


The last of us

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Minor Character Death, Smut, Some fluff of course, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-03-19 13:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 134,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13705848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: Liam is one of the few survivors of an apocalypse that is slowly but surely wiping out the population. Though he has been living in a camp with other survivors for months, things are getting tense and he knows leaving would be his best shot. He’s not the only one with that plan.(Liam and Niall are trying to survive during a zombie apocalypse and to get back home)





	1. Liam

**Author's Note:**

> (Title taken from the video game The Last of Us)

Liam didn’t remember a before. Whenever he tried, flashbacks from the in between would keep him from even wanting to try to remember anything at all. For a while, he had refused to accept it, had sat up all night telling himself that it had all just been a bad dream, that none of this was real, that it’d be fine, that somebody somewhere would find a solution. 

But no one had. 

Things were getting tense here and Liam wasn’t planning on sticking around until it’d all blow up. And it would, he was certain of that, he had seen enough, had been through enough to just sit around here and wait for it all to go to shit. There was nothing here for him and maybe there wasn’t anything for him out there either but Liam wasn’t sure if he cared anymore.

One thing was for sure, staying here and playing pretend wasn’t going to solve anything, wasn’t going to save anybody. They were probably all doomed anyways, but Liam at least wanted a goddamn shot.

“Liam, can I talk to you after we’re done here?” This was the only problem, the only person who was about to ruin Liam’s entire plan by being up in his personal space since a whole week now. A boy called Harry, probably Liam’s age, but Liam had never asked because he didn’t care, he kept to himself in here because he wasn’t an idiot unlike so many others seemed to be.

“I don’t know, I was gonna-“

“Please?” They were whispering while digging around in the dirt and Liam had no idea why, but he feared it was because Harry had been watching him too closely over the last few days. If he ratted Liam out then he was absolutely screwed.

“Fine.” The brunette gave in, rolling his eyes before covering another tomato seed with dirt and getting up almost immediately afterwards, rubbing his dirty hands on his jeans. “I’m done. I only have 5 minutes.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” Harry seemed really alarmed by this, they still had work to do here but no one was paying attention right now and Liam actually didn’t see a point in continuing. He’d be gone in less than a few hours, he’d never see this place in daylight again and he didn’t even care.

Having Harry following him like a puppy kinda ruined Liam’s plan a little bit, but he only really thought about it for a moment as he grabbed two bottles of water on their way out of the plant house though he had already grabbed two this morning, but the other boy didn’t comment it. “What do you want?”

“Well… I wanted to ask you something.” Great, then why couldn’t he just do it?

“What?” Liam couldn’t help sounding rude, he was feeling really tense even though he knew that no one they were walking past was being suspicious or anything, he just felt paranoid ever since he had decided to take off. 

“Umm… “ Harry started, clearly hesitating and Liam rolled his eyes, about to say something really rude, but instead he kept quiet, silently hoping that it wasn’t what he thought it was. It was. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“Why do you care?” They didn’t know each other, not really, Liam hadn’t made an effort to really meet anybody here because what would the point have been?

“So I’m right?” God.

“What do you want, Harry?” Truly, did he want Liam to take him with him or something? Somebody like Harry wouldn’t survive for even just a single day.

“I just… I’ve seen you taking things over the last couple days and I was just wondering… why? Why would you leave?” Okay, Liam truly had had a too long day to have this conversation now. “Being here is our best shot.”

“Nobody in here is gonna fix the world, Harry.” Not only because there were only about 50 people and none of them seemed capable of doing it but mostly because no one had tried. None of them seemed to even WANT to fix anything, which was fine, if this was what they wanted their lives to be like, but Liam didn’t.

“Maybe they won’t, but… there’s nothing out there. There’s nowhere to go.” Had he just come talking to Liam so he could tell him that or what? 

“I’m not asking you for permission to go and I never asked you for your input either, so if you could just-“

“I just wanna know why.” They had almost reached Liam’s tent now and the brunette was getting impatient with this boy because what was his deal? The only problem was, if Liam was being too rude, Harry would possibly rat him out and then he’d be in real deep shit.

“Listen” Liam started, stopping so suddenly that Harry almost bumped into him, looking kinda scared as the brunette lowered his voice, making sure nobody was watching them or listening in on their conversation. “This right here, it might be working for now, but it’s not going to last. People are already starting to question this guy who thinks he can call himself the leader and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re pretty damn short on food and water.”

“So you think stealing food and water will make things better?” Who did this boy think he was, some kinda morality officer?

“I’m not stealing shit, it doesn’t belong to anybody. And it doesn’t matter why I’m leaving, it’s none of your business, alright?” As expected though, when Liam kept on walking, Harry followed him immediately and to make matters even worse, he said the one thing Liam had really been hoping he wouldn’t say.

“What if I wanna leave too?” Great.

“I don’t care.” He really wouldn’t have, except…

“We could go together, help each other out, I have a friend who-“

“No. We’re not going anywhere together, you’re just going to hold me back.” He was, he was talking way too much and to make matters worse, he was also really bad at self defense. Liam had seen it often enough whenever they had been training together. “Trust me, you will live longer if you just stay here.”

“You wouldn’t leave if you’d think we all had a chance.” True, but a blind person could have told Harry that as well. “You won’t make it on your own.”

“What’s it to you? You’ve got nothing to offer me, once we’re outside I’m gonna have to save your ass over and over again and I’m not gonna do that, I’m faster on my own.” Maybe Liam was being harsh, he hadn’t been this way a few months ago, but things had changed, and so had Liam.

“Faster to get where?” Harry just wouldn’t shut up, they were standing in front of Liam’s tent now and the brunette was kinda worried people were going to start paying attention to them, but so far neither of them was yelling. “If you don’t tell me I’m gonna tell everyone you’re planning on leaving.”

“I just wanna get away from here, I don’t care where I end up, okay? I don’t know a magical place where the world is still intact, so stop trying to threaten me. I won’t take you with me no matter what you say.” Apparently that had been clear enough because Harry’s face fell after that and yet he still opened his mouth one more time but Liam made sure to cut him off before the other boy had even had a chance to whine some more. “You won’t make it out there, it’s the truth. And I won’t risk my life for you.”

“I’m not gonna make it in here either.” It was true, but Harry simply turned around and left before Liam could have answered, seemingly having given up and the brunette really did not wanna feel guilty, but he kinda did.

There was a good chance things would stay the way they were in a here for another month, maybe even more, but they were running out of supplies and things had got heated a few weeks ago, when somebody had started questioning where half the food went, as if they didn’t all know that the guy in charge took most of it for himself and his family. Needless to say, nobody had ever seen the man who had spoken up again.

This wasn’t Liam’s only reason for leaving though, he also couldn’t stand it anymore, just being here doing pointless work, keeping themselves busy and pretending nothing was wrong. Pretending they could stay here forever or maybe pretending that one day somebody would come and save them all. Nobody would come and everybody needed to save themselves.

 

\---------------------

 

There were guards on the walls during the night, but only two and they both stayed in the same place all night long, Liam had long figured that out. He waited until it was almost morning, his backpack that he had had before all this already fully packed with the things he had stolen over the last few days while preparing for his departure. 

Liam was nervous, but not really, because in the end, he didn’t actually care anymore what happened to him and he knew that out of everyone here, he was one of the few who actually had a chance fending for themselves. Maybe leaving meant he still had some hope left, maybe it meant that he wasn’t as careless as he’d like to be, but no matter the reason, Liam couldn’t stay here.

It was almost too easy, climbing over the wall and walking away. Liam had been outside a couple of times ever since he had gotten here, so he wasn’t shocked or anything, he had been out here for a while when all of it had started and it almost felt strangely reliving, to know that he was finally turning his back on these people, on the only ‘safe’ place he had encountered.

Then again, nowhere was safe, not really, not anymore.

Three months ago, Liam had woken up like any other day during the holiday he had taken with his parents and his slightly older sister, not knowing that it had been the last day that things had still been ‘normal’. Not knowing that two weeks later, he would be all on his own, with nothing but the clothes on his back and whatever he had had in his backpack when it had started. 

Liam had seen enough movies and TV shows about the end of the world, but living it was a whole lot different. There weren’t any gigantic waves or hurricanes, no movement of any continents or anything like that. Also no zombies, not real ones anyways, because Liam was pretty sure that real zombies would have to die and then come back to life, which wasn’t the case here.

All he knew was that he had killed real people, people with an illness that could maybe be cured in the future, but not right now. Right now they were trying to kill him instead because they weren’t themselves, because of some virus that messed with the brain of its host, but Liam had never been good in biology so he could have been told anything at all really. It also didn’t matter in the end, because he couldn’t change things, he could just try to survive.

Even though lately, Liam wasn’t really sure what he would have wanted to survive for anyways.

All day long, Liam just walked, not encountering a single soul and he would have wondered if everybody had just died, if the virus was actually deadly and they had been hiding out long enough in that camp, but when there was screaming behind him, he almost stumbled after barely having heard anything all day long. 

Liam’s hand immediately flew to the gun in the back of his jeans as he spun around, his heart thumping in his chest as he tried to figure out where the screaming had come from. It must have come from a normal person, once infected Liam was pretty certain nobody could talk normally anymore, but then again, what did he know? It had been two months since he had been on his own out here and things had possibly changed.

There was no sound following that scream and Liam would have thought it had been some sort of hallucination if he hadn’t suddenly heard voices and then to make matters even worse, actually saw two familiar faces walking out from behind a few houses that were flanking the street Liam had been walking on. That fucking bastard.

“Look, I know what this looks like, but-“

“I don’t care.” Liam made sure to tuck the gun back into the back of his jeans, feeling heat coiling in his stomach as he turned his back on Harry and that other guy from the camp, whatever his name had been. They had been following Liam all day, no doubt, and if anything, the brunette was more annoyed with himself for not having noticed than those two actually standing in front of him.

“Dude, Harry just almost died falling into some trap someone put up and we’re both covered in mud and you’re just gonna walk away? What’s wrong with you?” Okay, whoever this other guy was, he was clearly even more annoying than Harry, he was also half yelling around, asking to be killed pretty much. “We might have been getting attacked by zombies and you were just standing there with your gun.”

“Louis, they’re not zombies.” Harry threw in and apparently they were just following Liam now and though the brunette wanted to yell at them to get lost, he decided he would just pretend they weren’t there. Which was pretty damn hard. “Liam, look, I’m sorry we just followed you, but… we all know things are gonna go wrong in that camp sooner or later and… we wanted to have a shot. A real one. And you’re good with guns and-“

“And you two aren’t good with anything, so what’s in it for me?” Nothing at all, obviously.

“Some company? Also, I’m not that bad at defending myself, you don’t even know me.” Okay, that was it.

“ _Exactly_. I don’t know you guys, we just happened to all survive and end up in that camp, so what? I don’t owe you guys anything, I don’t need to protect you or risk my life for you just because you won’t make it on your own. That’s your problem, neither of you should have left and you should both go back before it’s too late.” Well, except for the fact that they surely wouldn’t get taken back in, so they really had no choice, but again, it wasn’t Liam’s problem. “I wanna be alone.”

“Well, but maybe we wanna walk on that same street in the same direction, what’re you gonna do about that?” Nothing, there was nothing Liam could have done so he just shut his mouth and kept on walking, trying not to explode on the inside though. Whatever, he wasn’t going to try and save either of them, if they got themselves killed, it wouldn’t be Liam’s fault. “You don’t happen to have a tissue, do you?”

Liam couldn’t believe it, here he was, with 2 strangers who apparently had never even seen what they called ‘zombies’, who didn’t seem to have any weapon whatsoever and yet they were asking him for bloody _tissues_. This had to be a joke, this couldn’t be real, the world had ended and this Louis guy wanted to wipe mud off his face.

They just kept talking to each other behind Liam, following him around for the next few hours and honestly, what would the brunette have done? Run away? There was no point and at least the other two had lowered their voices so they were all being pretty quiet, which was good because Liam was aware that making noise would have been the worst idea ever. He had made that mistake a few too many times when things had first started to go bad.

“So, Liam, where are you from? You’re clearly from the UK as well.” What the hell? 

“I don’t think he’s ever gonna talk to us again, Lou.” They seemed to know each other well, from the way they spoke to each other, but Liam didn’t care, he was more busy keeping an eye on their surroundings. Apparently things had changed quite a bit compared to when he had been out here on his own and there seemed to have been somebody trying to kill him at every corner. Or somebody begging for his help because the virus had been taking over and… Liam didn’t wanna think about it anymore. 

“He could at least tell us where we’re going, I mean… he has a plan, right? He didn’t just wake up one day deciding to take off in the middle of the night without a plan?” If Louis only knew. “We’ll be spending an awful lot of time together now that we’re apparently the last people alive, so you might as well tell us where you’re from or I’m just gonna keep asking.” 

For a moment, Liam considered answering, but instead, he kept quiet, trying to block the other boys’ voices out, their mindless chatter getting him more annoyed than he would have thought. It’s just, what was the bloody point? Why were they following him? He wouldn’t be able to protect them, he wasn’t going to lead them to safety, hell, he wasn’t even sure just yet if he would be able to protect himself.

At some point, they did give up on asking Liam a hundred question per minute and eventually, their own conversation died down a little bit once the sun was setting and they maybe started to realize that things weren’t as easy as they seemed to have thought they were.

“Should we check out those houses over there? I mean, we gotta sleep somewhere, right?” Harry was right but Liam didn’t really wanna admit it, so he ignored the other boy but still started to walk towards the houses, hearing Louis snicker behind him but it didn’t exactly phase him.

Liam made sure his knife was steady in his hand as they got closer, not really caring that much what Harry and Louis were doing, whether they were being careful or not, they weren’t a team, he wasn’t responsible for them.

Just because they hadn’t seen anybody all day didn’t mean that everybody was gone or dead and Liam barely allowed himself to breathe as he walked into the first house, the door wide open, probably because its owners had just been trying to get away. The other two weren’t behind him anymore, which was good because that meant they weren’t going to make any sound.

A few times Liam almost had a heart attack while walking from room to room, but it were only a bird and a squirrel and after checking the top floor as well, the brunette had a bit of an internal fight about whether he should have gotten the other two or checked on them. Fuck, he didn’t wanna get involved, they were following him against his will and-

“LIAM!” 

It was undoubtedly Harry’s voice and Liam hated himself for not even hesitating a second before bolting down the stairs and out onto the street to come to his rescue, almost panicking at first when he couldn’t find him.

They had gone to the house next door and while Louis was just standing there, seemingly frozen and in shock, Harry was on the porch wringing with a woman. She had been infected, no doubt, even though Liam couldn’t see her face, he saw her torn clothes and he heard her trying to bite at Harry’s throat. Fuck, had Louis and Harry really not taken ANY weapons with them, what the hell?!

“Liam, _please_ , help me, I-“

Before Harry had been able to finish, Liam had already driven his knife in the side of the woman’s head, her lifeless body falling on top of Harry’s, his clothes sprinkled with her blood. Somewhere behind them, Louis was throwing up in some bushes.

“Did she bite or scratch you?” There was no time to pity Harry or to check on Louis, Liam was highly alarmed now as he looked around to make sure there weren’t more, waiting for Harry to push the dead body off of himself before slowly getting up, his face white as a sheet. “Harry, god damn it, answer the fucking question, did she get you?”

“What? No, I… she didn’t, we were just… she just… Liam, I… thank you, I… I thought she needed help, she was just in there, I thought-“

“I don’t care what you _thought_ , I told you this would happen, didn’t I? You didn’t even take a damn knife with you when you left? What did you think this was gonna be? A nice walk? Where have either of you even been before getting to that camp?” It suddenly dawned on Liam that based on their reactions, he wasn’t only stuck with two guys who wanted him to protect them, he was also stuck with two guys who had had no idea until now what exactly they wanted Liam to protect them from.

“I… Louis was there all along and… and I got there a few days after it started, they evacuated the place I was staying at and-… wait, where are you going?!” Liam couldn’t take this any longer, he walked past Louis, who was still kinda bent over those bushes, simply going back into that house he had cleared before because talking out here in the open was almost as bad of a decision as saving Harry’s life had been. Fuck.

The other two only came after a few minutes, both still in shock, but at least they immediately closed the door behind themselves before finding Liam sitting on the living room floor, between torn open drawers and broken glasses. At least neither Louis nor Harry had something stupid to say right now even though that wasn’t going to solve the clear issue at hand. 

“Look, Liam… I’m sorry. I know I would have probably… I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there, so thank you. I know it was dumb of us to just follow you, we haven’t been out here like you, but… we needed to get away from that place and you were our only option. I know you don’t want us to come with you, but… we can learn, you can teach us and we won’t be a bother, we can all help each other out, just… please. We don’t have anywhere else to go, we’re not gonna make it without you and we can’t go back.” Harry seemed to be close to tears now, they were still both standing in the doorway to the living room, Louis not even saying one single word, quite looking as if he was gonna throw up again any second. “Please.”

What was Liam supposed to say, honestly? He wasn’t a monster, he had just wanted to leave this place and not be there when it all went to shit, he knew Harry and Louis would die without him, that he’d feel guilty no matter what he told himself. Really, there was no choice here.

“I don’t have a plan. I don’t know where I’m going, I just wanted to leave. I can’t promise that you’ll be safe with me and I don’t know if any of us are going to survive, but… if you do what I say and if you take this more seriously, then… we can go together. But I’m in charge and if any of you ever throws up in front of me again then that’s it.” Liam couldn’t stand the smell, he had held his breath walking past Louis before and maybe it was a poor attempt at a joke but Harry’s face brightened up immediately.

“You can stab a woman in the head but you can’t handle some vomit?” Apparently. 

“It’s none of your business.” There was no need to become too nice, Liam just ended the conversation by opening his backpack and getting some of the food out he had stolen, not giving anything to Harry and Louis though because they had their own backpacks, probably filled with nothing but air judging by how little they had prepared. 

The silence between them was slightly awkward for a few minutes and it was actually Louis who spoke up then and Liam tried not to be too shocked that somebody would genuinely ask this question after three months since it had all happened. “So… those people that got infected… they would kill us? I mean… if you hadn’t been there… would Harry be dead because I was an idiot and couldn’t move?”

“They’re highly aggressive, as you’ve seen, so… yes. It doesn’t mean Harry would be dead, they don’t suddenly get superpowers, but if you’re bit or scratched they infect you and it can take a few days until you become like them, but… there’s no way to stop it.” Liam had to know, he had tried.

“But they’re not dead? We’re killing real living people with an illness?” Well, THEY clearly hadn’t killed anybody yet.

“Yes.” Liam wasn’t going to try and make it sound better for them, he wasn’t an expert either, he just knew what he had seen and if Harry and Louis wanted to come with him then they needed to know these things as well. “We kill them or they kill us, they don’t behave like people anymore, they don’t talk, they can’t be reasoned with and they would kill you in a heartbeat if you let them.”

“Do you know what it is? I mean… we’ve all seen what they told us on TV when we got evacuated and stuff, but… “ But Louis was hoping Liam could tell him something that’d give him hope, the brunette could tell that they were desperate for him to say something positive, but there wasn’t anything positive about any of this.

“I don’t know much more than that… I know it’s some virus and I know what happens if you get infected and that it takes a while for the symptoms to show. And I know there’s no cure because it’s been three months and it seems we’re the only people even alive outside that camp.” They probably weren’t, they had only been walking for a day, but it was enough to make Harry and Louis go quiet and Liam along with them. Saying it all out loud made things a little bit too real, especially considering they had been in that camp until this morning.

When it got dark shortly after, Liam volunteered to stay awake and keep watch because he had a lot of thinking to do anyways. They had no plan and nowhere to go, Harry and Louis couldn’t defend themselves let alone fight and Liam started to doubt whether leaving had been the right decision after all.

 

\-----------

 

It was difficult, a lot more difficult than it would have been had Liam been on his own. After two weeks had passed, the brunette was surprised they were all still alive, that he had only had to save Harry’s life 7 times and Louis’ 5, but that was mainly due to the fact that things had definitely cooled down during the time they had been in that camp and it did make Liam wonder more each day whether leaving had been the right decision. Not that they could have gone back, also because Liam had forgotten the way.

People affected with the virus couldn’t live forever without food of course, which was evident seeing all those dead bodies, but there were still too many of them and during those 14 days of trying to survive and at the same time attempting to teach Harry and Louis how to use knives so they could keep the guns for emergencies, they only met normal people on two occasions. One time, Liam decided to stay hidden, and a second time, he pointed them into a vague direction of their old camp but warned them after meeting Harry’s glare. What did Liam care about strangers?

He also tried not to care about Harry and Louis, but it was hard after spending all day and night together.

“You know what’s literally so stupid? I’ve kept my phone all this time, it’s out of charge since ages of course, but… I don’t know, it kinda keeps me sane, somehow. Also, once the world is in tact again, maybe all phones except for mine have gotten lost and I’ll become famous.” Doubtful, but Liam refrained from making a stupid comment because Louis was clearly just joking. 

“You can’t be famous if you’re the only person alive.” Harry’s mindset had clearly gotten darker during the past few days, but that wasn’t Liam’s fault, he had warned them that he had no plan. 

“We’re not the only people alive clearly. We don’t even know if any other continent is affected or if it’s just North America.” True, Liam had had contact with his friends when it had all happened and things back home had still been normal then, but even if they had had a working phone now, they wouldn’t have been able to get a connection anyways. “Our families might be alive.”

That statement did strike a nerve in Liam, but he refused to acknowledge it. He knew that Harry and Louis were both exchange students from the UK, so they had come here individually and then met in that camp three months ago or something, whereas Liam… Liam had been on a family vacation and if there was one reason why he was walking on that road right now with no goal, it was mostly because of that. He had tried to see it as an advantage, that he had nobody left to worry about, nothing to get back to, but instead it was making him cold and reckless.

“But if everyone else was well, they would have sent help. Or something at least, I mean, I don’t know how that works, but-“

“Maybe they are. Maybe just not where we are, it’s why I’ve been saying the whole time that we need to get to a bigger city. We’re also short on food and water and it’s getting kinda hard to find a sleeping place, a city would solve all that.” Not this topic again.

“Bigger cities equal bigger populations that have gotten infected meaning more chances for both of you to die, so no, we’re not gonna do that.” It was the first time Liam had spoken up in an hour, he was walking ahead of the other two like most of the time, trusting them to at least watch their own backs. Which had proven to be a mistake more than once.

“Okay, I see your point, but you have no other plan to offer, do you? Are we just gonna keep walking?” Louis sounded a bit annoyed and it was almost enough to make Liam turn around but then he didn’t because he really didn’t wanna get into an argument. Again. 

“I told you I had no plan and yet both of you ran after me and then stalked me for an entire day and begged me to take you guys with me. You’re free to go wherever you wanna go.” This was usually how all their fights ended, because it was true that the other two were dependent on Liam and they all knew it. Although, they had least gotten slightly better at defending themselves and Louis had stopped throwing up whenever he saw blood. 

“You don’t always have to be so fucking grumpy, you know.” Louis said it under his breath, so Liam ignored it, they were definitely getting on each other’s nerves once a while, which was mostly Liam’s fault because he couldn’t stop thinking about how much easier it would have been had he been alone. Especially in terms of being able to think clearly.

“Should we, um, check out those houses? It’s getting late… “ Harry was clearly trying hard not to cause yet another fight so Liam sighed internally before nodding, slowing down a bit as they approached one of the three houses by the side of the road.

The area wasn’t really protected and there weren’t that many trees, but Harry was right about it getting late and they couldn’t stay out in the open. They COULD have, but Liam would have rather not sat up the whole night by himself again.

Though the front door was closed, it wasn’t locked, but Liam tried to be as quiet as possible opening it, putting a finger to his lips when he heard Harry taking a breath to say something. The inside of the house looked strangely well kept, not completely, but the owners had probably left early on and nobody else had been in here until now. 

Liam briefly checked the downstairs area before silently telling Harry and Louis to stay down there while he went upstairs, fingers curled tightly around his gun. He wouldn’t have risked using it in here and making a hell lot of noise and wasting a bullet, but it was still kinda comforting to know that he had a way to defend himself. It was kinda funny really, he had never even held a gun before all this, had never thought about it either, and now he was teaching Harry and Louis how to handle it, how to kill with it.

The house was quiet, Liam made sure to open all the doors upstairs as well, but nobody was there and he was already about to go back to the others when he heard something scrunch underneath his shoe. It was a candy wrapper, which wouldn’t have been too odd really, but it kinda seemed out of place considering no one had been here.

Feeling his heart speeding up a little, Liam turned back around, looking into one of the rooms he had just checked before, his eyes to getting stuck on a closet he had completely ignored before. He hadn’t been checking for normal people, only for infected, and it had never really occurred to him that maybe not everyone had left their houses. But then why would the front door have been unlocked?

The floor was screeching a bit underneath Liam as he walked back into the room and towards the closet, holding his breath as he reached out for the handle, not knowing what to expect, so he didn’t hesitate. A part in Liam hadn’t thought he’d actually find anybody, he had simply thought his paranoia was taking over or something, maybe that’s why he had been 0.1 seconds before pulling the trigger upon seeing somebody hiding in the corner of the closet.

“PLEASE DON’T!” There was no doubt that Harry and Louis had heard that as well, but Liam didn’t care, he didn’t lower his gun, a million questions running through his mind as he started at the boy in front of him, crying and looking even dirtier than Liam and the other two. “Please, I’m sorry if this is your house, I’m sorry, I can just go, I w-was j-just-“

“Liam, are you okay? What’s going on?” Harry and Louis had come upstairs before the boy had even been able to finish apologizing and crying, but Liam still hadn’t lowered his gun. Maybe this was just an act, a distraction, maybe that boy wasn’t alone. 

“Are you alone?” Liam ignored Harry’s question, not taking his eyes off the stranger, having started to cry even more upon seeing Louis and Harry walking in behind Liam. Fuck, why was this happening?

“Um… y-yes.” Well, that didn’t sound too convincing, but the boy was also crying like a baby, so maybe Liam could take that into consideration.

“Why were you hiding?” To be honest, it wasn’t hard to figure why he had been hiding, but Liam was just being conscious, which was being greatly interrupted by Harry.

“Liam, can you just let him be? At least lower your gun, he’s already crying, he’s not a threat, he-“

“Yeah, because _you_ know so much about threats, right?” Just to prove a point, Liam didn’t lower the gun in any way, still staring that boy dead in his blue eyes. “Answer the question, why were you hiding?”

“I… I thought maybe… maybe you live here a-and… you’re gonna… kill me or… I can j-just go, really, I’m sorry.” This was pointless, the boy didn’t even have any weapons, he looked like he had been out here for a month straight and Liam would have felt bad had he not been trying to survive himself. “Please… don’t k-kill me.”

“Get out of the closet and walk down the stairs, go.” Liam knew it wasn’t smart to let this boy go, but he also didn’t wanna shoot him and he certainly didn’t wanna just let him stay here. Apparently though, he seemed to be the only one with a common sense in this room. 

“You wanna send him away now? It’s almost dark, he doesn’t have any weapons and he looks like he hasn’t eaten in 10 days, don’t be such an asshole, Li, he’s on his own.” The use of that nickname was definitely new and Liam absolutely hated it, but it was his smallest problem right now. 

“I wish _I_ was on my own since two weeks now but we can’t all have what we want, can we? If you guys wanna survive then you gotta stop being idiots about every single thing and just _listen_ to me!” Honestly, Liam was about to snap, maybe, if he had indeed been on his own and maybe, if Harry and Louis hadn’t been getting on his nerves for 14 days now he would have actually considered letting that boy stay for a bit. “And _you_ , you need to get the fuck out, now.”

“O-Okay, I-“

“No, he’s not going anywhere and you can’t decide, Liam. I’m done, shoot me if you want, I don’t care.” And with that, Louis simply walked around Liam, completely ignoring the brunette as he want to coddle that boy who had already been about to get out of the closet. What the fuck?! “Hey… what’s your name?”

“Um… N-Niall, but… but I think I’d... I’d rather g-go and-“

“No way, we got food and water and it’s night, you’ll be much safer here. And don’t worry about Liam, he’s always like, it’ll pass.” There were so many things Liam could have said right now, but he was actually so fucking angry at Louis that for just a single moment, he considered using the gun. Not to shoot Louis, just to give him a scare.

Instead, Liam simply turned around, walking past Harry who tried to stop him and going back downstairs. The others had left their things in the living room, but at least they had been smart enough to close the door and pull the curtains, so it was quite dark but Liam still had no trouble finding another room seeing as there was no bloody way he’d stay where the others were. 

Of course Liam could have left, but it would have been dumb as hell and he didn’t wanna risk his own life just because Harry and Louis were being idiots. Chances were that boy upstairs, Niall or whatever, really was no threat, but what if he was? Why would anybody wanna take that chance? Just because Louis and Harry seemed to think that it was Liam’s duty to take care of them or something didn’t mean they could expect him to just help everybody out they met. 

It's not that Liam had no empathy, he had just done and seen enough to decide that he’d rather be safe than sorry. 

They didn’t come downstairs immediately and when they did, Harry tried to come talk to Liam but the brunette simply pretended he wasn’t there until he walked away, probably rolling his eyes while doing so but there was no way to tell because it was too dark and all they had were some candles. Liam would have suggested they should have saved them, but since nobody seemed to need his advice here, he saw no reason to speak up.

Liam was sitting in the kitchen, trying to come up with a plan while the others seemed to have become BFF with Niall in no time. How come no one was taking this fucking serious? 

“… been in this camp since it started, really, we left two weeks ago with Liam.” Right, now they had suddenly all left together or what?

“But… why would you leave?” That Niall boy was speaking so quietly that Liam barely heard him, he was probably scared to death of Liam or something, which wasn’t a bad thing. 

“Things were getting really tense, we were running out of food and other people started to speak up and then mysteriously disappeared, so… we all knew it was only a matter of time before it would have all blown up.” Harry explained it like he hadn’t questioned Liam about leaving, but then again, he had probably just played dumb to ask Liam what he had really been wanting to ask. “What about you?”

“I, uh… I’ve been out since it started, I was with a few people, uh… they… died.” His voice almost broke away towards the end but Liam tried to stay annoyed with him anyways. Not like it mattered. “You guys have… very british accents.”

“Yeah, we’re both exchange students… or were. We don’t know about Liam because he doesn’t talk about himself, but he’s not from here either. And you don’t sound like it either.” They laughed, genuinely _laughed_ , as if everything was fine, as if they were just 3 lads joking around or something.

“I’m from Ireland, I… I was visiting family and… I was actually at the airport when it all started and they cancelled all the flights… “ Niall clearly ruined the mood with his story, there was some moment of quiet and then suddenly, he said something that made even Liam listen up from the other room though Niall had almost been whispering. “I need to get home.”

“I don’t think that… that we can.” Louis was talking as if he was talking to a child, and maybe Niall was though he looked about their age, he didn’t really behave like it. Then again, he had been on his own and he was still alive, so he was probably more skilled than Harry and Louis. 

“Maybe we can, when I was with those other people they were always talking about how it’s only happened in North America and that we were just in a bad spot for evacuating.” Liam couldn’t tell whether Niall was being serious or whether he was just trying to make himself feel better, but he was trying not to get his hopes up either way because chances were none of it was true anyways.

“So… where is a good place for evacuating?” No matter what Niall’s answer was to this question, Liam was pretty sure he didn’t even wanna know. But turned out it was even worse than expected.

“Uh… Toronto.” Did this kid even know where Canada was and where they were right now? Probably not, maybe he had been out here for long enough that he had lost touch with reality. “I mean, I don’t know if it’s true, but… it’s just what people were talking about.”

“Well, it’s not like we have any other plans, so… “ What?! “We’d just need like, a map or something, because I-“

“You guys know that we’re literally in Florida, right?” Liam just hadn’t been able to hold it in anymore, having gotten up and walked over into the other room without thinking about it because why was it that he was the only one who ever considered consequences? “None of us knows the way, we don’t have a map and even if we did, we’d be walking for at least a month or more.”

“So? You were the one who wanted to just walk, right? You left without a plan and now we have one and you don’t even wanna try? Do you wanna die or something?” That question did make Liam close his mouth as he seriously considered the question, his eyes wandering to Niall, who was sitting on the floor between Harry and Louis, very obviously trying not to accidentally look Liam in the face. 

“We’re all gonna die anyways.” There, Liam had said it, he knew it was inevitable, they all knew it, so why were they still making themselves hopes?

“Okay, so can we at least die while trying _not_ to die?” Louis was being sarcastic now and Liam wanted to just walk off again, but instead he went to sit down as far from the others away as the room allowed, desperately trying not to look like a whiny child. It’s just… this wasn’t how he had imagined leaving that camp to be like. Then again, what exactly HAD he expected? “Good. And we’re also gonna take Niall with us, we wouldn’t even know where to go without him and we can’t leave him all alone.”

“We’re already too many people, we’d get there a lot quicker without him, it’d be less dangerous and we would need less supplies.” At least now Liam could tell himself that he had tried talking them out of it, right? Deep down he knew that he was slowly losing control of this situation even though he had no idea how that had happened because he was literally the only one capable of defending himself. And maybe Niall was as well, but Liam didn’t care about him, even less than about Harry and Louis. 

“We’re going, if you wanna come you can.” Great. “I’d be happy if you did.”

Niall wouldn’t be happy, Liam could see it in the boy’s face and it almost made him let out a humorless laugh. If only that kid knew just how many times Liam had saved Harry and Louis, he would have surely not wished to be alone with them. “Because you want me to save your ass a 6th time to make it even?”

“Because I think as much as you’re telling yourself that you wanna be by yourself, you would have long left me and Haz behind if you would have really wanted to get rid of us.” There was nothing to reply to that really, Liam thought about saying something but then he didn’t because he knew it was true. He had his reasons though, for having wanted to go by himself but there was no need to say them out loud, not now and maybe not ever because who knew if they’d even still be alive tomorrow.

After a few moments of awkward silence, the others started talking again and Liam went to search the house for a map and other stuff they might have possibly needed with a flashlight that he had found in the kitchen. When he was done searching the house, the others had fallen asleep, which was pretty ironic because it had been Harry who had loudly announced yesterday that he would keep first watch tonight. 

So Liam sat up instead, studying a few maps he had found upstairs and trying not to make himself any hopes. It was better to just accept the fact that their death was certain and that it would most likely occur before they ever made it to Toronto or anywhere else, there was no such a thing as safety and certainly no evacuation but if the others wanted to keep feeding their illusions… Liam had nothing better to do anyways.

“I’m sorry for before… “ It was only a whisper and yet it almost caused Liam to jump because of how paranoid he had gotten, which was quickly replaced by annoyance when he realized that it had been Niall and that he was still awake, probably having watched Liam this whole time. 

“Okay.” Liam honestly didn’t know what he was sorry for, he still didn’t trust Niall, but then again, could he have ever truly trusted any of them?

“And also… I know you don’t want me to come, but… I’ve been on my own for a while now and… it sucks… “ If he was gonna start crying now then Liam would leave the room, he already didn’t know what to say anymore, he got what Niall was talking about and it’s not like Liam didn’t feel guilty, but were they just gonna trust and ask everybody who they happened to stumble upon to come with them? “I won’t be a bother, I… I’m pretty good with a knife.”

“You should sleep, it’s late.” Or maybe it wasn’t, Liam didn’t have a clock or anything, he just wanted Niall to stop talking to him and make him feel bad for him. They were all in the same situation, they all didn’t wanna be here and wanted things to go back to normal, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Or ever.

“I can’t, but you can if you want and I’ll… keep watch.” Yeah, right, as if Liam hadn’t already mistrusted the boy, now he was really getting suspicious. 

“I think I’d rather get up tomorrow without a gun to my head, but thanks.” Maybe Niall really was just putting up an act, but then again, for what? If he was with other people, what would they have wanted from them? Hell, they didn’t even have that much food or water left and they’d have even less soon now that Niall was here. 

“I know you don’t trust me, but… I hope you will, at some point… “ Yeah, probably not.

Liam stopped replying then because he didn’t really see a point in doing so anymore and luckily Niall shut his mouth as well. Whether he went to sleep was another question, all Liam knew was that Harry woke up at some point to tell Liam he could sleep now and though the brunette tried to stay awake anyways just in case Niall tried something, he did fall asleep in the end, dreaming about getting to Toronto just to find out that there was nothing there.

 

\-----------------

 

They checked out the other houses in the morning to take as much with them as possible before taking off, Liam walking ahead of the other three, a little bit because he had a map, but mostly because he didn’t really wanna engage in any conversation whatsoever. He did shush the others once a while when their laughs were getting too loud because apparently nobody cared if they were being found or not. By normal people or infected.

Liam was now determined to get to Toronto as fast as possible after that night, just to show the others how stupid that plan had been because he was 100% convinced that there was nothing there, that neither of them would ever get home again. And maybe it did seem a little far to do this just to be able to tell the others ‘I told you so’, but it was for everyone’s good if they got there as fast as possible after all, right?

At some point, Liam must have either started walking a bit slower or the others had started walking faster, but either ways, it only made him realize that he wasn’t missing out on anything not taking part in their conversations.

“… just got really scared in our camp because somebody kinda saw us together and… I don’t know, things were already tense and this would have only made it worse for us, our leader wasn’t exactly open to anything, whether it be criticism or… you know.” Of course Liam had realized that Harry and Louis were kinda together, but it hadn’t really occurred to him that that had been a reason for them to wanna leave with him. Then again, it wouldn’t have changed his mind either ways, it hadn’t been a personal thing that he had told Harry no after all. “Which is really stupid because the world is ending and people are still homophobic.”

“I think the world ending just made everyone worse… “ Niall’s world view was a bit too dark to genuinely talk about getting home at some point, but maybe that was his survival tactic or something, Liam didn’t care because even though they had been walking for 5 hours, he still wasn’t sure whether Niall was on his own or not. “How many, uh, how many people have you guys killed?”

That question almost made Liam turn his head, but then he didn’t and instead waited for the others to answer, with quite some hesitation. “You mean… infected people?”

“Um… both.” Was Niall now saying that he had killed other people as well? And Harry and Louis were still wondering why Liam hadn’t wanted him to come?

“We’ve only left 2 weeks ago, so… I killed five. They were all infected though.” And all five of them had almost killed Harry before he had even lifted his arm, but Liam bit his lips. 

“Three for me… you?” Louis’ ‘you?’ only came after a moment of silence and it was clear that Niall had some trouble answering and Liam willingly slowed down a bit for the first time.

“Um… 31 infected… and two who weren’t.” That certainly was a surprise, nobody said a word after that and Liam suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable walking with his back towards Niall. It’s not that he was judging him for having killed because they all had, they didn’t have a choice, it’s just they didn’t know Niall and if he had wanted to right now, he could have killed either of them any fucking second. 

“Why the two?” Harry finally asked after it had already gotten awkward enough, his voice shaking a bit.

“One of them tried to kill me and… “ At this point, Niall broke off for just a moment, as if he didn’t like the memory or something. “One asked me to, um… she got attacked and then… she was bit… several times and… she wouldn’t have made it. So she was technically infected, but… not like that and… it was right at the beginning… she was the first person I killed.”

“Did you, like, know her?” They had all gotten a lot more quiet now, which was a good thing because they were walking on the side of the street, kinda out in the open. 

“Not really, we just got talking at the airport, so… “ It still sounded like it had been a traumatic experience and Liam knew exactly how Niall felt, but he didn’t say anything and instead kept on pretending he wasn’t even listening. As usual. “But not knowing them doesn’t really make it better, I think… also because even if they are infected and trying to kill or eat us or whatever… they still look human. Not like in those movies… “

“Yeah… “ Niall had made everyone uncomfortable now, however, Liam actually felt more interested than before, but he wasn’t going to try and have a conversation with Niall about any of this because it’d just make the boy feel as if Liam somehow had changed his mind about him or so. 

They walked in silence after that, for at least half an hour or something, which was actually kinda nice for once but it also made Liam turn around every few minutes or so, seemingly on accident, just to check if everyone was even still there. Not like he cared, not at all, he just wanted to know, that was all. 

It kinda happened out of nowhere really, the ground they were walking on wasn’t too bumpy or anything and yet Niall managed to somehow stumble over his own feet, which Liam only noticed because he heard a thump when the boy fell down and a _shit_ , followed by Louis and Harry asking whether he was alright.

Liam stopped unwillingly, not really watching though as they were helping him up. He was bleeding and Liam rolled his eyes when they had to take a break. He left the others sitting there cleaning Niall’s wound or whatever and used the chance to study the map again although they had just been walking into the same direction all day and couldn’t have possibly gotten lost. Only about a month more to go. 

Once they were ready to keep on walking again, Liam noticed that Harry’s face was a bit pale, as if he had been the one throwing up upon seeing blood two weeks ago and the brunette wanted to just shrug it off but then he forced himself to ask anyways. “Everything okay… with everyone?”

“Um, yeah.” Louis was the one who answered, clearly confused by the question and Niall nodded while Harry didn’t say anything at all, not even meeting Liam’s eyes. He was probably still thinking about what Niall had said earlier or something, Liam decided to just forget about it because they had bigger problems anyways. 

They found another empty house when it got dark, which was real luck because they had had to sleep outside a few times during the last few days. There were two infected inside which Liam killed because he was the first one to have gone inside as always even though Niall seemed to have been really eager to help somehow, maybe because he was trying to prove himself or something.

Ever since Niall had talked about killing people, the conversations had been a bit dull, so nobody was actually talking when they sat down to eat until Louis clearly got a bit pale, swallowing noticeably hard. “Uh, Niall, you’re bleeding.”

“Oh… “ The blonde indeed blood running down his hand from having fallen down earlier and Liam wondered why no one had given him any band aids, they had taken plenty of that sorta stuff with them. “It’s fine, I’ll just-“

“No, wait, I got something.” Louis went through his bag, seemingly unaware of Niall and Harry sharing a look but Liam definitely noticed though he stayed quiet, waiting. “Okay, here.”

“Thanks, um… “ Niall took the bandaids kinda hesitantly, not rolling up his sleeve though and if Liam had been suspicious before, it was nothing compared to now.

“Are you not gonna… put them on? Your sleeve is drenched.” It was indeed, and yet Niall just sat there not doing anything, looking at Harry as if he was silently asking him for help and Liam would have stepped in himself if Louis hadn’t done it for him. “I can help you.”

“No-“

And then Louis had already pulled up Niall’s sleeve, the blonde having been too slow to stop him because he had been busy staring at Harry, who had without a doubt already known what was being revealed to Louis and Liam only now.

There was blood on the back of his arm from falling down of course, but all Liam could stare at were the two bite marks on the inside of the boy’s arm that seemed to only be a few days old and the brunette was up on his feet in less than a second, Louis immediately backing away as well, as if just seeing the bites would have somehow resulted in them getting infected as well.

 _Fuck_ , Liam should have known, Niall was fucking infected, probably having been left behind by the people he had been with and what made matters even worse if any possible, Harry seemed to have already known for hours and had chosen to keep quiet. Even now, he didn’t appear to be shocked or surprised, didn’t even back away from the blonde so that was all the confirmation Liam needed.

How would they ever be able to trust one another if they could so easily decide to put each other in danger, over a stranger?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I’m back! With a bit of a different fic than I have ever done before and also different than I have ever seen on ao3 because I don’t think there actually is a niam zombie apocalypse one, so yeah, I’m excited to try it and I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter :D If not, that’s totally fine, I’ll write other stuff again after this and if you did, I’d love to her you guys’ thoughts!
> 
> Also, I wanted to say a couple things about this fic:
> 
> It’s not going to be very long because I just don’t see a lot of potential for the plot, I have a couple of ideas that I really wanna write and have been wanting to write for quite a while now, so I’m gonna do that and move on
> 
> One reason this fic is set in North America and not in England will become clearer towards the end but the main reason is simple: North America is big and every apocalypse movie I know is set in North America so it was the obvious choice for me. When I decided I was gonna write this fic, I did ‘research’ which resulted in me binge watching 7 seasons of the Walking Dead in an embarrassingly short time span, so that show is a big influence as well as the video game The Last of Us (and I LOVE that title so I stole it), which I never played but have watched other people play on Youtube.
> 
> I purposely decided to change the “zombies”, rename them and make the whole plot less brutal (one, because I think that it’s not realistic for the walkers to pretty much live forever if not killed and two because I think it’d be boring as hell if all they ever do is fight). I’m aware that killing people who look like actual people kinda makes the whole thing even worse but other than TWD I do need a happy ending and a possible cure.
> 
> I’m not good at describing fight scenes and I also don’t want the focus to be on that, the focus is on the boys and how they survive and at the same time grow closer to one another, there will be some of that stuff of course, but not in detail. Niall, Liam, Harry and Louis don’t die.
> 
> Also, I am not from North America and have only been there once for 1 day, so please bear with me, if I make really obvious mistakes I’d be happy if somebody would tell me, right now I’m only relying on google maps while writing and trying not to go into too much detail climate/surrounding wise!
> 
> <3


	2. Niall

“They’re three weeks old!“ Niall’s heart was beating almost as fast as it did whenever he was faced with one of the infected people, or yesterday, when Liam had been holding a gun to his head, having looked so ready to pull the trigger that the blonde had already seen his life flashing before his eyes. He was so terrified of being alone again, he would have actually rather been dead. “I swear, they’re just healing slowly, I’m not sick, they didn’t affect me, I think I’m immune, I-“

“Bullshit, nobody is fucking immune!” Liam was scary as hell whenever he was yelling and right now he seemed to be even angrier than yesterday. Niall wasn’t lying though but he had no idea how to make Liam believe him. When Harry had seen the bites on accident a few hours ago, the blonde had already thought that that was it, but Harry had kept quiet just for it all to go to shit. They weren’t going to allow Niall to go with them anymore, not with Liam in charge, there was just no way. “You saw it, Harry, you saw it before when he fell, didn’t you? And you didn’t say a fucking word, not even to Louis. You’d risk mine and Louis’ life for a stranger? What the fuck?!”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you were gonna react this way and I couldn’t tell Louis when you’re listening to every word we say!” By now, Niall’s back was pressed against the wall, he couldn’t have gotten further away from Liam if he had tried and he was too afraid to move just one muscle, let alone stand up. At least Harry seemed to believe him, Louis was just sitting there with his eyes still fixated on Niall’s arm that he saw no reason to cover. 

“Oh, sorry, maybe I should give you guys more privacy while protecting your ungrateful asses, huh?! I told you this would happen, I told you taking Niall with us would just make problems and it hasn’t even been a full day! He’s _infected_ , Harry, do you know what that means? Are you capable of grasping that concept or do you need to get attacked a few more times?” Now Liam was getting sarcastic and Niall would have hated him had he not known exactly why Liam was acting the way that he was. The way any sane person would have reacted. 

“He’s not sick though, the bites are clearly healing and he has no symptoms, he-“

“What do _you_ know about the symptoms?! You’ve just been sitting in that camp not doing anything, you never watched anybody getting bit and watched them getting worse and worse and I’m not gonna drag Niall along, waste our supplies on him and then eventually be forced to kill him anyways. He’s a walking time bomb!” Those words weren’t exactly new to Niall, he had heard them before, three weeks ago after he and the people he had been with had been attacked, in the middle of the night. 

The thing was, three weeks ago, Niall had also thought that he was going to die and he hadn’t actually put up a fight when they had left him behind, at least they had offered to kill him right away before leaving to save him from whatever happened to his mind once the disease would fully take over. So Niall had been on his own for three weeks, thinking he would die, but nothing had ever happened, he didn’t feel sick, the bites had started to heal and he had come to the conclusion that either not every bite necessarily lead to becoming like the infected or that he had to be immune. 

After all, those bites on his arms weren’t the only ones, he had more underneath his clothes, but showing them would have definitely not calmed Liam down right now, would it?

“He’s not just gonna become one of them over night though, we’d notice it happening, especially because he’s completely fine right now. What if he really is immune, Liam? Do you just wanna leave him behind and leave him to die knowing he could have had a shot with us?” No idea why Harry was defending Niall like this but the blonde really appreciated it because he himself was too afraid to say anything at all, his eyes following every single one of Liam’s movements. 

“Do I wanna leave him behind and be on the safe side and not risk all of us dying for a stranger? I think the answer to that is pretty fucking obvious. I can’t believe you, you would rather see your _boyfriend_ die than to leave this kid behind? This is absolutely crazy, why didn’t you just stay in that camp? If you care so little about your own life? I’m done with this shit, if two weeks out here didn’t make you realize how serious this situation is then nothing will. He’s not immune, nobody is.” With that, Liam simply turned around, getting down to stuff his things back into his backpack and Niall panicked. If Liam left, they’d never make it to Toronto.

“It’s been three weeks, people start showing symptoms after one day. I may not know everything about this disease and apparently you think you do, but I know the basics. And looking at his bites, he should already be one of them and yet he’s just sitting here looking completely fine.” Nobody else besides Liam was moving or packing their stuff, so that was a little bit of a relief, but Niall had to admit that he was slightly scared being left alone with the other two. Liam may be scary, but he still had made Niall feel safe at the same time. 

“He _says_ it’s been three weeks, of course he does, the people he has been with probably left him behind and that’s why he’s on his own. So that’s already one lie he told, I don’t trust him and I have absolutely no reason to. I told you something was up and that this was a dumb idea, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he made up that Toronto story as well just to give us a reason to take him with us. Being alone is shitty, I get that, but he’s not my problem, he isn’t any of our problem and I’m not gonna sit and wait for him to turn into a monster that _I_ will have to kill because none of you can do it without puking your guts out.” By now, Liam had already slung his backpack over his shoulder, tucking his gun into the back of his jeans and Niall seriously wanted to cry. 

“Are you seriously going to leave us here now?” Harry sounded shocked but he remained sitting for some reason and Louis had at least finally stopped staring at Niall’s bites, not moving either.

“I didn’t leave the camp to be a babysitter, I was nice enough to offer you guys to come with me and that offer is still up, but only without Niall. I’m not going to keep protecting you guys from infected and then just take one of them with us just for the fun of it, so yeah, I’m leaving. Louis, are you coming or staying?” For a moment, Niall thought Louis was actually gonna get up, that maybe he was so angry at Harry that he would actually leave with Liam. But then the moment passed and Louis simply shook his head, not saying a word though. “If you follow me, you’re gonna regret it.”

And that was it, he simply walked out to go wherever and Niall felt a tear spilling over, knowing that this was all his fault. If he had only been with them for longer than a day, Liam might have believed him about his bites being older, but he hadn’t even taken a proper look, just from across the room, having seen the healing wounds mixed with the fresh blood from Niall’s elbow. They were gonna die without Liam, without a map, with only a few knives.

“What a fucking jerk.” Harry was the first one who spoke up, he really seemed to mean it too, as if he didn’t even regret seeing Liam walking out on them. He soon would, once it was morning. 

“He kept us alive for two weeks though and he doesn’t even like us… “ Louis mumbled and Niall didn’t dare looking at him. Clearly, Louis’ opinion differed from Harry’s and the only reason he had stayed had probably been for his boyfriend. Which Niall understood of course, he still had no idea why Harry would risk his life for him.

“So? He was being an ass the whole time, he told us we would die soon at least once a day and he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He would have left us behind sooner or later anyways, at least he did it while we’re safe in here for now and not with infected crawling all over us.” That was true, but then again, Niall knew that Harry was speaking more out of anger than anything else. He didn’t know what had happened the past two weeks obviously, because his own past two, or actually three, weeks had just been hiding and crying and eating whatever he found. “We’re still gonna make it to Toronto, Niall can fight. Right?”

“Umm… a bit.” Niall wasn’t that good with his knife, another lie he had told Liam to be allowed to come, but he had definitely been out here longer than Harry and Louis and it was true that he had killed many infected. He didn’t wanna be alone, for nothing in this world, but he still felt like he needed to say something. “I… I really appreciate you sticking up for me, but… I understand if you’d rather go with Liam. It’s true what he said... about the others leaving me behind, they didn’t die, they just… they told me they could kill me if I wanted them to, to spare me from turning, but I was scared so… they said I couldn’t come with them and I stayed behind. I lied to you guys because I was afraid of what you might do if you saw the bites and I really didn’t wanna be alone anymore, but… it’s fine if you guys wanna go, I really get it, you don’t owe me anything.”

“Are the bites really three weeks old?” When Niall turned his head to look at Harry, the other boy’s eyes had gotten a bit harder, his face more serious, but when Niall nodded without hesitation, his facial expressions softened slightly. “Then there’s no reason to leave you behind. Right, Lou?”

“Yeah… I mean, I’m not happy about Liam leaving, but I agree that he would have left us at some point anyways. And your bites do look like they’re healing.” Louis had immediately backed off upon seeing the bites, but he came closer now and though Niall felt kinda uncomfortable, he moved his hand from having covered the wounds. 

“I, uh… “ Niall hesitated before continuing, swallowing hard before simply blurting out with it because he just wanted to get it over with. “I have more.”

“What?” Both Harry and Louis immediately looked up, the blonde felt their stares but the kept staring into his own lap, taking a deep breath before simply pulling up his shirt to reveal his stomach. Three more bites. “Oh my god… “

“But they, uh… they are more superficial than the ones on my arm, so… “ So they also looked a lot better, maybe if Liam had seen those, he wouldn’t have just stormed off. Or maybe it would have made him leave even more quickly. Liam really was unpredictable, Niall had realized that after only one day and yet he wasn’t angry at the boy, didn’t think he was an asshole or selfish. Clearly, Liam had been through more than Harry and Louis and they had even admitted that they didn’t know anything about him, so Niall didn’t think any of them had a right to judge Liam. Especially not when the world had ended and they could have all died at any given moment. 

“With that many bites, you would have had to become sick hours after it happened.” Neither of them seemed to regret their choice of staying while staring at Niall’s bites, if anything they actually sounded a lot calmer now that they had seen the ones that had healed a lot more quickly. “They probably won’t even leave a scar… imagine if you’re the only person immune to the virus.”

“I don’t think I’m the only one, if I really am immune.” And Niall really hoped he was and that he wasn’t just gonna have a late reaction or something, also for Harry’s and Louis’ sake. 

“Well, maybe a lot more people are immune but are immediately left behind or killed once they are bit so they will never even know.” This statement made Niall flinch a bit, having a flashback to when the woman he had met at the airport had begged him to kill her. Then again, she had been covered in bites and they had torn part of her leg out and… anyways, she probably wouldn’t have made it either ways. “The people who left you behind… are they on their way to Toronto?”

“Yeah, we all were. I was just hiding out in that house for a bit where you found me because I kinda needed a break.” Actually, Niall had been thinking about killing himself, ironically enough after finding out that he was possibly immune, but just the thought of having to be on his own, not knowing the way and infected trying to eat him with the great possibility of not finding anything in Toronto once he got there… “Liam took all the maps though.”

“We’ll find ourselves a new map, we’ll be fine.” Well, Harry sounded oddly positive, almost as if Liam leaving had brightened his mood or something, but soon that would pass, Niall was sure of it and he kinda hated that he was already afraid of stepping out of this house tomorrow morning without Liam there and having to not only keep himself alive but two other people. 

They all went to lie down fairly quickly, Niall had first watch because he wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep anyways, so he just sat up where Liam had had his stuff before, staring at Louis and Harry sleeping while holding hands and feeling oddly alone. He wasn’t sure anymore why Harry had stuck up for him, there was a part in him that wasn’t convinced they were all good people at heart. Not anymore.

Maybe Harry really did feel bad for him, but more so, it seemed that he had desperately been trying to stop being dependent on Liam. With Niall, who they all thought could fight well and defend himself and possibly others, Harry and Louis didn’t need Liam anymore. Or so they thought, because Niall wasn’t nowhere near as brave as Liam, who went into every single house without hesitation and put a knife into anyone’s head standing in his way, who had become so cold inside that he appeared to be fearless.

And Niall wasn’t fearless, not at all, he was actually scared to death. Those bites covering his body had become a problem twice now and once they looked more healed and people would actually believe that he was immune… let’s say, it was surely easier to find companions if you’re immune, especially with the prospect of getting help in Toronto where they might possibly even turn people down. But they surely wouldn’t turn down Niall and probably not the people he showed up with.

So yeah, Harry and Louis surely were nice people, but Niall didn’t know them and in the end, they all just wanted to survive somehow.

 

\-------------------

 

The next morning, Niall tried not to let his disappointment show when Liam really was nowhere to be seen anymore. He truly had simply taken off in the middle of the night just to get away from Niall, but there was no doubt in the blonde’s head that if only one of them would actually manage to get to where they were walking towards, it would be Liam. 

“I think we should stop walking out in the open so much, it makes me paranoid.” Niall carefully suggested after they had been walking pretty much in the middle of the road for an hour. It was different now that Liam was gone and Niall realized the burden the brunette had had to carry all this time, now it was Niall walking in the front by himself and Harry and Louis behind him.

“But at least if we’re out in the open, so is everyone else.” Louis was wrong but Niall didn’t wanna argue so he just agreed and kept walking, his heart beating too fast for simply walking down the street. They needed a new map, as soon as somehow possible. For now they were good, just walking straight ahead, but sooner or later they’d have to make a choice to take either turn and Niall wasn’t that good in geography that he would have trusted himself to make such a choice off the top of his head. 

“We need to search every house we see for a map and we also need more water before we run out.” It had happened to the last group Niall had been with and he had thought he’d die from dehydration. Which wasn’t unlikely at all, Niall was sure most people that had died since all of this had started had probably died from not having any food or water, plus, the virus itself didn’t appear to be deadly. But what did Niall know, right?

“Only problem is, every house that we’re gonna see, Liam will have been there before us.” Harry threw in and it was very true, Niall hadn’t considered this, they were all walking the same way for now at least. “Like, I don’t think he’d purposely wanna make things harder for us, but I’m sure he wouldn’t care if he did.”

“If we don’t find a map then we’re soon gonna be walking into the wrong direction anyways, so… “ Niall was terrified of that happening, like, doing all of this for nothing and even if there wasn’t anything in Toronto, at least it gave them something to do, a goal to work towards because the blonde would have gone insane otherwise. Not having any hope left made all of this awfully pointless and it almost seemed like that’s what Liam thought about all this. “Are we sure he isn’t just gonna go somewhere completely different?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. We’ll probably never find out, he’s hours ahead of us and we’ll probably never see him again anyways.” Right, apparently, this didn’t bother anybody as much as it bothered Niall, but that was probably mainly due to the fact that they hadn’t yet gotten into any life threatening situations. It’s not that Niall liked Liam, he was actually afraid of him, but then again, he also hadn’t really planned on kind of taking over for him and being responsible for the other two.

“Yeah… probably.” Actually, thinking about the future made Niall quite nervous so he stopped talking, barely listening to Harry’s and Louis’ conversation about the colleges they had attended. They were all so fucked.

 

\-----------

 

Niall had stopped thinking that any of this had been a good idea literally two minutes after they had decided to spread out once they had reached a smaller town, the other two convinced that they could handle themselves for a bit. To be fair, they had survived three days without Liam now and though they had almost died last night because the house they had been sleeping in had had a back entrance and an infected had walked in, Louis having fallen asleep during his watch, they were all fine for now.

Still, they hadn’t found a map and they were again low on water and food supplies, so they definitely needed to thoroughly search the town before moving on. They’d definitely be quicker doing that separately, but Niall had kinda agreed unwillingly, not only because he was afraid the other two might die, but also because he wasn’t sure if they’d come to his rescue if he really needed them. 

Niall was already on his own though so he had no time to think about that, he simply tried to be quick, holding his knife so tightly that his knuckles turned white, every corner feeling as if it was his last one. The first building he went into was a store and it was crawling with infected, the blonde barely managed to get out in time and close the door behind himself, hearing them banging on it behind him, giving him goosebumps as he hurried to move on. 

This wasn’t as easy as he had hoped and considering how small the town was, chances were they’d barely find anything at all.

It seemed that the people who had been living here had either taken most stuff with them or other groups had already found the place a while ago. Niall found a few band aids and medicine, a water bottle and three bags of crisps by the time he was almost done, his clothes covered in blood from having had to killed two infected. Great, now he also needed to try and find a new shirt or something because constantly being covered in dirt and blood made this whole thing even worse.

There were only a few more houses left and Niall’s backpack felt worryingly empty as he walked into the first one, trying not to think about Louis and Harry maybe already having gotten attacked. But they would have surely screamed for help, right? It was highly unlikely that both of them would have been unable to at least scream.

The building consisted of multiple flats, Niall tried to be quiet as he walked up the stairs, broken glass underneath his shoes and his own heart beating so hard he could barely concentrate or listen to anything else. He really wasn’t made for any of this.

It was obvious that somebody had been here, all cabinets and drawers had been opened in the first flat and the second looked much the same, making Niall wonder whether there was even a need to go into the others as well. But he had to, he didn’t wanna be a fucking baby or lie to Harry and Louis and they needed the supplies so he needed to just get it over with and suck it up, right?

When Niall was busy going through the third flat as quietly as possible, he suddenly heard a faint noise somewhere in one of the other rooms and he had spun around so fast that he almost dropped his knife. Shit, he should have checked the whole flat before, but he had kinda gotten a bit sloppy after not having found anything and wanting to be done as quickly as possible so he could go back to find Harry and Louis. 

Following the direction the sound had come from, Niall walked as slowly as possible, having to take a breath before turning around every corner to look inside the rooms, only to drop his knife for real this time when he reached the last one and saw somebody sitting on the floor and leaning against the opposite wall. 

“If I had been somebody else you’d be dead now.” It was Liam.

“I, uh… what are you doing here?” It was stupid, that Niall genuinely blushed as he collected the knife off of the floor, never having felt this relieved. 

“Sitting. Where are the others?” Liam didn’t sound aggressive or anything, he actually wasn’t even looking at Niall, he was just sitting there on the floor, staring at nothing at all, his voice calm and yet completely lifeless. How long had he been here? 

“Outside. We split so we could search the town more quickly… “ Niall explained carefully, not daring to move so he just stood there, with no plan what to say or how to react to finding Liam here, seemingly having given up. “Did you, um… did you clear all the flats and take all the supplies?”

“Yeah, I did it this morning.” Right. And then he had apparently decided to just sit down and not move anymore and honestly, Niall got it. “I’m impressed you’re all still alive. You especially.”

“I told you I’m immune. It’s been 24 days since I was bit.” Just because Niall suddenly felt a strange rush of confidence, he simply lifted his blood sprinkled shirt, showing off the other bites to Liam as well, the ones that were already about to fade away. “If you had stayed a bit longer I would have shown you these as well. They healed much better.”

“Huh.” Was all Liam made, seemingly not impressed at all and then he suddenly let out a quick laugh before shaking his head to himself, leaning it back against the wall and letting his eyes fall closed. What was up with him? “Tell the others I said hi.”

“Are you okay?” Niall ignored what Liam had said, slowly stepping into the room and looking around, his stomach tightening when he realized that it was a kid’s room, broken toys all over the floor. Why was Liam in here?

“Does it matter?” Actually, no, it didn’t, because none of them was okay anyways, it just seemed that something had happened to Liam, he was all calm somehow and talking to Niall as if he was a normal person or something. As if he hadn’t left them to die 3 days ago. 

“I don’t know… “ Shrugging, the blonde turned, feeling his body freeze when his eyes found the bed, something clearly lying underneath the blanket, the fabric having turned a deep red. “What… what’s underneath the blanket?”

“Do you really need me to tell you that?” Oh. 

“Did you… did you do it?” The thought of having to kill children made Niall shudder and it slowly dawned on him that maybe that was why Liam was in here, as if he never planned on getting up again, as if he didn’t see a point in doing so anymore. 

“I had to, they were infected, both of them. I don’t know if they were alone or why they were in here… the girl was only a toddler.” Liam’s face changed as he explained and Niall felt tears building in his eyes and he thought he saw Liam’s shimmer as well. But that had probably just been imagination. “It just makes me think, that everybody we kill could have a chance to be healed, but leaving them alive will only put the next person walking in here in danger. And if no one walks in here anymore, they’re going to die anyways.”

“It’s better if we kill them, I don’t think anybody would wanna be alive like that. Imagine being cured only to find out everyone you know is dead and that you infected a couple hundred people and probably ate parts of them as well.” Niall had seen it happening to multiple people, had heard them scream and he still did whenever he went to sleep. 

“Imagine a cure being invented but nobody left to be cured because we killed them all.” Equally as bad, Niall didn’t have anything left to say, all he knew was that he didn’t want Liam to stay here and just give up. 

“A lot of the infected die on their own, we only kill them out of self defense. If I… “ Niall started, looking away from Liam’s face, not quite sure how to say it. “If I really am immune and there is some sort of evacuation or whatever in Toronto… maybe I could help them find a cure. If they look at my blood or something.” 

“Maybe.” Liam shrugged, still unimpressed and unmoving, not even looking at the blonde. So Niall was forced to say it out loud.

“Come with us. We got this far, we can make it. If there’s nothing there then you can still give up.” He clearly was already on the way to giving up but something in Niall wasn’t capable of letting that happen. There was no way he could leave Liam behind, no way.

“We actually didn’t get that far at all, we weren’t supposed to even come through this town, it’s a set back. I stopped following the maps when I left, but you can have them now, I don’t need them anymore, I’m not going to Toronto.” Great. 

“Because of me?” Niall couldn’t help but ask, he had put his backpack down now because it was getting heavy despite the fact that he had barely put anything inside. But then again, he would have to carry that bag all day long, he might as well give himself a break. 

“No… it’s not about you. None of this was… I did think you were lying, but I just wanted to get away. I never wanted to leave as a group, I left the camp because I wanted to be on my own, I needed time to think and… well, it doesn’t matter why I left. I don’t see a point in going anywhere or making myself hopes.” Well, that was kind of a relief because it confirmed Niall’s thoughts about Liam a little bit, but also, it kinda made him feel as if nothing he said would ever convince the brunette.

“But what if there’s a chance that we could get back home? Even the slightest?” It was the only reason Niall kept going, to get back to his family and friends, because he couldn’t have survived thinking that they were all dead as well. Maybe he should have considered though that not everybody was driven by that hope.

“I don’t have a home to get back to.” Liam just said it like that and the blonde needed a second before realizing what Liam meant. Niall, Harry and Louis had all come here on their own, but what if Liam hadn’t? What if he had initially come with his family and what if… what if he was the only one left? 

“I… I’m sorry.” Niall really was sorry, he had no idea what had happened to Liam or his family or what the brunette had been through, all he knew was that without him, they’d be a lot weaker. “I really am. And I know it’s selfish to say that, but… we need your help. And I know you don’t like us, me the very least, and you don’t owe us anything, but I think you’d regret staying behind all by yourself, it’d be beneficial for all of us to stay together.”

“Are you already that tired of babysitting Harry and Louis?” Yes.

“It’s not about that, I mean… they’re not that great at self-defense and they don’t really take all of this too serious, but… they can learn, they just wanna survive and so do I. So do you or you wouldn’t still be here. All of this feels like a nightmare and like the end of the world, but… maybe it’s not. I don’t know what happened to you but really shitty things happened to me as well, I’m sorry you had to kill those kids and… I know that doesn’t make it any better, I just… I think you should come. I think we have a real chance and I don’t think it’s coincidence that I found you here, I-“

Niall was interrupted in his very pathetic speech of simply rambling on and on without getting to an actual point when there was a sound outside, as if a car was driving past or something. A sound Niall hadn’t heard in what seemed like forever.

Before the blonde could have actually gone to the window to check though, Liam had already jumped up, gun in his hand and his arm blocking Niall’s way. “No, stay away from the window.” 

This was a surprise to Niall, the fact that Liam was kind of… _protecting_ him, but he was too shocked by that car outside as to really think about it, doing what the brunette wanted him though while watching him creeping around the corner to look outside, gun grasped in his hand. Niall half expected something really bad to happen, his heart was beating terribly fast and all he could suddenly think was that Louis and Harry were done there somewhere. 

So naturally, the blonde was even more surprised when Liam suddenly stepped right in front of the window. “I can’t believe these idiots.”

“What?” Niall was still clueless, but he felt better when he saw Liam sighing, tucking his gun away into the back of his jeans as he turned around to look at the blonde.

“Louis and Harry found a working car. And apparently they wanna make sure any person in a few miles radius is gonna find us by not turning off the engine.” To be fair, Niall was kinda excited about these news, but he also knew Liam was right about the noise. They should have known better by now, but then again…

“If they’re making all the infected come here by making all that noise that means you can’t stay here.” Niall tried not to smile at that and he kinda succeeded but Liam still rolled his eyes at that, leaning down to pick up his things though and the blonde tried not to make himself too many hopes. “So, are you gonna come with us?”

Instead of answering, Liam simply walked past Niall and the blonde had to actually hurry to keep up with him, almost forgetting to grab his backpack. Not that that would have been too dramatic, he barely had anything left in there anyways. 

Liam let Niall walk out of the building before him though, his facial expression unreadable, so the blonde didn’t say anything, simply walked around the corner where Louis and Harry had parked the car, finally having turned the engine off.

“Hi, did you find any supplies?” Louis was still sitting in the driver’s seat, grinning at Niall from a rolled down window, not even commenting the fact that he had a freaking car.

“I found something better.” Niall announced, waiting for Liam to walk around the corner after him, kind of expecting the other two to be happier about it than they actually were. Well, Harry and Louis seemed to not have been half as worried as Niall during the past few days, so maybe they hadn’t actually wanted Liam to come back.

“Well, look who it is.” Harry stopped putting their things into the trunk, his facial expression kind of hard. “Suppose now that we have a car we’re suddenly good enough for you again?”

“Harry, stop it.” The blonde rolled his eyes, walking over to Harry to put his backpack into the car as well before looking at the other boy in hopes of making them forgive Liam like he hadn’t thought would even be necessary. “We need to stick together.”

“We were gonna stick together but then Liam left us to die.” God, this was gonna be harder than expected. 

“Leaving you to die requires for you to be alive. Which you were at the point I left, thanks to me.” Right, Liam wasn’t exactly making things any better right now. “Besides, I never said I would come with you, actually I came down here to tell you guys that this place will be crawling with infected soon if you don’t turn off the engine.”

At this, Harry and Louis exchanged a look and Niall shook his head at Liam, which the other boy only commented with a shrug of his shoulders. “Well, thanks for the advice, we gotta go. Niall, come on.”

“Guys, we’re not actually leaving Liam here, right?” Niall couldn’t believe it, he was actually watching Harry getting into the passenger seat next to Louis, waiting for him to drive off. “You just made a hell lot of noise and-“

“He said he doesn’t wanna come.” Louis shrugged, acting as cold as Liam had a few days ago and Niall wanted to slap them all across the face. They were maybe the only people alive and yet they were fighting in the middle of the street.

“I never said that.” True, Liam hadn’t, not to them anyways, and Niall realized that Liam wasn’t going to beg, he would probably be fine with staying here, but Niall wouldn’t be. Besides, they needed those maps.

“Give me your backpack.” Niall decided to take matters into his own hands, walking over to Liam and looking him dead in the eye, the brunette seemingly amused by this whole situation. It would have been amusing had Niall not been paranoid as hell. 

“Are you gonna rob me?” He did hand the backpack to Niall though and the blonde simply opened it, relieved to find the maps immediately before walking back to the car, throwing Liam’s backpack into the trunk before closing it.

“We got your stuff so if you wanna survive, you need to get into the car right now.” Anyways, wasn’t Niall kind of in charge now since Liam had left?

“Niall, he-“

“I know what he did, okay? But I don’t wanna die, I wanna get to Toronto and I want us all to live, so stop being a baby about it, we all know that Liam’s the most capable out of all of us. We need him.” With that, Niall opened the car door for Liam, not getting in himself though because he was afraid Louis would have just driven off otherwise, he sounded and also looked pretty pissed off at Niall. And so did Harry, who apparently was so mad that he couldn’t even speak anymore. “Liam, I don’t have all day.”

“When did you get so confident and bossy?” Liam genuinely let out a laugh before getting into the back of the car, very much to Niall’s relief. When had he gotten so confident and bossy? He wasn’t either of those things, but seeing Liam up in that building, sitting next to two dead kids he had had to kill and pretty much being ready to give up, admitting he had lost his family, had kind of made Niall less afraid of him. He knew Liam’s cold side was an act and he also knew that the brunette didn’t actually wanna die or he wouldn’t have suddenly changed his mind about coming as soon as he had seen that car. 

“Just know I hate you for this. And I haven’t forgiven him.” Harry made sure to tell them as soon as everyone had gotten in the car, but Louis did turn on the engine while Niall wordlessly handed the map to Liam upon realizing that he would have needed ages to figure out where they were, so maybe they weren’t that fucked after all. 

Just a little bit.

 

\----------------

 

The mood in the car was tense, but Niall didn’t care because he was suddenly pretty sure everything would be just fine. Of course it was dumb to think like that in the middle of an apocalypse, but he had genuinely thought that they would never see Liam again and that Niall would be the reason Louis and Harry died, and eventually the reason he himself died. It was comforting to have somebody there with such a strong survival instinct, even if Liam wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around.

Then again, he had been completely different a few days ago so maybe he had just needed a bit of time to himself to come around? That’s what Niall secretly told himself anyways, he wasn’t the type of person to seek out conflict, he would have rather everybody would just get along. It seemed though that nobody got along anymore, but he kept his mouth shut, staring out of the window and hoping that they would at least be on the road for a few more hours before the car would die. 

“Wrong turn, again.” At this point, Liam almost sounded amused. Actually, he had sounded pretty amused ever since they had all gotten into the car about an hour ago and to be fair, Louis really wasn’t the best driver. “Do you even have a license?”

“Excuse me for not having driven ever since I was home half a year ago, on the other side of the road.” The more Liam teased Louis, the worse his driving seemed to get and though they were definitely wasting gas at this point, Niall kinda wanted to laugh. Even if they would run out of gas at this point, they had driven far enough that they wouldn’t even fall behind schedule. If there even was something like a schedule, Liam was the one with the map and he hadn’t really shared his plan with them, he just gave directions. 

“How is that my problem?” Liam was definitely asking for it, it seemed he didn’t care anymore if he upset anyone, but he was still here so that was really all that mattered to Niall. They needed Liam and they all knew it. 

“Can’t you just give the map to Harry? It’s difficult to hear you when you’re sitting in the back.” A lie, clearly, both Harry and Louis absolutely hated that they had been walking into the wrong direction without Liam, that they possibly would have ended up going back instead of forward without him, it was impossible to overlook. 

“Nah, but you can let me drive and I’ll give the map to Niall.” Okay, what?

“Does your whole life revolve around wanting to be the leader or something?” Probably, but also, Niall wasn’t sure if he’d trust Harry and Louis to find the way if he was being quite honest. 

“Without me you’d be driving in the opposite direction, so yeah, I’d think I make the best leader out of all of us because my goal is to actually get us to Toronto rather than being butthurt over having to admit to myself that somebody else might be a better choice to make the calls here.” Though Liam sounded kinda arrogant saying all this, he was right and maybe that was exactly what set off Harry and Louis even more. 

“Who says that we’re even driving in the right direction? You could be telling me anything.” Louis had needed a moment before coming up with that and Niall was about to open his mouth and tell him that he could actually see that they were on the right way because he was sitting right next to Liam and the maps, but when his eyes met the brunette’s and he shook his head barely noticeably, the blonde shut his mouth without a second thought. 

“Guess you’ll just have to trust me.” This was a game to Liam, he actually smirked as he looked away from Niall again and the blonde felt the corners of his mouth twitch as he continued staring out of the window. It wasn’t a pretty sight and they had had to drive back and take a different route multiple times because the road had been blocked by abandoned cars or things like that. So sometimes, Niall would close his eyes and pretend that none of this was real, that he was back at home sitting in the passenger seat while one of his friends was driving them to uni. Would anything he had done at uni even matter anymore if he ever did get back home? Would his uni even still be there? His friends and family?

“I find it rather hard to trust somebody who walked out on us so easily and then came back for the same reason and expects to be forgiven instantly.” Liam had indeed left because of Niall and had somehow also decided to join them once more because of him, but who really knew what was going through Liam’s head anyways?

“I never asked you guys for forgiveness.” Was all Liam responded to that, studying the map when Niall stole a glance, very clearly not feeling any remorse. “I’m not sorry for leaving.”

There was a moment of silence after that and Niall was actually surprised when he was addressed directly by Harry. “You know that he just agreed to get into the car because he realized you really are immune and we all know our chances are a lot better showing up to Toronto with you, right, Niall?”

“I-“

“Kinda sounds like that’s the reason you stuck up for Niall in the first place.” It did and suddenly Niall felt a bit sick to his stomach. It’s not like he had thought they all were here because they liked him so much or something, but having the opposite confirmed did kinda hurt a little bit. At least that meant none of them wanted him to die, right?

“Shut up, Liam, I stuck up for him because you were being an ass to us the entire time and I was waiting for you to leave us behind every single day anyways.” Now Harry sounded even more aggressive, which maybe meant he wasn’t lying, but how would Niall have known anyways?

“You would have never said that to my face before though because you knew you needed me. And then you had Niall so it didn’t matter anymore, right? Because he would save your ass instead and now you’re trying to blame it all on me and pretend like you’re such a good person that sticks up for the weak and injured. Niall survived on his own for weeks, you guys almost died on the very first day if it hadn’t been for me and now you’re alive because I showed you how to fight and because you found yourselves a new bodyguard. Stop trying to make me look like the villain, both of you, why do you think Niall wanted me to come back? So he doesn’t have to babysit you guys on his own because it’s pretty damn hard, I would know. And for the record, I don’t give a shit if he’s immune or not, there’s nothing in Toronto and none of us will ever get back home, but if you need to actually get there to realize that then fine. I’ve got nothing better to do anyways.” Oh. 

There was dead silence after that speech, for at least five minutes or something and Louis almost crashed into a tree, but no one commented it anymore, Niall didn’t even dare looking away from his own hands. What Liam had said still didn’t explain why he was coming with them, actually, it was only making this whole thing more confusing. 

“Did you really want Liam to come so you wouldn’t have to be alone with us anymore?” It was Louis who asked, clearly directed towards Niall and the blonde felt blood rushing to his face as he struggled to find an answer. 

“I wanted him to come because I think we’re better off together and… I didn’t want him to stay behind because I know what it’s like to be alone.” And no matter what Liam said about having wanted it that way, Niall hadn’t believed him for a single second. In the end, they all wanted to belong to somewhere and also, Liam sitting in that kid’s room on the floor for a whole day had only confirmed what Niall had thought anyways. He wasn’t gonna say that though, not in front of the others. 

“So if we decide we don’t want him to come, you’d go with him instead?” What the hell?! 

“You can’t _kick_ him out, this isn’t some kinda game, we all just wanna survive and we have the best chances if all of us stick together, so stop saying that stuff.” And if Harry and Louis really would have told Liam to leave after all this, then yes, Niall would have gone with him, for multiple reasons he wasn’t quite sure about. The way Liam looked at him when their eyes met kinda told Niall that the brunette knew. “’m gonna take a nap, please try not to crash into any trees or cars.” 

The only one who commented that was Liam with a laugh, but that was pretty much the last thing Niall took notice of because he hadn’t even realized how exhausted he had been until he allowed his eyes to fall closed.

 

\-------------

 

When Niall woke up again, it was pitch black, the car wasn’t moving anymore and he almost panicked, jerking into an upright sitting position, his hand searching for his knife that he had kept with him in the back seat. 

“It’s fine, nothing happened.” It was Liam’s voice, though the blonde needed some time to calm himself down, his eyes having yet to get used to the darkness. Although it was actually too dark to really make out anything other than the other boy’s figure. 

“Where are the others?” Niall was completely disoriented, he must have slept for hours, his neck was hurting like hell, probably because of the position he had been in the whole time. Okay, why exactly were he and Liam all by themselves in the back of an unmoving car?

“They needed to pee and they wanted to check some cars over there to see if maybe they have more gas in them than ours, ‘cos we’re gonna have to walk again soon otherwise.” Wait… they were alone?

“You let them go by themselves, in the middle of the night?” Right, Liam definitely didn’t care anymore about Harry and Louis. 

“I gave them a flashlight and besides, they wanted it that way. Neither of them wanted to be alone with me, I didn’t wanna go alone because I’m sure they’d just driven off and somebody had to stay behind to watch the car. And you.” Oh. 

“You could have woken me.” Now Niall felt guilty, but also strangely flattered that Liam had kinda stayed here to keep watch all by himself, letting Niall sleep. 

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, Harry and Louis don’t wanna be apart and if you and me had gone outside I’m still 80% sure they would have left us behind. After everything you said before and convincing me to come.” Though Niall couldn’t see Liam’s face, he kinda knew that the brunette was again amused although he himself suddenly felt kinda guilty. He had been speaking the truth though and so had Liam, Niall got where Harry and Louis were coming from but if they didn’t realize just how serious all this was then what was Niall supposed to do? 

“I’m still not sure how I actually convinced you to come. Just a few days ago you looked ready to shoot me… what changed?” Maybe it was because Niall was still so tired and exhausted that he simply blurted out with his question. Who knew when he’d get the chance to be alone with Liam again and being in complete darkness kinda made it easier to talk about these things.

“You’re still alive and well, I guess… I genuinely thought you were lying about the bites being 3 weeks old and I… I didn’t wanna be the one having to kill you after dragging you along for no reason. But you’re very clearly alive and not sick and I guess I have nothing better to do than to get you guys to Toronto to show you that I am always right.” He was joking around now so Niall let him be, not asking about the infected kids anymore or about Liam’s family or what he had meant by not having a home to get back to. It was obvious he didn’t wanna have a serious talk right now and maybe never. 

“You wanna risk your life just to tell us that you told us so?” There had to be more to the whole thing than just that, but maybe it was what Liam was telling himself so he’d feel better about it. 

“I’m risking my life anyways, I might as well put it to some use.” Well, just a few hours ago Liam had pretty much told Niall he wanted to give up, so that change of heart still didn’t make a lot of sense to the blonde but he decided to just go with it.

“You mean as in seeing our faces when we find out that we’re all doomed and that there is no safe place anywhere in this world and that we’ll never get home?” It almost sounded like Liam was actually hoping that they would all be stuck here forever. 

“Not your face, because you actually take this serious.” Liam shrugged as far as Niall could tell and the blonde wanted to sigh because if the other two and Liam would keep up the fighting, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen. 

“Harry and Louis just… it’s not their fault they never had to fend for themselves, you know? They’re scared and they both know they need somebody to help them because they can’t do it themselves. We all don’t know each other that well, but they know each other so they’re sticking together, I get that. And at this point I don’t think that they can just give in and forgive you and actually realize that you’re our best shot.” They were just too proud for that, but then again, Niall didn’t know what happened before he had met them. Before Liam had held a gun to his head. “Even if they say they don’t trust you, they trusted you enough to not simply drive off with me in the backseat.”

“Louis took the keys and he locked us in, so… “ Oh. “Maybe you’re right, I don’t know and I don’t really care if I’m being honest. Nothing we do matters anymore.” 

“You don’t know that, you don’t know if there’s anything in Toronto or somewhere else or if we’ll ever get back home. And even if you’re trying not to make yourself any hopes, you gotta at least have a tiny bit of it left or you would have never agreed to come.” What other reason could Liam have anyways?

“If you say so.” He sounded pretty amused again and Niall rolled his eyes in the darkness, deciding that this conversation wasn’t going anywhere. At least Liam was here and willing to come with them, Niall really shouldn’t get greedy demanding answers as to why. 

They stayed quiet for a moment and Niall tried not to get too nervous thinking about Harry and Louis possibly already being dead. He had no idea where they had gone or where they even were because it was so bloody dark and if something had happened right now, they wouldn’t have even had a way of defending themselves. Not that any of the infected would have noticed them in here, but Niall was as afraid of normal people nowadays. 

“Can I ask you something?” The silence was driving the blonde insane and time was passing by too slowly for his liking.

“Depends.” Liam answered after a moment but at least he hadn’t said no, right?

“How old are you?” Niall had been wondering for a while, he felt like they were all about the same age maybe, but then again, he kinda always assumed that upon meeting people, so maybe he was completely off and Liam was fifteen years older than him or something. 

“That’s what you wanna know?” Liam laughed, quietly enough though so that Niall wouldn’t have to get nervous about anybody outside hearing them. “24.”

“Okay, then I wasn’t too far off. I thought maybe you’re like 30 years old or something, uh… not that you look like it.” They were all just kinda dirty and stuff and wearing strangers’ clothing that they had found, so who really knew, right? “I’m 22. In case you wanted to know or so, probably not… so Louis is actually older than you, I asked them like, two days ago.”

“He looks like it too.” It was a joke, clearly, and somehow Niall couldn’t help bursting out with laughter because they were alone anyways and Louis would never know. 

“Maybe… he started uni late or something, that’s why he’s still not graduated.” Or something like that, they had been talking when it had only been the three of them for a few days, but all Niall had really remembered was that Louis was 25 and Harry was 22 and the rest of the time the blonde hadn’t been paying a lot of attention because he had been focused on keeping an eye out for all of them.

“Well, if he’s as good of a student as he is a driver then I’m not surprised.” Though it was mean, Niall kinda enjoyed Liam joking around like that, as if they were friends or something.

He would have had a million more questions to ask Liam if Harry and Louis hadn’t come back minutes later, looking a bit rough but otherwise healthy and not as if anything had happened. They would have probably yelled out for help though, right?

Thing was, they simply got back into the car, this time with Harry in the driver’s seat and none of them spoke a word. Right, was this revenge or something? Were they just gonna ignore Niall and Liam now?

“So… find anything?” Niall asked after a moment because it had gotten awkward and also, he was curious. 

“Nope.” Was all Louis answered right when the car started moving again and Niall already had his mouth open to ask something else but the other boy was faster. “We’re gonna run out of gas in a few hours.”

“Um, maybe we shouldn’t drive at night then and find somewhere to sleep?” This was stupid, why were driving now if they had no gas left? 

“You guys can sleep, I’ll stay awake and drive, we’re only following that street anyways.” Harry didn’t seem to mind staying awake but Niall still thought that it was a bad idea and he would have shared a look with Liam had he actually been able to make out his face. The brunette stayed quiet though, apparently not caring whatever the other two decided to do. 

“What’s the point in driving at night?” Not only was it more dangerous, but also one of them would be tired as hell tomorrow morning. Well, to be fair, one of them would have to be awake anyways.

“The point is that nobody is gonna steal the keys and just drive off while we’re sleeping.” Right, nobody as in Liam. 

Niall stopped asking after that, he simply put his head back against the window and let his eyes drop closed again, seeing as nobody was talking to each other anymore anyways. They might have hated each other, but they were still a team, right? A team that had the chances of actually getting to Toronto and possibly to safety. 

 

\--------------------

 

Hours passed of Niall falling in and out of sleep and at some point it got lighter outside and then eventually, Harry stopped the car in the middle of the street. Niall seemed to be the only one awake besides Harry, but he didn’t say anything at first, he just waited for a moment, looking out of the window and then next to him where Liam had fallen asleep in what looked like the least comfortable position ever. His hand still wrapped around his knife. 

“Are we out of gas?” Niall half whispered, seemingly startling Harry a bit. 

“Wha- yeah. At least it’s light outside.” True, but that was really the only good thing about this situation because there were no other cars anywhere near them and also no houses and what Harry said next didn’t exactly make things better. “I have no idea where we are.”

“Didn’t you just follow the street?” Honestly, was there even a need to get upset anymore?

“I was, but… the street was blocked at some point and… but I drove in the right direction. I think.” So they could have driven back for all they knew, amazing. “Liam will figure it out, he seems to know everything better than us anyways.”

“He saved your life. More than once.” Niall reminded the other boy but all he got was a shrug and then they fell back into a silence, neither of them making a move to wake Liam or Louis. 

Maybe Niall had allowed himself to relax too soon after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :)
> 
> Hope you've all had a nice week! Thank you so much for the lovely feedback and the kudos, I'm still nervous about this fic but I'm so happy so many of you decided to give it a chance :D I had a lot more fun writing this new chapter than the first one and I think I'm slowly growing more comfortable with the idea, so I hope you guys enjoyed it as well & I'd love to know what you thought of it! 
> 
> <3


	3. The Barn

“Is this an actual joke?!“ Liam honestly couldn’t believe it, he wanted to punch Harry in the face equally as much as he just wanted to get out of the car and leave once more, just walk away from these people and never look back. “You fucking idiot, you actually wanna die, don’t you?“

“Liam-“

“No, shut up, Niall. Honestly, I can’t deal with this anymore, he just _wasted_ all the gas in this damn car to drive into the wrong direction?! I mean… we’re further away from Toronto now than when we found Niall, you’re aware of that, right, Harry? I mean, can you even read?!” An unnecessary question, because clearly, he couldn’t.

“Um, what was I supposed to read?! You had the maps and you fell asleep five minutes after I started the car!” True, but he could have woken Liam or something?! Or just let him drive or just NOT drive during the night and… fuck.

“Oh, I don’t know, Harry, maybe actual street signs?!” This was really the last straw, Liam couldn’t take this stupidity anymore. Yesterday when he had seen Niall, alive and well, he had thought for just a moment that maybe he should actually go with them, that after spending three days by himself and sitting in that room all day next to the dead bodies of two kids that he had had to kill, Niall randomly stumbling into the room had kinda been a sign or something. 

Also, after having had time to think and be on his own, Liam’s outlook on this whole thing had shifted a bit. He had felt guilty for leaving, of course, and he had hated himself for having felt relief upon finding out that they were all still alive. But then Harry and Louis had started acting like bratty children and Liam just couldn’t do it anymore. Though a few days ago he had wanted to shoot Niall, right now the blonde was the only one Liam didn’t actually wanna physically hurt.

“I have NO idea about where anything is, I’m not from here, okay?! I’m sorry, what else do you want me to say? I can’t change it, I honestly thought I was going into the right direction, you know how many streets are blocked, I had to even go back a few times. And no, I don’t want to die, I didn’t do this on purpose. Besides, you never even wanted to go to Toronto, so why- what the hell?!”

Liam had simply opened the door of the car and gotten out, walking around it to get to the trunk and get his stuff. He was going to say things he’d regret or he’d simply waste his breath for Harry because he wasn’t ever gonna get it anyways. 

“Liam, please, don’t!” Niall had gotten out of the car immediately after him, but Liam had already grabbed his stuff and started walking down the street, into the right direction this time. Harry had honestly driven them to fucking Texas. “Wait!”

The thing was, Liam didn’t even care if they were following him or not, he wasn’t even walking fast or anything, he just needed to get away from this conversation and stop wasting their damn time arguing. Honestly, he didn’t really know why he was here or why he was helping these boys. Maybe because he genuinely had nothing better to do, or maybe because realizing that Niall was actually immune to the virus and spending three days on his own thinking he’d die the next hadn’t been like Liam had thought being on his own would be like.

Especially not after the last thing Liam had wanted to happen had happened. He hadn’t spoken to anyone in that camp on purpose, he hadn’t wanted to get to know anybody because he had expected all of them to die any day really. But now he knew these three boys and even if he left, he’d always wonder if they were alive, he’d always wonder whether they would have made it if he had stayed with them. 

So yeah, Liam was here out of guilt, but also because he was selfish. And a little tiny bit because Niall would have probably followed him to the end of the world.

“Are you walking into the right direction this time?” Niall had easily caught up to Liam and the other two probably weren’t far behind, not that they could have lost sight of them anyways.

“Maybe.” Liam was still pissed off, he knew he shouldn’t have let Harry drive through the night, but honestly… Texas?!

“Okay.” The other boy said after a moment of hesitation, falling into pace with Liam and the brunette wasn’t really surprised but he was still a little confused. 

“What, you don’t even care? You’re just gonna follow me?” Apparently he was.

“I guess. I’ve got no map, so I wouldn’t know where to go anyways.” Well, that was true. “I trust you.”

“Don’t.” For a second, Liam actually thought about lying and telling Niall that he wasn’t going into the right direction, just to see what the blonde would do, if he would turn around or throw a fit. But deep down, Liam actually knew that Niall would have done neither of those things and would have simply kept walking next to him anyways. 

“But I do and you can’t tell me not to. We’re so far away now from where we wanna go, I don’t think one day matters even if you were purposely walking into the wrong direction. I’m sure eventually you’d feel bad.” True, but how had Niall figured that out? “Besides, I won’t let you walk away anymore.”

“Harry and Louis would be happy if you did.” Liam refused to turn around though he was curious as to whether the other two had simply stayed behind or whether they were following them after all. 

“I don’t think so, they’re behind us, looking like they’re planning on how to get close enough to get a knife into your back.” Sounded like them.

“And if they weren’t behind us?” It had taken Liam a second to ask this question, but he kinda wanted to know and he didn’t even know why. 

“Then what?” Either Niall was pretending not to get it or he just wanted to force Liam to say it out loud. Fair enough.

“Where would you be then?” Niall had gotten out of that car so quickly after Liam that he couldn’t have even been watching Louis and Harry or waiting on them. 

“There’s no way they’d make it on their own and they know it, so they wouldn’t have ever just let us walk away and-“

“That doesn’t answer the question though.” Though Liam told himself he didn’t care one bit, he still threw a look at Niall’s face, only to realize that the other boy’s cheeks had gotten pink. Probably from the sun. 

“I mean… I guess I’d still follow you. You’ve got the maps and also… Harry and Louis stuck up for me but I don’t know if they only did it so they could get rid of you or if they think being with someone who is immune is gonna help them and… anyways, they can make their own decisions and so can I. And I know that we won’t get to Toronto without you and if there’s just the tiniest chance that I could get back home then… I have to take it.” Niall seemed to genuinely have hopes that he would get back home somehow and actually Liam wasn’t sure if he wanted to be there to see him lose hope once they had reached their goal. But it seemed like he had no choice and also… well, maybe Liam was 99% sure that they were all doomed, but that 1% wouldn’t leave him any rest. “Harry and Louis will calm down eventually.”

“I don’t care, we’re not a team or friends, I won’t stop you guys from following me but I’m gonna do this my way and if we find another car, I’ll be the only one driving it.” This was only fair, like, Harry had no sense of direction, Louis couldn’t drive and Niall, well, he seemed very willing to do whatever Liam told him to anyways. 

“I’m good with that.” Niall almost sounded a bit too eager so Liam stopped talking, kinda a little bit annoyed that Niall seemed to be so attached to him already and that he didn’t seem to be afraid of him anymore, but then again, did Liam want people to be afraid of him? No, he actually just wanted everyone to shut up and do it his way because the others seemed unable to do anything on their own. And in all honesty, it was Louis and Niall who Harry should have apologized to in the first place, not Liam. 

Liam and Niall walked next to each other in silence for a few minutes, the other two apparently didn’t wanna catch up to them but they were still following them when Liam managed to throw a look back while pretending to be checking their surroundings. They really were fucked, there were no houses or cars and at least it wasn’t a hot time of year or they would have probably died even though it seemed to only be early in the morning.

“What did you do before all this?” Niall just asked out of nowhere, almost startling Liam a little bit because he had been busy studying the map some more. Harry and Louis would have never let him live a mistake down. 

“What?” Liam was confused, more so about what Niall was talking about than the fact that the blonde even wanted to talk about those kinda things in the first place. 

“Like, did you go to uni or have you already graduated or did you have a job or… “ He seemed to run out of things to say then and Liam almost wanted to make a dumb comment but Niall asking him those things now didn’t bother him as much anymore as it would have a couple of days ago.

“I was a teacher, but only since half a year.” Liam didn’t wanna think back to it though, it’s not that the memories were unpleasant because they weren’t at all, it’s just… all of this was gone and he was on another continent in the middle of an apocalypse. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I was just wondering is all. And it’s pretty boring just walking without talking, I’ve done a lot of not talking during the past few weeks… we’ll spend a lot of time together so I thought we should get to know each other.” Great.

“Maybe you should start with Harry and Louis first.” And do it really slowly.

“I don’t think they wanna talk to me right now actually, they keep glaring at me whenever I turn around. Also, I was alone with them for three days, I heard all of their conversations and I feel like I know them better than I should by now. But… I don’t know anything about you and neither do the other two even though you’ve known each other since months apparently.” Niall made it sound like that was a big thing and Liam had a LOT to say about that but he knew that that would have simply sparked the other boy’s interest even more so he decided not to go down that road.

“I don’t really see a point in talking about what happened before all this. It’s all gone and living in the past is not gonna change anything.” Okay, maybe Liam could have tried to be a bit more positive, but what for? Talking about the past just made things harder, even if Niall seemed to think the opposite. “It just makes it harder to accept all this.”

“I don’t wanna accept it, I know this isn’t the end and if we spend another month together, I wanna know stuff about you.” Having Niall actually put a number on the time they would need to get to where they wanted to go made all this a little harder. Especially because they’d definitely need more than a month.

“This isn’t me though, I’m not a teacher anymore and I’m none of the things I was a few months ago. None of us are and even if we do magically survive, are you just gonna be able to forget and move on? Just forget that you killed probably over a hundred people by the time we finally get to Toronto? A few of us might actually be dead by then, probably not me and you, but… it’s all nice thinking about a future, but we can’t just walk away from this, maybe ever, even if we did get back home, so I don’t really see a point in discussing a career I had that I’ll never go back to.” Sure, Liam would have, in a heartbeat, but there was nothing to go back to and he seemed to be the only one aware of that. “At some point you’ll have to accept it, whether you want to or not.”

At least that seemed to have shut Niall up, maybe Liam had been too harsh referring to how many infected Niall had already killed, but he hadn’t lied after all. And if Harry and Louis couldn’t take any of this serious, it would have been good if somebody else besides Liam actually realized that what they were doing here was a complete waste of time.

Not that that was going to happen because Niall was just too positive about this whole situation and Liam actually felt kinda bad for him whenever he thought about the moment the blonde would finally have to realize that he would never see his family again. It was different than with Harry and Louis, Liam knew that they obviously wanted to get back home as well but they at least had each other in all this mess. Whereas Niall… he had not only been left behind by his last group but he had also set off a pretty big fight with the other two by convincing Liam to go with them just because he was so desperate to actually reach their goal.

In short, everything that Liam had been trying to avoid had happened, but then again, he wasn’t sure anymore what he actually wanted and maybe having some kinda task to do wasn’t the worst thing in the world, even if Harry and Louis were getting onto his very last nerve most of the time. 

Niall let himself fall back slightly, which Liam didn’t actually appreciate but he told himself that he didn’t care, keeping himself from looking back to check on the other three even when he kinda wanted to. They would have screamed if something had happened.

But nothing happened pretty much all day long, it really did seem like they were the last people on earth and it was only when Liam felt himself getting slightly worried about having to sleep out in the open that Niall caught up with him once more, startling him so much that he almost dropped the map.

“H- oh, sorry. But look.” They didn’t stop, but Liam looked into the direction Niall was pointing into, his first reaction being that he wanted to ignore it. “Do you think there’s other people there?”

“It looks like it… “ There was a small barn, a bit too far away for Liam to really see it clearly, but he knew what Niall meant. Somebody had started a fire, a small one, but it was barely noticeable in the distance. 

“Maybe we should go and check it out, I mean… once it gets dark we’re screwed.” He was right, but Liam hated it. Not because he didn’t want Niall to be right specifically but because he wanted to avoid other people as much as somehow possible. There were just too many ways that all this could go wrong. 

“We’ll find another one, an empty one.” Liam tried to convince the blonde, at the same time though knowing that what he was saying was a plain lie.

“What if we don’t? And maybe they have some water, I only got half a bottle left.” Great. 

“If we don’t then we’ll just have to be careful.” Super careful and then they’d probably die.

“How much water do you have left then?” Okay, Niall was looking right through Liam and the brunette hated it, so he refused to answer, throwing another look at the barn and then at the road ahead of them before simply starting to walk towards the barn. This was a shit idea. 

“Put the maps in your backpack, no word about Toronto or your bites.” This was the most important part, Liam handed the maps to Niall while throwing a look back at Harry and Louis, who had stopped walking upon seeing Niall and Liam straying off the road, but they did follow them eventually. 

“Why don’t you put the maps into your own backpack?” While Niall was asking, he was already doing what he had been told though, slowing down a bit while opening his backpack so Liam did the same, kinda automatically.

“Because I can’t be bothered to take it off.” Liam laughed shortly, not really having expected the look Niall threw at him, rolling his eyes so dramatically that it was obvious that he actually didn’t even care. “Go and tell Louis and Harry that they need to keep their mouths shut if there really are other people.”

“You go and tell them.” Niall almost immediately shot back and now it was Liam’s turn to roll his eyes.

“I would, but if I do it then you can bet they will do the complete opposite just to piss me off.” Even if it’d get them all into danger, Liam was sure of it. 

“Fine.” Though he sighed, Niall walked back to the other two and Liam didn’t watch him do it because he was busy keeping an eye on the barn, watching out for any movements and thinking about a quick story to tell these people just in case. 

Liam hadn’t expected him to, but Niall did catch up with him again a few minutes later. He had heard him talk with Harry and Louis behind him, but they had let themselves fall back so far behind that he hadn’t been able to make out anything they had said. This whole constellation would have looked weird to anybody already, but there was nothing Liam could have done about it.

“They said that they would say whatever the hell they want and you need to get your head out of your ass.” Amazing. “Sorry, I tried and then they got mad at me as well.”

“They actually have a death wish, don’t they?” This was insane, like, not that Liam would have expected anything else, but the longer this feud went on, the more he actually wasn’t even sure anymore whether he’d save any of these peoples’ lives if it came down to it. Well, Niall’s probably, but he wouldn’t need Liam to save his life. “If they start talking about your bites then you need to think of something. Nobody can know.”

“Why not? Don’t you think it’d make people like us more?” Is that what Niall had thought the whole time? 

“No? Did you forget what I did when I saw them?” Honestly, Liam actually still wasn’t 100% convinced, but he had known Niall for way longer now than anybody he had ever known had stayed without any symptoms after being bit. And he had been bitten 5 times, they would have had to show even faster, probably within a few hours, at least in Liam’s experience.

“No, but they’re healing more each day, and I just thought-“

“Just keep them hidden, okay? If it doesn’t make people wanna kill you, it surely isn’t gonna make them wanna let us stay with them over night.” Also, it might go completely differently and then these people would wanna come with them as well and Liam couldn’t possibly take that. The larger their group got the more opinions there were and the more food and water they needed and the less they could all trust each other. “And we’ve never heard about Toronto before, we have accents, we aren’t from here, we’re just walking.”

“Well, we _are_. Do you want us to use fake names as well if they ask us?” Now Niall was making fun of him so Liam didn’t respond anymore, they were getting close and he still hadn’t seen anybody, but there definitely was a fire burning, a small one, as if somebody had been cooking something over it or so. 

“Just try to look friendly and like you haven’t had anything to eat in a few days.” This wasn’t gonna work, Liam knew it and yet he kept walking, trying to calm himself down and kinda wishing Louis and Harry would stop being idiots for just a few minutes and catch up with them so this wouldn’t look stranger than it already did.

Walking up to the barn, Liam would have thought those people were really stupid for letting it burn like that without watching it if there hadn’t been somebody walking around the barn right before they had been about to walk up to it. Some guy with a gun that caused Niall to stumble into Liam almost at an instant. 

“What do you want?” They had already stopped walking, so maybe that’s why he didn’t say anything about that and they clearly weren’t holding any weapons though Liam could have gotten to his any second if necessary. 

“We’re just looking for a place to spend the night.” Liam tried to sound friendly and all, as if he was scared so that that guy would have sympathy for them. He surely would if he looked at Niall because the blonde was suddenly standing so close to Liam that he was brushing against him. 

“What about those two back there? What are they doing?” The man sounded harsh, but not really as if he wanted to shoot them or anything and Liam had been prepared for this question because it had been inevitable. 

“They’re our friends. We’ve been walking for weeks and they’re tired.” Well, technically that wasn’t a lie, was it? And then also, why would it matter if Liam had lied? “Please, we just don’t wanna be out here when it gets dark.” 

“Why? There’s nobody around.” Liam didn’t know what the man meant with that, whether he was talking about infected or normal people, but he probably meant both because they surely hadn’t met anybody ever since they had been forced to abandon the car. 

“It’s still dangerous and we won’t be a bother. But we’ll leave if you want us to.” Maybe they should have, maybe they should have never actually walked up to this barn and Liam kinda hated himself for it, but then he saw the man sigh and lower his gun. A stupid move, really, Liam certainly wouldn’t have done it in his position, but maybe they really did look rough.

Liam hadn’t looked into a mirror in ages, but he could see why people would look at Niall and start to feel bad. Maybe also Harry and Louis, but he was slightly biased after that car ride. 

“You can stay, but only for the night. And you ain’t getting any of my food.” Fair enough. 

“Thank you so much, really, we’ll leave once it’s light outside.” Liam really did mean it though he was a bit vary that somebody would just trust them like this. Then again, what could this man have in mind? 

Niall visibly relaxed next to Liam once the stranger had completely put away his gun and huffed in agreement, seemingly annoyed with them but apparently not as much of an asshole as Liam himself had become. “Keep to the right side inside and don’t touch my stuff.”

“Thank you.” Liam repeated, trying to sound as honest as possible. He didn’t get an answer though, the stranger simply went to the fire he had made with a food can and Liam briefly contemplated waiting for Harry and Louis, but then he didn’t because they were almost there anyways.

“Aren’t we gonna wait?” For some reason, Niall was whispering as he followed Liam to the barn, the brunette trying not to relax too soon because he had no idea if maybe there were other people there as well. But there weren’t.

“They may be dumb but not blind.” As far as Liam was concerned at least.

“They aren’t THAT dumb, you know, they-“

“Niall, just drop it, okay? You don’t need to keep on trying to change anything about this situation, there’s no fucking use, and frankly, I don’t really care about it either.” Literally, there was nothing Louis and Harry could have done to change Liam’s mind now because he simply didn’t give a fuck anymore. “Don’t speak to this guy outside.”

“Why not? He seemed alright.” They had entered the barn now and Liam was relieved to see that the stranger outside had barely put any stuff inside, meaning that he was probably really on his own. This was good, if things turned bad Liam could have easily taken him.

“Because I said so.” Niall clearly rolled his eyes when he went to sit down against the wall but he didn’t question Liam’s order, which was exactly why Liam was having trouble trying not to care about him. The blonde very obviously trusted him and he would have blindly followed Liam to anywhere, which didn’t particularly mean that he was good at making decisions, he was just lucky Liam actually had his best interest in mind. 

Liam heard voices outside, Harry and Louis talking to that stranger, but he seemed to keep it brief with them as well because they entered shortly after, right when Liam was taking the maps Niall had gotten out of his backpack for him. He didn’t think that guy out there would care what they were doing, and if he did, Liam would simply lie, but he definitely needed to plan a new route for them, not really having had time this morning. Also, there hadn’t been a lot of options. 

“So, we’re just trusting this random guy all of a sudden?” Of course Harry had a lot to say about that so Liam simply ignored him. 

“I mean… he seemed alright. And we can’t be outside when it’s dark and we don’t have that many options. Also, we’re four and he’s alone.” Niall almost immediately jumped in though the question had clearly been directed towards Liam. The younger boy was sitting a bit too close for Liam’s liking but the brunette decided to let him, just because it didn’t really matter. 

“I was just asking because usually when we meet strangers Liam wants to kill them on first sight.” He was asking for it and yes, Liam was itching to fire something back but instead he kept pretending that everyone was nothing but thin air. “And how come Liam never lets us make a fire but that guy is just out here and-“

“Because people, normal and infected, could see the fire over distances because of the smoke, but it seems that guy doesn’t care about that.” Though the blonde explained it rather friendly, Liam didn’t need to see the others’ faces to know that they were annoyed about once again showing how little experience they had. “I think we’ll be okay for the night, we don’t have anything worth stealing anyways and no one can get in here if we barricade the doors later.”

“We should have kept walking, the sun is only just setting, we’re wasting time.” Well, whose fault was that?

“Haz, it’s fine, we shouldn’t walk at night. We should eat something.” At least Louis seemed to have enough of the fighting for now and though he and Harry sat down kinda far away from Niall and Liam, the barn was rather small so they were still too close for the brunette’s liking. 

So the others all ate while Liam kept studying the maps, Niall chewing a bit too noisily in his ear but Liam didn’t necessarily wanna start a fight with him as well so he said nothing about it and tried his best to ignore it. They had so much walking and so many days ahead of them that Liam could have honestly puked his guts out. Well, he would have, if he had actually had something in his stomach. 

It was obvious when it got dark outside because Liam had to stop looking at the maps, deciding not to eat anything though because he had almost nothing left. He watched Niall taking the tiniest sip of water from his bottle and Harry and Louis each having eaten a granola bar. If they didn’t find any supplies soon then all of this would have been for nothing. 

“Do you hear that?” Niall suddenly whispered, none of them had talked really, but if Liam tried hard then he could hear the faint voices from outside the blonde was referring to, his eyes getting wide when he looked at Liam. “He’s not alone.”

“Sh.” Liam put a finger to his lips, also looking at Harry and Louis to make them understand and just for once, they didn’t try to fight it.

“…people in the barn… what was I supposed to do?... ignore ‘em… “

“… could wanna rob u-“

“… harmless, just let ‘em be… “

Then the voices stopped and Liam relaxed a little bit, but he kept his hand around his gun anyways, just to be safe because he had only heard fractions of a conversation and he had no idea what was going to happen next.

When somebody entered, Liam felt Niall’s fingers grabbing onto his shirt as if it made him feel better or safer or something, and the brunette was a bit too distracted to care or notice. It was a different guy than the one outside, carrying a knife and a backpack that looked pretty heavy and filled to the rim. Much the opposite of Liam’s.

“I don’t know what you guys are doing here but if you try anything then you’re all dead faster than you can blink.” Sounded reasonable, Liam saw Niall nodding from the corner of his eyes, a bit too readily maybe. That boy may have known how to survive, but he really wasn’t the bravest, was he? “If it had been up to me, you would have kept walking, but I wasn’t here, so… “

“We’re not gonna cause any trouble, we just don’t wanna be outside at night.” Liam explained, but the guy didn’t seem to care anyways, he simply put his backpack down on the other side of the barn, counting his supplies or whatever, seeing as he had so many. Though Liam would have loved to know where he had found them, he knew better not to ask, but it seemed he was the only one able to control himself.

“Where’d you get so much stuff from? This area is dead empty.” Louis simply spoke up, as if they were all friends or something.

“None of your business. I’m surprised you’re not dead yet, none of you seem very capable, I can see why my friend sees no harm in you guys. Just keep it down and stop asking me questions.” Good, he had shut Louis down, Liam was relieved, he really was waiting for the moment Harry or Louis would just blurt out with Niall’s immunity or Toronto or something equally as risky. 

They were all thinking the same thing right now and Liam knew it, so he refused to look at anybody because YES, he was aware that that guy sounded exactly like he sounded a lot of the time. Then again, maybe this was good because it showed them that they were the only ones who were naïve enough to trust every single stranger that they met. 

“Should we leave?” Niall was whispering, so quietly that Liam almost hadn’t heard him, kinda confused by that question so he just shook his head at the blonde, only now realizing that he still had his fingers curled around Liam’s clothes, so the brunette moved a bit until Niall let go of him, seemingly embarrassed. Whatever.

It got even more awkward now that that stranger was in here as well, but he didn’t seem to pay them any attention and eventually, he went to lie down just like Harry and Louis a while before him, Liam still sitting up, not trusting this situation enough to go to sleep, especially not with that other guy still outside doing god knew what. Hopefully he had put out the fire by now.

“I can keep watch.” The blonde suggested out of nowhere, probably because everyone else had gone to sleep or was at least trying to. 

“No.” Was all Liam said though he appreciated the offer, kind of. “You should use the time and sleep.”

“I’ll try.” The younger boy clearly had a problem going to sleep at night, it hadn’t been hard to figure that out, but he wasn’t the only one with that problem.

Hours might have passed by, Liam had no idea, he kinda felt like it was safe to use the flashlight to study the maps some more now that everyone was asleep and also because it kept him from getting tired. What helped even more with that though was Niall’s head dropping onto his shoulder all of a sudden, almost making him jump.

It had clearly been on accident, there was no way Niall would have done that had he been awake and Liam was about to shake him and tell him to just lie down when he thought about how long it must have taken the blonde to finally fall asleep. Well, Liam would probably survive it for the night, he was probably going to move at some point again anyways, for now it didn’t bother the brunette too much. Only a little bit.

The other guy from outside came inside at some point, not saying anything to Liam though, simply barricading the door before lying down somewhere next to his friend, neither of them worried about Liam and the others being here apparently. Maybe they really did look that harmless, especially after everyone but Liam had gone to sleep, but at least that meant that there was less of a reason for him to worry.

Liam was still studying the maps when he was sure it was already getting light outside and Niall still hadn’t moved a single bit, but it was actually Harry’s voice that startled him in the end though he was whispering. “How come you have such a soft spot for Niall all of a sudden?”

“What?” Right, this was not the kinda conversation Liam wanted to have, not now and not ever and especially not with Harry. 

“You heard what I said.” God.

“What do you want from me? Just go back to sleep, we gotta walk the whole day tomorrow.” Liam tried to sound harsh and confident, but in reality, he wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to react to this situation. And he didn’t wanna push Niall off his shoulder. 

“I was just asking a simple question is all. You wanted to kill him a few days ago and now you’re best friends and you’re letting him sleep on your shoulder.” What?

“Are you jealous?” Liam asked sarcastically, finally turning off the flashlight to save some of the battery but also because he didn’t want Harry to see his face anymore, or Niall sleeping on his shoulder.

“So you agree? You suddenly like him?” No idea what this was about or what Harry seemed to want to get Liam to say. “Or are you just helping us because he’s immune and you think it gives you better chances to survive if we get to Toronto?”

“No.” To all of the questions, although it might have been a lie. 

“No, you don’t like him or no, you-“

“Sh. Did you hear that?” Liam wasn’t joking around anymore now, there had been a noise outside, which might have been an animal or Liam’s imagination, but maybe it hadn’t been. 

“No. Are you trying to change the subject?” They were still whispering, but it was too loud for Liam’s liking because there was yet another sound and this time, he heard Harry sitting up within the second. “What was that?”

“There’s somebody outside. Stay down.” Niall sleeping on Liam’s shoulder was very inconvenient now, Liam tried to be somewhat gentle when he moved, making sure Niall’s head at least didn’t smash on the ground before getting up as quietly as possible.

Nobody seemed to be awake except for Liam and Harry, who luckily was too scared to speak up again as Liam walked to the door of the barn that they had barricaded for the night. The noises from outside were so quiet that Liam wasn’t even sure if maybe it was just the wind, but he still grabbed a tight hold on his gun as he moved the piece of wood keeping the doors closed. It was definitely somewhat light outside already, or about to be, Liam noticed when he moved one of the doors just a little bit. 

He couldn’t see anything at first, not because it was too dark but because there was nothing there. He heard Harry whispering something behind him, but Liam ignored him as he slowly squeezed himself past the doors, closing them once he was outside. There was no wind, so these noises must have come from something else.

Only now did Liam realize that it had been stupid of him to go alone with nobody to watch his back, but he couldn’t have asked Harry and it was also too late as he kept his back against the barn and moved around it, waiting a second before finally looking around the corner. And then he saw what had caused the noises and he felt himself freeze, almost immediately jerking back, his heart beating fast from the unexpected discovery.

There were about 30, if not more, infected people behind the barn where the fire had been, still smoking a bit, most of them just standing there, staring into nothing because there was no noise or movement drawing them towards it, and a few just now arriving, which must have been what Liam and Harry had heard from inside. Liam had no idea how long they had been here, but it couldn’t have been for long because he would have heard them sooner otherwise, he had been up all night.

It must have been the fire, they must have seen it over a distance and they had just needed this long to get here. Or maybe that guy inside had simply never put it out before going to sleep, Liam wasn’t sure, but he wanted to punch himself in the face for not thinking about this in more depth yesterday when they had decided to stay here. Then again, if they hadn’t stayed here, these infected might have stumbled upon them while they would have been forced to sleep outside.

Taking a breath, Liam took another look around the corner, trying to count them before slipping back inside the barn even more quietly than before. They were screwed, there was nothing really that would have made these infected move away again, except maybe a gunshot from further away or a car or another fire, but surely nobody was as stupid as this guy that had allowed them to stay.

“Wh-“

“Shh.” Liam immediately shushed Harry once he was back inside, barricading the door again, as quietly as possible. They had been lucky that they hadn’t spoken louder before or that anybody hadn’t dropped anything on accident because if those infected would have tried to get in here, they would have had to open the doors and tried to kill them all before entering. 

Just because it was the right thing to do, Liam walked across the barn to Harry, leaning down until he could whisper in his ear, feeling quite uncomfortable knowing that Harry was actually sitting against that very wall facing the infected outside. “Don’t panic, there’s a few infected outside.”

“Why?” Good question.

“Probably the fire from last night. It’s okay, just don’t make any noise.” Liam didn’t know what else to say really, especially not to Harry because one, they actually weren’t really… on speaking terms much less on a friendship level and two, he couldn’t have helped Liam anyways, he would have just made things worse by freaking out now. 

“But… what are we gonna do?” Harry held Liam back when he had been about to get back to his own space. It was kinda ironic really, that Harry was now asking Liam for advice because he was scared and the brunette would have LOVED to make a sarcastic comment, but he was a bit more busy trying to think about what to do.

“I’ll think of something.” Probably not, but Liam needed to say something that sounded at least a little bit calming so Harry would let him go. 

He decided that it would be best to not wake anybody because the more people talked in here, the more dangerous it would get and also, the two strangers sleeping opposite Liam would have possibly even blamed it on them or told them to leave. They couldn’t have left though, there was nowhere to hide and they couldn’t have outrun all of them, especially because they would have had to get back to the road if they didn’t wanna walk into the wrong direction again. 

So instead, Liam just sat down next to Niall again, just waiting and hoping. Maybe they’d move on at some point, but the thing was, even if they did, Liam had no idea how long that would take or how many more would come by that time. They were trapped in here, their only chance was to kill them, but Harry and Louis wouldn’t have stood a chance against so many and Liam didn’t know these strangers, didn’t know if they’d even be willing to go outside. 

It didn’t take long enough for Liam to come up with a plan before one of the strangers woke up, the one with the filled up backpack. Light was now coming in so Liam looked over at Harry, shaking his head at him when he noticed that he was about to speak up because Liam rather did it himself, at least his voice wouldn’t shake while doing so. “There are infected outside, about 30.”

“What?” Though the stranger whispered back, he still seemed annoyed with the fact that Liam had even talked to him in the first place, maybe he hadn’t heard him correctly because he had been going through his things, a bit too loudly for Liam’s liking.

“They were drawn by the fire last night, they’re just standing there but I think more are coming.” Speaking a bit louder now, Liam almost wanted to roll his eyes at Harry flinching, being overly panicky now and probably a few seconds from waking up his boyfriend. 

“Are you serious?” Okay, he clearly didn’t believe Liam, but at least he wasn’t yelling or talking too loudly. “If this is some kinda trick then-“

“It’s not, you can check for yourself.” But he wouldn’t probably, that had been a dumb suggestion, it only made Liam sound more suspicious. 

“And you’re gonna lock me out? No way. Where are they?” Liam pointed at the wall Harry was leaning against, which of course made the boy almost immediately move away from it while the guy they had never asked for his name walked over, trying to find some hole or a slit between the wood planks to look through. Right, Liam should have probably done that before as well. 

It took some time, but eventually he seemed to find one and pressed his face up against it. A part of Liam kinda wished he wouldn’t have seen anything, even if that would have resulted in a fight, but at least that would have meant they wouldn’t have to fight the infected. Sadly though, that didn’t happen.

“It looks like more than 30. We’re gonna have to go and kill them, they aren’t gonna leave.” Exactly what Liam had feared. “Let’s wake everyone.”

Right, this was a problem, Liam hadn’t even had time to reply when the guy had already walked over to wake his friend and Liam shared a look with Harry before putting a hand onto Niall’s shoulder, shaking him softly. He wasn’t really sure how he was gonna manage to tell these two strangers that neither Harry nor Louis were gonna go outside and fight without anybody asking questions, but he was quite certain that this would have been the best for all of them. 

“Hm, what?” Niall needed a moment before sitting up, Liam almost shushing him immediately, which of course caused the blonde to become alarmed within a second. “What’s going on?”

“There’s infected outside, we’re gonna have to go and kill them.” Liam started, looking over to see Harry talking to Louis and then the two other guys before looking back into the blonde’s frightened face, speaking up before even fully thinking about why he did it, quietly enough so that only Niall heard him. “You should stay inside with Harry and Louis.” 

“What? Why?” Niall seemed ready to fight even though he had gotten awfully pale and was clearly afraid, which made Liam want him to stay behind even more. “I’m the only one who can get bit.”

“Exactly. The others can’t find out about it and even though you’re immune… “ Okay, Liam hated having to say this because he hated himself for feeling this way. “They could still kill you.”

“They could kill any of us, I’m less likely to have anything happen to me than you, so why-“

“If they get inside Harry and Louis wouldn’t be able to defend themselves.” This was not the reason Liam wanted Niall to stay though, but he needed to say something to convince the blonde. It wasn’t working.

“How many are there?” He was looking Liam straight in the eyes, so it was kinda hard to lie, but Liam did it anyway.

“Only a few.” This was making it sound like no big deal and clearly, Niall still had some worries left but he had no chance anymore to ask Liam about it.

“Are we ready?” The two strangers had already gotten their weapons and Liam threw another intense look at Niall before getting up as well. 

“I am. The other three are gonna stay in here, they can’t fight.” As expected, there was protest following that, but at least not from Niall. 

“Um, I don’t give a fuck if they can’t fight, we let you stay the night and now you want us to fight for you as well?” It was the man who had greeted them with a gun who seemed more upset about it, raising his voice a little bit but quietening down once more when he realized.

“They’re not gonna be able to help us out, I’d have to save them instead of focusing. And I don’t care if you approve, you need me to help you and if you hurt any of them then I guess we’re all just gonna have to sit in here and wait. Or you two go outside alone and take your chances, your decision.” Liam was being serious, he hated that he was sticking up for Harry and Louis to this extend, but it actually wasn’t about them at all. 

“You fucking-“

“Let it be, three is still better than two. And he’s right, those three don’t look like they’ve ever held a gun before. Let’s get it over with.” Had they been in a different situation, Liam would have thanked that guy for ending the discussion and shutting his friend up, but he didn’t really have the time. 

They opened the doors again after briefly discussing a plan and right before Liam followed the other two, Niall tried to come after him, but the brunette stopped him, still in the doorway. “No. Barricade the door again once I’m out.”

“Liam, I can help.” Damn it, Liam needed to go and he didn’t know how to keep Niall from coming after him so he was forced to just say it to the blonde’s face.

“I know that, but I don’t want you to get hurt, okay? Just do me the favor and stay in here and no matter what happens, don’t come out until it’s quiet or until I come back.” Apparently, that was not at all what Niall had expected because his mouth just hung open a little bit and he seemed to want to say something else but Liam had closed the door on him before that, suddenly feeling a bit afraid as he followed the others.

The reason he didn’t want Niall to come was simple and yet too complicated for him to really think about the why. Their chances weren’t really THAT bad, but Liam just knew having Niall there would make him worry the whole time and try to save him and if anything happened to him, Liam would have never forgiven himself. It was funny really, that something like this had had to happen for the brunette to realize that deep down, he did care.

Their plan wasn’t really thought through, but at least it was fully light outside now so that was a good thing. Liam was behind the other two, so he couldn’t look around the corner and see what was going on, but he assumed it wasn’t good.

“That’s more than 30, but I don’t see any more coming, we should just shoot-“

“No, we can’t use guns, it’s too quiet here. We’d be killing them only to be overrun again shortly after.” Though they were whispering, Liam had to remind himself to keep it down because they were only a few feet away from the infected. “We stick to the plan.”

“What plan? Your friends are inside sitting on their asses and not doing anything and you’re not the boss, I can do whatever I want.” And then, before Liam or the third guy could have done anything to stop it, he had already stepped around the corner and fired the first shot.

He maybe shot two or three more times before the infected had reached them and Liam didn’t have time to reach for his own gun or check what the others were doing because there was no way he could have survived if he had concentrated on anything else besides the infected attacking them. They weren’t any slower than normal humans, or weaker, so fighting them was like fighting real people, except they never needed a break, they never stopped to think about anything, they just wanted to kill. 

They were so close to the barn that Liam decided to make a run for it after killing two, his clothes already sprinkled with blood and the only thing on his mind being that he needed to lead them away so that they wouldn’t try to get inside to the others. He didn’t come very far, though the adrenaline was rushing through his body, all Liam knew was that one second he was running and the next, he was lying flat on his face on the ground, feeling blood trickling down his arm from having scraped himself but there was not a second to think about it.

Liam knew they were coming after him, but he barely managed to turn onto his back when one of them was already on top of him, trying to claw at his face. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that having a wound on his arm and fighting the infected put him at greater risk, he wasn’t sure if a bit of blood contact would lead to being infected as well, but he rather wouldn’t have taken the chance. 

He only had one arm to try and hold off the infected on top of him, his other hand blindly searching for his knife somewhere in the dirt, but he only managed to grab hold of a stone, repeatedly slamming it against the infected’s head on top of him until he was able to push them off and get up, finally being able to grab his gun. They had originally agreed to only use their guns in case of an emergency, but there were three more coming towards Liam and the damage had already been done so he shot them, seconds before they reached him.

“HELP ME! PLEASE!” It was one of the other guys still near the barn and though Liam didn’t feel any sort of loyalty to these people, he frantically searched for his knife before making his way back, in the corner of his eyes registering that the barn door was still closed. Good, that was all that mattered, even though there were infected banging on the walls now, they wouldn’t get in.

Ironically, it was the guy who had fired the shot, who had complained inside about the other three not coming, who was now on the ground screaming, his body already covered in bites, even his face, and Louis would have surely thrown up at the sight right now. 

Though there was no use anymore, Liam still killed the infected eating at him with his knife, not being able to do anything else though because more were coming now, drawn by all the noise they were making and it almost felt as if they’d never make it out alive. At some point, Liam wasn’t even sure anymore whether he had gotten scratched by any of them or maybe even bit, his whole body was aching from the fall before.

The guy Liam had saved was still on the ground screaming, the other one seemingly having disappeared, so it was just Liam left, not getting a single second to breathe in between killing and for just a second, he wished he hadn’t said no to Niall coming. Then again, who knew if the blonde would have even made it this far, he could have been the one on the ground right now screaming in pain and infected trying to eat him and the image made Liam stab the bodies with more force.

It seemed to take ages until the screaming finally stopped, but it was too late anyways, Liam half stumbled over corpses covering the ground, no idea anymore how many he had killed or how much time had passed, but eventually, he started to become weak.

When the brunette walked backwards trying to fight off two infected, his back suddenly hit the barn and one of the infected’s teeth barely made it past his cheek, both of them coming at him and Liam already saw his life flashing before his eyes before hearing two gunshots from his right, the infected dropping dead within the second. 

And the thing was, there seemed to be no more coming after them and for a moment, it was dead quiet.

“That was close.” It was the second guy, who had seemingly disappeared sometime in between the fighting, who had saved Liam’s ass, but he was also covered in dirt and blood, so he probably had had the same idea about running and trying to break the infected apart. “You’re a good fighter.”

“Thank you...” Liam needed to catch his breath for a moment, leaning his head back against the barn before forcing himself to scan the ground and the surrounding area, make sure they hadn’t missed anything. But they were all dead on the ground, and so was the third guy who Liam had half-heartedly attempted to save. He had practically been ripped apart and it almost caused the brunette’s stomach to turn after not having seen anything like it for a while. “I… I’m sorry, about your friend. I tried, but he was already bit.”

“I only knew him for two days, he wasn’t my friend. Thanks to him firing that shot we had 20 more coming and the others were drawn by his stupid fire in the first place, he brought it on himself.” The other guy clarified, staring down at the dead body with barely any sadness in his expression while wiping his knife clean on his jeans. “I cleared the area behind the barn, we got ‘em all.”

“Okay.” There was nothing else to say really, Liam’s head was still spinning a bit and he felt paranoid now, blood was drying everywhere on his skin and the smell surrounding them almost made him wanna puke. More than that though, he kinda wanted to just sit down for a moment. But he didn’t really get a chance to.

“I’m Zayn, by the way.” The other guy started, which kinda surprised Liam a little bit, because they hadn’t exactly hit if off last night.

“I’m-“

“Liam!” 

Startled upon hearing his name, Liam barely had time to realize that it had been Niall before the blonde had half thrown himself at him out of nowhere, his arms so tight around Liam’s neck as if he was trying to choke him. It had been MONTHS since Liam had hugged anybody, but he kinda automatically wrapped his uninjured arm around the blonde, only lightly, while Niall was clinging to him for his dear life.

“Are you okay?! I wanted to come help as soon as I heard gun shots, but the others held me back.” His voice was shaking and his mouth was so close to Liam’s ear that it almost made him flinch with how loud it was. “Did you get bit or scratched or anything else? You told me it were only a few!”

“I’m okay… just scratched myself on a stone or something… it’s good you didn’t come.” It really was, it would have probably caused Liam to get hurt just because he would have tried to keep every single infected away from the blonde. 

“I genuinely thought you were gonna die… “ And then out of nowhere, Niall suddenly started crying, like, full on, as if the thought of Liam dying or getting hurt was that painful to him that he couldn’t stand it. 

“Everything’s fine.” Liam half whispered, still having to catch his breath and just holding onto the other boy.

The guy, Zayn, and Harry and Louis must have watched all of it but Liam only looked up now to see them, not really knowing what to say. At least Harry and Louis weren’t looking at him anymore as if he had betrayed them or something, which he really hadn’t because he had offered them to come with him the day he had left, hadn’t he? Still, the situation was slightly odd now.

“So, um… “ Harry started, clearly not knowing what to say and both he and Louis very obviously trying not to look at the mess on the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Louis added almost immediately and Liam just nodded to both of them, all the anger and annoyance from before having pretty much vanished. 

“You could have died protecting us and… you didn’t have to do this, you could have just left, but you didn’t and… we know we’re not exactly the people you would wanna have by your side in an apocalypse and we said some pretty fucked up things, but… Niall is right, we do need you because we wouldn’t make it on our own.” It must have taken Harry everything in him to say all that, but he clearly meant it and so did Louis next to him and Liam really appreciated it.

“It’s fine… let’s just forget the past few days happened and… “ And focus on getting to Toronto, but Liam stopped himself upon realizing that that Zayn guy was also there just watching them having a moment. “And yeah.”

“This is real heartwarming and all, but we should probably get going before even more come, we made a hell lot of noise.” Zayn was right, they were safe for now but not for very long. He left, probably to get his stuff from inside the barn and Liam wasn’t sure if he wanted Zayn to go with them yet, but it wasn’t really time to decide that.

Harry and Louis looked like they were gonna say something else, but they followed Zayn eventually, leaving Niall and Liam by themselves, the blonde never having loosened his grip on the older boy until Liam softly tried to pull away.

“We should get our stuff.” Liam had to clear his throat looking right into Niall’s eyes, his face red and wet from his tear, still nodding though. 

“Okay…” The blonde agreed, but he seemed very unwilling to bring a lot of distance between them and just because Liam was really exhausted and still a bit in shock, he didn’t say anything when Niall let his hand bump into his and eventually held onto it. It was just for now, just because Liam had almost just died, nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :)
> 
> hope you all enjoyed the chapter! i wasnt really planning on writing zayn into the story but i actually had nothing planned for this chapter at all and things kinda went the way they did, so i hope you liked it!
> 
> thank you so much for the comments and the kudos for the first two chapters, i really appreciate every single one of you reading my fics <3


	4. The Promise

“Where are you guys from?“ Zayn had already asked a few too many questions for Liam’s liking, especially considering how wary he had been of their presence last night, but now that he was on his own after his friend had died, maybe he had changed his mind about them. Liam hadn’t though. 

“I’m from Don-“

“Where are _you_ from?” Liam interrupted Louis, not wanting them to be answering all the questions while basically knowing nothing about this stranger yet. They had only been walking away from the barn for a few minutes, after getting their stuff and after Niall had _insisted_ on pouring all the water he had had left over the wound on Liam’s arm, followed by disinfectant before wrapping it up in bandages. Both Liam and Zayn had tried to wipe themselves clean of blood, at least in their faces and hands, just to be safe, and also, well, because it was gross.

“My family moved to Arizona when I was only a year old, but I was born in the UK, that’s why I was asking, because of your accents.” Shit, he probably knew his way around better than they did then, which would give the others even more reason to wish for Zayn to join them. “But it’s fine, you don’t need to tell me if you think I could somehow use that information against you in the middle of an apocalypse.”

“Very funny.” Not at all, Liam tried to be open minded and all and he appreciated the fact that this guy had helped him out before and that he was a capable fighter, but that didn’t mean he trusted him. “So, what’s your plan?”

“I think it’s my turn to ask a question now.” Was he trying to piss Liam off?

“We’re not taking turns.” Liam felt Niall staring at the side of his face, probably trying to tell him to be a bit nicer, but the brunette decided to ignore him because he was just looking out for all of them. They couldn’t trust every stranger, even when they had been fighting with them. 

“Okay, okay, I guess we just got off on the wrong foot last night. I’m sorry about what I said, but I was out all day looking for supplies and like you I don’t just trust strangers or invite them to sleep right next to me under the same roof. But you’re not as incapable as I thought you were and now that my friends’ insides are behind us on the ground… I think it’d be beneficial for all of us to at least try and trust each other. You guys have nothing I want from the looks of your backpacks and weapons, I’m no threat to you, if anything, I should be the one whose afraid, that’s four against one.” Could he stop logically arguing with Liam and destroying his plans?

“If we have nothing you want, then what exactly _do_ you want?” Well, it wasn’t hard to guess, Niall would have probably told Liam that Zayn just didn’t wanna be alone, but he didn’t really strike the brunette as the kinda guy who would wanna be part of a group. Very much like himself.

“I tried being on my own, wasn’t as promising as I thought it would be, especially at night. I don’t know about these three, but I know that you are more than capable of keeping watch at night and defending yourself and if it’s true what you said about your friends not being able fight, then I think you and me both need each other.” Here was the point where he was wrong, Niall was capable of keeping watch and defending himself, but the thing was, Liam didn’t want him to. “So what’s the plan?”

“We’re going to Toronto.” It was Harry who blurted out with it, looking guilty when Liam immediately threw a death glare at him. Zayn had very obviously already lured the others in and yes, Liam had to admit that it would have been nice to have somebody as capable as Zayn by their sides in case it got serious, he just had a hard time accepting it. 

“That’s a bit far, innit? You got family there?” Was it good or bad that they seemed to be the only ones knowing and also trusting the Toronto story?

“No, but apparently they are evacuating people.” Hearing Harry say it out loud just made it even less realistic to Liam, but he kept his mouth shut for now, instead making sure to keep an eye on their surroundings. 

“Seriously? Who said that?” Zayn sounded amused, which Liam had honestly expected, but apparently not the others.

“Niall’s last group.” At this, Liam made sure to throw another warning glance at Harry. If he had already had to spoil their plan, then he definitely didn’t need to start blabbering about Niall’s immunity next.

“Why did you not go with them?” Of course this question had been bound to come, Zayn seemed a bit more serious now and Liam shared a look with the blonde before Niall answered, luckily trusting Liam enough to do the right thing.

“They, uh… they’re dead, I’m the only one who got away.” Niall lied, not having left Liam’s side after he had been hugging him for his dear life and then proceeded to hold his hand shortly before they had walked into the barn, just for a few seconds really, but it had been enough to keep Liam’s hand all tingly for the next few minutes. 

“Oh, sorry ‘bout that. You guys can’t seriously believe that you’re gonna get evacuated though, right? Maybe they evacuated people there at some point, but it’s been months since all this shit started and even if somebody was still there, they certainly wouldn’t wanna help us or, I don’t know, get you guys home or whatever. You’ve been exposed to the virus even if you’re not infected, they wouldn’t risk sending you back to the UK. Also, chances are there isn’t anything for you guys to get back home to anyways.” There they had it, Liam’s opinion on all this expressed in a nutshell and yet it was kinda different because Zayn didn’t know about Niall’s immunity. “If you ask me, all of us are going to turn into one of those monsters sooner or later, bitten or not. If we don’t die until then that is.”

“So what is _your_ plan then?” At least now Harry seemed not that impressed by Zayn anymore, though for the wrong reasons, but Liam would take it.

“Try to survive and wait, what else would I do? Worst case, I turn into one of them or die, best case, I’ll survive until it’s over and all the infected are dead, they aren’t immortal, so… this isn’t gonna last forever.” This sounded oddly positive for somebody who believed that there was no way to get help from anywhere, but for somebody to have that kinda world view, other things must have happened before.

“What about your family and friends?” Niall was the one who asked, probably having the same trail of thought as Liam. 

“My parents and my sisters are in London visiting family, I stayed here because I had to work. As for my friends… “ He never finished, so they all fell into a silence for a few seconds, not needing him to actually say it. They were dead.

“But there’s still a chance we might get help in Toronto and if your family is in London then… don’t you wanna at least try? We don’t have anything to lose going there, we got nowhere else to go.” Okay, why exactly was Louis trying to convince Zayn to come with them now?

“Actually, there’s a lot to lose. It’s the end of November, the further north we go the colder it’s going to get. You’d arrive in Toronto at the end of December or January, if you even make it that far.” Another obstacle Liam hadn’t brought up to discuss with the others because he had known it would have been pointless. Also, the more Zayn talked the more Liam stopped caring, he was gonna bring the others to Toronto, no matter what happened on the way. “We’d have better chances staying where it’s warm and waiting it out, maybe find a camp or make our own. If there really is some sort of evacuation, they wouldn’t just keep it limited to one single city, they would try to find survivors everywhere.”

“What if you’re wrong?” Niall asked, clearly a little bit pissed off now, maybe also slightly scared by how logical Zayn’s words sounded. 

“Well, that’s possible, but I’m certainly not wrong about the temperatures sinking and that is soon going to be a much bigger problem than anybody trying to eat you.” A few days ago, Liam might have agreed with Zayn and appreciated his slight arrogance, but seeing the way Niall’s face fell after that was only making Liam wanna disagree with Zayn if anything.

“Low temperatures aren’t only bad for us but also the infected, we just have to find warmer clothes, which won’t be that much of a problem, so thanks for your advice but it’s nothing we haven’t thought about before.” At least Liam had. “No one’s forcing you to go with us, in fact-“

“Don’t worry, Liam, I know how you see things and that you wouldn’t care to see me leave, but you’re going to appreciate me once I save you and your friends’ asses.” What? “I can take some coldness, just wanted to check if you guys are aware of what you’re attempting.”

“Just say that you don’t wanna be alone, it’d make it a bit easier to like you.” Liam had realized that for himself as well even though he had never said it out loud and probably never would.

“I already did.” Right. “I’m sure your friends wouldn’t say no to having somebody else who can protect them, right? And seeing as there has to be a reason that they are following you and what I have seen just now… I’m sure we can help each other out. So, do we have a map or any idea where we’re going?”

“Yeah, we have maps, Liam knows where we’re going.” Harry sounded a bit proud saying that and Liam refrained from rolling his eyes. It was maybe the first time that he was the one letting himself fall back a little bit, seeing as they were going in the right direction and all.

Liam wasn’t sure what to think about Zayn, all he knew was that there was no reason at all to make him leave that didn’t have anything to do with Liam’s ego. Just like Niall seemed to have known that he and the other two needed Liam to get there, Liam now realized that having Zayn with them held no disadvantages for them. Well, apart from the fact that there was just one more person to argue with. 

“I’d still follow you even if you weren’t good at fighting.” Niall had let himself fall back with Liam of course, referring to what Zayn had just said that had kinda hit Liam a little bit.

“Would you?” Liam couldn’t help but sound slightly sarcastic, because Niall had said it himself multiple times, Liam was their best, if not only, chance to get to Toronto and there had been absolutely no other reason for Niall wanting him to come with them again. 

“Yes, why are you asking like that? I would have fought with you before if you had let me and I never only wanted you with us so you could protect us, I can protect myself.” The blonde sounded almost as if he was upset by Liam kinda suggesting that he had been lying, which was quite a surprise to the brunette because… he hadn’t particularly been nice to Niall. Or any of them. “How’s your arm?”

“Um, it’s fine. It was only superficial, so… “ The mention of that reminded Liam of just a few minutes again when Niall had poured the very last bottle of water over his wound just to keep it clean without even thinking about it, and the way he had been crying into Liam’s shoulder because he had thought that Liam had died, holding his hand afterwards. That alone was proof enough that he didn’t just want Liam there to fight for them and the brunette had to realize that he was just a bit worked up because of this Zayn guy. “If you get thirsty then tell me, okay? I have a whole bottle left.”

“Oh, maybe I might just ask Zayn.” For just a second, Liam actually thought Niall was being serious, but then the blonde chuckled and Liam rolled his eyes, almost wrapping his arm around the other boy’s shoulders, but then he held back. “Do you think he will share his supplies with us?”

“I mean, he kinda has to, right? Seems like he wants to stay with us for now.” Liam couldn’t help but sound a little but pissed off still, watching Zayn and his huge backpack from behind, slowing down even more. Louis and Harry were kinda walking next to Zayn and Liam was afraid they would blurt out with Niall’s immunity next, but it wouldn’t have made a difference had been walking with them to hear it or not. 

“It’s gonna be easier to have him with us though, a little bit. You could finally sleep again at night.” The way Niall said it, it almost sounded as if he was worried about Liam or something but the older boy didn’t look over to see Niall’s face, instead looking over his shoulder, pretending to just be making sure that nobody was behind them. 

“No, with him here I can sleep even less. I wouldn’t trust him to stay awake and keep watch, he might just walk away while we’re all asleep.” Or worse, take the little supplies they had left. “Anyways, I’m not sure how long he’s really gonna stay with us, he clearly doesn’t wanna go to Toronto.”

“You didn’t either just a few hours ago.” Niall reminded Liam and the brunette felt slightly caught but then again, it was really whatever at this point. 

“I still think it’s a waste of time but so is sitting around in a camp waiting for nothing and pretending everything’s fine.” Liam had done that for way too long and sure, sometimes he wished he wouldn’t have to sleep with one eye open, but being in a camp didn’t guarantee safety, it just brought other dangers. “And you guys wouldn’t make it without me, so… “

“Don’t be a dick.” It was a joke and Liam found himself laughing without even really thinking about it, the smile on Niall’s face while he was watching the brunette quickly making him clear his throat though and try to get himself together. Right, they weren’t here to have fun and anyways, Liam didn’t even WANT to have fun. “Can I… ask you something?”

“Is this again about my life a few months ago?” This was another reason why letting his guard down around Niall wasn’t a good thing, the blonde was getting too confident and too invested in the brunette and Liam tried to be as easily annoyed by it like he had been back when Harry and Louis had been trying to ask him private questions, but it was getting significantly harder.

“I just-“

“Then no.” Liam interrupted, making it sound a little bit like a joke but he knew Niall knew that he was being serious. This wasn’t a good idea, not at all.

“Why?” Was Niall seriously _whining_ now?

“I already told you, there’s no reason to talk about that, it’s in the past, it doesn’t matter.” Of course Liam could have held a speech again that would have shut Niall up instantly, but he kinda didn’t feel like it anymore after this morning. Things were changing and though Liam didn’t enjoy it one bit, he couldn’t stop it.

“Okay if it doesn’t matter can I ask one question a day then? Just one?” He wasn’t gonna give up, was he? “I promise I won’t ask anything too private.”

“What exactly do you deem too private?” It didn’t seem like that boy would have been hesitant to ask anything at all really and maybe Liam didn’t even wanna know after all but now he had already asked.

“I don’t know, like… with what age you lost your virginity or something.” Well, that certainly was a surprise and just because that was actually not even close to the questions Liam had been afraid of, the brunette decided to answer.

“Five years ago.” Actually, thinking about that didn’t bother Liam as much as thinking about anything else in the past, maybe because it had been meaningless and because he had just been wanting to get it over with. 

“Wha- really? I would have thought you were younger.” Niall just said it like that, clearly enjoying the fact though that Liam had answered and the older boy tried not to be amused. 

“Why?” Liam asked more because he knew it would make Niall blush and he hadn’t been mistaken.

“I-I don’t know, sorry, um… so you agree to the one question then?” He sounded very hopeful and when Liam looked into his face, he had been planning on simply saying no and try to switch the topic but then again… what was one question?

“You already wasted your first one though.” As soon as he had said it, there was a smile spreading across the younger’s face and Liam tried his very hardest not to return it though he kind of wanted to. 

“I can live with that, I’m gonna make a list for the next few days.” Knowing him, he probably really would do that and it was kinda cute but as soon as Liam had come to that conclusion, he wanted to punch himself in the face. “Just in case, you can ask me anything you want if you get bored or so.”

“Thanks for that offer, Niall.” Liam rolled his eyes, kinda amused though but also feeling slightly bad all of a sudden. Niall was trying so hard to distract himself from all this and he just wanted to talk and talk all day long while Liam was just the complete opposite and though he didn’t really wanna ask Niall any questions about his life or whatever, he decided to at least try and uphold some kind of conversation after a moment of silence. “You know what? I really don’t trust Zayn, I reckon you should probably know our route by heart as well, just in case he steals our maps or something else happens.”

The blonde was more than eager to study the maps with Liam while walking and the brunette had to admit that though he felt kinda weird, it was a nice distraction after all.

 

\--------------------

 

“You know there’s absolutely no reason for you to be awake, right?” This was probably the third time Zayn was trying to get Liam to go to sleep and the more often he said it, the more did Liam want to stay awake. He had slept before when it had been Louis’ turn to keep watch and Liam had to admit that he was exhausted because he had been up the last night as well, but Zayn seemed a bit too eager to get him to lie down.

“There’s none for you either.” Was all Liam said, not interested in a conversation. They had barely talked after this morning, Liam had pretty much spent all day walking next to Niall studying the maps and then spending a few hours not saying anything but it had been alright. Nothing major had happened, there had been one infected person that they had already seen from miles away and of course Zayn had had to show off his knife throwing skills to everyone. It hadn’t been half as impressive as the other three had pretended. 

“Yes, there is, I slept last night. All of us did except you.” There was no real reason to whisper, the others were out anyways and so exhausted from walking that even Niall had seemingly fallen asleep on an instant. They had been lucky that they had found shelter in some kinda farmhouse, but the backdoor was completely shattered so there was even more reason for Liam to stay awake now after his two or three hours of sleep. 

“So? It’s none of your business.” Liam was pissed off because yes, he was really tired, but there was just no way he would put his trust into this guy just yet.

“It kinda is if we get slowed down by you or you pass out or something.” What the fuck? “You should have let your boyfriend keep watch if you mistrust me that much, he offered twice.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Slightly taken aback by that word, Liam kinda automatically looked to where Niall was sleeping on the floor, so close to Liam that the brunette could have touched him had he reached out. Which he didn’t of course, why would he have wanted to do that? “And I’m not gonna pass out or slow you down and even if I _did_ , we’re not forcing you to come with us.”

“Oh my god, I thought we were through with that. You need me, Liam, we both know it and yeah, I kinda need you too and there’s nothing we can change about this, but if you wanna tire yourself out so desperately then be my guest. At some point you’re gonna have to sleep.” Was this how annoyed the others sometimes felt with Liam whenever he wasn’t being the nicest?

Liam decided to simply ignore Zayn, looking away from Niall’s silhouette and instead leaning his head against the wall and staring out of the window, as far as that was possible from down where he was sitting. The curtains had been ripped down and the whole house looked like a freaking mess when they had cleared it a few hours ago, so they probably weren’t the first people who had spent the night in here.

“He’s really not your boyfriend though?” Zayn suddenly asked after a few minutes of silence and Liam was so annoyed he was ready to get up and sit outside. “I didn’t wanna offend you or anything, honestly, I genuinely thought you’re together. Like Harry and Louis.”

“We’re not.” Liam wasn’t offended, he had been with guys before, it was just the fact that Zayn genuinely seemed to think Liam would wanna talk to him about this kinda stuff… and then also the fact that a stranger thought Liam was dating the boy who he had threatened to shoot just a few days ago was slightly annoying to the brunette because he was trying to avoid letting anybody too close. It was just so difficult with Niall. 

“Could’ve fouled me. Now I really don’t get why you’re not going to sleep, I thought you’re just being overprotective of him, keeping him out of the fight this morning and all, but-“

“Can you please just be quiet? You’re gonna wake the others.” Or they were already awake and just pretending to be asleep so they could listen in on the conversation, because that sounded quite like something Harry would have done. 

“Okay, okay, I’m already done, you can continue to be grumpy in silence now. If you’re not gonna put the blanket back over your boy though then I’m gonna do it.” Zayn was referring to Niall’s blanket that had slipped already a while ago, Liam had of course noticed but he had been trying hard to ignore it until now.

He knew it would only amuse Zayn, but Liam didn’t want him to touch Niall so he moved after some slight hesitation to tuck the blonde back in, more carefully than he would have had it not been so dark in here anyways. Obviously Liam just did it because he would have done it for all three of them, simply because one of them getting a cold would have ruined all their plans, not because he actually cared or anything.

 

\------------

 

“Did you ever have any pets?”

The question startled Liam so much that he almost dropped his water bottle, Niall having literally come up from nowhere just to ask him that. “Jesus, was that necessary?”

“Sorry.” Niall only apologized half-heartedly, clearly waiting for an answer though. He had kept this up for the past four days, every single day catching Liam off guard with the most random question in the whole world. Yesterday it had been Liam’s favorite movie. “So? What about pets?”

“I don’t know, we always had dogs. And a cat at some point when I was younger but she ran away.” Liam shrugged, kinda feeling a bit uneasy talking about this topic, but then again, there wasn’t anything Niall could have asked Liam would have liked to answer. Then again, he actually didn’t mind this weird game between them and it always got Niall so excited, as if he was waiting all day for this or something and just for that, Liam gave himself a little push. “I, uh, I have a dog, Watson.”

“Really? What’s he look like?” The blonde clearly hadn’t expected that or maybe it was because he just seemed so desperate to be distracted from walking. Nothing major had happened the past four days, Liam still didn’t trust Zayn 100%, but at least they had all stopped arguing for now, the whole group kinda walking a bit fragmented at times. Liam had gone back to walking ahead of the others while Zayn seemed comfortable being either the last one or chatting with Harry and Louis. Niall did the same, but he clearly spent most of his time next to Liam. 

“Big. He’s a Great Dane.” Okay, Liam had said too much, he really didn’t want to talk about this anymore and just because Niall had already opened his mouth to probably ask the color of Watson’s fur or some shit, Liam just said his thoughts out loud. “He’s probably dead.“

“Why would he be dead, did you leave him home alone?” Now the blonde clearly sounded shocked and Liam looked at the boy in confusion before rolling his eyes.

“No, of course not. I left him with my sister.” Who was probably also dead, just like his other sister and… anyways, Niall hadn’t picked the best question today.

“Your sister?” Right, now Niall’s interest had been sparked even more, shit.

“You only get one question per day and I already answered two. Anyways, private stuff is off limit, remember?” Liam tried to sound harsh in hopes that Niall would get the hint and realize that anything to do with Liam’s family was crossing the line. 

“Okay… I’m sorry.” This time, the blonde really did sound sorry so Liam sighed, almost wanting to tell him that it was fine but then he stayed quiet instead. “I don’t think anybody at home is dead though.”

“I know.” Niall had to believe everyone was well if he was trying to get back so desperately, plus, he made sure to tell Liam that at least once a day as well.

“If it turns out that I was right the whole time then you need to come visit me in Ireland at some point.” Well, this was random.

“If it turns out you were right I’m gonna do anything you want.” Liam promised though it kinda came out like a joke but then again, did it matter? Niall wasn’t right, there was just no bloody way. 

“I’m gonna hold you to that, also- _shit_.” Before Liam had even had time to realize what had just happened, Niall was already getting back up again from having fallen over a bump in the road or something. 

“Are you okay?” Almost immediately, Liam had forgotten about their conversation, feeling panicked though the blonde was obviously fine, having gotten up by himself and all, wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Yeah, ‘m good.” He kept walking and Liam did the same, worriedly watching the younger boy though just to realize that he had scratched both of his palms bleeding.

“You’re bleeding, I’ve got bandages left and-“

“No, you need them for your arm. Also, we shouldn’t just waste the medical stuff on something minor, we’ve almost run out.” Niall was right but Liam didn’t really care right now, especially not because he noticed that the blonde was walking a bit funny. “I’m fine, promise.”

“Did you hurt your leg?” Clearly he had and Liam wanted to curse, but then he held back, throwing a look over his shoulder just to meet Harry’s questioning stare, giving him a nod to tell him that the blonde was fine. Though he clearly wasn’t.

“Just bent my ankle is all. It’s nothing, it barely even hurt.” Well, it kinda looked like it hurt, however, there was no way Liam would get Niall to say it so he stopped asking. It’s not like he could have helped the blonde after all and the scratches on his palms really didn’t look bad at all, it was his leg that worried Liam. “Speaking about hurting, how is your arm actually?”

“Good, it’s healing.” Which was a surprise to Liam really, he had kinda thought it’d get infected or… or worse and though he hadn’t really planned on saying this out loud to anyone, he just told Niall without thinking about it. “For a while I was worried I would get sick, because I was in contact with blood from the infected and I’m pretty sure I’d be one of them right now if their blood had gotten in the wound.”

“Wait, what?! And you’re only saying that now?” Niall was clearly shocked, making Liam regret ever speaking up. 

“I mean, you all saw the wound, so… I tried to keep my arm away while I was killing them, but it could have also ended badly.” Actually, Liam was more than certain that the disease could be spread this way, it was only logical. “Their bites and scratches just go so much deeper and I don’t know… they can’t be the only way to get infected though. It’s not like we’re in a real zombie movie or so.”

“But if that’s true then… then we should cover our faces as well if we fight them, what if their blood gets into your mouth? Oh my god… then we also can’t touch anybody who’s infected and we can’t like, drink water from a lake or-“

“Niall, do you honestly think I’d let you touch somebody who is infected or let you drink from a lake? Why do you think we only take water bottles that are still closed?” This had kinda been a given for Liam all along though he wasn’t quite sure if his theory was correct or if the disease really spread that easily, but he would have rather been safe than sorry. 

“I don’t know, because we like being thirsty and suffering?” The blonde joked but Liam caught him worriedly eying his bandaged arm. “Why didn’t you tell me you thought you might be infected?”

“I was pretty sure I wasn’t, it just crossed my mind.” A lie, Liam had just tried not to think about it and drive himself crazy. “Also, it wouldn’t have changed anything, there’s nothing we could have done.”

For a moment, Niall looked like he was about to say something, but then he closed his mouth, only to speak up again a moment later, more quietly now, clearly unsure about Liam’s reaction. Understandable. “If I’m immune… and if people get infected from blood contact… maybe there’s something in my blood that makes me immune, maybe if people came in contact with my blood it’d make them immune as well.”

“I… I’m not good in biology but I’m not sure if this would work. Also, you’ve possibly got the virus in you, you might spread it that way.” Right, this hadn’t been the most positive thing to say, had it? “I mean, not that I think you’re gonna get sick from it at some point or that you could genuinely infect people, just… I’m not sure it’d be a good idea to take the risk.”

“So what, nobody can ever touch me again?” Now Niall sounded upset, but also a bit scared and Liam wanted to slap himself in the face.

“No, that’s not what I meant. You’re obviously immune, so I don’t think you carry the virus, I just… I just meant it wouldn’t be a good idea to try it out when we don’t know anything about it.” A bad attempt at a safe, Liam felt guilty looking into the blonde’s face and just because he didn’t know what else to do, he slowly wrapped his arm around the blonde’s shoulders. “Sorry. I’m pretty sure a virus can’t even survive that long in your blood.”

“It’s fine… maybe you’re right. I just… sometimes I’m scared that maybe I’ll just have a late reaction or something, that I’ll wake up one day and have all the symptoms or something… “ It was official, Liam was an asshole.

“That’s impossible, Ni, the bites are healed and you’re completely fine. You’re either immune or… I don’t know. But you won’t get sick, I know it.” If there was only one thing Liam was certain about, it was probably that and the fact that Niall wasn’t ever gonna get infected, not as long as Liam was still here. Yet Niall chose to ignore pretty much everything the brunette had just said.

“Ni, huh?” The blonde sounded amused, but when their eyes met, his whole face had brightened up just because Liam had called him a nickname on accident and the brunette felt his cheeks getting hot, not quite sure what had gotten into him. “So does that mean I can call you nicknames as well?”

“I mean-“

“Hey, lovebirds, there’s a house over there.” They kinda got interrupted by Zayn, and Liam fucking HATED the fact that he and Niall both immediately turned around upon being called that even though Zayn might have as well been referring to Harry and Louis. He hadn’t though and Liam tried to let his arm slip in the most subtle way possible even though everyone had already seen it anyways. 

“Can you maybe stop yelling around?” Liam tried to save some of his pride by immediately attacking Zayn once he and Niall had stopped walking so the others could catch up, but to his defense, the other boy had really been kinda loud. 

“Sorry, wasn’t sure if you’d hear me, you seemed so busy with each other.” This was the thing, whenever they didn’t talk, Liam was kinda fine with Zayn’s presence and also kinda relieved that he didn’t have to constantly check on Harry and Louis himself, but then whenever he opened his mouth and said stuff like that, Liam was ready to fight. Not now though, Zayn had never really said anything like that with everyone else listening, so the brunette was just hoping to move on from it quickly. “So what about the house?”

“What about it?” Liam was so pissed off, he barely even wanted to look at Zayn, but even less so he wanted to look at Louis right now because he could see him grinning from the corner of his eyes and that was really enough. 

“Should we check it out or keep walking? I’m just asking because last time I suggested something you told me it’d mess with whatever schedule you have come up with.” Right, two days ago Zayn had suggested they stop in some town and Liam had pretended that they needed to stick to a time plan just so Zayn wouldn’t have gotten what he wanted. They could have needed the supplies but Liam had never seen said town and he didn’t really trust Zayn to remember its exact location after apparently having been there a few weeks ago. Even if it had existed, there was no guarantee for supplies and all 5 of them walking in there would have been risky as hell.

“It’s gonna get dark soon, so… “ Liam shrugged, not wanting to elaborate on it because it would have only led to more embarrassment for him. “Let’s go.”

This time, Liam made sure to stay ahead of Niall, just because of that awkward moment a few seconds ago. Maybe he shouldn’t have put his arm around the blonde with everyone else watching, but he honestly hadn’t even thought of it in that moment. Also, it’s not like Liam was too bothered by Zayn’s stupid comments, it was just the fact that they were coming from Zayn himself and that Liam had trouble trusting him. For no particular reason really other than the fact that he didn’t enjoy another person questioning his choices, but he would have never said that out loud obviously.

The house was clean, but there were no supplies left, which was quite worrying and not exactly helping Liam’s anxiety about completely running out of stuff. It had turned out that though Zayn’s backpack had seemed so full, half of it had been due to blankets and he had shared his supplies with all of them without even hesitating, but obviously they weren’t going to last forever. Actually, probably not even three more days. 

“I think after sleeping on the floor so often I can’t sleep on a couch anymore, it’s just so… soft.” Though Louis was clearly joking, Liam knew where he was coming from, it was rare that all of them got to sleep on a couch and obviously they didn’t want to sleep upstairs or in separate rooms where there might have been beds because it’d just create an unnecessary risk. 

“Then sleep on the floor and I’ll get the whole couch to myself.” Harry laughed when Louis rolled his eyes after he had spread himself out and Liam would have told them to be more quiet but he really didn’t feel like it right now. At least these two were still teasing each other and having fun once a while.

They had pushed two couches into the biggest room downstairs, so no one would have to sleep on the floor and one person would have to stay awake anyways. Liam kinda got a feeling that he would be the one, yet again. Sure, Niall always offered and so did Harry and Louis, but it was just… it made Liam nervous to sleep, a little bit still because of Zayn, but more because he kinda felt responsible for some reason.

“Does it still hurt?” Liam clearly startled Niall who had sat down on one of the other couches, moving his foot slowly as if he was testing it out. 

“Um, a bit.” The blonde hesitated, which wasn’t a good sign and he also stopped moving his foot, either because it hurt too much or because Liam was watching him. “I’m fine.”

“Take your shoe off.” Liam wasn’t really thinking before he had already said it out loud, watching Niall’s eyes going wider. 

It looked like the younger boy was about to protest, but he eventually leaned down to untie his shoe and do what Liam had told him to, maybe because he realized that there was no use arguing. He took his time though, which only made Liam more nervous and once the blonde had finally taken off his shoe and his sock, it only confirmed his suspicions. Honestly, it could have been way worse, but his ankle was clearly red and a bit swollen. 

“It’s gonna be fine tomorrow, I-“

“You should really prop up your leg or something.” Harry interrupted the blonde trying to talk himself out of it, the others now all staring at Niall’s foot, probably thinking the same thing as Liam while Niall’s face just turned a bit paler. 

“Maybe… “ Niall mumbled, not looking up at Liam anymore and instead putting his sock back on. “It barely hurts though.”

“That’s not necessarily a good sign. I’d say you should ice it, but we won’t be getting ice from anywhere soon. Does anybody still have bandages left?” Liam was trying not to panic, he himself had bandages left, but seeing as the others all shook their heads, those were the last ones they had. “Okay, I got some, we should make a compression for support.”

“No, your arm-“

“Is fine.” Liam finished the sentence for Niall and the blonde looked like he was going to protest but he eventually gave in, probably because Liam was already busy going through his backpack. “Take your sock off again.”

Niall’s foot was clearly sensitive to touch, but he seemed to try really hard not to flinch or pull a face while Liam was wrapping the bandages around it. The brunette hadn’t even thought about whether Niall would wanna do it himself or whether one of the others was more skilled at this than him, he had just gone straight ahead, not really caring that much what anybody else thought of it.

When he was done, Niall seemed really relieved. He did lie down on the couch when Harry brought him some pillows to prop his foot up and Liam watched worriedly, feeling slightly helpless. Though he didn’t think Niall would be incapable of walking or anything, it only showed that something bad could happen anytime and there was nothing any of them could have to prevent it.

It also didn’t help that they were running out of pretty much everything, if any of them got hurt now, they wouldn’t even be able to keep the wound clean or cover it and though they rarely had seen any infected the last few days, the incident at the barn was proof that that didn’t mean anything. Also, if they ran out of water then they’d be absolutely screwed anyways. 

While the others got settled, Liam got the maps out again, pretty much knowing exactly where they were right now because he made sure to keep track of street signs and stuff so they wouldn’t get lost or end up walking in the wrong direction again. He knew that they were all worried about supplies and the fact that Liam made sure to avoid cities or small towns as much as possible wasn’t really helping with that. It’s just, it seemed easier to try and limit their food and water intake than to run into a group of infected or normal people and having to fight them.

At this point though, Liam knew that they couldn’t just carry on like this, it wasn’t just about bandages, they also barely had anything left to eat or drink. What was the point in surviving all this just to die from dehydration or starvation? Or an infection?

Liam didn’t blurt out with his plan immediately though, he made sure to check the batteries in his flashlight before searching the house again, feeling Niall’s eyes on his back when he walked out of the room. A part of Liam knew that this was stupid, that he shouldn’t have suggested what he was about to, but whenever he looked at Niall he suddenly didn’t care anymore if he was being an idiot if only it’d mean that the blonde would get to Toronto in one piece. Especially now after he had gotten hurt. 

The brunette did find some unused batteries and a second flashlight, so he kinda took that as a sign that he needed to do this and that it was going to work out.

“We need supplies.” Liam started when he came back into the room where everyone had sat down, waiting for it to go completely dark. Seeing Zayn sharing a bag of nuts with Niall made Liam feel slightly better about what he was about to do. 

“Great observation, Sherlock.” Zayn laughed but it didn’t sound amused, more as if he was questioning Liam’s sanity. 

It was on purpose that Liam wasn’t looking at Niall as he kept standing in the doorway, needing a second to actually say it out loud. Because once he did, he couldn’t take it back anymore and he’d be forced to do it. “I’m gonna go and check out some towns nearby, you guys stay here and if I’m not back in the morning-“

“What? No, you’re not.” Niall had sat up almost immediately, looking like he would jump up any second and Liam had kinda expected that but it was still frustrating to know that he would have to convince them now. Or Niall at least, although Harry and Louis seemed quite taken aback as well. “We can’t split up, that’s stupid, we should all go.”

“He’s right, Li, why would you do that?” Harry looked confused, but also slightly frightened and so did Louis while Zayn was actually for once looking at Liam as if he respected him.

“I’ve been keeping us away from towns and cities on purpose because I didn’t wanna take any chances. I thought we’d find supplies on the way but… all the houses are empty and now Niall got hurt. We can’t walk into a town together, we’d make too much noise and we’d be way too slow and in case anything happened I’m not sure if we’d all make it out alive in case we get split up. If I go by myself I’ll be much faster, I can hide and I can defend myself, it’s easier if I don’t have to worry about anybody else.” Everything Liam had said was true, but Niall still didn’t seem convinced. “There’s no point doing any of this if we’re gonna die from dehydration or an infection.”

“I’m going with you.” Of course he had been bound to say that.

“No, you need to rest. You can’t run with that foot and you shouldn’t even walk on it. It’s fine, I’ll be back in the morning, Ni.” Liam had used his nickname on purpose because Niall seemed to have been so excited about it before, but now it only caused the younger’s face to fall even more. 

“And why exactly do you wanna do this in the middle of the night?” Louis was clearly questioning Liam’s choices as well though at least he didn’t look like he’d start crying any second like Niall. Fuck, why’d he have to make it so bloody hard for Liam?

“So we won’t waste any time. Also, I don’t necessarily wanna bump into any other people and the infected are less likely to see me at night as well.” Liam thought that his plan sounded well thought through and the others probably thought the same because they all just looked at one another now. “Zayn can protect you guys if anything happens.”

“See, I told you we need each other.” Zayn was the only one who seemed okay with Liam’s plan and maybe Liam didn’t necessarily trust him 100%, but he doubted that Zayn would harm the others. Plus, it was only for the night and if Liam was being honest with himself then not having any food or water left was a greater danger than Zayn’s presence. He hadn’t done anything to give Liam a reason to mistrust him, he was just getting on his nerves once a while. 

There was some silence following that and Liam almost took it as a sign of approval, but he was clearly wrong. Obviously, Niall wouldn’t be convinced so easily. “Please don’t go.”

“Niall-“

“No, please. We will find supplies somewhere else, my foot doesn’t even hurt, we’ll be fine. Please, we shouldn’t split up, not again.” Niall’s eyes were now shimmering with tears and Liam hadn’t really expected the blonde to get so damn emotional so it made him feel all sort of things he hadn’t thought he’d ever feel again.

“I’ll be back in the morning, nothing is gonna happen.” Liam tried to convince the blonde, but it didn’t seem to help. He wasn’t quite sure what it was exactly Niall was so damn afraid of, but whatever it was, it seemed to absolutely kill the blonde. “We need the supplies, we can’t keep on going like this and it’s gonna be so much quicker and easier if I go by myself.”

“Why can’t Zayn go?” Oh. 

“I mean… I’ve not really been part of this group for very long.” Zayn threw in, clearly not wanting to, which made sense. Liam hadn’t expected him to and if he was being quite honest, he would have rather done it himself anyways. 

“He’s right, I wouldn’t expect him to do this for us, he’s got no reason to and he’s already shared all his supplies with us and actually… I’d rather do it myself.” Liam slowly walked over to sit on edge of the couch next to Niall, the blonde’s eyes never leaving his face. After Niall had asked that question, it was kinda obvious that the reason he didn’t want Liam to do this wasn’t because he was afraid that they’d be unsafe without Liam, it was rather about Liam going specifically. “Everything is going to be fine, I know how to take care of myself, you know that.”

“Then let me go with you.” Niall was almost begging now and Liam was so afraid of the younger’s tears finally spilling that he almost reached out for the boy. Almost.

“Ni, you need to rest, okay? If you keep walking with that foot it’s gonna swell even more and then who knows what will happen. I’m gonna be fine on my own and I’ll be back in a few hours.” Also, Niall was the only one who knew the way by heart as well, but Liam didn’t wanna imply that something might happen to him because it would have only caused the blonde to panic even more. It really wasn’t what Liam had expected to happen, for Niall to care so much about him that just the thought of Liam going by himself made him wanna cry. 

“What if you’re not?” And Harry asking that question was finally Niall’s breaking point.

The blonde just burst out into tears right next to Liam and the brunette was so stunned by the reaction that he didn’t know what to say at first. Liam didn’t think so highly of himself that he thought Niall was only crying because he cared so much about him, but he could tell that Niall was also exhausted and still in pain and everything together was probably just too much for him.

Still, it made Liam feel quite weird, thinking about how Niall apparently wouldn’t have had a problem seeing Zayn do it and the fact that he was almost begging Liam to take him with him. It’d be a lie to say that Liam would have wanted Niall to do what he himself was about to and that he simply would have let him go, for which he had no arguments whatsoever because Niall had survived on his own longer than anyone. The concept of somebody worrying so much about him in all this mess wasn’t really getting through to Liam. 

“Niall… “ Liam started after a moment, painfully aware that everyone else was right there and watching them, but he still slowly wrapped his arm around the blonde, not really having expected Niall to immediately curl into his side though. “I promise I’ll be alright and I’m gonna come back, hopefully with supplies. If we don’t find any soon then all of this would have been for nothing. I wouldn’t do this if I thought I couldn’t do it, I just know that going by myself will save us time and it’ll be much safer, for all of us… okay?”

Niall didn’t say anything, he wasn’t crying loudly or anything, but he also had his face buried against Liam’s shoulder so the brunette couldn’t really look at him. He just kept his arm around the blonde, rubbing his back and suddenly considering not going after all. But he had to and he knew he could do this, he knew he’d be fine, he just hated that it was causing Niall to feel so bad. 

“I’m gonna show you guys where I’m going on the map, alright? And just in case anything happens, which I don’t think it will, we can agree on a different place to meet up at, so there’s really nothing that can go wrong.” Well, there were plenty of things that could have gone wrong, but Liam wasn’t really thinking of himself in that aspect but rather the others. 

“I’ve got two watches, you can have one, Liam, so we’ll know when you come back.” Zayn had gotten up before Liam had even reacted to it, going through his backpack before coming back with a watch for Liam. It was weird knowing how late it was again, Liam probably hadn’t known the time for weeks, maybe even months, there just hadn’t been a need to anymore. 

“Thank you… “ Liam knew that the longer he sat here, the later he’d be back and the more would Niall suffer. The brunette shared a look with Harry and Louis, kinda hoping that they would say something as well, but seeing as Niall was only clinging to Liam, they probably thought it’d be best if the brunette did it himself. “I’ll try to be back at 6, okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good. We won’t freak out if you’re a bit late.” Zayn was probably trying to lighten the mood a bit, but it wasn’t really working that well. HE certainly wouldn’t freak out. 

Liam made sure to wait a little longer before slowly attempting to let go of Niall and the blonde did sit up properly again after refusing for a moment, his face wet and red as he attempted to wipe his tears, but it didn’t really seem to help all that much. “I’m just gonna go get the maps, yeah?”

It didn’t seem like Niall wanted to let Liam go but he nodded anyways and the brunette felt everybody’s eyes glued to his back as he walked over to his backpack. If he had known that his plan would evoke such a heavy reaction, he might have approached it differently or maybe waited another day. But the thing was, time was the one thing that they were running out of almost as fast as supplies.

The brunette made sure to show the others exactly where he was going, made sure that they all agreed on a place to meet up at and a time in case anything went wrong. He had more than one map, so he only took one for himself or otherwise he probably wouldn’t have found his way back here. They agreed that if Liam wasn’t back by 7 in the morning for whatever reason that it was probably only because he needed longer to walk and that they would instead meet up somewhere else, just so they wouldn’t waste too much time. Niall didn’t seem happy with that plan at all, but he refused to speak, even when Liam tried to make him believe that he’d be back by 6 for sure. Great.

When Liam was about to leave, he was slightly surprised that both Harry and Louis came to hug him and just because, he accepted it, all of a sudden feeling a tiny bit emotional, as if he was going off to war or something. “Just make it back in one piece please.”

“You know I will.” Liam tried to smile at Harry, a little forced maybe because he really dreaded saying goodbye to Niall in a second. 

For a moment, Liam actually thought Niall would stay on the couch and just be upset, but when their eyes met when Liam pulled away from Louis, the blonde did get up, still with only one shoe on but otherwise walking completely normally. 

There was no time really for Liam to say anything when Niall’s arms were already wrapped around his waist and the older boy made sure to hug him back just as tightly. They didn’t know each other since that long, but it kinda felt like it had been months or years and Liam couldn’t really put his finger on what it was exactly that made him feel so differently about Niall than the others, but there was just something.

“I don’t want you to go.” Niall half whispered against Liam’s shoulder and the brunette held back a sigh.

“I know. I have to though.” They all knew it and Liam was just glad that at least the blonde had managed to stop crying.

“I know.” The blonde repeated what the older boy had said before, holding on a bit longer when Liam tried to pull away to look at him. “I wouldn’t know what to do if you don’t come back.”

“You won’t have to.” Liam promised before finally getting the blonde to look at him, keeping his hands on the boy though and trying a smile. “When I come back tomorrow you can ask me three whole questions, so you better think them through tonight.”

Niall didn’t say anything, but he returned the smile for just a second and Liam wasn’t really sure what had gotten into him when he leaned in to kiss the blonde on the forehead, just for the split of a second, but he didn’t regret it.

“Get some sleep, okay?” And with that, Liam made sure to leave, just because this had already been way more dramatic than he had anticipated, but also because Niall having reacted so heavily had thrown Liam off track.

He felt anxious when he walked out of the house by himself, trusting Zayn to protect the others if anything happened and if Liam hadn’t been afraid that they’d all die without supplies anyways, he would have turned around after only a few minutes. Instead, he just tried to hurry.

 

\--------------

 

Liam had taken two backpacks, his own and Harry’s, though he had at first doubted that he’d actually find enough to fill them both. He definitely had to walk far in order to get to where he had planned, but he also found houses on the way to check out and though he got slightly more nervous once it had gotten completely dark, Liam wasn’t actually too worried about his own safety.

He definitely saw a few infected, had to kill a few while searching through houses and stores, but he never got into a situation that he wouldn’t have been able to handle. The brunette definitely felt the biggest relief when he found medical supplies in a town and also water, because those were the things that were going to save their lives in the end, not how many infected they killed or how far they managed to walk in a day. 

The truth was, Liam felt the time pressure after only a few hours, but he pushed it into the very back of his mind so he wouldn’t get distracted and find himself in a trap. What Liam tried to think even less about was Niall or whatever it was that was going on between them, because Liam could have thought about that for days and still not have an answer to it. All he knew was that being on his own wasn’t what he would have wanted anymore and maybe he had already known that when he had left the others or the camp but Niall had definitely given him yet another reason. 

Liam kept a close look on the time of course, making sure he knew how long he had walked away from the house so that he could plan equally as much time to walk back again. He was determined to make it by 6 of course though he had made sure that the others knew it didn’t mean anything if he came slightly later, but that he would of course do anything to be on time. And if not, then they’d just meet in another spot. 

What Liam couldn’t have foreseen though was searching one of the last houses in some town he was in and all of a sudden hearing people talking outside the window. For some reason, the brunette had a really bad feeling about this and he remembered his promise to Niall and just how much they needed the supplies, so he decided to stay hidden after throwing a quick look at the people outside. They had guns with them that they were carrying openly, looking like they’d be able to snap Liam’s neck with their bare hands to get his supplies. 

This was exactly why Liam had wanted to go by himself, had the others been here somewhere as well, one of them would have been bound to run into these strangers.

Instead of taking a risk, Liam decided to stay hidden while listening to them agree to search the houses and for the first time since leaving the others, he was genuinely afraid he wouldn’t make it back. Nothing happened though, the men seemed to realize that most of the supplies were already gone and they never actually went into the house the brunette was in, but the thing was, Liam needed to wait quite some time until he could be sure again that they had moved on.

By that time, more than an hour had passed and there was absolutely no way Liam would have made it back in time for the others to still be there. He really hated himself for this, especially when he imagined Niall freaking out somewhere hours away and fearing that something might have happened to Liam, but there was nothing he could have done and it hadn’t been his fault after all.

On the way to the small town they had agreed to meet up slightly outside of, the brunette tried to think of a way to make it up to Niall though there probably wouldn’t be a need to. He was just ready to get back and relieved as hell that they would at least be fine now for another week and a half and that they wouldn’t have to worry about not having any bandages or disinfectant left.

He needed some time to find the others, since they wouldn’t wait outside but rather in a house and because none of them had ever been here before, and it was probably a little bit after 9 when Liam finally found the right house. They had agreed on putting a bunch of stones outside the door to mark it, but Liam still decided to be careful when he entered, trying not to be too excited because actually, none of this had been a big deal looking back on it, but he just couldn’t fucking wait to see Niall’s face, even if he hated himself for it.

So naturally, Liam was slightly thrown off track when he found the others, but only three of them instead of four.

“Where is Niall?” Liam honestly tried not to panic immediately, but he hadn’t even said hi to the others when he had already noticed that the blonde was missing, his pulse already having doubled and looking at the other boys’ faces, he had an actual reason to freak out, especially when they hesitated, almost looking disappointed about him being back. “Can somebody please answer my fucking question? Where the hell is he?!”

It was Harry who answered, barely looking into Liam’s face though and as soon as he spoke up, Liam literally felt his stomach turning. “He was convinced something has happened so he went looking for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey babes, i hope you all had a great week & i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)
> 
> i was super excited all day waiting to post it only to realize now (4 mins to upload) that i dont have a stupid and over dramatic title for the chapter yet haha, so i went with the first thing that popped to my mind so please ignore that haha.
> 
> anyways, i hope youre all excited to find out whats gonna happen next and i do apologize for the cliffhanger, im just a sucker for liam worrying about niall and the other way around!
> 
> let me know what you thought if you want :)


	5. Can I

“What if he’s hurt?” Niall couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t shut himself up no matter how hard he tried. It felt wrong to just sit in this house and wait, they should have gone out looking for Liam long ago.

“Niall, he’s completely fine, okay? I promise.” Harry was trying hard to make the blonde feel better, but he wasn’t really succeeding. They had been here for a little while after searching the whole area, hoping that Liam had already gotten here even though deep down Niall had known that he hadn’t. He had had this bad feeling from the very moment Liam had suggested this stupid plan that apparently everybody else seemed to think was good. 

“Then why isn’t he here?” Something must have gone wrong and they all knew it, just didn’t speak about it. Zayn was sitting in the corner sharpening his knife, Louis was studying the maps on the couch and Harry had come to sit with Niall on the window sill where the blonde was staring outside, hoping to see Liam emerge all of a sudden. “Something must have happened, he should have been back at the other house over two hours ago.”

“Maybe he just miscalculated the time he’d need or maybe he found more supplies or-“

“But he promised. He promised he’d be back by 7 the latest.” He wouldn’t have broken that promise on purpose, Niall just knew it, so how come everyone else managed to be so bloody calm? “Something happened.”

“Niall, Liam is great at self defense, there’s no way he could have gotten hurt. Maybe he just took the wrong way on accident or had to wait out a few infected walking by, anything is possible. But look how far we’ve come, there’s just no way something has happened to Liam now after all this and after only a few hours of him being alone.” It did seem unrealistic, but then again, that didn’t change the fact that something happening to Liam _was_ possible. “He’s gonna come back.”

Niall didn’t answer anymore because there was nothing left to say. Deep down he was already planning on leaving and going for a search, but he decided to give it just a few more minutes. If Liam wouldn’t come back, maybe ever, Niall wouldn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t know why he had grown such a liking to Liam so extremely fast, all he knew was that never getting to speak to him again would have destroyed him.

“You know… I was just wondering and I really get that it’s none of my business and that maybe, I don’t know, it’s weird to talk about these kinda things in the situation we’re in, but it’s not like we aren’t human anymore and-“

“Can you just ask?” Niall had let his head fall against the window, slightly annoyed that Harry was just rambling on next to him while he got more nervous with every second passing by pretty much. He was so scared it was driving him insane, maybe even more than when he had been on his own because at least then he hadn’t had another person to be worried about. 

“You like Liam, right?” What?

“Yes?” Now Niall was confused, and even more confused as to why Harry would care about that anyways. 

“I mean… _like_ like him.” At this, Niall finally turned his head to look at Harry only to see him smirk and though the blonde tried not to care about this question, he could feel his cheeks heating up. 

“Did you seriously just ask me that question? In the middle of an apocalypse?” What were they, 12?

“I guess so. Is that your answer, or… ?” Harry was definitely having too much fun right now, especially considering the situation they were in and Niall tried not to smile because actually, he had much bigger worries right now. If anything had indeed happened to Liam then it wouldn’t matter anymore what Niall’s answer to that question was.

“No. I don’t know what my answer is… I don’t know if it makes a difference, Liam’s just… “ The blonde didn’t know how to finish that sentence so he just shrugged, looking out of the window again. If Liam wouldn’t come back in a few more minutes then Niall would go looking for him, no matter what anybody said. 

“Well, he’s quite good looking.” What?

“Can you please stop, you’ve got a boyfriend over there.” Niall pretended to be shocked but the other boy just laughed anyways. 

“So what, you don’t think so?” What was Harry’s deal, honestly? And how long had he been wanting to ask Niall these questions?

“I didn’t say that, I’m not blind. But I don’t even know Liam for that long.” The blonde didn’t really know what else to say, he didn’t wanna admit that he had a crush on Liam because at this point, it kinda felt unnecessary to say it out loud.

“Who cares how long you’ve known him for? We all spend day and night together, it’s nothing like meeting somebody you like a few months ago back at home. Also… we don’t know how much longer any of us is going to be alive for, so I think you should just go for it. He obviously has a soft spot for you.” Harry almost sounded excited about this, as if he wanted them to get together or something, but Niall assumed that all of them simply wanted a distraction from what was going on. Everything he heard in Harry’s words though was just more proof that he needed to do this.

So instead of answering, Niall just threw another look at Harry’s face before sliding off of the window sill.

“What are you doing?” Harry actually did follow Niall across the room where the blonde had put his backpack, knowing that the others were also watching him now, but he honestly didn’t care. They’d know what he was up to in a few seconds anyways. “Niall?”

“I’m gonna go and look for Liam. Something happened.” The blonde was aware that the others couldn’t come with him, Zayn barely felt any loyalty towards any of them, Harry and Louis didn’t want to separate, which was understandable, and also, they wouldn’t have been any help. If anything, they would have slowed Niall down. 

“Um, what? Niall, you can’t go out, you hurt your foot yesterday and you were up all night. Liam is fine, he-“

“He what? You don’t know if he’s fine, none of us do. He was supposed to be back hours ago, he has a watch, he wouldn’t have stayed away longer on purpose, something must have happened. He promised he’d be back.” Liam wouldn’t have broken that promise to Niall, the blonde just knew it, he trusted Liam.

“So what if something happens to _you_ while you’re out looking for him? How would we know? And what if Liam comes back while you’re out there? Niall, the chances of you finding him are really small, it’d be best if we all just stayed here and… wait.” Clearly Harry didn’t have any arguments and even if he had had any, Niall wouldn’t have changed his mind. In fact, he had already put on his backpack with the little supplies inside he had had left. 

“Wait for what? If he’s hurt then he can’t make it back on his own, I’m not gonna sit here and wait for him to die.” Niall wasn’t screaming around just yet, but he would be soon if Harry didn’t shut up and just let him go. Also, Louis looked a whole lot like he thought Niall should stay here as well, but it was actually Zayn who spoke up first.

“If I may interject for a second. Niall, I know you’re in love with Liam or something, but we can’t let you go on your own, it’s dangerous. Also for us if Liam comes back and finds out we let you go, you know, being alone out there is a whole lot different than having people watching out for you and-“

“I was alone for three weeks before I found the others, I know what I’m doing.” Right, Zayn didn’t have a clue about any of them because Liam didn’t want them to answer his questions too much and he had stopped asking them anyways. Niall’s words seemed to have surprised the other boy though because he needed a second to respond.

“Oh, well. I didn’t know that, I just assumed because Liam always acts like none of you can handle a knife...” That was another reason why Niall really needed to go. Liam always protected him and maybe the blonde was reading a bit too much into all this, but he knew for a fact that Liam cared about him, at least in some way, otherwise he wouldn’t constantly be asking Niall if he was alright and he wouldn’t have been so sweet last night before he had left. He had kissed Niall’s forehead for crying out loud and the blonde NEEDED to find him. 

“Me and Haz really aren’t that good at it.” Louis threw in, shrugging his shoulders when Harry threw a look at him but Niall ignored them, he needed to stop wasting time. 

“Okay, but if Niall’s survived for three weeks on his own then I guess he would survive searching for Liam. And after all… we really don’t know if anything has happened to him.” Though Niall hadn’t really talked to Zayn all that much, he really appreciated the support even if he would have gone either ways. 

“Can you maybe not encourage him?” Harry immediately shot back but Zayn just shrugged his shoulders. “Niall, please listen to me. Liam will come back and if you go now then you’re gonna be out there for nothing and then Liam’s going to go looking for YOU and-“

“And eventually, one of us is going to find the other and then we’ll come back. I don’t care what you say, I’m going. Liam’s the only reason we’re all still here, he… anyways, I need to go find him and we’re wasting time, you can’t talk me out of it.” Niall had already made up his mind and he didn’t care what the others were saying, so he kept walking towards the door. 

“Did you at least take a map and some water?” Harry sounded like Niall’s mother, which the blonde didn’t really wanna think about though because it wasn’t exactly a happy thought. 

“Yes. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Hopefully, but Niall needed to stay positive and try not to freak out even more. Though he did believe something had happened to Liam, he didn’t allow himself to think that it might have possibly been something life threatening. 

Harry said something else, but Niall had already gone outside, making sure not to step on the stones they had put out in front of the door so Liam would be able to find them. Niall was going to find him, he didn’t care if it was dangerous or if the others didn’t want him to go because really, would any of this even matter anymore if he’d never see Liam again? Yes, Niall wanted to get to Toronto and get back home, but… he wanted Liam to be there with him.

 

\--------------

 

“Are you being serious right now?!“ Liam honestly couldn’t tell, just the idea of Niall having gone looking for him seemed so surreal that the brunette kinda felt like he needed to sit down for a moment. This couldn’t be real, there was just no bloody way.

“Yes, but L-“

“What the _fuck_?! You guys just let him go on his own, with a hurt foot?! What the hell is wrong with you?! When did he leave? Where did he go? I need to go find him.” Already having dropped both of the backpacks Liam had filled, he immediately started to take stuff out and just keep what would have been necessary in case he found Niall and something had happened to the blonde. Just the thought though made Liam wanna puke his guts out, he was so fucking pissed off, he couldn’t even think clearly anymore.

“We didn’t want him to go, okay? We told him you’re fine, he was up all night worrying about you and then you didn’t show up by 6 or by 7 and he already wanted to go looking for you there but we all thought you were already here. So then we searched the whole area, but it was obvious you weren’t here yet. Niall almost lost it half an hour ago, we didn’t know how to keep him here, we couldn’t have just tie him up or something. Also, there was a possibility something might have actually happened and-“

“Where did he go?” Liam simply interrupted Harry’s attempt trying to explain himself, it was obvious that he and Louis felt guilty, but Liam honestly didn’t care about that.

“I don’t know, I suppose the same way you just came from. Or-“

“Great, you didn’t even bother asking where he went?! _Clearly_ he went somewhere else if he didn’t run into me. Fuck, I can’t do this anymore with you guys, can you just for _once_ try and not make my life a hundred times harder?!” It wasn’t anybody’s fault of course, Liam was just so frustrated after all those hours on his own and looking forward to getting back because he had felt so terrible after Niall had reacted the way he had. If anything happened to the blonde, Liam would never be able to forgive himself.

“To their defense, Niall had already made up his mind and they tried to make him stay.” Zayn sounded calm, maybe slightly annoyed, and Liam simply threw a death glare at him. 

“And you didn’t?” It was obvious that though Zayn didn’t want to be alone, he wouldn’t have looked back had he found another group, a better one. 

“I actually thought it was a good idea.” Um, what the fuck?! “Not that I encouraged him or anything, but we were all worried about you. I didn’t know at first that Niall has been on his own for so long, I thought he couldn’t fight from the way you kept protecting him, but he told me before so like… it’s not like he’s gonna die or anything.”

“Are you really that stupid?! He twisted his ankle, he hasn’t slept, he was crying last night and probably today and he thinks I’m dead, he’s clearly in no condition to go out by himself!” Liam was thankful that Zayn had been there to protect the others while he had been gone, but clearly, he had done more damage than good.

“Oh my god, just because you’re in love with him doesn’t mean he’s not capable of defending himself. There was a possibility something might have actually happened to you and only me or Niall could have gone out looking for you and he wanted to do it, so why would I have talked him out of it? We also couldn’t have all gone together in case you showed up here and from what I’ve gathered, Harry and Louis need a babysitter. If anything it’s _your_ fault for being so fucking late. Just look at your own reaction now, this is how Niall’s felt all night. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have gone looking for him if your places were switched.” Fuck Zayn and his logical reasoning, Liam was so done with all of it, he knew it was his own fault, he just couldn’t bear to think about it. “So, what are we gonna do now?”

“You guys stay here in case he comes back, I’ll go looking for him.” A bad plan, but then again, so were all of their plans. 

“And if you don’t find him? Are you just never gonna come back, or… ?” Zayn sounded slightly sarcastic but Liam didn’t bother with another death glare, he was wasting so much time right now, Niall could have already gotten to god knows where. 

“If I’m not back in a day then keep going towards Toronto, if you stay on the route I marked on the map I gave you I can catch up with you eventually once I found Niall.” And if he wouldn’t find him, well, there was no reason anymore for Liam to go anywhere at all. “The supplies I found will last more than a week, even longer if you’re only three.”

“This is insane.” Louis finally threw in and Liam knew that he was right, but he had already emptied his backpack except for a few essential things, anxious to finally get outside again. He hadn’t known how much he really cared about Niall until he had walked through this door and noticed that the blonde was gone. “We won’t go without either of you, what do another few days matter?”

“I don’t care what you guys do, but if you leave this house then leave a note for Niall and tell him to wait here for me, in case he comes back before I find him.” Liam WOULD find him, he had to, he wouldn’t give up until he had. “I need to go, the longer I wait the further away he’s going to get.” 

“Liam, wait, I… we all know how much you and Niall like each other even if we don’t quite get it, but I really am sorry for letting him go by himself. We were all genuinely scared that something might have happened to you and… we really appreciate what you’re doing. We wouldn’t even be alive anymore if it weren’t for you and we’re definitely not leaving without you guys.” Louis sounded very serious and Harry was nodding along with everything he was saying, but it was Zayn who caught Liam’s attention. 

“I’m gonna stay for a few days, but if you don’t come back I’m gonna move on and I don’t mind Harry and Louis coming with me but I won’t stick around here forever. I’m thankful for what you did and we don’t owe each other anything anymore, so I hope you don’t still think I’m an asshole.” Well, he kinda was, but he was also right. Zayn had killed the two infected that had been trying to bite Liam and he had shared all his supplies without asking, so now they were even.

“There’s no need to discuss all this really, Liam will find Niall and then they’ll come back and we just keep going, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” No idea if Harry was just trying to make himself believe that or the others, but Liam just nodded, sharing another look with Zayn to tell him that they were cool. Well, not really, but the brunette was dealing with bigger problems. “Please be careful.”

“I always am.” Liam joked half-heartedly, not wanting to drag this out any longer because there was no need to really. But just because he wasn’t really sure when they’d see each other again, he tried to get over his pride for a second. “You too. Also… I’m kinda glad I took you guys with me after you stalked me.”

There, they could do with that whatever they wanted, Liam had already turned around once more before waiting for their reactions. He was still angry of course, but it was unnecessary to blame the others or let it out on them because the damage was already done and Liam needed to try and keep a clear head. Which was kinda hard considering he felt quite like bursting into tears the moment he had stepped outside the house.

 

\-----------------

 

Since no one had given Liam any direction whatsoever, he took a different way than the one he had just come from, seeing as Niall clearly hadn’t run into him. Of course it was hard as hell to try and keep a clear state of mind because Liam was so worried it was basically eating him alive, but he also didn’t really have anything other to do than keep an eye out. And to not start crying like a baby because that surely wouldn’t have helped him. 

Honestly, Liam was slightly conflicted about the way he felt for Niall. He did like him and he cared about him, something he hadn’t wanted to allow to happen ever again after what he had seen, what he had done. But it’s not like Liam could have controlled his feelings and now it was more like, he had lost too many people, had done unimaginable things, he wasn’t about to lose somebody else he cared about. Whatever else he felt for Niall except friendship, Liam didn’t really wanna explore it any further, especially not now. Maybe never. 

All he cared about was finding Niall and then no matter whatever else happened afterwards, Liam would never let any of this happen again. Next time they needed supplies, he wouldn’t keep Niall from coming with him, no way. Of course it was dangerous, but honestly, Niall was probably safest with Liam because Liam doubted that Zayn would have protected him like he would have. 

Of course Liam also kinda cared about Louis and Harry, which was bad because it put him under even more time pressure. If Zayn left, Liam was almost 100% sure that Harry and Louis wouldn’t have gone with him, which meant they’d be alone at this house they were in now and probably in even more danger than Niall was because they COULD defend themselves, but they could only handle about one infected person at a time. And they’d definitely blabber too much in case other people stumbled upon them and then they’d either get killed or robbed because of the supplies Liam had left them.

So in short, this situation actually couldn’t have actually gotten any worse, only if Liam found Niall and the blonde was… well, he really didn’t even dare to imagine it. Niall was fine, he had to be.

It wasn’t hard recreating the way Liam had taken before, it had only been a few minutes ago after all and he also had the maps, so he wasn’t worried about getting lost. But he was fucking _terrified_ about Niall getting lost and walking even further away from him or the towns Liam had searched during the night. What if Liam would just never find him again? Not knowing whether he was dead or alive? Niall would just be gone, like that, as if he had never existed.

The town Liam had had to hide in before was empty now when Liam arrived what seemed like an eternity later, he didn’t exactly keep watch on the clock because it didn’t matter anymore. Once again, Liam searched every single house and the surrounding area, but there wasn’t a single person around, normal or infected, and though it was what Liam had expected, he still felt frustrated and even more anxious than before.

Liam was also worried about those guys he had hidden from before, not because he thought they’d do anything to him now that he barely had any supplies left, but rather because he was afraid they’d run into Niall and then who knew what would happen. Or maybe other people, anything was possible and just the simple thought made Liam walk even faster, trying not to become sloppy though with searching the houses. 

Hours must have passed by where Liam didn’t see a soul, something he wasn’t really used to anymore. Before during the night he hadn’t really noticed, but now that he was _desperate_ to see any kind of movement in case it was Niall, of course the area was dead empty. It made things even worse to be honest, because there was no sort of distraction for Liam, he was all alone with his own thoughts, which, stupidly enough, reminded him of the questions game Niall had invented to keep his mind off things.

If Liam found him, he’d allow the blonde to ask him any question he wanted, whenever he wanted.

 

\-----------------

 

“Where did he go? I told you not to let him run, he tried to steal our shit!” Niall’s heart was beating so fast he didn’t even dare to breathe, he was ironically enough hiding in a closet, just like he always seemed to do whenever somebody came for him. He was gonna die if he made a sound, he just knew it. 

“He’s gotta be around here somewhere, let’s search the whole town. I want that map he was holding.” Fuck, fuck, fuck.

There were more noises outside the house Niall was hiding in before the voices became more quiet, probably because they had split up to go looking for him. Niall wanted to cry, he didn’t know what to do, he had been out almost all day by now searching for Liam and he hadn’t found him, so logically when he had seen an abandoned backpack, he had assumed somebody had left it there. How had he been supposed to know that it belonged to these guys? 

Niall had basically made a run for it as soon as one of them had turned up and yelled at him from afar to stop going through his shit, which had come as a surprise to the blonde because he hadn’t thought anybody was around, so he had been studying the map, trying to figure out where Liam could have gone next. So now he was hiding in a closet once more, once again with the knowledge that these people would kill him if they found him. Then again, he had also thought the same about Liam at first and now he was out here searching for him because he couldn’t live without him. 

It felt like hours passed by where all Niall could think was that Liam could have walked by any moment and not known Niall was here. Or he could have long gotten to the house and realized Niall was gone and maybe, just maybe, he didn’t care all that much about Niall and maybe the others didn’t either and then they’d just go to Toronto alone, leaving him behind. Not that Niall thought any of them were terrible people, but honestly, why would they risk their lives for him? Why would they waste all that time when they barely even knew him?

And yeah, Niall would have done anything for Liam at this point, but that didn’t mean the brunette would have done the same thing. After all, it had been Niall’s decision to go out by himself and also, it didn’t really matter anymore whether anybody waited or searched for him because he wasn’t sure if he’d still be alive in an hour. Or maybe in a minute.

More time passed and there was no more sounds, but the blonde didn’t allow himself to feel relieved, he just stood there with a hand in front of his mouth, crying silently while thinking about all the things these guys were gonna do to him once they found him, all these things he had wanted to say to Liam that he’d never get to say now. At some point, he thought he could faintly hear gunshots in the distance, but really, that could have been anybody and it’s not like he’d ever find out.

It was probably already dark outside when Niall heard a noise from downstairs and his heart stopped for a second. His legs really hurt from standing in one spot for so long and his hand was cramping from covering his own mouth so he wouldn’t breathe too loudly. He was on the upper level of the house, but it was so dead quiet that Niall could hear every single step that person made, every door they opened and every closet.

Honestly, he didn’t know what his last thought was before somebody ripped open the door of the closet he was hiding in, his eyes pressed shut as he put his hands up, not being able to help a sob escaping him. “Please don’t, I’m sorry!”

 

\------------

 

It was about to get dark by the time Liam heard some noises that made him wary, slowing down his rather quick walk in favor of hiding behind some trees while approaching the source. He would have simply kept walking had he not thought that maybe it was Niall, because the blonde could have been anywhere really and Liam would be damned if he didn’t at least check.

Upon coming closer though, he very quickly realized that it were strangers having been overrun by a few infected and, as far as Liam could tell from a distance, were about to lose. For a second or two, Liam told himself to just ignore it, just keep walking and not bother, but then suddenly he had an image of this being Niall and who knew, these people might have somebody looking for them as well and the brunette wasn’t a monster after all. 

A while ago he wouldn’t have even thought twice about leaving, but now he got his gun out, honestly hating himself as he came closer, shooting about five infected in the head and wasting his bullets for these strangers only to realize that it were the guys he had been hiding from this morning. Fucking hell, WHY?

They only had to kill about three more after Liam had shown up and the brunette just stood there, waiting for them to catch their breath before looking around in confusion until they finally noticed him. Honestly, Liam should have run, but it didn’t really look like they wanted to hurt him, especially not after he had just saved their asses.

“Thank you, man, that was real nice.” One of them spoke up, seemingly relieved and Liam just nodded, keeping a hold of his gun though as he briefly scanned the men standing in front of him, ready to just keep walking. “Are you alone?”

“No.” Liam answered after some hesitation because he didn’t want these people to think that they could just get away with robbing him. Instead, he simply started to walk away again seeing as there was no need to stick around here and wait for more infected to come after hearing the gunshots.

“We just came from the direction you’re walking into, so don’t bother. There’s nothing left.” At this, Liam slowed down a bit until he had stopped once more, half turning around to look at the man who had spoken, his eyes suddenly getting stuck on something he hadn’t noticed before. 

One of them was carrying Niall’s backpack. 

“There’s also nothing left in the direction you’re walking into.” For just a second, Liam had considered telling them that he was looking for someone, but what he had seen gave him even more reason to keep his mouth shut, panic filling his stomach as he tried to keep it together, pointing into a vague direction over his shoulder. “Did you walk through that town?”

“Yeah, all the houses are empty. Listen, do you have a camp by any chance? We’ve been out here pretty much since it started and we’ve got nowhere to go.” Now they almost sounded desperate and Liam felt anger coiling in his stomach, knowing that he needed to get away from here as fast as somehow possible. 

“No, I don’t. I don’t think there are any camps.” He might have been right after all, who knew. 

“Alright, well… if you’re on your own-“

“I’m not.” Liam interrupted, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t ask that one question he wanted to ask so freaking badly and instead turning around to keep walking, ignoring whatever else the men behind him asked. They didn’t come after him, but they were walking straight into the direction Liam had come from, where the other three were hiding.

Honestly though, this was Liam’s smallest problem right now as he tried to hurry, eventually half running because it was getting darker by the minute and he needed to reach that town as soon as possible. He had been here during the night, which now seemed years in the past, so at least he somehow knew his way around a little bit, even though that wasn’t really helping all that much.

Liam was afraid to call out for Niall or make too much noise, plus, he was definitely prepared for the worst as he walked through the streets, thoroughly checking the houses, his heart sinking with every house he left that had been completely empty. He was so fucking terrified after seeing them carrying the blonde’s backpack, he could barely even breathe. What had they done to get it? Hurt him? … Killed him? 

About halfway done, Liam actually considered that maybe he had been mistaken or maybe Niall wasn’t here anymore, maybe he was outside the town, hurt and probably bleeding out. At this point, Liam didn’t care anymore if he stumbled upon any infected or made too much noise, he simply tore open ever door and every closet, just wanting to be as fast as somehow possible.

Only to almost have a heart attack when he heard somebody speak upon opening another closet in a rush. “Please don’t, I’m sorry!”

It took a second or two for Liam to realize that Niall was standing right in front of him because he couldn’t actually believe it, he was just staring at the blonde in almost complete darkness, his eyes still closed and his back all the way pressed against the wall of the closet. Liam could have cried from happiness, so that’s what he did.

“Fuck, Niall.” The blonde didn’t really have a chance to blink his eyes open when Liam had already pulled him into a bone crushing hug, pressing his face into the younger’s hair, feeling tears dripping down his cheeks as he held onto the blonde, feeling Niall’s arms wrapping around him in return once he had realized that it was Liam. Fucking hell, Liam was the luckiest person on this whole damn planet. “Fuck, I thought you were dead, I’ve been out looking for you all day, how could you do this to me?! I told you I’d be back, I promised I’d be back, Niall!”

“I’m sorry, I-I… we waited for so long, I thought something happened to you, I… why were you so late?” Niall still sounded hurt and Liam immediately felt a rush of guilt overcoming him, refusing to let go of Niall though. He didn’t want to end the hug, not just yet. 

“I had to hide for hours from some guys because I had so many supplies, they would have surely taken them from me or tried to kill me…. The same guys that took your backpack.” As soon as Liam had noticed Niall’s backpack over one of the guy’s shoulders before, he had honestly thought he had just saved the people who had killed Niall. Or at least injured him. 

“How… how do you know?” Niall sounded confused but at the same time also a bit breathless and as if he had been crying. Well, he wasn’t the only one. 

“I just saw them before, they were attacked by some infected and I… I helped them out because I didn’t realize. When we were talking I saw that one of them had your backpack and… fuck, Ni, I thought they killed you or hurt you.” But they hadn’t, Niall was obviously fine if he could cling to Liam that tightly without even flinching.

“They almost did… I accidentally went through one of their backpacks, I thought someone had abandoned it and… then they saw me and I ran away and I had to leave my stuff except the map. I was in here for hours waiting for them to leave, when you opened the door, I… I thought that you were one of them… “ A shudder went through the younger’s body and Liam held him tighter if any possible, pressing his lips against the side of Niall’s head just because he could. He was so happy, he just didn’t care anymore. 

“It’s all good now, I’m here, I found you. We’ll be fine.” Suddenly Liam felt as if absolutely everything was possible. He didn’t really wanna let go of Niall but he did pull away slightly after a moment, just so he could look at the younger boy, cupping his face in his palms because why would he have held back? “Are you okay? Did you get hurt or anything?”

“No, ‘m fine, nothing happened… you?” It was hard to tell whether Niall was blushed or not, but his skin had turned warm underneath Liam’s as he looked at the older boy, darkness slowly spreading in the room they were in. 

“I’m good. How’s your foot? It probably really hurts after you’ve been walking all day and running on it, doesn’t it?” Of course it was, but Liam had more bandages that he had taken with him before when he had left the others and also pain killers in case it got worse. 

“Not really, I don’t think I hurt it bad or anything. I told you I was fine last night.” Now Niall almost sounded as if he was pouting a little bit and just because he couldn’t help it, Liam let out a quiet laugh before leaning in to kiss the blonde’s forehead, keeping his lips there for longer this time and closing his eyes before pulling the younger boy back against his body. Niall almost immediately hugged him as well, almost melting into Liam.

For a moment, Liam didn’t say anything, he just held onto Niall, let himself be happy and relieved, still not quite having gotten it into his head. Even when he had gotten to the house and noticed Niall’s absence, he hadn’t known it’d be this overwhelming to see him again and hug him, well and alive. The longer Liam thought about it, the more did he realize how lucky he had been to have found Niall here, that they hadn’t walked past each other or something and honestly, he wasn’t gonna ask for anything else anymore. 

“Are the others waiting for us at the house?” Niall asked after a while, quietly, as if not to disturb the silence and Liam didn’t wanna let him go just yet so he kept holding on.

“Yeah… I told them to move on if I don’t come back with you within a day, but Harry and Louis said they’d wait for us no matter what. And Zayn said he’d wait a couple days before he’d leave, so we’re good.” Never in a billion years had Liam genuinely thought he’d find Niall within a day if he was being honest with himself here, but fuck, he was so glad that he had been wrong. “I think we should wait until tomorrow to go back, they’re not going anywhere and it’s dark, I don’t really wanna take the risk, especially with those guys out there… “

“But what if they find the others?” Niall sounded slightly worried, but otherwise not too much as if he hated Liam’s idea. Liam could suddenly feel his exhaustion kicking in after not having slept in so long and he didn’t know about Niall, but if he trusted the other three then the blonde had been up most of the night crying and worrying.

“I only just saw them, they’re too far away from the others. I doubt they’d walk at night, I’m sure they’ll sleep somewhere as well and the chances of them finding exactly that house tomorrow are pretty slim and besides, we’ll be going there in the morning as well.” Of course Liam was a bit worried, but not really anymore now that he was holding Niall in his arms. He did care about the others, but not as much as about the blonde. “But if you really want to then we can go back right now.”

“No, you’ve been up since ages, you should really sleep a bit.” At this, Niall pulled away very slowly, much to Liam’s dismay but of course he let the blonde, still keeping his arms on his hips though. 

“You should too.” Judging by Niall’s reaction to that, it was obvious that he hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night, but Liam decided not to comment it. Instead he gave the blonde a squeeze before letting his hands slip, walking across the room to close the door.

They pushed a desk in front of the door, as quietly as possible, just to be safe. The room they were in was clearly a bedroom that had probably belonged to a teenager or something, but Liam tried not to think about it in depth because it wasn’t exactly a nice thought. There was only a single bed though and they almost never slept in beds, but seeing as they were already in here… 

“You can sleep in the bed, I-“

“No, you should sleep, I can stay awake and keep watch, I’m fine.” Niall interrupted, but he sat down next to Liam on the bed while the brunette was going through the little supplies he had taken, handing the blonde his water bottle and a granola bar. He thought about protesting, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay awake forever, even if he wanted to. So instead, he just blurted out with his thoughts.

“We can share the bed.” Liam shrugged, the room too dark now to see Niall’s face so Liam simply ate something as well, biting back a laugh when he heard the blonde choking a bit on the water from what Liam had just said.

“I… yeah, I mean, sure. Okay.” He was clearly a bit nervous about it, but the brunette decided that it didn’t mean anything and also, why would it matter if they shared a bed? And why would either of them have slept on the floor if they didn’t have to? There’d be enough nights to come where they’d have to be uncomfortable.

They quickly ate, neither of them taking off their shoes or clothes of course because they never did obviously, in case anything happened while they were sleeping they needed to be ready to get up immediately. Liam had taken his own blanket with him as well so at least they didn’t have to share that even though it honestly wouldn’t have mattered anymore now because once they had lied down, they were so awfully close that there were barely a few centimeters between them. 

“I’m afraid I’ll pass out in a few minutes if I lie down.” Niall had turned onto his side so they’d have more space so Liam did the same without thinking until they were facing each other in almost complete darkness. It was so quiet in the house and outside that Liam could hear every tiny breath Niall took, every time he moved the sheets. 

“’s okay if you do.” Liam was fine with letting the blonde sleep for a while before going to sleep himself, however, he didn’t seem to be the only one with that plan.

“I won’t. It’s not even that late, is it? It only just got dark.” He was right, however, Liam couldn’t have checked his watch right now because he wouldn’t have been able to see anything. They’d be able to sleep for quite a bit though, that was for sure. “You can really sleep, Li, it’s alright, I’m awake.”

“Li, huh?” Liam had already let his eyes fall closed, knowing that the blonde was blushing without being able to see him. It’d be a lie to say that the nickname hadn’t cause Liam’s tummy to do a little flip.

“Yeah, I… I thought it’d fit mine.” The blonde half whispered after some hesitation and Liam found himself smiling. “Before you sleep in, um… can I ask you a question?”

“You can ask me any question you want.” Liam wasn’t going to take back what he had sworn himself before, that he’d answer any question the blonde had no matter how many more followed. 

“If, uh… if you hadn’t found me tonight… “ Niall started, already having caught Liam’s attention because this was clearly not at all what he had been expecting. Especially not when the younger boy continued. “Would you have, like… would you have gone back to the others and… and kept going towards Toronto?”

This startled Liam a lot, because what? Why on earth would Niall think something like that? “Niall, you know I’m only going there for you, right? Not for Louis or Harry or myself. If you told me right now you don’t wanna go anymore then I wouldn’t care either. And besides that, I would have never left you behind, I told the others to keep going without me in case I take longer to find you, but I would have kept searching. Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“I don’t know… I just… I know you don’t wanna go to Toronto and I just… we’ve already lost so much time because Harry drove us so far away and everything, I just… I wasn’t sure. Like, if maybe… if maybe you guys would decide that you’d keep going and-“

“I would have never left you behind in a million years, okay? And I never would, that’s a promise.” Liam simply interrupted the blonde, because what? Honestly, it kinda hurt a bit to know that Niall had been worried about this kinda stuff, all while he himself had been out here searching for Liam because he had thought he had gotten hurt. 

“Okay… “ Niall sounded relieved, moving around a bit in bed before speaking up again, half whispering though. “Can I ask another question?”

“Yes.” Was all Liam whispered back, a little worried though about what was going to come next after this. 

The blonde didn’t ask immediately, he actually took quite some time and Liam would have thought that he had fallen asleep if he hadn’t known just how eager Niall was to stay awake so that Liam could sleep instead. So when he spoke up, he asked really quickly, almost making it sound like only a single word. “Do you like me more than the others?”

“You know I do.” He did, right? Liam felt his stomach tingling a bit after that question and his own answer, but it wasn’t a secret after all, everyone else had already noticed as well. Especially Zayn.

Niall took another moment to let that sink in apparently, all Liam knew was that he suddenly felt more awake than ever as they lied in silence. “And… can I… “

The blonde started, but he actually never finished his question even though Liam suddenly felt his heart speeding up, not saying anything. He just lied still, waiting, not really knowing what to think, but he felt his stomach grow warm when Niall suddenly moved quite abruptly, leaning over to press his lips against Liam’s cheek, or at least that was what he had probably been aiming for. He did end up kissing the corner of Liam’s mouth before lying back again right away and the brunette was pretty sure there were about a hundred butterflies in his stomach right now.

If Niall had kissed him on the lips right now, Liam wouldn’t have minded one bit, but he was happier about this than he would have thought. Though Niall didn’t speak up again or ask any more questions, he clearly stayed awake and for once Liam didn’t hold back as he wanted to reach out for the younger boy, finding his face in the darkness. Niall didn’t move one bit and it seemed as if he was holding his breath while Liam was touching his skin, mapping his features without being able to see anything.

Maybe Liam would have hesitated to do that normally, but it kinda didn’t feel weird at all in that moment and he could feel his hear hammering in his chest as he brushed his thumb over the blonde’s cheekbone. They had all been outside for months without being able to ever properly get cleaned up, Niall’s face would sometimes get really red from the sun and overall they were all kinda dirty, but Liam didn’t care. He still ran his fingers through the blonde’s hair, somehow not being able to stop himself from touching Niall because he was afraid he wouldn’t get himself to reach out for him again. 

Eventually though, Liam let his hand come to a rest while still cupping the younger’s cheek, kinda wanting to say something, but he wasn’t able to think of anything so they both stayed quiet for a moment. Liam kinda thought Niall had fallen asleep until the blonde moved a bit, not backing away from the brunette though, just rearranging his position a bit.

“Are you asleep?” Niall whispered, probably unsure because Liam had stopped stroking his hair and it almost made the brunette smile to think that Niall had wanted him to continue. 

“No.” Liam whispered back, but his tiredness from before was slowly creeping back. 

“The longer you stay awake for the later I can sleep.” It was obviously a joke, but Liam was still stunned for a moment before he heard the blonde chuckle softly. “I was just kidding.”

“You’re right though, sorry. I’ll try to sleep now.” Liam did feel slightly bad, but he still smiled to himself, rubbing his thumb over the younger’s cheek once more. “Wake me when you get too tired.”

“Okay… Liam?” The brunette almost flinched a bit when he suddenly felt Niall’s hand covering his own, keeping it pressed against the younger’s face as if he was afraid Liam might have pulled it away otherwise.

“Yes?” No idea what Liam had expected, but it certainly wasn’t what Niall said.

“All of this is really shit and I know we’d all change it in a heartbeat, but… I’m so happy I met you.” The fact that somebody who Liam had pointed a gun towards would use the word happy in order to describe meeting him caused the brunette’s throat to tighten up a bit, but when he answered, he was being completely honest.

“I’m happy I met you too, Ni.”

 

\------------

 

Nothing happened during the night and Niall kinda got over his tiredness after a while. His whole body still felt tingly from what he and Liam had talked about, from the hugs and the forehead kisses and the older’s hand still holding the side of his face even while he slept. Obviously Niall was kinda keeping Liam’s hand there a little bit, but Liam had put it there in the first place and gone to sleep like that and the blonde still couldn’t believe it.

The fact alone that Liam had come looking for Niall and actually found him was mind blowing, but all the things he had said about only doing this for Niall and how he wouldn’t have ever left him behind… it made the blonde feel a whole lot of other things that reminded him about the conversation that he had had with Harry. 

Despite everything, the whole mess they were in and the fact that they had absolutely no idea what might happen tomorrow or even in an hour, Niall was so giddy because of the thing between him and Liam, whatever it was. He definitely had a massive crush on the older boy and Harry had been right after all, why would it matter for how long they had known each other for? Why would Niall have NOT let Liam know that he really liked him? Because very obviously and for whatever reason, Liam liked the blonde back. 

Niall did plan on waking Liam but he never did, he might have drifted off a little bit during the night because suddenly the sun was coming up and the blonde was finally able to look at the older boy sleeping opposite him. So then Niall really didn’t want to wake him anymore, also because he wasn’t even that tired anymore anyways and Liam had been up all night moving, so he needed the rest a lot more than the blonde.

The more selfish reason Niall had though was that he quite enjoyed looking at Liam while he was asleep, their faces only a few centimeters apart because of how small the bed was. Of course Niall wanted to get back to the others, but this right here wasn’t too bad, he just was a little bit scared that Liam would switch back to being more distant again once he was awake. Especially in front of the others. 

Niall had no idea how late it was and he didn’t really feel like lifting his head to look out the window, so he kept lying there staring at Liam until the room had gotten lighter, only then slowly letting go of Liam’s hand against his cheek, instead reaching out to touch the older boy’s face. Maybe Niall should have expected it, but he still flinched when Liam did the moment the blonde’s fingers touched his temple.

“Sorry, I didn’t wanna wake you.” Niall immediately apologized when Liam opened his eyes, obviously panicked for a moment thinking something had happened. He only dropped his hand slowly though, letting it rest on Liam’s arm between them instead. 

“It’s already light outside.” Liam noticed after a moment and the blonde just nodded, knowing exactly what the brunette was going to ask next when he saw his confused face. “Wait… why didn’t you wake me? Have you been up all night?”

“Yeah, but I’m fine, I promise. I didn’t wanna wake you, you were sleeping so tight and you get the least sleep out of the five of us.” The blonde argued, already thinking about further building his argument but Liam had already sighed, clearly not happy with Niall’s decision but hopefully feeling a little bit better. “I might have… drifted off for a minute or two, but I would have immediately noticed if anybody had been trying to get in here.”

“It’s okay, I probably would have noticed as well. I still wanted you to get some sleep though… you can sleep now, we don’t have to get back just yet.” Okay, the brunette sounded a lot as if he wouldn’t have minded never going back if Niall was being honest, but he knew they had to and he also wanted to. Besides, he wasn’t even tired anyways. 

“We should though, ‘m sure the others are worried. If they’re only half as worried as I was when you were gone… “ Then they were still going insane and also, what if they would get crazy ideas and try to find them and then it’d be like a never ending circle of them looking for one another until eventually, something serious would happen to one of them. Not to Liam though, Niall would never leave him out of his sight again, next time the brunette wanted to go somewhere on his own, Niall would simply go with him without asking. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been so late. This is all my fault.” It really wasn’t, but when Niall had already opened his mouth to tell the brunette that, Liam was shutting him up by simply rubbing the back of his fingers down the blonde’s cheek. “Let’s go, you can still sleep a bit once we’re there, we’re not in a rush.”

“But we already lost a whole day because I’ve been stupid, so-“

“You weren’t stupid, Ni. I would have gone looking for you too. I did. But we’re fine now and we’ll go back and then we’ll just keep going.” The way Liam said it almost made it sound as if he was the one who wanted to go to Toronto, but seeing as he had said that he was just doing it for Niall basically… it was still causing the blonde’s stomach to tingle. “Are you thirsty?”

They had something to drink and a bit to eat, the moment they both got out of bed and brought more distance between one another almost instantly made the blonde miss Liam even though he was right there. That was what he had been afraid of sleeping next to Liam and being so close and all that, it’d only make him want even more.

It was early in the morning, so that was probably influencing Niall a lot, but stepping outside with Liam by his side already made him feel a hundred times safer than when he had been on his own. “What if we bump into those jerks again? Maybe they remember what I look like.”

“I thought you ran away?” Liam sounded a bit worried, they had already left town and were walking back probably the exact same way Niall had come from, but he couldn’t really remember anymore. 

“I did, but like… I don’t know.” Niall was just a bit scared, but he didn’t wanna say it out loud, flinching a little bit when Liam suddenly wrapped his arm around his shoulders. 

“You don’t need to afraid, we’ll take a slightly different way and I promise it’ll be fine. I doubt they’d recognize you and I’d protect you anyways.” He made it sound like the most normal thing in the whole world, as if Niall should’ve thought of that himself and if he was being honest then yes, he did suddenly feel a lot safer. “Hey, remember what I said before I left? About the three questions?”

“Yeah, but I already asked them last night.” Right, saying that out loud made Niall blush unnecessarily much and he couldn’t really hide it right now either because of how close they were. 

“Well… “ Liam started before shrugging, which the blonde felt because the brunette still had his arm wrapped around him. “I decided that… I don’t actually mind you asking me questions, so… you can ask as many as you want, I guess.”

Okay that had come slightly out of nowhere, also, Liam seemed to be in a really good mood, he was a lot more talkative than usually whenever they walked and the blonde tried not to get too hyped about it just in case it wouldn’t stick, but for now he couldn’t really think about anything else. “I’d be careful saying that.”

“Well, let’s see how many you can ask me then until we get back to the house.” He really seemed to want Niall to for some weird reason, and hell, he wouldn’t need to ask twice. Asking Liam questions was everything that had kept Niall distracted for the past few days, so he had them all categorized in his head by now and Liam was definitely in for a surprise. 

They basically had all day ahead of them, also because they weren’t walking too fast, so Niall had hours upon hours to get to know Liam better. He made sure to stay away from too personal questions of course and also questions he knew would have made Liam uncomfortable because he knew as much by now. To his surprise though, Liam actually started asking things back after a while and just for the day, Niall pretended that they weren’t living through the end of the world.

Well, except those few times they stumbled upon a few infected, but that was a different story.

It wasn’t actually too late when they arrived at the house and Niall was a bit torn between being excited and slightly afraid that maybe Liam would build his walls back up. They didn’t just burst inside of course, Liam actually made Niall wait behind the house for a moment while he checked the windows or something, knocking on the door then to let the others know that they weren’t strangers. The thing was though, there was no answer or noise.

“Maybe they’re sleeping.” Niall half whispered, already feeling panic rising in his stomach. Oh god, what if something had happened? 

“It’s 4 pm. Stay behind me.” Liam reached for his gun, which only got Niall more nervous, but he did what he had been told, already expecting the worst when Liam promptly ripped the door open. Only to find nothing at all. 

“Where did they go? I thought they wanted to wait?” It’d be a lie to say Niall wasn’t hurt, but judging by Liam’s facial expression, he was assuming way worse things when they slowly entered. “Maybe… maybe they went out looking for more supplies. Zayn couldn’t have gone on his own, Harry and Louis don’t know how to defend themselves. If we wait, maybe they’ll be back in a bit.”

For a moment, Liam didn’t say anything, he just scanned the room the others had sat in when Niall had last seen them, the window sill he had been sitting on waiting for Liam. “They won’t be back.”

“I… what? Why? How do you know?” It were unnecessary questions really, because Niall had already figured out what Liam had been looking at.

Niall needed a second to be able to read what had been carved into the wooden floor because it wasn’t very neat, more as if it had been done in a rush. Which it had probably had been, judging by what it read. 

 

_Had to go – Z_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys :)
> 
> sorry this was a few minutes late, i was at the cinema! anyways, i hope you enjoyed the chapter and i hope youre happy about the niam reunion bc i sure was while writing it haha!
> 
> thank you all so much for all the support, you guys are the best <3


	6. As long as I got you

“What does that mean? Do you think somebody found them? Like, the guys that took my backpack?” Niall was clearly getting more panicked by the second, Liam had made sure to close the door behind them once they had entered, starting to search the house in case anybody was in here or maybe just for a hint of what could have happened while Niall was just following him.

“I don’t know… if anybody found them, how would they have had time to carve that into the floor?” Liam was slightly suspicious and once again feeling guilty even though he would have done it all over again. Niall was his priority and the others knew that. “Also, why does it say Zayn only?”

“Well, if he didn’t have a lot of time then… but I agree, writing L or H would have been a lot faster. So what if… oh my god, Li, what if he didn’t even write it for us? What if he wrote it for Louis and Harry?” Oh.

At this, Liam immediately stopped walking to turn around and face the blonde, now suddenly feeling panicked as well. “Shit. I knew we shouldn’t have trusted him, he-“

“Li, he left a message, it’s not like he just left. Also, if he had simply walked away, Harry and Louis would still be here and waiting for us, right?” Right, nothing made sense anymore, Liam was just so confused and slightly scared, the only relief he felt coming from the fact that at least he had Niall with him and whatever had happened here, at least Niall hadn’t been there to get in the middle of it. “Or… or maybe he only wrote his own name because he’s the only one left.”

“No, no he couldn’t be… “ Liam shook his head, but sharing a look with Niall, they both knew well enough that it wasn’t impossible. It wasn’t impossible any of them died at any given moment really, they just tried not to think about it most of the time. “He’d have written that in the message.”

“But if he barely had any time then he wouldn’t have… he couldn’t have just written ‘Louis and Harry are dead, bye’.” There were now tears shimmering in the blonde’s eyes and Liam felt really helpless just watching, knowing that what he was about to say wasn’t going to make Niall very happy. 

“I don’t know, Ni… but we can’t stay here, we barely have any supplies, I left them all here with the others.” And somebody had taken them, either they had gone separate ways and split them, which was least likely, or they had all gone together or Zayn was the only one left. Either way, it brought Liam and Niall into a really shitty situation. 

“So it was all for nothing?” The blonde seemed so close to bursting into tears but Liam really got it, because he felt quite frustrated as well. 

Still, Liam couldn’t help the slightly sarcastic comment. “Not for Zayn.”

“Don’t say that, Li, he left a message and he protected us when you were gone. If he really is the only one left… why wouldn’t he have taken the supplies? He had know idea when we’d be back. Or if we’d be back.” Niall was right, but Liam still couldn’t help the slight anger he felt, which quickly changed though when he suddenly saw the blonde wiping away a tear that had spilled over. “What if they really are dead? I mean, I know we’re all in constant danger, but… I’ve never been genuinely scared any of us might be dead until yesterday morning when you didn’t come back, but you at least know how to survive, Harry and Louis have never even been on their own before.”

“I don’t think they’re dead, Ni, they’re not incapable of killing infected and we usually never see more than one or two at once, right? They could easily handle that.” Liam tried to make the blonde feel better, stepping closer until he could cup his cheek, his thumb catching another tear. “It’ll be fine, I promise. I will get you to Toronto, no matter what happens.”

For a moment, Liam thought Niall would say something, but instead he just took a step forward and wrapped his arms around the brunette, undoubtedly crying harder now so Liam made sure to hold on tight, rubbing the younger’s back. “What if there’s nothing there in Toronto? What if we never see the others again and then… it’ll just be me and you and eventually… eventually one of us is going to die as w-well a-and… I just w-wanna go h-home, I w-want… all of u-us to go h-home… I feel s-so fucking g-gross and… I’m s-so h-hungry a-and what are we g-gonna do? N-Nothing we d-do m-matters…”

“Hey, stop saying that stuff, Ni. We don’t know if there’s anything in Toronto or somewhere else, we gotta at least try. You’re the one who told me that, over and over again, and I promise you I will do anything to make sure to get you wherever we need to go, okay? I’ll do anything I can to make sure you’re safe.” There was nothing else he could have said really, Liam didn’t wanna make any false promises, all he could promise was that he would try his very best, even if he wasn’t sure if that would be good enough in the end. “Please don’t cry, Ni, it’s going to be fine. I don’t think anything happened to the others, they know the way and eventually we will catch up to them, okay? And in case anything bad happened to them, which I don’t believe, then… you, um… you still got me and I won’t leave you alone.”

Liam didn’t wanna talk like _he_ should be all that mattered to the blonde or as if the blonde shouldn’t be upset about not knowing where the others were, he just didn’t know how else to make it better. Plus, if he himself had had to choose between the other three and Niall, it was obvious who he would have chosen. “I know… I’m sorry, I just… I just didn’t expect them to be gone and I wasn’t prepared, they are our friends, but I know we can’t wait for them or keep searching for them, I… I just wish none of this would have happened.”

“I know, it’s okay. You’re allowed to be upset, I wish the others were still here too and I hope we’ll catch up to them.” Something inside Liam told him not to keep on saying that and make the blonde false hopes, but maybe he was making himself false hopes as well. 

“Me too… “ The blonde sniffed, still clinging to Liam and the brunette kinda felt like they needed to get going, but he decided to wait a little longer, just because it had been a rough two days. “Sorry for freaking out so much… I’ll be fine as long as I still got you.”

That did take Liam a bit off guard, but he immediately held on tighter to the blonde, trying not to be too happy about it because this definitely wasn’t a moment to be happy. So instead, he kissed the side of the younger’s head, having done it so often by now that he had lost count. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

They held onto each other for a bit longer, not saying anything and when Liam finally found it in his heart to pull away from the blonde, Niall still had a few tears on his cheeks that the brunette made sure to wipe away. He couldn’t do anything about Niall being hungry, but could definitely find some clothes in this house to at least feel a bit cleaner and Liam also found some baby wipes in the bathroom, so that did seem to make the blonde feel better.

There was no food or anything other useful in this house though, other than a backpack for Niall that was slightly small but would at least make up for his other one in case they managed to find supplies, which Liam was a bit worried about if he was being honest. Of course he didn’t discuss it with Niall right now because there was nothing they could have changed about this situation anyways and the blonde was still clearly upset when they left the house.

Liam had made sure to carve a message underneath Zayn’s, just in case Harry and Louis would come back to the house for whatever reason. Other than Zayn though, Liam had made sure to sign it with _L+N_ , which he only later realized was slightly weird, as if he had been carving their names into a tree or something. Not that it mattered, because he actually doubted anybody would ever read the message.

 

\-------------------

 

“I keep thinking what if Zayn was right, about how we should just look for a camp and wait it out? And you never believed that we’ll get back home anyways.” Niall didn’t say it in a tone as if he was accusing Liam of having no hope, more as if he himself was losing hope and the brunette didn’t like that one bit. The blonde was the one who had always stunned him with how strongly he believed he’d get back home, he had been the driving force, so the brunette felt guilty for being responsible for this whole mess and Niall losing faith. 

“Zayn just said whatever came to his mind, we don’t know if it’s even possible to wait it out. Sitting around waiting isn’t a solution, it’s just gonna make us go insane, I would know, I’ve been doing it for months in that camp I was in.” Sometimes Liam thought back to that, it probably had been over a month since he had left, but it did feel like it was a lot longer in the past. Like he hadn’t done anything besides walk for a few years or something. 

“Is that why you left? I never asked you that, I only know why Harry and Louis left and that they followed you for a day because you didn’t wanna take them with you.” Right, Niall barely knew anything about what Liam had done when all of this had started, but he did know a lot about Liam’s old life by now, seeing as he had had a whole day to ask questions. And even longer now because they needed to find some supplies before it’d get dark. 

“I didn’t wanna take them with me because I didn’t wanna be responsible for anyone but myself. But I left because I couldn’t stand the waiting anymore and everyone there knew that things would go wrong sooner or later, we had this guy in charge who would take most of the supplies for himself and who would shut anyone down who spoke up. I’m pretty sure by now that camp doesn’t even exist anymore.” Or maybe it did but with probably a lot less people. “Zayn wouldn’t know, he’s never been in a camp before, he’s been out here since it started.”

“Me too.” The blonde threw in and Liam didn’t know why but he suddenly felt guilty once more. At least in that camp Liam had had nights where he had felt slightly safe, Niall hadn’t experienced that in months. “But I don’t know… I don’t just wanna sit and wait either. I just thought maybe it’d be safer, but… I know that normal people are about as dangerous as the infected. Maybe even more and even if we did find a camp… they probably wouldn’t even take us in anyways.”

“Do you want to find a camp?” Liam wasn’t sure anymore what Niall really wanted and he doubted the blonde himself knew it.

“Hmm, I don’t know… I don’t think I do, right now we can’t do anything but to keep moving, I don’t think I even wanna have to make a choice. What would you be doing right now if I hadn’t told you guys about Toronto?” A good question.

“Nothing, I guess. I never had a plan, I just wanted to leave.” And forget, but Liam stopped himself from saying that because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell Niall anything about it. 

“By yourself? Why did you wanna do that? Did you just wanna… keep walking and see what happens?” Niall putting it this way really did make it sound rather stupid, but the thing was, he was right. It had been stupid, but what wasn’t nowadays?

“I guess I would have figured that out at some point. I don’t think anybody can do right or wrong in all this, we all just do whatever.” And none of it mattered, not really, but Liam was actually trying to cheer Niall up here because he seemed to have gotten so negative all of a sudden. “But you were right, about how we should just try because we got nothing else to do anyways, so I don’t think waiting it out like Zayn said would be a good idea. We’d get terribly bored.”

“I would have gotten bored before I met you, but now… “ The blonde shrugged, simply breaking off and when Liam looked over to check the younger’s face, it had gotten a bit red. Wait… what?

“Would you just ask me questions all day then?” Probably, but somehow that seemed to have not been what the blonde had been talking about, it just took Liam a moment to catch on.

“Maybe… but… I guess, we… we’d find other, like… other things to do. Like, when it’s not day anymore. Or so.” Oh.

“Did you just really say that?” Liam couldn’t help it, he was just stunned for a moment before he burst out laughing, much to the younger’s embarrassment. 

“Shut up, it’s not even funny.” Niall was clearly pouting now which only amused the brunette even more. “Liam, shut up!”

“Sorry, I just… I really didn’t expect you to say something like this. I had no idea you had such a dirty mind, Ni.” Seriously though, Liam may have been laughing but he could also feel his tummy twisting while thinking about it.

“I don’t, you have no idea what I was even talking about, I could have been talking about telling each other jokes during the night. Or maybe sleeping.” Now he was trying to talk himself out of it, his face having gotten even redder and Liam couldn’t help but think about reaching out to touch it. 

“Yeah, that sounds totally not boring, you’re right.” Liam was still chuckling, throwing a quick look over his shoulder just to be sure they weren’t being followed by anyone or anything before wrapping his arm around the blonde, pulling him closer. 

“What? It’d be nice to be able to sleep and I have nothing against jokes.” Niall had crossed his arms in front of his chest, but he wasn’t fighting the older’s arm, so that was a good sign. “It’s not like it’s actually gonna happen, so… “

“Well… just because we’re not in a camp doesn’t mean we have to be bored, right?” Okay, Liam didn’t actually know why he was even implying these kinda things when they had done absolutely nothing except for holding hands, sharing a bed once and kissing each other anywhere besides their lips. It’s just… Liam wasn’t sure if he wanted to rush into something just because they were alone and didn’t know what would happen tomorrow. But then again, that was also the exact same reason that made it stupid to hesitate. 

“I’m not bored. Are you?” The blonde sounded a bit accusing and Liam found himself smiling as he squeezed Niall’s shoulders. 

“No.” Not yet at least, but that would have been stupid to say because it’d only show Niall that Liam was thinking about that maybe they would never find the others again. Of course Liam was hoping that they would, but the chances weren’t too high. “But in case you have any suggestions… let me know.”

There was no answer, Niall simply stayed quiet for a moment before suddenly leaning over to kiss the brunette’s cheek. And that was that, they didn’t talk about it anymore, but Liam left his arm wrapped around the blonde and when he let it slip after a while, Niall caught his hand in his, intertwining their fingers. 

It was kinda nice to walk like this, almost as if they were normal people going for a hike or a walk or something, it was just slightly too quiet for that, and too empty. Liam had gotten really good at pretending though, because what else was there to do really? If he’d constantly think about everything that could go wrong, he would have long gone insane.

They didn’t have too many hours left before dark, so they only had time to search a few houses in a small town they passed. Though Niall suggested they split up in order to be done more quickly, Liam almost immediately interrupted and told the blonde that there was absolutely no way that he’d allow him to go anywhere without him. Honestly, Niall looked pretty damn happy about that.

There were barely any supplies, as usual, but at least they found a few things and Liam felt slightly less nervous after they had left. Sure, they could have spent the night in this town, but Liam was still afraid of those guys that had stolen Niall’s backpack. Liam should have kept walking when he had seen them getting attacked, but then he might not have found Niall because maybe he wouldn’t have searched the houses that thoroughly and also, it’s not like he could have changed anything about this now, it was too late. 

Before it would get too dark, Liam decided to settle for a different house, not very happy with how lonely it was, but it was still better than being in the middle of the town that anybody would have searched for supplies. 

“Here, eat something.” Liam made sure to hand Niall some canned peaches, two cans because he remembered what the blonde had said a few hours ago when he had been crying into the older’s shoulder.

“No, we should save it, we-“

“We’ll find more. I know you’re hungry and I don’t want you to starve because then it wouldn’t have made any sense to save any of it. So eat.” There was no way Liam would have accepted a no right now and Niall seemed to quickly realize that because he didn’t try to complain anymore. 

“Do you know where we are? On the map, I mean?” Niall had sat down right next to Liam, both of them leaning against the wall of the living room so the older boy could keep an eye on the front door, just in case. 

“Yeah, we’re good, we’re on the route I planned for us.” And hopefully the others were as well, only a day or maybe even more ahead of them. 

“I never asked this, but… how long do you think we need to get to Toronto?” The blonde was speaking between bites, not sounding scared to hear the answer and of course Liam couldn’t give him a precise answer, but he tried.

“Thirty something days, probably more, we don’t usually walk that fast. But I don’t see a reason to hurry, it’ll only tire us out more quickly.” Also, who knew what else would happen on the way, but Niall hadn’t been asking for that, had he? “We should try and find some more suitable shoes for when it gets colder. And thicker jackets.”

“It’s already kinda chilly… and really cold at night.” Niall was right, but they had blankets and they never took their clothes off whenever they slept, so they were still fine for now, but Liam was slightly worried about what would happen once they went even further north. “We’ll probably get sick at some point, we should try and find more medicine too.”

“Yeah… but just because it’ll get colder doesn’t mean we’ll get sick. It’d get cold back at home as well.” No idea why Liam had just said that, it wasn’t exactly a happy thought, but he had just kinda blurted out with it without thinking about it.

The blonde didn’t answer, he just stopped eating for a moment before continuing, saying the very last thing Liam would have expected. “It’ll be Christmas soon.”

“Yeah… “ Liam honestly didn’t know the exact date, whether it was still November or December, but the blonde was right either way and it was slightly depressing. “And then it’ll be the New Year.”

“Maybe we won’t be here anymore for that. The chances are pretty slim, but… they’re still there.” Niall sounded hopeful once more, but slightly more realistic than he had a few days ago, for which Liam was quite glad because seeing Niall’s disappointed face was the very last thing Liam would have wanted. Especially because then he’d have nothing left to try and make the blonde feel better with. “My mom would always invite the whole family for Christmas, even my dad’s girlfriend… they got divorced when I was really young, I barely even remember it. But I always liked when we all got together, and my grandparents and even my brother even though we didn’t get along so well. I guess if I saw him now though, I’d be over the moon.”

There was nothing for Liam to say really while Niall was talking, so he just stayed quiet, his eyes still fixed on the front door of the house though he doubted that anybody would be walking through. 

“The people I was visiting here… it was my cousins and my aunt, we don’t really get to see each other a lot, but they would have come to visit us at Christmas… I actually, um, I actually was gonna cancel my trip a few days before, because I had so much uni stuff to do. But I already had booked the flights and I wouldn’t have gotten a refund, so… seems pretty damn stupid now. And then I was at the airport to go back home and they just started cancelling all the flights… I mean, you know how it all went down, the days before that and stuff, but if I had gone back home just a day earlier… maybe it means that people who already carried the virus spread it all over the world. If they only cancelled the flights when people had already turned, I mean… just gets me thinking once a while.” The blonde had stopped eating now, probably because there was nothing left, and Liam finally looked over at him. “My only hope is that it all started here and that they got it under control everywhere else.”

“I don’t know… they might have. I’m sure people got infected in other countries as well, but if it were only a few, they might have gotten it under control. It seemed like it started here, judging by all the things on the news a few days before… back at home none of that happened.” Liam had been in contact with a few friends, back when he had still thought that it was just a weird illness, just like everybody else. “We might never know though.”

“I just can’t believe that there is no cure and that it escalated like that, it just seems so… it just seems like we’re in a movie or something. Imagine if we survive and get back home and we’d just have to get back to a normal life like that… “ That possibility seemed so unrealistic that Liam had never actually considered it. “I don’t think I could.”

“Why not?” Liam couldn’t either, but he wanted to know what Niall had to say first.

“Ever since I had to kill that woman… you know, at the airport? I see her whenever I sleep, and everybody else I killed who was still normal. I keep dreaming about waking up and being bitten all over because it happened before and like, parts of my body missing and… and sometimes I dream that you are bitten, and then I’d have to kill you too. I don’t think I’d be able to.” Oh.

There was some silence following that and Liam hated how much he could relate, how much it clearly pained Niall having to deal with those things. It’s not like Liam hadn’t known the blonde had trouble sleeping, but hearing the blonde explain why… maybe that was all Liam had needed to finally say it out loud as well. “I thought the same, but… if you had no choice then you could.”

“What do you mean?” Niall seemed confused, he was looking Liam straight in the eyes until the brunette cleared his throat, turning his head away, briefly contemplating whether he really wanted to tell the blonde this. 

“I was on holiday, with my parents and one of my sisters, it was like… a tradition thing, we’ve done it since we were kids. We were in the hotel when it started, we weren’t allowed to leave and no one was allowed to come in, but then… people in the hotel were infected and they turned. My family and I and many others tried to leave, but… my mother got bitten on our way out, they half ripped her arm off and… anyways, we did make it out, with her, but we were slow. At this point we didn’t know that anybody who got bit would turn, maybe that’s why no one was paying that much attention and when we found some house to stay in, my sister showed me like ten bites on her arm. Both her and my mom started showing symptoms within hours and we decided to wait and see and hope that maybe nothing would happen, that maybe someone would come help or I don’t even know. They both turned and… I didn’t have a gun at this point, only a knife. My dad didn’t have anything, so he couldn’t defend himself and we didn’t know what to expect. Well… I killed them both, my mom and my sister, I didn’t even really think, it was self defense. I had to stab them so many times until they died and… afterwards my dad was already half dead because my sister had gotten to him first and… he bled out an hour later, in front of me. So then I was alone, I thought I’d surely die as well, but… I’m still here, I guess.” So there it was, the whole story and surprisingly Liam felt a bit better afterwards.

“Liam… “ Niall started, clearly shocked, but he reached out for the older’s hand and Liam squeezed back lazily, not wanting the blonde to pity him. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”

“It was months ago and I’ve never told anybody, so… I just learned to live with it I suppose, and I accepted that there’s absolutely nothing anybody can do to stop it, but then… then we found you, and you were immune and it made me angry because I kept thinking why couldn’t my family have been immune? But after I left you guys and I was on my own for a bit and I had to kill those kids… I don’t know, I just felt lonely, not like I thought I would feel. Protecting you guys at least gave me something to do, so… and when Harry and Louis showed up in that car I thought maybe we could actually have a chance. And of course you were being a pain in the arse.” Liam made sure to smile at the blonde at the last part to let him know it was a joke, but the blonde only returned the smile for a second. 

“Is that why you didn’t wanna take them with you at first and why you left the camp? Because you didn’t wanna get close to anybody and then lose them?” Niall had pretty much hit the nail on the head there. 

“I think so, I just… I saw no point in making friends in that camp because I kept thinking we’d all die anyways. Harry somehow figured out I was gonna leave, but the thought of taking them with me and having all the responsibility just to watch them die or having to kill them myself… I didn’t want that. And I was a bit angry too, because he and Louis had been in that camp for so long, they didn’t have to see what I had seen, what I had had to do, I didn’t think it was fair. But what’s fair, right? Anyways, I’ve realized being on my own isn’t exactly great and… not having a purpose or plan is even worse.” It really was, when Liam had been sitting in that kids’ room where Niall had found him, he had genuinely been thinking about just putting that gun into his mouth. 

“Yeah… I know that feeling. I, um… I almost killed myself, when I was alone those 3 weeks, I just… I thought it’d be better than eventually being torn apart by infected. I was too scared to do it though and I had no gun and then I was with you guys and I finally had some kinda hope again, mostly because of you. But it’s not why I tried to get you to come with us again or why I went looking for you… me and the other two survived while you were gone and I’m pretty sure we’d still be alive, but I didn’t want you to have to be alone the first time and the second time, well… you know.” He shrugged at this, clearly embarrassed now but still tightly holding onto Liam’s hand. “I wouldn’t have survived not finding you or having to move on without you.”

“Why?” Of course Liam knew why, but he kinda wanted the blonde to say it, rolling his head around once more while still leaning against the wall behind him in order to look at Niall, watching the blush creeping in his face. 

It looked like Niall was about to say something for a moment, he already had his mouth opened, but then it seemed he changed his mind and leaned over instead. Liam knew what the blonde was about to do and he acted without really thinking about it, simply turning his head so that the younger’s lips landed on top of his instead of his cheek. 

“Sorry, I didn’t w-“ Niall was clearly surprised for a moment, trying to pull back and sounding quite panicked but Liam held onto him with his free arm.

“It’s okay. I wanted you to.” He half mumbled and it only took a second for Niall to kiss him again, more eager this time and Liam found himself smiling against the younger’s mouth.

Niall’s lips were chapped, like Liam’s, but they were still soft. His mouth tasted like the peaches he had just eaten and Liam couldn’t help but suddenly be thankful for all the times they had taken toothbrushes and toothpaste from empty houses and actually used them. It’s just, all this would have been even more unbearable with hurting teeth, wouldn’t it? And of course now, it was useful for much more. 

Then again, Liam wasn’t really thinking about anything else other than the fact that he was kissing Niall, the way the younger’s tongue felt against his own, how eager the blonde seemed to be, almost falling into the brunette. They could have gone a lot further because no one was stopping them, nothing at all was holding them back, but Liam still decided not to, that snogging the blonde was enough for now. This was an apocalypse, but the brunette still didn’t wanna just jump into something head over heels, but it seemed like he was the only one.

Niall whined when Liam pulled away, almost having falling into the older’s lap, his lips swollen and his face completely flushed and Liam couldn’t help but think that he had never looked more gorgeous. “Why’d you stop?”

“You should sleep.” The brunette said, of course making Niall roll his eyes, but he still leaned into Liam’s hand when he reached out to stroke Niall’s cheek with the back of his fingers, brushing his thumb over the blonde’s bottom lip. “Is this what you were talking about before? So we wouldn’t get bored?” 

“Not exactly, but maybe as a start… “ Niall shrugged, making Liam laugh, suddenly feeling all giddy and not tired at all anymore. 

“Maybe we should wait a bit before taking it further, we’ve never even been on a date.” It was a joke of course, Liam was simply dying to see the younger’s reaction to that and he definitely didn’t get disappointed. 

“ _Date?!_ We’re together every single day, all day, that’s like… 20 dates or probably even more.” The blonde seemed so eager to take it further right at this second that Liam was honestly a bit stunned, he surely wouldn’t have expected that from the blonde. Not that it was a bad thing. “But it’s fine if we wait, I actually didn’t think you’d ever even wanna kiss me… “

“Why wouldn’t I?” Honestly, didn’t the blonde know by now just how much he meant to Liam? 

“I don’t know. I couldn’t figure out if you liked me or not, Harry said to just go for it, but-“

“Wait, what? You told _Harry?!_ ” When exactly had they had time to talk about that?

“I mean, not really, he kinda figured it out. When you were gone for the night and we were waiting for you in that new house he kinda brought it up and he was like encouraging me and stuff, it was weird. But he was right.” Niall was smiling now and Liam kinda automatically returned it even though he wasn’t quite sure what he thought about that. Then again, it seemed like everyone had already figured it out anyways, Zayn after only a day or something. “Everyone was.”

“I guess they were…” Liam didn’t really know what else to say, he suddenly felt slightly embarrassed but also a little bit guilty because of Niall bringing up him leaving again. “You should still sleep, now that you know that I like you.”

“I’m not a baby, Liam.” He was so cute when he was pouting it was ridiculous, so just because he could, Liam leaned over in order to kiss the blonde on the lips once more, just briefly, but it was enough to make the blonde blush again. 

“C’mon, it’s already getting dark.” This time, Liam purposely made it sound as if he was talking to a child and though Niall rolled his eyes once more, it was obvious he didn’t actually mind all too much.

Liam made sure to give Niall one of the blankets from his backpack because they wouldn’t have fit into the blonde’s new one, a little bit surprised when Niall never even attempted to move towards the couch. Instead, he waited until Liam had covered himself with his own blanket a little bit because it was chilly before simply lying down right on the floor, with his head on the older’s lap. Oh. 

“The couch is probably a lot more comfortable than-“

“But I wanna be with you.” Niall sounded so determined and honest that Liam swallowed his words, feelings his stomach growing warm as the younger boy made himself more comfortable. “Can you wake me in a few hours?”

“Maybe.” The brunette didn’t wanna lie because he wasn’t sure if he’d have the heart to wake the blonde again, not after he had been awake all night. Then again, if they kept this up then one of them would have to be awake every single night. “Close your eyes.”

“God, you’re so bossy.” Though he huffed, Niall did what he had been told and Liam started playing with his hair while looking down at the younger boy with a pretty stupid smile on his face, loosely wrapping his free arm around the younger’s stomach. “I got one more question.”

“What is it?” Now Liam was a little bit wary, but he continued to evenly run his fingers through the blonde’s hair.

“Because of what you said before… about you not wanting to start caring for anybody you might lose, um… do you, like… do you wish that, you know, that me and you… that you wouldn’t… like me?” Right, Liam should have probably expected that sort of question if he was being honest with himself.

“I don’t think I could NOT like you… but I’d wish we’d never met if that meant that you could still be back at home in safety.” It was true, Liam absolutely hated that Niall had to go through all this, even more so than he hated being here himself. “But I don’t regret meeting you, I never would, I just didn’t think I’d start caring for somebody again after everything that happened.”

“Okay… then I’m relieved.” The blonde did sound like it too, visibly relaxing his body. “But I… I’m really sorry about your family, Li, and what you had to do, I… I couldn’t even imagine and if you ever wanna talk about anything, then… I’m here, you can always talk to me, I had no idea that you went through something like that and if I had known… “

“It’s okay, but thank you, love. You should really go to sleep now.” Liam hadn’t planned on calling Niall love, but then he already had, his throat feeling a bit tight as he leaned down to kiss the younger’s forehead, playfully covering Niall’s eyes when he saw them flattering open. “Don’t open them, sleep.”

There was no answer, Niall just huffed again but he did keep his eyes closed, grabbing a hold of Liam’s hand on his face and moving it so he could kiss his palm before they fell into silence. Liam was pretty sure Niall had fallen asleep like 2 minutes later because he had been up all night last night and he wished he could have kept the nightmares away from the blonde, but all he could really do was hold Niall and stare at him while thinking about kissing him again.

 

\--------------------------

 

“Nialler, what on earth are you doing?” Liam was watching with amazement but also worry when the younger boy was balancing on a fence that had probably once belonged to something but now kinda looked like ruins. “You’re gonna fall.”

“Hold my hand, quick.” The blonde was really wobbly on his feet when Liam grabbed a hold of his hand, trying not to be amused because he didn’t wanna encourage the blonde, but it was hard not to be. 

“Are you trying to see how much it’ll take for me to get a heart attack?” Though the brunette was glad that Niall was seemingly having so much fun, he was slightly nervous watching him, trying to stay ready so he’d be able to catch him at any moment. 

“You said the same thing yesterday when I was climbing on that fallen tree. I won’t hurt myself, I promise.” Well, he was holding Liam’s hand pretty damn tightly though. 

“You keep saying that, but-“

“See?” Luckily, Niall had jumped down from the fence before Liam had been able to finish and the brunette felt himself relax at an instant, not letting go of the younger’s hand though, his stomach growing warm when Niall leaned over to briefly kiss him on the lips. “I’m fine.”

“You’re killing me.” Was all Liam said to that, slowly shaking his head at the younger boy, inside though he had already forgiven him of course. “I’m glad the end of the world brings you so much joy.”

“I’m just not as pessimistic as you are, you should try that sometime.” Niall was joking, but he was grinning widely at the brunette while saying it, holding his hand tighter, maybe so the brunette wouldn’t pull it away. Well, he hadn’t exactly been planning on it because they walked like this all the time since their first kiss, which was already a week in the past. Somehow it seemed like at least a month though, maybe even longer. 

“Just because I’m not as crazy as you are doesn’t mean I’m being pessimistic, you little rascal.” He kinda was though, Liam was aware of it, it’s just… it was rather hard being positive in all this. Liam had gotten better at it though ever since he and Niall had kissed and gotten a lot closer because it was pretty much the only thing that kept Liam’s mind off of things. 

“I was just joking anyways, I know I’m being pessimistic at times as well.” Niall shrugged, turning his hand so that he could let his fingers slide between Liam’s and the brunette returned the squeeze. It was nice holding the younger’s hand especially now that it was getting a little bit chillier and especially during the nights, having the younger’s body pressed up right against his was definitely helping both of them to stay warmer. 

They had struggled a bit a week ago when they had figured out they’d be on their own, but they had eventually found supplies and stuff and they were good for now. There had been no signs of the other three or any other normal people, there were a few infected once a while as usual, but nothing too major had happened. If Liam was being honest with himself, he had lost hope that they’d even find any of the other three again and he kinda felt like Niall was thinking the same thing because they had stopped talking about it and stopped carving messages onto the doors of every other house on their way. 

Had Liam not had Niall with him, he would have gone insane. He very well realized that all this could have turned out so completely different, that it could have been him and the other three and Niall missing, or Liam on his own, searching for the blonde but never finding him. So he was trying not to be greedy and wish that they’d find the others because he had found Niall and that was really everything he had wanted when the blonde had gone missing.

Still, Liam would have felt safer with the other three around and also, even if he still had a bit of a hard time admitting it to himself though he had no problem thinking the same way about Niall, he did care about the others and he didn’t want them dead.

“Look over there.” The blonde interrupted the silence that had fallen over them and Liam felt his heart speeding up for a moment, already thinking it was something bad that Niall had spotted, but it was actually the complete opposite. It was just a truck that seemed to have crashed into a tree or something, but they were a bit too far away to see it properly. “Please god let it be a food truck.”

“If it was, it’s surely already empty.” Liam said it without thinking before realizing that yes, he was definitely the pessimistic one. “Or maybe not, maybe no one’s seen it before, we’re kinda in the middle of nowhere.”

“Nice safe, Mr. ‘we should have already died three weeks ago’.” Niall joked and Liam just rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t really be mad after all because the blonde was kinda describing him a bit too well. 

“I never even said that.” Liam argued though he probably had at some point, back when he had been alone with Harry and Louis, he had been saying stuff like that all the time. Not with Niall though, Liam didn’t wanna discourage the blonde and also, he was determined to keep the blonde alive, no matter at what cost. 

“You wouldn’t even know, I told you you talk in your sleep, it’s very interesting.” Okay, now that was slightly embarrassing, Niall had first brought that up a few days ago and Liam hadn’t believed him, but then again… what proof did he have that it wasn’t true? And why would the blonde have made that up anyways? “But mostly cute.”

“Cute?” Liam felt his cheeks heating up while the blonde just shrugged, simply having said it out loud as if it wasn’t a big deal. 

“Yeah, you were talking about how much you like holding my hand the other night.” Oh. “Lucky for you I like it as well.”

“I, uh… I don’t really know that to say.” The brunette confessed because it was true, but he still felt embarrassed now. He always thought about how cute Niall was, so it was slightly weird to hear the blonde refer to Liam that way. “But, um… I like holding your hand, so… I guess I’m not… lying in my sleep.”

“Good to know.” Niall laughed, suddenly walking a little bit faster when they were getting closer to the truck, pulling the brunette with him by his hand. “Oh my god, I was right!”

It took a second for Liam to realize what Niall meant and for them to get even closer to the crashed truck, but once they were pretty much standing right in front of it, Liam felt as excited as Niall had just sounded. This was indeed a food truck, the back had already been opened but there were still plenty of boxes inside, some cut open and food having spilled, indicating that other people had been here before them though. However, they had obviously only take a fraction of the supplies and Liam actually couldn’t believe their luck right now.

“Holy shit, we’re so lucky. Thank god we took those extra backpacks with us.” The blonde had already let go of Liam’s hand, having started to untie his backpack and take the other one out he had squeezed in there. “Look how much freaking water, we won’t even be able to carry just a third of that.”

“Make sure you fill every bottle you can find, it’s more important we take the water rather than the food, okay?” Liam tried to think logical right now even though he already felt hungry and thirsty just looking at any of it. 

“But we can still eat while we’re packing, right?” Right, they probably wouldn’t be done here anytime soon.

“Yeah, but we should probably try to stay quiet, just in case, and try to be quick as well.” It’s not that Liam thought this was a trap or anything because clearly, that truck had crashed a while ago already, he just wanted to be on the safe side.

Still, they spent quite some time there, making sure to eat and drink once they had stuffed their backpacks and maybe for the first time ever, Liam didn’t feel worried for a few minutes. He made sure Niall didn’t eat _too_ much though because they weren’t used to it and some stuff had also gone bad and they really couldn’t have needed any of them getting sick or getting food poisoning or something.

There were still tons of huge water bottles left and Niall convinced Liam they took some with them so they could get washed up a bit once they had found a house or somewhere to spend the night. Liam wasn’t too sure about this idea, but the blonde seemed so excited that the older boy obviously agreed, the prospect of feeling a little cleaner again very tempting of course. They did take spare clothes with them once a while, just in case and mostly because it was getting colder, but it almost felt too good to be true right now to actually get somewhat clean.

Liam kinda felt like it was slightly too chilly to poor water all over himself, but the blonde seemed to think otherwise once they had found a house, with the front door kicked in, so that wouldn’t have made a very good place to stay in afterwards sadly. 

“What are you doing?” The brunette was so confused when he watched Niall going back to the bathroom upstairs after they had searched the house, taking the water bottles with him that he had been carrying in his hands the whole time just like Liam. Their backpacks were so full now, carrying them was kinda giving the brunette back pains already. 

“Getting clean.” Niall said it like it was the most normal thing in the entire world and Liam wouldn’t have believed what the blonde was doing if he hadn’t seen it.

“Are you genuinely gonna stand in the shower now and pour this over you? No one will ever live in this house again, Ni, you could just literally do it in the hallway.” Then again, he was undressing himself now and Liam felt his face getting red as he pretended to be looking at something on the wall. Right, maybe this wasn’t a bad idea after all.

“I don’t wanna do it in the hallway, then I can’t pretend that I’m just having a normal shower. Also, they got towels in the shelf and shampoo, I checked a few minutes ago and I finally wanna feel like a human again, even if it’s only gonna last a day.” Apparently Niall didn’t care if Liam was watching or not, but the brunette wasn’t of course, he just felt a bit bad now for having asked so stupidly before because he really got it. They hadn’t been out here long enough to completely stop caring about stuff like this. 

“Okay, um… I’m gonna keep watch.” Liam felt a bit stupid now, but he did walk out of the bathroom, sitting down right outside though because he was slightly paranoid about anybody walking in there without him knowing and doing something to the blonde. 

Niall actually didn’t need that long, but he had still poured both bottles over himself, which was fine really because Liam had taken two for himself as well just for this purpose. When the blonde came out of the bathroom, he kinda looked like a whole other person to Liam, there was no dirt on him, his clothes were clean and he was drying his hair with a towel. “You should do the same, I don’t think I’ve felt this good in months.”

“Not even when I first kissed you?” Liam joked as he got up, enjoying the way the blonde’s cheeks turned red. When he leaned in to kiss the younger boy on the cheek, he was even more surprised than he had been upon seeing the blonde so clean. “You smell good.”

“I think I should be offended because you sound so shocked, but I’m gonna let it slide because I’m actually only noticing now that you kinda stink.” The blonde said it with such a serious face that Liam was stunned for a moment even if it was probably true. Niall very quickly kissed Liam to let him know he had been joking, even if the brunette wasn’t sure if he really had been. The thing was though, they had gotten so used to all this, Liam doubted any of them had noticed before, he surely hadn’t.

Turned out though that Niall had been absolutely right, Liam felt so much better afterwards and so clean all of a sudden that he didn’t even question when Niall suggested they should brush their teeth for like ten minutes straight. It had a little bit of a domestic feeling to it, as far as that was possible in a situation like this, but it was really nice, at least for the moment. 

They couldn’t stay in the house because of the broken front door but also, it wasn’t dark yet so they kept walking for a while, feeling about ten times better than before. Actually, Liam could barely believe that they had both gotten clean and changed AND had found so many supplies, which was another reason why he wanted to get further away from that truck, just in case.

An hour and Niall having asked fifty questions about Liam’s high school time later, the brunette almost started worrying that maybe they wouldn’t find a suitable place to spend the night because it was slowly getting dark, but luckily, the blonde seemed to be paying a lot more attention to their surroudings than Liam. “Oh, look over there, is that like some lookout post or something? You know, for when there’s smoke from fire.” 

“Where?” Liam was confused for a moment, feeling quite stupid though when he saw it because it hadn’t actually been that hidden seeing as it was rather high. “Oh, yeah, I guess it is.”

“Do you think we could sleep up there? No infected can walk up the steps.” The younger boy sounded so excited all of a sudden that Liam was almost surprised as he threw a look over at him, his eyes having gotten a bit bigger and the brunette couldn’t help the smile spreading on his face. God, he was so cute and his hair was really fluffy now after he had washed it and it almost cost Liam everything he had to not constantly try to reach out for it.

“I think we could, it’s no different than a house. Maybe a bit more noticeable but definitely not at night.” In that aspect, it was better than a house actually, because they’d only have to watch out for normal people, who probably wouldn’t find up there when it was pitch black outside. Also, one of them would be staying awake anyways and it’s not like they had too many options. Plus… Liam couldn’t have said no to that face. “Are you really this excited about a lookout post?”

“Kinda, I wanna know what it looks like. Also, I’m a little bit excited about getting to sit down and not having to move for a few hours. But you can sleep first and-“

“Ni, it’s fine, you don’t need to stay awake first every night.” Niall always offered and three days ago he had _refused_ to go to sleep just because Liam had yawned once. Of course the brunette really appreciated it and his heart would swell every time he noticed just how much the blonde cared about him. Just like the other way around. 

“We’ll see about that.” The blonde wasn’t giving in just yet, it was almost like a game between them, like the questions Niall would ask although he probably asked Liam like a hundred every day now. At least that’s what it felt like, but the brunette didn’t mind anymore and seeing as Niall pretty much answered his own questions after Liam, they had gotten to know each other pretty well by now.

Liam was slightly nervous whether they’d find anybody up in the lookout post, but no one was there and it actually looked like nobody had been in here for a really long time, probably before any of this had happened. Which was a really good thing because that meant it wasn’t a place people frequently stumbled upon. 

“That’s a really nice view.” Niall was right though there wasn’t a lot to look at besides trees and fields, but that was mostly due to the fact that it was getting dark rather quickly now. 

“Yeah… “ The brunette was still looking outside while Niall had already sat down on the bed, surprising the older boy just a little bit when he turned around.

“Actually I meant you.” Was all he said, making it sound as if he had already been planning on saying it because of how quickly it came out. Compared to only a week ago, Niall had definitely gotten so much more confident with that kinda stuff that Liam regretted not having kissed him sooner.

“Very smooth, Nialler.” Liam laughed, his stomach growing warm though as he went to check the door once more that they had blocked a few seconds ago. It was rather small in here, but they had still made sure to hide most of their stuff underneath the bed, just in case anybody surprised them in here. “Are you hungry?”

“For the first time I’m actually not hungry _or_ thirsty at all.” The blonde had let himself fall back on the bed when Liam sat down next to him, not even thinking as he put his hand on the younger’s thigh. “Lie down with me.”

It was tempting to lie down with Niall and just talk until they both fell asleep, but Liam knew it would have been way too risky. He did lie down next to the blonde though, just because they never got to do that, both of them lying on their backs in the same bed, feeling clean and not hungry. It was pretty damn nice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. You?” Niall’s hand had found Liam’s without much moving, their fingers ending up intertwined as if they had been meant to be that way.

“Me too… “ More than that actually, if they hadn’t lost the other three, Liam would have almost felt ecstatic about all this. Then again, they wouldn’t have gotten any alone time if the others had been here. 

For a few minutes, they were just lying there holding hands, Liam tried not to fall asleep and actually, he had thought the blonde had long passed out when he suddenly pulled his hand away, moving to lie on his side instead. By now it had gotten dark, so Liam couldn’t see the younger’s face that well, but he could somehow make out his features. “Li?”

“Hm?” Liam made to show the blonde that he was still awake, kinda expecting another question but instead the blonde simply kissed him out of nowhere.

Obviously Liam went with it, parting his lips underneath Niall’s kind of impatient tongue, as if he couldn’t wait to deepen the kiss and so he did. They had snogged before but not like this, not with them both lying on a bed and Niall almost falling on top of Liam because of how eager he was. Liam hadn’t kissed anybody like this in probably years, his last relationship had ended quite a while ago and he had then proceeded to focus more on his studies, so being intimate with Niall felt that much more intense.

The blonde’s hair was so freaking soft when Liam ran his fingers through, gently pulling on it and causing the younger boy to let out a quiet moan against Liam’s lips. It was so, so hard to try and hold back and Liam soon wasn’t sure anymore why he was holding back in the first place. He knew Niall wouldn’t have minded them going further and actually, right now the brunette wouldn’t have either.

Obviously Liam didn’t immediately go for it, he pulled the blonde closer, letting his hands slide underneath the younger’s shirt and up his back, feeling his smooth skin underneath his palms, the way Niall was curving his body into Liam’s while they were still making out, letting out these quiet noises and sighs that went straight to Liam’s crotch.

Eventually the brunette turned them around so he could be on top instead, interrupting the kiss momentarily just so they could catch their breath for a moment. Niall was panting, his arms so tight around the older’s neck that Liam couldn’t have leaned away even if he had wanted to. Their breath was mixing because of how close they were, lips brushing when Niall half whined. “Li… please… “

Liam knew exactly what the blonde wanted and he hesitated only for a moment before connecting their lips once more, licking into the younger’s mouth right when he thrusted their hips together. It felt so intense after not even having touched himself in any way for months that Liam almost had to stop again right there. 

“Keep moving… “ Niall half mumbled against the older’s lips, clearly eager for it and seeing as there was no reason at all to hold back and because he was already rock hard just from making out a bit, Liam did it again.

He could have easily come like this, just from rubbing and pushing against the blonde, but it wasn’t what Liam wanted. They couldn’t really kiss anymore during the rhythm Liam had built pushing his hips against Niall’s, so they were more panting against one another, Niall letting out a real moan this time when Liam reached between them in order to open their jeans.

It was so messy and Liam barely had time to push their pants and boxers down enough because he was so close already, only briefly wrapping his hand around both of their erections as he pressed his lips back on top of Niall’s, harder this time as he jerked them off together. His orgasm was washing over Liam out of nowhere after only a few movements of his wrist, coming all over his hand and possibly Niall’s shirt. 

Liam was grunting against the younger’s mouth while riding out his high, having stopped his hand because of how intense it felt, barely even noticing Niall’s fingers twisting so tight in his hair that it should have hurt. Fuck, Liam hadn’t gone this long without an orgasm since he had been a teenager and he saw stars dancing in front of his eyes as he slowly came down from it. 

“Fucking hell… “ The brunette was shaking a bit, well aware that the blonde hadn’t cum yet because he had basically stopped in the middle of it, but before Niall could have even said a word, Liam had kissed him once more before slipping down the bed a bit to take the blonde’s erection into his mouth.

“ _Liam, oh god_ … fuck… aaah… “ Niall was clearly more than surprised, his fingers were still twisted in the brunette’s hair while Liam was bobbing his head, still feeling breathless and dizzy, but also so fucking good and he just wanted the blonde to feel the exact same way. “I-I… I’m gonna… _fuck_!”

They had definitely been loud before, but Niall’s moan topped that when he came into the older’s mouth after literally half a minute or something and Liam worked him through it, feeling really accomplished afterwards because of how desperately the blonde was catching his breath.

“Fuck… I can’t believe you did that.” Niall brought out between taking breaths and Liam lied down next to him again, feeling a whole lot better now, more relaxed, as if they could have done anything right now and succeeded.

“Why?” Honestly, it hadn’t been that big of a deal, Liam had sucked people off before. Apparently though, that wasn’t what Niall had meant at all.

“My jizz probably tastes so bad after the crap I’ve been eating.” Oh.

It took a second or so to settle in before the blonde burst out into laughter and Liam joined even though it hadn’t been true it all. The whole situation was kind of amusing though maybe, but also, after having done this Liam felt kinda careless and just happy, something he hadn’t felt in so long that he had forgotten what it was like.

So when Niall cuddled into his side later after they had cleaned themselves up a bit and Liam had convinced him that he was going to take the first watch, the brunette was still smiling quietly to himself as he held the blonde, waiting for him to fall asleep. Which he didn’t, of course. “Liam?”

“Just ask, babe.” Liam chuckled softly, because they did this every single night. Only this time, Niall took a bit longer to ask and when he did, it almost sounded like a whisper. 

“Are we like… together? As in… boyfriends?” Oh. 

“If you… I mean, if you want us to be… “ The brunette hadn’t even thought about that because honestly, did it really matter? Apparently it did to Niall.

“I do.” Niall answered without hesitation this time, making Liam smile as he pressed his lips against the blonde’s head.

“Then we are… guess I’m gonna have to break up with all my other side flings now, shit.” He couldn’t help the joke, squeezing Niall when he let out a huff, not trying to move away though so that was good. “Sorry, love.”

“It’s okay, as long as you agree then I’m fine. And now shh, I need to sleep.” Liam fondly rolled his eyes in complete darkness and to himself, but deep down he knew just how much this meant to Niall because it meant just as much to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys <3
> 
> another week is over and i'm finally on easter break even though i didn't do anything uni related in a few days, so i hope you guys are more motivated than me! also, i hope you liked the chapter, i know you all wanted to know what happened to the others, but i wanted to use the chance that niall and liam are alone to let their relationship develop a bit further and also for liam to open up a bit!
> 
> so i hope you guys aren't mad at me and that you enjoyed the fluff and the smut ;)
> 
> thank you for all the comments and kudos, you're all very lovely people and i know i am very lucky to have so many people reading my fics!
> 
> see you next week (or in the comments if you wanna drop by :) ) <3


	7. Unexpected

When Liam woke up, he felt strangely well rested and his back wasn’t hurting as much as it usually did whenever he had slept in some house on the floor. Also, it wasn’t really that cold, which was also rare, and he actually didn’t feel too uncomfortable pressing his face in the pillow that seemed a little bit too hard to be a pillow if Liam was being honest.

For a bit, Liam wasn’t too keen on fully waking up only to get up and walk for yet another day, but he knew it was inevitable and he also wasn’t sure if Niall would have woken him had he just slept the whole day long. The younger boy always let Liam sleep longer than planned whenever he took the last watch and so Liam had started doing the same the other way around, which of course kinda led to them being a bit slower than they usually would have been, but… did it really matter?

After a few minutes, Liam had finally convinced himself to move a bit so that he’d wake up a little more, only to realize that his head had probably never been on a pillow the whole night but rather on the younger’s chest. Oh. 

“How late’s it?” Liam half mumbled, trying not to freak out over the fact that he had snuggled into Niall in his sleep because the blonde surely hadn’t cared one bit and also, the last thing they had spoken to each other before Niall had gone to sleep had been them agreeing that they’d call this a relationship.

“I don’t know, you’re lying on the watch, but it’s only just gotten light outside, so we’re good. You can sleep longer if you want.” Niall was half whispering, maybe hoping to get Liam even more tired than he already was, his arms so tight around the older boy as if he never wanted to let him go again. Liam wouldn’t have minded that. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get up if I don’t do it now.” Still, while saying it Liam hadn’t bothered even lifting his head or keeping his eyes open, the warmth radiating off of the blonde making him question why he didn’t usually sleep like this. “You’re really comfortable… “

“Thanks, so are you.” The younger boy let out a soft laugh, his chest vibrating a little bit underneath the brunette’s cheek. “Did you sleep okay? You were moving a lot.”

“Hm, I don’t really remember actually.” Which was rare, usually Liam’s dreams were really graphic and scary, but tonight it felt like he hadn’t dreamed anything at all, which obviously wasn’t true of course. “Was I talking?”

There was silence following his question and Liam almost got worried when Niall finally answered. “No, not really.”

“Not really?” Liam asked because the younger boy had sounded slightly unsure. 

“Only, like, mumbling stuff, I couldn’t really make out anything… anything that makes sense.” Oh. “But that’s good, means your sleep was a lot deeper.”

“I’m not sure if that’s true, but… I do feel kinda well rested for some reason. If you want to then you could sleep for another hour or so while I stay awake.” Though it would have cost Liam everything he had in him to sit up right now, he would have definitely done it for the blonde of course. 

“No, I’m good… I slept way longer than you did anyways, so… also, I gotta confess something.” Niall didn’t sound too serious when he said it so Liam wasn’t too worried, but he was still curious as he waited for the younger boy to continue. “I kinda ate a bit of our stuff while you were asleep, I just got really hungry all of a sudden. But I promise I didn’t take much.”

“Ni, you don’t need to feel bad about that or even tell me, they’re _our_ supplies and we’ve got plenty now, so what’s the point in not eating them when we’re hungry?” At this, Liam finally got himself to sit up, blinking a little bit against the light but it wasn’t too bad because it obviously wasn’t fully light yet. 

“I just thought I should tell you, I did feel bad about it.” The younger boy shrugged, now looking up at the brunette, his arms having loosened a little bit. 

“Why? Did you think I’d get mad?” This was a serious question and Liam felt slightly concerned when Niall didn’t really answer, so he made sure to lean down and give the younger boy a kiss on the lips, cupping the side of his face in his hand. “I’m not the boss here, okay? I know that I kinda wanted to be when it was four of us and then five and because I had the maps and all… but I’m not and I don’t wanna be. Even if we catch up to the others then I wouldn’t wanna go back to that, I just wanna get you to somewhere where it’s possibly safe and that’s really all I care about, so whatever you wanna do goes. And if you wanna eat all the supplies then you can, or if you, I don’t know, don’t wanna walk for a whole day then we don’t have to, I don’t care. The only thing I care about now is you.” 

That tiny speech didn’t exactly make Niall answer immediately either, he was just staring up at Liam with wide eyes, leaning into his palm for a moment before reaching up to cup the back of Liam’s head, pulling him down until their lips were pressed against one another. Liam would have rather had a real answer, but obviously he wasn’t going to reject Niall.

It wasn’t anything like last night, neither of them was desperate to deepen the kiss or anything and it was really sweet and soft and Liam felt goosebumps rising on his skin every time Niall pulled a bit on the hair in the nap of his neck. Ever since they had gone further last night though, every touch somehow felt more meaningful and more intense and Liam could have probably kissed Niall forever if they hadn’t been forced to break apart for some air at some point. 

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” Niall just blurted out with it as soon as they had stopped kissing and before Liam could have even taken it in, the blonde was already speaking again. “Not because you’re protecting me or anything, I didn’t mean that at all, I just… no one’s ever been so sweet to me or cared so much about me and I know that this is kind of an extraordinary situation but like, that makes it even more special because most people would just try to save themselves.” 

Liam didn’t know what to say after that because his throat felt a little tight and there were about a hundred things he wanted to ask Niall right now but then he didn’t, he simply looked the younger boy in the eyes, slowly rubbing his thumb across his skin without even paying too much attention to it. “A few weeks ago I was having nightmares about my family and now… now they’re always about losing you and it’s driving me insane. Every day I get more afraid of how much I care about you.”

“But you won’t lose me, Li, I know it. We can make it, we made it this far already and… I don’t want you to be afraid. Which is easier said than done because I’m really afraid as well, but… we’ll be fine, if anybody can make it, it’s us. I’m immune and you know how to fight.” True, but Niall wasn’t immortal and the infected weren’t Liam’s biggest concern anymore. 

“I hope you’re right… because I don’t know what I’d do if you were gone.” Especially if Liam could have somehow prevented it, which was why he thought about all their actions twice, considered the consequences a few more times, just to be sure. And most importantly, he never let the blonde out of his sight, because what else did Liam have in this world? Even if there was a way for them to get back home somehow… his family was gone and yeah, Liam did have another sister and extended family at home, but who even knew if they were still alive?

“Nothing will happen to me or to you, okay? And even if something did happen to me… you’d still have to carry on because I want it that way.” Niall just said it, sounding all serious and stuff. 

“Now who’s the bossy one?” Liam forced himself to make a joke, attempting to smile but it wasn’t really working all too well so instead he leaned down to kiss Niall’s forehead in an attempt to hide his face a little bit. “No, you’re gonna be fine, I’ll make sure of it.”

No idea if Liam was able to believe that himself, but he kinda had to because otherwise this fear was going to eat him alive and then they’d have to lock themselves in somewhere and not ever go outside anymore. Deep down though, Liam was of course still afraid because this right here was exactly what he hadn’t wanted to happen and now that it had, he wouldn’t have wanted to change it anymore, even if that meant that he’d have to live in fear each and every day. At least he had something worth fighting for. 

“Are you still hungry?” The brunette really didn’t wanna dwell on this topic, so when he had pulled away and seen the way Niall had already opened his mouth, he had quickly decided to talk about something else. 

“Kind of… I didn’t eat _that_ much at night.” Niall still sounded kinda guilty speaking about it, which Liam absolutely hated but there was really nothing he could have done to change that. 

“Okay, then let’s eat something before it gets fully light outside, I’m hungry too.” He really was, but not as much as he usually was whenever he woke up, probably because of how much they had eaten yesterday when they had been going through that food truck.

The blonde immediately agreed of course and they sat on the bed after having gotten all their stuff out from under it, sharing a bottle of water and Liam tried to remind himself to not be too wasteful with their supplies. Then again, his back would be starting to hurt sooner or later carrying all that around but then of course, he was still thinking about finding the others and who knew what condition they would be in in that case. It was kinda scary to think about, but not as scary as thinking about never seeing them again.

For the first time in a few days, Liam made sure to carve a message for the others on the first step leading up to the lookout post after they had gotten down from it and Niall didn’t comment it but he reached for the older’s hand as soon as Liam was done and they continued walking. 

 

\------------

 

Niall was kinda cold and he could tell Liam felt the same way, but they didn’t really speak about it. The sun was mostly hidden behind clouds, so that didn’t exactly make it any better, but the blonde tried to be grateful that they had at least found thicker jackets and better shoes. No denying, he was definitely afraid of what would happen once they got even further North and the day it’d start to snow. 

Despite that though, Niall still felt euphoric from what had happened last night and the fact that Liam had agreed to being the blonde’s boyfriend, even if it seemed silly to be happy about something like that in the situation they were in. Niall would have been even happier could he have been sure that he had really heard Liam say what he thought he had in his sleep. The blonde couldn’t have told him the truth before either ways though, because he wasn’t really sure if Liam had really meant it, if he would have ever said that while he was awake. Maybe at some point, but definitely not now. 

“Your fingers are ice cold.” Was the first thing Liam noted after the blonde had reached out for his hand, partly to warm himself up a bit but also because he simply enjoyed holding the brunette’s hand so much that it was ridiculous. 

“So are yours.” But not as cold as Niall’s probably, otherwise Liam wouldn’t have noticed with that slightly worried undertone that he always seemed to have whenever the blonde did as much as yawn. “We should look for some gloves.”

“Yeah… and another layer of clothes for you, your lips are really pale.” There was no way for Niall to tell whether that was true or not because he didn’t exactly look into a mirror on a regular basis but he also didn’t want Liam to worry even more about him.

“I’m pale in general in case you haven’t noticed yet.” The blonde joked, squeezing Liam’s hand and throwing a smile at him that got returned only weakly. “Well, except for a bit ago when the sun was shining all fucking day, but I’d actually rather be a bit cold than to have a permanent sunburn.” 

“I hope you’ll still feel that way when it starts to snow.” Liam had looked away from the blonde’s face once more, but the younger boy took another second to take in his boyfriend’s profile, briefly thinking about just how good looking he was and taking a moment to let it sink in that they were really together. 

“I’ll be fine as long as I got you to keep me warm at night.” Though Niall was kinda joking, it was also the truth, because he definitely slept a lot better ever since he was allowed to sleep in the older boy’s arms. It did make Niall slightly sad thinking about that though, because it always reminded him of how Harry had encouraged him to go for it the very last time that they had seen each other over a week ago. “Sorry, that was kinda cheesy.”

“I don’t mind, it works the other way around as well and I… well, I don’t mind you saying cheesy stuff either way.” Liam shrugged, but it seemed his cheeks had gotten slightly pinker and that was probably Niall’s favorite thing in the world right now, the way Liam was all confident and strong but he still ended up blushing upon saying those kinda things. “Wait a second, we should check out that house over there.”

“Okay, but it kinda looks like it’s only ruins.” Niall didn’t mind though, especially not because even being inside for only a few minutes would probably help him to warm up a little bit, something he wouldn’t have wanted to tell Liam though. 

“At least the front door is still there, might be a good sign.” Or maybe not, but they weren’t in any hurry and the house wasn’t far away, starting to look a bit bigger when they were coming closer. 

It wasn’t too late yet, they would easily be able to walk for another few hours before finding a place to spend the night and even though they had plenty of supplies now, they would soon run out if they just stopped looking for them. Plus, Liam seemed very determined on finding even warmer clothes for them and Niall definitely wouldn’t be complaining about that.

The house was rather big, so they didn’t actually go in through the front door but rather one of the back doors that had already been open, closing it behind them though once they were in. Whenever they searched houses, Niall would get really nervous though mostly nothing at all happened, it was just the feeling of being trapped in here with things possibly creeping around every corner that kinda freaked Niall out. Also, Liam would always insist that Niall stayed right behind him, so in case anything would have happened, Liam would have gotten the full blow. 

There was absolutely nothing inside, no infected and no normal people, and they did actually find a few supplies, so that was good. Liam immediately went over to searching the closets upstairs once they were done clearing the house and Niall did the same, making sure to stay in the same room though because as much as Liam wanted the blonde to stay close, as much did Niall not want them to be apart. 

“Look what I found.” Niall held up the gloves when Liam turned around, about to throw them over to the brunette but Liam almost immediately stopped him.

“You keep them, you need them a lot more than I do.” That was a lie, but the blonde knew there was no arguing with the brunette anyways, especially not when it came to Niall’s health. Of course Niall was really flattered by that, but he was also worried about Liam. 

“We can each wear one.” The blonde suggested after a moment of hesitation, kinda having expected the weirded out look on Liam’s face though. Right, that probably wasn’t the best solution, was it? 

“I’m sure we’ll find another pair somewhere, we-“

Liam broke off when they both heard a noise downstairs and Niall’s heart rate immediately increased, staring at Liam with wide eyes, whose brain seemed to be working a lot more quickly than the blonde’s. He put a finger to his lips, making sure to listen for another second until they were both sure that somebody was definitely walking around downstairs.

Had Liam not been here, Niall would have surely screwed up, but he was and so they barely made any sounds when they put their backpacks with them in the walk-in closet of the house and Liam quietly closed the door, locking it from the inside. Chances were whoever was down there would still come up here and possibly even attempt to kick the door in, but it might have also been too much trouble for them. 

“No, stay by the wall.” Liam had gotten his gun out, but he was softly pushing Niall back when the blonde attempted to stand next to him facing the door. “If anybody comes in here I’m gonna shoot them, but if I miss then I don’t know what will happen.” 

“Li, you can’t just shoot people for walking in here.” They were whispering, but Niall was still slightly shocked by how easily Liam had just said that, as if it was the most normal thing in the entire world.

“If I don’t we might be the ones who die. I’m not letting anything happen to you.” The brunette sounded pretty determined and before Niall could have said another word, they could both hear the stairs creaking a bit and Liam shook his head at the blonde so Niall did press himself up against the wall once more, even if he was slightly afraid. 

It seemed to take ages until that person walked into the room they were in, though judging by the sounds it was only one, so at least that was a relief. They seemed to search the whole room before finally trying the door handle of the walk-in closet, only once, and Niall almost wanted to sigh in relief, wondering why Liam wasn’t taking down his gun just yet. It occurred to him pretty quickly once the door flew open all of a sudden, the person behind having kicked it in.

It was stupid but Niall pressed his eyes closed out of instinct, waiting for the promised shot or something else really, but it never came. Instead, all three of them got surprised. 

“Liam?!” At first, Niall didn’t immediately recognize the voice, it was only when it continued that Niall realized it was Zayn. “Where is Niall? Did you not find him?”

“I’m here.” Niall had pushed away from the wall at an instant, his heart bumping faster again, but this time because he was so happy to see Zayn. Unlike Liam.

“Where are Harry and Louis?” The brunette didn’t sound happy whatsoever, he actually reached out for Niall, pulling him closer and then slightly behind him, as if Zayn was a threat or something. Zayn himself seemed slightly confused by that action as well, but he also seemed rather uncomfortable with that question which caused Niall’s heart to sink. 

“We, um… we shouldn’t be talking so loudly.” What?

“Why not?” Liam was rightfully suspicious now, pulling Niall even further behind him when Zayn stepped into the walk-in closet with them, pulling the door shut behind himself. “Don’t come any closer and keep your hands where I can see them.”

“Liam, I’m not gonna hurt you guys, okay? I came alone into this house, but I… I’m with a group of people and I’m not so sure about them.” But if he was in a group… 

“You left Harry and Louis to join another group, after a single day of me and Niall being gone?!” Having raised his voice just a little bit, Liam’s outbreak caused Niall to flinch, he grabbed a tighter hold of the older’s hand and his wrist, not wanting him to start a fight with Zayn but at the same time he probably wouldn’t have stopped him. 

“Listen, I didn’t wanna leave, okay? Harry and Louis went out looking for supplies while you two were gone and-“

“Your story already sounds fake at this point. Why did you let them go alone? Why would they even wanna go alone?” Good questions, suddenly Niall wasn’t too sure about Zayn’s loyalty anymore either. 

“Because they never wanna be apart and somebody had to stay behind in case you guys come back, sure, we could have left a note, but then chances would have been you’d gone out looking for _us_. And they wanted to go because no offense, but you didn’t really bring us that many supplies and we were kinda going a bit crazy sitting around in that house. So they were gone for a while and then suddenly these guys showed up that I’m with now and… they immediately started to ask me a hundred questions and they took the supplies without asking and… I wouldn’t have been able to stop them by myself.” There was no doubt in Niall’s mind who these guys were and it only made him hold on tighter to Liam upon thinking that they were somewhere outside right now. 

“And in all this you had time to leave a message?” Right, Niall had almost forgotten about that. 

“Yes. They asked me if I was with anybody and I said no, so they asked me to join them and I could have declined but why would I have done that if I supposedly was on my own? Also… they’re not really people you say no to and I wanted to make sure they got away from the house before the others come back. They were searching the whole house when I carved the message in the floor, I would have simply pretended it had already been there if the others had asked but they never did. I thought that… I thought for sure the four of you were back together by now.” Fuck, did that mean…

“When was that? Time wise?” Liam asked the exact question that had been on Niall’s mind as well.

“I don’t really know, um… early afternoon? Maybe earlier than that… when did you guys get back? Or did you not?” Now Zayn sounded confused, probably because he was trying to figure out why Niall and Liam had missed the other two. 

“Late afternoon, but we didn’t stay long, we thought… when we read the message we thought it meant all 3 of you had left for whatever reason. I left another one underneath, but… it’d mean Harry and Louis haven’t come back to the house before that or they would have waited for us. It means that… that maybe they never made it back.” And if they had, they would have probably kept going as well upon reading Liam’s message, all on their own and… Niall suddenly felt as if he was going to puke his guts out any second. He knew that the chance of them being dead had definitely been there all along, it just hadn’t ever seemed as real as in that moment. 

“But they only went to the nearby town, they must have come back, there’s no way anything so serious could have happened that neither of them was able to make it.” Zayn’s logic sounded a bit desperate and not at all as if he was believing in any of that himself. 

“You left them to die, didn’t you? And then you took off and found yourself some other group and now you’re making up all this bullshit so that I don’t blow your h-“

“Honestly, why would I make that up? I told you from the beginning I wouldn’t wait around for you guys, but I _would_ have waited for another few days. These guys outside, they wouldn’t have taken Louis and Harry with them or they would have left them to be bitten the first time anything happened, or simply killed them themselves. Listen, they aren’t interested in making friends, they just wanna survive and the only reason they asked me to join them was because they were trying to see whether I’d make their group stronger. They made a hell lot of noise to attract infected and let me fight all of them by myself just to see if I was worth coming with them.” That definitely sounded like the kinda people who Niall had been trying to rob and Liam probably thought the same as he held on tighter to Niall’s hand.

“Oh, boohoo, you had to prove yourself to some idiots out there, do you want me to thank you or something? I don’t trust you and if this is some kinda trap or something then you’re dead.” Liam wasn’t having any of it and Niall thought about saying something as well but his mind felt kinda empty and also, he suddenly wasn’t sure anymore if he trusted Zayn either. Plus, there were guys outside who would have probably killed him on sight, so that was a little distracting as well. 

“Why do you even care so much? Last time I checked the only thing you cared about was Niall, you had no problem leaving Harry and Louis with me for god knows how long and by the looks of it, you never even bothered looking for them after you read my message. So how exactly is it my fault if anything happened to them? I went with those guys in order to protect them, what did you do, Liam? Except for having a heart attack every time your boyfriend is out of your sight for 5 seconds.” The last part was kinda true, but there was really no need for Zayn to be so rude or to try and blame Liam because in the end, they couldn’t have changed anything about this situation anymore. 

“You know _nothing_ about me and yes, I did leave Harry and Louis with you because I was stupid enough to trust you, but _clearly_ that was a mistake. We assumed the message included all three of you, so what were we supposed to do besides follow the route and hope to bump into you? Which, by the way, it seems slightly weird that we’re meeting here, did you seriously tell these guys about Toronto?” If he had then they were screwed because either they’d have to run from these guys or stay behind them, meaning that they would take most of the supplies ahead. 

“Did I tell them about your fairytale story on how we’re all going to magically get rescued so that they will kill me when it turns out wrong? I didn’t tell them shit.” Zayn sounded really worked up by now and so did Liam, they were also talking rather loudly and the blonde was getting nervous and scared, so he decided that this was going absolutely nowhere. 

“Can we all just… stop fighting, please? There’s no point in arguing about it anymore, Harry and Louis aren’t here and blaming each other won’t make us find them… Li, we’ll never know if Zayn is telling the truth or not, but those guys, what if they are the ones who… you know.” Niall was looking at Liam only, not really caring about Zayn’s presence right now. 

The brunette’s expression got a lot softer when he turned to Niall and so did his voice, something the blonde had never really realized before and maybe it was the first time it had happened but it definitely made his heart flutter. “It’s okay, babe, we’re gonna wait until they’re gone and Zayn is going to tell them that he cleared the house.”

“Am I?” Zayn asked, sounding slightly amused now and of course Liam immediately threw a death glare at him.

“Yes, and then you will make sure you guys walk anywhere else besides on the route that I drew on that stupid map for you because if you think I believe that you didn’t tell them anything then you’re dead wrong.” Honestly, if it had been anybody else, Niall was sure that they wouldn’t have wanted to mess with him, but this was Zayn, and he was definitely not going to let Liam boss him around.

“And what if I don’t?” Oh my god, did he want to rat them out?! “I never wanted to join these guys and I only went with them to save Harry and Louis and because they would have made me come with them anyways. But-“

“No. No way, you’re not coming with us again, not after all this shit. If those guys out there are really as dangerous as you say then there’s no way that they would just let you go and I’m not gonna have them hunt us down and risk our lives for you after you left our friends for dead. We’re good on our own, thanks very much, you can leave now.” Liam’s voice was hard and it almost made the blonde flinch, throwing a look at Zayn to see whether he was going to try to convince the brunette to change his mind.

Apparently though, Zayn had given up.

“Well, good luck on your own then and have fun not being able to sleep through the night and having nobody else there to help you protect your boy. Would have worked out great a week ago, right?” With that, Zayn simply left the room, closing the door behind himself rather harshly and making the blonde flinch. Fuck.

For a moment, neither of them spoke a word but the blonde kept clinging to the older’s hand, his heart beating fast again at the thought of Zayn going outside to rat them out to his new group. Then again, what would he gain from that, it’d only get him into more trouble if anything and also, it hadn’t really sounded like it. Despite everything, Niall still kinda wished Zayn would have come with them, even if he knew that it wouldn’t have been the smartest idea.

“What are we gonna do now?” Niall finally spoke up after a minute of silence, squeezing Liam’s hand a bit to get the brunette to look at him. 

“I… I don’t know. We should get our stuff and stay ready to leave in case Zayn comes back with those guys.” Liam actually didn’t sound relieved that Zayn had left, but he also didn’t sound scared, more like… disappointed. Maybe guilty.

“Li… you know Zayn only said all that stuff because he was angry, right? It’s not your fault we lost Harry and Louis, I… if anything it’s mine, because I went out looking for you and-“

“No, Nialler, it’s not your fault, okay? None of it. And… I know it isn’t Zayn’s either, but we can’t be sure what really happened. I couldn’t let him come with us, they would have never let him go just like that and it’d be stupid to take an unnecessary risk for him. Your safety matters most to me and we’re good on our own, we don’t need him.” It sounded a little bit as if Liam was trying to convince himself and he did seem slightly tense as well so Niall made sure to try and smile at him, leaning over to press his lips against the brunette’s cheek. 

“There’s a chance Harry and Louis are behind us, right? They got a map as well.” Maybe it was stupid to still have hopes left, but what else could Niall have done to stay sane?

“Yeah… maybe. C’mere.” Liam didn’t sound too convinced, which was understandable, but he pulled the blonde into a pretty tight hug afterwards so that was fine. “Everything will be okay, I promise.”

“I never doubted that.” Niall laughed a bit though he wasn’t really that amused, holding on tighter to the brunette when he felt him kissing the side of his head. “I don’t think Zayn was making any of it up, like… he had no reason to. And he just left like that.”

“I know, but I still don’t wanna risk it…. it’s not gonna bring Harry and Louis back and it’s not gonna help us in any way to have him with us, it’d just make everything harder.” This was true, however, it would have helped them to have Zayn with them again, not only because he was a lot more skilled in fighting than Niall but also because what he had said about sleeping through the night wasn’t exactly wrong. “We’ll just keep going, the two of us, we were fine before we’ll be fine now.”

“Okay… “ Was there really anything else left for the blonde to stay? He trusted Liam, he knew the brunette would have done anything to keep him safe and he was kinda done talking about Zayn because the boy was gone anyways and they couldn’t have gone after him even they had wanted to.

They kept holding onto each other for a little while longer, there were no sounds coming from the outside and at some point Liam pulled away from the blonde, kissing his forehead and telling him to stay in the closet while he was looking out the window. It seemed though that Zayn had genuinely told his group that he had cleared the house and that they had moved on, which Niall was kinda surprised by, but then again, not really.

Just to be safe, they waited for another half an hour before gathering their supplies and leaving the house and even then Liam seemed kinda wary of the situation, but nothing happened, no one was there, it was just the two of them once more, as if they had never even talked to Zayn at all.

 

\--------------------

 

Liam simply couldn’t get his mind to clear in order to think straight and it wasn’t really helping that Niall was moving the whole time because of how uneasy his sleep seemed to be, making the brunette worry even more than he usually would have. He simply couldn’t stop thinking about seeing Zayn hours ago and the fact that they had all left Harry and Louis behind without even considering that they may have been about to get back to the house. 

But how had Liam been supposed to know that they had gone out looking for supplies? And who knew if they would have ever come back anyways, according to Zayn they had been out for hours already by the time Niall and Liam had reached the house. Still, the brunette felt so guilty it was eating him alive and the only thing that made it a little bit better was holding Niall more tightly to his chest, stroking his hair and reminding himself why he was doing all this.

Having Zayn with them would have brought advantages of course, but Liam wasn’t sure if he’d be able to trust him and even if he did, it wouldn’t have really mattered. Liam wasn’t about to risk Niall’s life for Zayn, they’d need long enough to Toronto anyways, they didn’t need to be chased by some other group. Maybe they weren’t as bad a Zayn had described them, but why would they have risked it? They were good on their own and if it meant Liam could sleep a little less then that was completely fine and there was absolutely no need to change anything about their situation if it was currently working.

Then again, Liam really hoped that they’d find Harry and Louis again, not only because he wanted to ease his guilt but also… well, they were their friends after all, even if it had taken the brunette quite some time to admit it to himself.

“Hmm… Li… “ Niall’s quiet mumbling almost made the brunette flinch, having kind of been lost in thoughts but still automatically tightening his arms again, pressing his lips on the top of the blonde’s head. They weren’t in a really comfortable position on the couch in the living room of some house, both of them sitting up, but the blonde had curled up next to the brunette, his head resting in the crook of shoulder, arm wrapped so tightly around the older’s stomach as if he didn’t want to let go even in his sleep. 

Liam didn’t answer, simply hoping that Niall wasn’t going to wake up because it wasn’t even that late yet. Ever since they had started sleeping curled up into each other, Liam was sleeping a lot better in terms of nightmares and the blonde had told him he felt the same way, which had kinda made the brunette ridiculously happy. Just to think that he was making Niall feel a little bit safer by simply being there and holding him was maybe one of the best feelings ever. 

The thing was, he had so many more hours ahead of him before he could wake Niall or before it’d be morning because he probably wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways and the brunette just knew he wouldn’t be able to stop worrying until then. And probably also not tomorrow or anytime soon. 

Niall kept moving a bit and mumbling stuff into Liam’s shoulder, but it didn’t seem as if the blonde was having an uneasy sleep or anything, so the brunette let him sleep, just stroking his hair and leaning his cheek against the younger’s head, waiting for the hours to go by. 

The blonde must have been asleep for quite some time when Liam suddenly got a really weird feeling about being in this house. They had obviously cleared it before and had furthermore blocked the back entrance, so there actually wasn’t a reason for Liam to be nervous at all. Well, except for the fact that apparently Zayn and his group were taking the same route for whatever reason, but they had walked for a few more hours ever since they had talked to Zayn so… plus, it was the middle of the night, it seemed unlikely that anybody would burst in here. 

Despite knowing all this, Liam started to feel so uncomfortable at some point that he very gently got up off the couch, making sure Niall didn’t wake up before tucking him in properly, getting his gun from the coffee table. There was definitely some kinda noise outside that the brunette had brushed off as being the wind, but he wasn’t actually sure if there even was any wind outside.

There was no way anybody could have gotten in without Liam noticing, so he didn’t feel too nervous leaving the blonde in the living room while slowly walking towards the front door, almost holding his breath as he reached out for the door handle, his other hand clenched around his gun. He was 99% sure that he was simply becoming paranoid, but that 1% made him open the front door, being hit with cold air and darkness. 

Obviously Liam wasn’t planning on simply walking outside or away from the house, but he still took another step to look around the corner, his heart almost stopping when he saw a shadow moving by the side of the house. 

It was so dark that Liam wasn’t able to make out whether it was a normal person or an infected, so there was really no choice about what to do. “What are you doing?”

Whoever the person was wouldn’t have been able to hurt Liam, he was half hiding behind the wall of the house and also, he himself wasn’t able to see clearly, so the other person wasn’t either. And it did seem to be a normal person because the shadow visibly moved, as if he was surprised about being addressed.

He definitely wasn’t the only one getting a surprise tonight. 

“Liam?” Oh god. 

It took a moment for Liam to recognize Zayn’s voice, almost wanting to let out a groan when he slowly lowered his gun only to realize that there was a possibility that the other boy wasn’t alone. “Did you follow us?”

“What? No, I would have simply come inside if I had known you guys were in there, I was trying to get to the back entrance just in case but it’s bloody dark.” Right, what the fuck?

“Where is your group?” This was all Liam really cared about, he couldn’t see much in complete darkness as he let his eyes wander, at the same time not wanting to leave Zayn out of his sight though. Seemed like all of his worries from before had just become reality.

“I don’t know, I left as soon as everyone was asleep.” Zayn was coming closer now so they could speak more quietly and Liam slowly lowered his arm holding the gun, kinda walking backwards into the house again because there was nothing he could have done to stop Zayn anyways. 

“So you left them to die as well? Seems like a pattern with you.” The brunette couldn’t help the sarcastic comment, not walking back into the living room though even once he was inside the house, waiting for Zayn to close the door behind himself after he had followed Liam without asking. 

“No, no one in that group ever takes watch during the night.” Sounded stupid as hell, but Liam wasn’t really in the mood to comment, he was pissed and also scared. “I wasn’t following you guys, I couldn’t have, I’ve just been wandering around for a few hours checking out houses and looking for supplies. If I had taken any of their stuff they would have come looking for me.”

“Why did you even leave them in the first place? Me and Niall are fine on our own.” Just to make that clear one more time, in case he hadn’t gotten it into his head yet. 

“After seeing you guys before… I don’t know, I think a part of me thought we’d never see each other again and that maybe all of you are dead, but… you found Niall and you’re both still alive and… I still think we could help each other out. But I didn’t leave thinking I’d find you, I just realized I didn’t wanna stay with these guys anymore.” Sounded like a lie, but how would Liam ever find out whether it was? 

“Okay, fine, but you can’t stay with us. I’m not gonna put Niall in any risk just because you didn’t wanna stay with these guys anymore.” Liam wanted Zayn to leave, but he had no idea how to make him now that he had broken away from his group and also, it didn’t seem like Zayn would have let Liam convince him to leave either ways. 

“Then you’re being stupid as hell because how many people out here that would offer to help you protect Niall do you know? Exactly one and that is me. And if you find Harry and Louis then good luck to you finding enough supplies for all of you and making sure no one dies. Maybe you don’t need me right now but you will, I can promise you that.” Zayn sounded so confident about it that it made Liam wanna agree even less, because what the fuck? Why did he wanna go with them so badly anyways?

“And what makes you think I trust you? You left Harry and Louis alone and just now you left your new group in the middle of the night while they were asleep, how could I _ever_ trust you again?” Seriously though, even if Zayn was telling the truth the whole time, there was no way of Liam knowing. 

“I don’t think you have a choice, Liam.” The other boy had waited a moment before saying it out loud and before Liam could have asked what that was supposed to mean, his worst nightmare was already becoming reality. “I didn’t tell them about Toronto, they already knew about it. We’re all walking into the very same direction.” 

“You’re lying. And even if you weren’t, why would that make me want to take you with us? You can’t help us in case we run into them, if anything, they might even wanna hurt us just because they’re pissed off you left them. And if they see you with us… “ Then Liam didn’t even wanna know what would possibly happen. 

“If they see you with all your supplies then you can bet your ass they will try to get them no matter if I’m there or not. I know their route, you don’t, I know where to go to avoid running into them again, but if you wanna risk it… go right ahead.” Shit. “Think about Niall.”

“Thinking about Niall is all I bloody do.” Liam half snapped before finally putting his gun into the back of his jeans in order to have his hands free so that he could rub them across his face, not knowing what to do now. 

“Where even is he?” It was so weird and confusing Liam in his decision, the way Zayn would switch from predicting their deaths to simply asking where Niall was. 

“He’s asleep, over there.” Liam was able to see Niall from where he was standing or otherwise he would have long freaked out. “Look, I don’t know if you’re lying or not and I’m honestly done trying to figure it out. Fact is that Harry and Louis are somewhere out there and you were the one supposed to look out for them and now you’re part of a group, who is possibly the same group that tried to kill Niall before and-“

“Wait, what?” Right, Zayn didn’t even know about that.

“The way you described them kinda makes them sound like the kinda guys who Niall almost stole from when he was out looking for me and I found him hiding from them. But I don’t know… there are probably more groups like that out there.” Their own group had been the exception, then again, Liam had never been open about new people either and he had kinda started to feel wary about everybody they met, feeling as if though killing them would have at least put them out of danger. 

“If Niall tried to steal from them and they remember him then you could as well give up now.” Zayn shrugged, as if he didn’t even care or something and it only made Liam even more angry because what the fuck? “Me telling you where not to go is your only chance.”

“Quit telling me fairytales, Zayn.” Liam was so done and confused, he had no idea what to believe anymore and it was so frustrating to think that maybe Zayn was right. Maybe they would eventually pass path with these guys and then who knew what would happen? “Why’d you only tell me this now? Them going to Toronto, I mean? You could have told us that hours ago.”

“You didn’t exactly leave me any time to tell you, did you? You wanted me to leave, so I did. Also, I was a little bit pissed off you honestly thought I left Louis and Harry to die when all I did was trying to protect them.” He shrugged, simply walking past Liam into the house and the brunette could feel his hands forming into fists, but he didn’t stop Zayn. 

“And next time you’re pissed off at me you’ll just steal our supplies and take off during the night?” Liam was now half whispering as he followed Zayn because he didn’t want Niall to wake up under any circumstance. 

“Why would I do that? I don’t wanna be on my own and I’d rather be with you guys than those assholes, I would have never gone with them if they had left me a choice.” He did sound very honest, but of course he had had enough time to fabricate that story and Liam was just tired of fighting with him.

Plus, they were now in the room where Niall was still on the couch and Liam knew he wouldn’t get Zayn to leave anymore tonight, so he simply gave up. Zayn threw a look at Niall before going to sit in the armchair and Liam only hesitated for the split of a second before walking back to the couch, very carefully lifting Niall’s head before sitting down, placing it in his lap and the blonde adjusted even in his sleep. 

“I see you guys didn’t waste your time alone.” God.

“Can you just be quiet and pretend you’re not there?” Liam felt a bit calmer now that he had Niall’s head in his lap, stroking the younger’s hair in even motions.

“You’re still exactly as grumpy as before, lucky me I was afraid you had changed.” Zayn joked, but at least he was whispering as well. “You know, I feel like it’s unfair if you’re the only one who decides whether I should stay or leave, after all you and Niall are a team, right? Possibly a couple, but I know you don’t wanna talk about that. I think we should wait until tomorrow and let Niall decide.”

Niall would say yes without hesitation, Liam just knew it and he really didn’t want to agree but at the same time he hated how much truth there was in Zayn’s words. If he sent Zayn away now, he knew Niall would be pissed in the morning and Liam had to agree that now that he knew about Zayn’s other group going to Toronto as well, it made a lot more sense to take Zayn with them. Even if he was lying, it was probably better than taking the risk and running into them again. 

“If he says you gotta go then you gotta go.” Was all Liam answered after a moment of hesitation and Zayn immediately agreed, probably because they both knew what was going to happen anyways.

“Works for me, now… since you probably don’t trust me enough to stay awake, I’m gonna go to sleep for a few hours.” With that, he moved around on the chair until he was comfortable and Liam was once again left alone by himself with all his thoughts and worries, feeling as if he was going insane.

If only they could have found Harry and Louis to ask them what had really happened, Liam would have felt so much better about taking Zayn with them and trusting him.

 

\-----------------

 

“Are you being serious about this? They wanna go to Toronto as well?” The thing was, after Zayn had told Niall the whole story as well, he seemed more excited than afraid, exactly as Liam had feared. “If more people know about it, maybe that means it really is true.”

“Maybe, I don’t know, I still don’t believe in that story. Anyways, Liam said that you had some encounter with them where you tried to rob them or something? I don’t think it’d be a good idea if they see you again. We can just avoid them, the three of us, I don’t wanna go back to them and I know being alone sucks, so just like last time, it’d be beneficial for all of us to stick together.” Zayn was exactly speaking the way Niall had when he had tried to convince Liam to come with them again and Liam already knew what the blonde wanted to say when he looked at him.

“Li?” The fact that Niall seemed to still want Liam to be the one to have the last word made the brunette sigh and though Zayn was there, he still reached out for the blonde’s hand. It was early in the morning, had just gotten light actually, and Niall still looked sleepy as hell and so cute that Liam wanted to just squeeze and kiss him. 

“You decide, babe, if you want him to come with us he can.” Even if Liam hated saying it out loud, he was still smiling at Niall, hoping the blonde would stop having doubts because of him and just say what he wanted to say. 

“I… I think it’d be much safer if we’re three. And then we could switch with taking watch during the night and everything and… we could avoid these guys, so… I’d say we should take him with us.” Niall said it slowly, as if he was afraid of Liam’s reaction, but Liam had had enough time during the night to make up his mind and he had decided that what Niall wanted would go, so…

“Okay. So where are we going, Zayn?” Zayn clearly seemed surprised by that quick answer, but he didn’t hesitate to get out his maps, almost as if he was excited to rearrange the whole route Liam had planned. But if this was what Niall thought was best and if he was able to trust Zayn, then Liam would try to do the same. 

It wasn’t a completely other route in the end, but still different and Liam tried to just take it without complaining because there was no use. Apparently Zayn knew where they had to go and it was surely better than running into that group, that maybe didn’t even want them any harm, but how would Liam know, right? 

Zayn was clearly excited about being able to come with them and he was walking ahead of them once they had left the house, maybe to give them privacy or maybe because he wanted to be the boss or something. Liam knew the way as well so he didn’t actually mind, especially not anymore once Niall had intertwined their fingers. 

“I’m glad you’re letting him come with us.” Niall started after a moment, making the brunette feel even worse.

“It wasn’t my decision alone and… it is safer to take him with us, even if I’m not sure I believe his story about his group going to Toronto.” It seemed a bit random to be honest, but if Zayn wanted to come with them so desperately… 

“You know what I was thinking? That maybe it’s my old group, the one who left me behind when I was bitten because they were the ones who told me about people being rescued.” Oh.

“I… I didn’t even think about that… wait, you told Zayn they’re dead, right? He doesn’t even know you’re immune.” Well, hopefully they would never cross paths with these people again, otherwise they’d possibly have more than just one problem. 

“Yeah, but I don’t think Zayn would care if he found out I lied if I’m being honest. He seems really glad we allowed him to come with us and I know there’s a possibility he just made all this up, but I just don’t see why he would have left Louis and Harry alone after only one day.” True, but then again, they didn’t know Zayn THAT well. “I just really hope they’re okay… “

“I hope so too, babe.” But the chances were so slim that Liam wasn’t making himself any hopes anymore. “So… you got any questions today?”

Liam was trying to lighten the mood and to maybe distract both of them a little bit and the blonde seemed only too happy to oblige because it only took him a few seconds to already blurt out with his first question, asking the brunette about his job as a teacher. Liam had kinda gotten more relaxed with the more private questions Niall was asking him because he had already told him what had happened to his family and he kinda felt closer to the blonde whenever they were talking about these kinda things, which wasn’t exactly a bad thing.

Zayn didn’t walk ahead of them the whole day long, he did let himself fall back at one point to start a conversation and though Liam was a little bit annoyed, he tried to be nice when Niall threw a look at him. The fact that they were now three didn’t keep the blonde from being affectionate with Liam, clinging to his hand and kissing him when they took a small break to study the maps some more, which the third boy obviously saw but chose not to comment. He was probably saving that for when the blonde had gone to sleep. 

It was starting to become a bit darker when they searched a collection of houses, Liam making sure that Niall stayed with him of course while he didn’t care all too much about where Zayn went. They didn’t find many supplies, which was fine because their backpacks were still filled and everything. 

“Li, wait a second.” Liam had been about to get out of the house after they had searched it, but the blonde quickly held him back by his hand, smiling at him when the brunette looked at him in confusion. “We probably won’t get too much time alone now that Zayn is back.”

“Probably… why?” Right after Liam had asked the question, Niall had already stepped closer and it made click in Liam’s head as he felt a smirk spreading on his lips, not having to wait very long for his answer. 

Niall actually never said anything at all, he simply leaned in until his lips met Liam’s, his arms wrapping around the brunette’s neck while Liam pulled the blonde in closer until their bodies were pressed against one another. They hadn’t snogged in way too long, so Liam immediately relaxed his jaw when he felt the blonde’s tongue on his bottom lip, allowing him to lick into his mouth.

Kissing Niall was the only thing that completely took Liam’s mind off of everything possibly going on and even though he knew it was kinda wrong to leave Zayn outside waiting, he honestly didn’t care one bit when he tasted the blonde in his mouth, his fingers pulling on the hair in the back of Liam’s neck, the brunette’s mind focusing on nothing else besides his boyfriend.

Until Niall suddenly pulled away with a shriek. 

“ _Liam!_ ”

It happened in the split of a second, Niall screaming and the brunette spinning around only for his head to painfully hit the ground a moment later. An infected had walked through the door that they had left open before, surprising them while they had been busy with each other and Liam had no way of getting to his weapons while he was on the floor, trying to fight off the infected on top of him with his arms. 

Niall had stabbed it in the head just a second later and pushed it off of the brunette and though Liam momentarily felt relief despite his heart pounding fast, when he looked down, he knew exactly where the blonde’s eyes had been drawn to as well when he let out a gasp.

The bloody bite on Liam’s lower arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the ending and yet another cliffhanger, I was watching a thriller while writing the ending and it kind of inspire me!
> 
> Happy Easter to everybody who celebrates and a good weekend to all of you, I hope you enjoyed the chapter regardless of the ending and I would love to hear your thoughts as always :)
> 
> <3


	8. Chapter 8

“No… no, no, please, no.“ Niall was freaking the hell out, he could barely breathe staring at the bite on Liam’s arm, his head already feeling dizzy and if he had been able to move just one muscle, he would have pinched himself hard to make sure it wasn’t a dream. His worst nightmare becoming reality. 

“Ni-“

“We can fix this, we can… I have… “ Without finishing his sentence, Niall had dropped his backpack, not being able to grasp just one clear thought as he started to throw all his supplies on the floor, his hands shaking like crazy as he looked for the disinfectant and possibly any other medical supply they had. “It’s not deep, it’s only on the surface and it’s only been a minute, it’ll be fine.”

“Nialler… “ Liam had sat up in the meantime, but the blonde completely ignored him, grabbing a hold of his wrist once he had found what he had been looking for, pulling his arm closer and the brunette just let him, hissing in pain when Niall poured pretty much the whole bottle of disinfectant over his bite. There was no need in saving any of it if Liam didn’t make it. 

“Okay…. Okay, maybe my blood-“

“Niall, stop. Look at me.” The older boy’s arm was completely dripping now, the bite looking even tinier now that Niall had washed away all the blood, but he still needed a moment to tear his eyes away from it and look into Liam’s instead, already feeling the tears building up. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Nothing will be fine if you turn into one of them, I won’t let that happen.” And with that, Niall had simply taken his second, clean knife and cut along his own arm without thinking, barely feeling the pain because of how surreal this whole situation was. Niall hadn’t cut too deep, but blood was still dripping down his arm and though Liam would have surely stopped him had he seen it coming, the blonde pressed their wounds together. “If I’m immune then maybe my blood makes you immune too.”

“I… I’m not sure that’s how it works. But it might.” Liam added the last part after a second of hesitation and Niall knew he was just trying to calm him down so he didn’t answer, simply making sure their arms were still pressed together. This had to work, it just had to, Liam couldn’t turn or die, Niall needed him so much. “Ni… please don’t cry.”

“I’m not.” The blonde said it automatically while realizing the very same second that he was indeed crying, wiping his eyes with his free arm though it was completely unnecessary because more tears kept coming just a moment later and before Niall knew it, he was full on bawling. “I c-can’t l-lose y-you… “

“And you won’t, I’m right here, okay? Let’s get your arm cleaned up, yeah? I think that’s enough.” Niall thought about fighting Liam but then he didn’t, allowing the older boy to clean his wound with what was left of the disinfectant before wrapping it up in bandages, all while the blonde was sobbing, not knowing what the fuck he was supposed to do now. He had had nightmares about this, but they hadn’t been anything like this. “Come here, babe.”

Liam pulled Niall closer after treating his wound and the blonde simply buried his face against Liam’s neck, crying into his skin while the other boy was just holding him close, rubbing his hand up and down Niall’s back. “M-Maybe… maybe y-you w-were i-immune all a-along t-too… “

“Yeah, maybe, who knows, right? Anything is possible, I feel completely fine, it doesn’t even hurt right now.” Of course Liam was just saying what Niall wanted to hear, probably because he was scared to death also, but the blonde allowed himself to believe it for a second, not being able to stop the shakes going through his body or the tears though. “Everything is going to be alright, baby, I promise.”

“N-Nothing will b-be a-alright if y-you’re g-gone… “ Honestly, Niall wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to carry on walking if he lost Liam, because what was the bloody point? The chances of them getting rescued had been pretty much non existent all along and losing Liam after losing everything else already… Niall wouldn’t survive that.

“I’m right here, Ni-“

“Y-Yes, _n-now!_ T-Tomorrow you m-might n-not… “ Niall couldn’t help it anymore, he twisted his fingers into Liam’s shirt, curling more into the older boy’s body while sobbing, feeling so sick to his stomach that he probably could have thrown up all over Liam right now if he had had anything to eat today. 

Liam didn’t say anything else anymore after that, but he tightened his arms, pressing his lips against the top of Niall’s head and sending goosebumps all over the blonde’s body when he breathed out against his scalp. To think that maybe Niall would never experience any of that again, Liam holding and kissing him, was almost unbearable. 

“What’s going on?” Zayn’s voice made Niall flinch terribly though it didn’t make him lift his head or move away from Liam, not really caring anymore what happened now. “Did you get attacked?”

“I got bit.” Liam just said it, probably showing Zayn his arm or something because he let go of the blonde for a second and Niall could hear the third boy gasp in shock.

“ _What?!_ Why didn’t you just fucking cut it straight off?!” WHAT?

“I-“

“We’re not cutting off his arm, shut the fuck up!” Niall hadn’t been able to hold it in, glaring at Zayn through his tears, because what the hell?! “He’d bleed to death!”

“Still better taking that chance than knowing he will turn!” To be fair, Zayn did have a point, but… 

“We don’t have anything to cut it off with, we’d kill him and the virus would spread in the meantime, stop being a fucking asshole, just leave us the fuck alone!” Seriously, this was all Niall wanted right now, be alone with Liam and for Zayn to get lost. “This is your fault! If you hadn’t come with us we would have never come here, we-“

“If I hadn’t you’d both be dead sooner or later anyways once those guys find you, but I can leave if you want to deal with zombie Liam by yourself tomorrow.” That was it.

“Niall, stop!” Liam barely managed to hold Niall back as the blonde had been about to get up, already having grabbed the knife he had used to cut himself moments ago. “Please stop, okay? There’s no point in fighting, it already happened. It’s not Zayn’s fault, it could have happened any day at any time and we’d be too late cutting my arm off anyways.”

“So what now? Are we just gonna wait for you to turn or something? Because that’s what’s going to happen, you know that, right? Both of you? And why are you bleeding as well?” Zayn was now referring to Niall’s bandaged arm that had turned a little red already, sitting down on the lowest step of the house next to them and Niall was still holding the knife clenched in his fist. 

For just a second, Niall hesitated, because had had kept this a secret from Zayn, but he was so upset and scared and he just wanted Zayn to shut the hell up and stop talking about Liam turning. “I’m immune to the virus, my blood might help him so I cut myself.”

“You’re… what? How do you know?” Surprisingly enough, Zayn didn’t sound as if he was questioning Niall’s immunity.

“I was bitten several times, my old group left me to turn, that’s how Liam and the others found me three weeks later.” Niall knew that Liam had wanted him to keep it a secret, but the brunette actually didn’t say a word, he just pulled Niall back against him once more and the blonde of course didn’t fight his arms.

“Didn’t you say your old group died? Well, anyways… “ Was all Zayn said and before Niall could really grow confused as to why he didn’t seem to care, he had already given them an explanation. “I don’t wanna discourage you guys or anything, but I was with people as well months ago and one of them was immune to the virus too, he did the same you did to his son when he was bitten, but… he still turned.”

“So? Maybe he wasn’t actually immune, maybe he lied, maybe-“

“You don’t have to believe me, I just don’t want you to make yourself any hopes that Liam will be alright. It’s very unlikely your blood can make him immune this quickly, and especially against a virus that is so aggressive and spreads so fast.” Honestly, Niall was 0.1 seconds from wrapping his hands around Zayn’s neck, which Liam must have noticed because he suddenly held the blonde a lot tighter. “But hey, he might be immune, you never know. It’ll take hours before we know, the bite is really small, you might not even show symptoms until tomorrow.” 

“Can you just shut up?” Niall was done talking about it, he already felt so horrible he really didn’t need Zayn telling him to stop having hopes, because how else would Niall survive this? 

“No, because immune or not, we gotta keep moving, we’re still too close to where the others are and if it turns out Liam is fine then we still need to survive somehow, so let’s get going.” With that, Zayn got up off the step, showing no sign of actually caring about what might happen to Liam. Deep down, Niall knew that it was probably a defense mechanism, Zayn always stayed rational and it sounded like he had lost a lot of groups and people, so this probably wasn’t anything new to him.

Niall did realize that they had to keep moving even if he just wanted to sit here and cry into Liam’s shoulder some more. The brunette was smiling when Niall looked at him, reaching out to softly wipe his thumbs over the younger’s tear tracks before leaning in to kiss him on the lips, right in front of Zayn. 

“Does it hurt?” The blonde was really concerned after they had all gotten up and were ready to leave, his whole face feeling as if it was freezing once they were back outside because it was still wet from all the tears. Honestly, Niall felt on the verge of crying again already, he had no idea how he would even survive until tomorrow or even after, having to wait whether Liam was going to show any symptoms or not, it was honestly like torture.

“No, not at all. Yours?” Liam was trying so hard to pretend everything was normal, Niall could just tell. 

“No.” It did, but Niall didn’t care one bit, he made sure to intertwine his fingers with Liam’s as they walked, curling the fingers of his free hand around the inside of the brunette’s arm so they could be closer. There was no way Niall would let go of Liam and waste any of their time together even if just the thought of maybe not having the brunette with him anymore in maybe just a day was driving the blonde insane. And what would he even do if Liam really did turn? Niall wouldn’t be able to like… kill him, because what if there actually was a chance to be cured?! “I shouldn’t have distracted you by kissing you, I-“

“Ni, it isn’t your fault, okay? It’s no one’s fault, it just happened, it could have happened days ago or tomorrow, but… it doesn’t mean anything for now, and maybe it never will.” They just had to wait, but that was the very worst part of it all, if there had been a way for Niall to know right now then he wouldn’t have hesitated even if it would have killed him. “It’s gonna be fine.”

“Nothing will be fine.” Niall couldn’t help it, the thought of losing Liam was so terrifying that he could only bear walking right now if he tried to ignore what had happened. Which was pretty damn hard. “We shouldn’t have taken Zayn with us.”

Liam only squeezed Niall’s fingers and dropped a kiss on the top of his head without answering and the blonde knew exactly why. It was obvious that Liam didn’t actually believe that things would be fine and that he was now glad that Zayn was with them because otherwise, Niall would have been left behind on his own. And even worse, he would have been alone in dealing with the aftermath of Liam being bitten.

The blonde couldn’t help the tears spilling over once more while they were walking behind Zayn, every single step feeling as if it was making Liam sicker. 

 

\-------------------

 

Liam didn’t know what to do, he was freaking out on the inside and he had to pretend not to on the outside for Niall, because the blonde hadn’t stopped crying in hours. Imaging the situation the other way around, Liam really got it, he knew that no matter what he said or promised, it didn’t mean anything because there was absolutely no way of knowing what would happen. If Liam would turn or not.

They walked for a few more hours, not really saying all that much to one another and Zayn stayed ahead of them the whole time, as if he was pissed off or something. Maybe he was, but Liam didn’t care, he needed to make sure he got to talk to him before it’d be too late, make sure Zayn wouldn’t leave Niall alone in case… in case anything happened. 

“How are you feeling?” This was the one question that Niall asked every half an hour, but the answer was always the same. Liam felt fine, he had no symptoms, it was like it had never happened. Of course that didn’t mean anything, the bite had been small and superficial and it had only been a few hours.

“I’m fine, baby.” Though it was hard, Liam made sure to smile at the blonde, pulling him with him on the couch of the house that they had found to spend the night in. By now they were almost a whole day away from Liam’s original route, meaning that they had definitely lost time, but like… it’s not like that still mattered right now. But it would to Niall and Zayn, maybe more than ever in a few days or just hours. 

“Are you sure?” Niall’s hand was on Liam’s forehead before Liam had even realized what he was doing, continuing to feel the skin on Liam’s cheeks as well and the brunette just let him because it seemed to make Niall feel a little better. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better, right?”

“No, I promise I feel completely fine, Nialler.” At least for now it was still the truth.

“We should still discuss what we’re gonna do in case this ends badly.” Zayn threw in from the other side of the room. “I mean, I really get that this is emotional for you guys, but we can’t just not talk about it.”

“What do you wanna talk about?” Liam felt the younger boy tensing up next to him, so he made sure to tighten his arm around Niall’s shoulders, a little bit scared he might snap at Zayn again like he had a few hours ago. 

“In case you turn… do you want me to like… shoot you?” Right, maybe Liam should have not agreed to this right now. 

“I mean… I-“

“We don’t need to talk about that, maybe ever. He has no symptoms and he is completely fine and it’s already been hours, so can you maybe stop talking about how you wanna kill my boyfriend?” The blonde was shaking, Liam could tell because Niall was curled up underneath his arm and his voice broke a little at the end, the last word causing Liam’s stomach to twist. They had only ever talked about being together once and yeah, there weren’t a lot of other people who they could have told, so this was coming a bit out of nowhere. 

“I was just asking, okay? I mean, yeah, he is fine _now_ , but in a few hours things might be a bit different. Look, I don’t mean to be insensitive-“

“You are.” Niall interrupted, which was kinda true, but Zayn ignored him anyways.

“But we can’t just ignore that Liam got bitten and not discuss what we’re gonna do when he turns.” True, actually, Liam had a lot of things to say to Zayn, but he couldn’t do that in front of Niall because the blonde would have freaked the hell out. 

“IF he turns. And he won’t.” Now the blonde sounded like a stubborn child, but at least he hadn’t lost all hope and at least he wasn’t crying right now because whenever he did, it was absolutely killing Liam inside. 

“He might, even if you don’t wanna realize that. But I hope you’re right, Niall, for all our sakes.” Finally Zayn seemed to realize that there was no use in talking about it, he did throw a look at Liam though and the brunette shook his head slowly, hoping the other boy would get the hint. “Okay, well… who is taking first watch?”

“Me.” Of course Niall would take first watch, and probably all night long and there was nothing at all Liam could have done to change that. After all, he couldn’t be the one taking watch in case he’d turn, which was probably the scariest thought ever.

“Wake me when you get tired.” So basically, never.

They watched Zayn getting his stuff out before lying down on the carpet, his body only a silhouette anymore after a few minutes because of how quickly it had gotten dark. This was going to be one long night, Liam doubted that he would get just one second of sleep and also… what was the point in sleeping now? He didn’t know how much time he had left with Niall and though this whole situation was completely surreal and Liam was sure he would have been freaking out had he really let it sink in, he was aware that this could have possibly been his very last night, ever. 

“Do you wanna sleep?” Niall was whispering, probably so Zayn could go to sleep but he probably already had, they were usually all so exhausted that they slept in two minutes after closing their eyes. 

“No, I’m gonna stay awake with you.” Liam smiled at the blonde before realizing it was probably too dark for him to see so instead he leaned in to kiss Niall’s forehead, lingering a bit longer while trying to fight back some tears. It was definitely worse now that it had gotten all dark and quiet. “I’ll go get the blanket from m-“

“I got it.” The blonde had already gotten up before Liam could have moved just one muscle, tiptoeing to where they had put their backpacks. Liam tried to get more comfortable in the meantime but it was hard, every time he felt just the tiniest bit of pain in his arm, his heart would start beating faster upon fearing that he would soon start to feel weaker or sick. And what if he did, should he have told Niall right away or tried to hide it? 

Niall came back a minute later with both their blankets, taking his shoes off before curling up on the couch next to Liam once more. Instead of each using their own blanket, they both used both for more warmth and so they could be closer, something they had started doing a few days ago. “Ni… can I just say something and you don’t get upset?”

“What?” That didn’t sound very promising, but at least Niall didn’t move his head away from where he had put it on Liam’s shoulder and he also didn’t stop playing with the older boy’s fingers.

Liam took a breath before speaking because saying it out loud was actually the hardest thing ever, but he didn’t know if he’d get another chance to speak to Niall like this, when only the two of them were awake and he still felt completely fine. “I’m not saying that it will happen, but if it does… if I really get sick and I turn then… you can’t give up. You need to stay with Zayn and the two of you will have to carry on and get to Toronto, and if there’s nothing there then you keep searching until you find a place and until you get back home. I know I kept saying that we would make it, I know I promised that me and you would stay alive and that we would be just fine, and I’m sorry I broke that promise. But, Niall, even if I’m not there anymore doesn’t mean that you can’t make it, I know you can.”

At least the blonde hadn’t interrupted Liam, so that was a beginning, but he also didn’t answer right away and when the brunette heard a quiet sniff, he once more had a really hard time holding back his own tears. “I… I don’t know how I’d just… carry on as if nothing happened. I don’t know if I can, Li, I just... I’m not sure anymore there actually is a safe place anymore, or that my family is alive or anybody I know, it was so much easier to believe before you were… bitten. And now, it’s like… it’s suddenly become so real. I know I can’t compare it to what you had to do, but I simply cannot imagine how you carried on after what happened to your family, I just… you and Zayn are the only people that I know who are still alive. I honestly thought me and you would make it… a-and now… now I d-don’t even k-know what to t-think anymore… I c-can’t watch h-him s-shoot you, Li, I c-can’t. If you r-really… I c-couldn’t k-kill you or w-watch anyone d-do it. There m-might be a c-cure, s-somewhere. I’d … t-take you to T-Toronto e-even if… if y-you t-turned and m-maybe… they c-can h-help.”

“Niall…” Shit, Liam had known this wouldn’t be easy, but it was so bloody hard to find arguments as to why Niall should have left him behind and just let Zayn shoot him when he knew exactly he wouldn’t have been able to the other way around. Back when he had been forced to kill his mother and sister, it had been self-defense, Liam had barely had any clue about the virus and he also hadn’t known that there are people who were immune to it. Which, of course, made the fact that he had killed them even worse. “I don’t know what people who turned think, if they are even capable of it and if they still have feelings, but… it’d be so dangerous to take an infected with you, even if you tied me up and… I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you.” 

“I d-don’t care… you c-can’t t-talk me o-out o-of it… “ True, because Liam wouldn’t know what Niall was doing after he had turned and so he simply shut up, holding the younger boy closer and pressing his face into his hair when he felt the first tears spilling over. “But… m-maybe you’re f-fine… you s-still feel f-fine, r-right?”

“Yeah… “ Liam tried hard so his voice wouldn’t crack, he didn’t want the blonde to know he was crying, it would have only upset him even more. “No matter what happens… I think we were meant to meet in all this, for whatever reason. And I know you will be fine.”

“Not without y-you.” Niall sobbed quietly into the older’s shoulder and Liam had run out of things to say. Talking about it and about what would happen in either case wasn’t exactly going to help them in any way.

There were about a hundred things Liam wanted to say to Niall, but at the same time he just wanted to hold him close for as long as he still could. Also, it seemed that whenever he said anything at all, it only made the younger boy sadder and Liam along with him. So really, despite the fact that this may have been the last night they had left, they didn’t actually spend it talking to each other nonstop. It was strange really, Liam remembered when his grandmother had died a few years ago, how they had gone to visit her one last time, but he still couldn’t really get it into his head that this might be it. Especially because he felt completely fine. 

Liam didn’t actually know how much time passed by or whether he had fallen asleep sometime in between and then woken up again, but Niall barely moved next to him, they stayed cuddled into each other and at some point, it was suddenly getting lighter outside once more. Zayn was still deep asleep on the floor in front of them, probably happy about having gotten a full night of sleep.

“Liam?” Niall was still whispering, they had of course spoken to each other during the night, but not about Liam’s bite and not during the last hour or so, which had almost made it impossible for Liam to stay awake. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” It was still true, though Liam kept waiting for things to change, for his body to start aching or for him to feel too hot and get a fever, but none of that sort had happened so far. “Do you wanna sleep a bit?”

“No, I’m not tired. Do you feel sick?” The blonde lifted his head from Liam’s shoulder after hours, holding his palms pressed against various places of Liam’s face to check his temperature. Fever was always the first symptom, and then inability to keep in any food or water and then of course, coughing up blood. “Your skin is cold.”

“I know, you can keep your hands there a bit longer if you want.” Liam tried to joke, but at the same time he caught Niall’s hand in the movement, keeping it against his cheek. “I’m not sick, Niall.”

“Yet…” The younger boy half whispered and before Liam could have said anything else, Niall had leaned over to press his lips against the brunette’s and of course Liam didn’t pull back though he was a little bit surprised by how eager the blonde seemed to be. 

They hadn’t kissed in what felt like ages so it only took a few moments for Niall to lick into the older’s mouth. Zayn was of course right there sleeping, but that was maybe a bit too easy for Liam to ignore as he returned the younger’s kiss, pulling him over without thinking until the blonde was straddling his lap. The one time they had gone further was still very present in Liam’s mind of course and he knew that doing anything like it again now would have been highly inappropriate, but at the same time… who the hell cared?

Niall shivered a bit underneath Liam’s fingers when the older boy put his hands under his shirt, feeling his skin and pulling the blonde even closer while they were making out, their crotches pressed together in a way that made it hard for Liam to hold back, literally. The younger boy had one arm around Liam’s neck, pulling on his hair while still cupping his cheek with his free hand, making those quiet sounds in the back of his throat that caused heat to coil in Liam’s stomach. 

Liam actually never thought about pulling away to remind the blonde that they weren’t alone, because if Zayn had woken up and seen them getting it on on the couch right next to him, he would have simply yelled at them anyways.

“Li… can you… “ Niall was breathing heavily against the older’s lips while pushing his hips against Liam’s, clearly showing him what he wanted and fuck, how could Liam have said no to this? Especially considering the whole situation they were in. 

There was just something about the fact that everything they were doing, it might have been for the very last time and so when Liam made sure to kiss Niall again though his lunges were screaming for more air, he tried to put it all into the kiss, everything that he somehow couldn’t put into words because it would have only made them both cry again. 

He could feel Niall growing harder against him and them both coming into their pants seemed almost inevitable at this point, but Liam still managed to get a hand in between them, kinda fumbling so long with Niall’s button though that the blonde let go of him for a moment to do it himself, not breaking the kiss for the tiniest second.

Obviously they had done this before just a few days ago, but it wasn’t any less intense, maybe even more so now that Liam had been bitten and that they were both so desperate to be close to the other, never wanting this to end. Liam wrapped a hand around both of their erections once they had gotten over the pants problem and at this point, Niall was kinda being a bit too loud, but his sighs and moans were turning Liam on way too much to tell him to quiet down. 

“Fuck… ‘m so close… “ The blonde was whining against the older’s lips since they weren’t really kissing anymore now that Liam had started to jerk them both off at the same time, having to hold his breath so he could try and hold back because he didn’t wanna come before the younger boy again. 

“S-Shit… you feel so good… _fuck_ … “ Liam tried his hardest to be quiet, but it was so bloody hard because he was so damn close and Niall was moaning against his mouth when he attempted to kiss him again, but they were more like panting against one another rather than actually kissing.

Their precum made the slide of Liam’s hand really easy and he forced himself to slow down a bit with the movements, but it was still enough to push the younger boy over the edge anyways. “Fuck, fuck, fuck… _Liam_ …”

Maybe it was the way his name sounded out of Niall’s mouth while he was reaching his high or the fact that Liam had been about to bust anyways, but he came quickly after the blonde, working them both through it while literally biting his lip bleeding in a poor attempt to stay quiet. His heart was beating like crazy and his ears felt a bit stuffed after coming down from his orgasm, but there was no time to catch some air because Niall’s tongue was already back in Liam’s mouth.

They had of course now both ruined their clothes a bit, but Liam wasn’t even thinking about that while they were snogging again, clinging onto each other for their dear lives and had it not been for Niall pulling away and pressing his forehead against Liam’s to say something, the brunette was sure they would have been at round two just a moment later. 

“Li… “ Niall started and the brunette didn’t actually think he was going to say anything else because the blonde took quite a break in between, running his fingers through Liam’s hair and making him shiver. “I just… I wanted to tell you that… umm... not just because of… of what happened, but I…I really mean it, I... I lo-“

And he never got to finish that sentence.

Literally in the least expected moment ever, somebody seemed to have kicked the door in or something, making Niall almost fall off of Liam’s lap, the older boy panicking because his weapons weren’t anywhere in reach and Zayn jumping up out of his sleep, luckily having slept with his gun in one hand as it seemed. It wasn’t night anymore, but it was a bit too dark to really see anybody’s faces from afar and it all happened so damn quickly that obviously no one really had any time to think about it. The couch they were on was actually facing the door kind of, so Zayn was in front of them and Niall had his back towards it.

“Drop your guns, we got way more.” Zayn almost immediately spit out, half growling while Liam tried to at least get himself and Niall covered with their pants again, about to move Niall off of his lap so he could get to his gun. But he never actually got the chance to.

“We didn’t think anybody was in here, we just… wait… Zayn?” For a moment, Liam thought he’d empty his stomach right on Niall’s shirt, thinking it was Zayn’s other group, but then he realized it were only two people and also, they didn’t seem too unfamiliar anymore when his eyes got used to the weird lightening. 

It were Harry and Louis.

“Holy shit, you guys… I… I can’t believe you’re still alive.” It was Zayn who spoke up first, Liam had no idea what to say because of how unexpected this had been and Niall’s mouth had just dropped open, the blonde only having half moved off of Liam’s lap so he could look at the others, but they still had their arms around one another. “What happened?”

“We got lost and then there were infected and… we came back to the house when it was already almost dark and we saw you guy’s messages and… wait, why did you all leave the house without us?” Okay, well, Harry was right to be upset about that after the first moment of surprise had passed and when he looked past Zayn and instead looked at Liam and then Niall, it seemed he had a lot more to ask than just this. “Did we just interrupt you guys fucking on the couch?”

“We-“

“Wait, what?!” Zayn had spun around within the split of a second and Liam could feel his face getting hot, the inappropriateness of this situation a little bit too much for his liking. “What the hell?! I was sleeping right _there_ , two meters away from you!”

“We… we weren’t, uh… anyways, it’s none of your business.” Especially not considering that Liam had a bite on his arm that would possibly turn him into a monster though for just a second, Liam actually wasn’t thinking about that at all. “I found Niall and then when we came to the house we saw Zayn’s message and we thought he meant all three of you had left, so… so we kept going as well and eventually we bumped into Zayn.”

“And started fucking, apparently.” God, Liam had almost forgotten what it was like having the others joking about him and Niall being together. Only now, they were speaking the truth. “So why did you leave, Z?”

“There was another group that came to the house, some guys, they took all the supplies Liam brought us and… they wanted me to come with them, I couldn’t say no to them and if I had told them I’m with other people they would have insisted we wait on you and… they wouldn’t have left you alive. They made me prove that I am worth joining them by almost letting me get killed by some infected.” The way Zayn said it now kinda made it sound a little bit weird, especially considering that they hadn’t seen Harry and Louis in almost still two weeks and they were still alive. Actually, they were better off than Liam right now. “How did you manage to stay alive?”

“We just did, I guess, we just kept following the map, uh… we probably lost our way a bit, but… seems like you guys did as well. Fuck, I can’t believe we all found each other again, like, what are the odds, right?” Harry sounded really happy and Louis looked like he felt the same and for just a moment, all of them, even Liam, just smiled stupidly at one another, feeling relieved. With one exception.

“Liam was bit yesterday.” Niall just threw it into the room after a moment of silence, he had fully sat down next to Liam now, but he was still holding his clean hand, his face completely expressionless. It really hurt Liam to see him this way, how he couldn’t even enjoy Harry and Louis coming back because had nothing happened to Liam yesterday, he surely would have jumped up to hug them. 

“ _What?!_ How? Why?!” Clearly, the others were more than shocked, the mood having changed at an instant and though there barely was any space left on the couch, Harry and Louis immediately came over and Zayn put his gun away, moving to close the door again. “Show me.”

“We, uh, got distracted while searching a few houses.” Liam hadn’t covered the bite with anything because it hadn’t been deep and also, he had kinda wanted to keep an eye on it. “It was only superficial, I didn’t even notice it happening.”

“But… you’re still alright? I mean, you don’t feel sick or anything?” Harry and Louis shared a look when the latter asked and Liam just shook his head. “That’s good, I mean… Niall is immune, you could be as well.” 

“I cut my arm, I’ve got something in my blood that makes me immune, maybe… maybe it helps Liam.” Niall told the others as if he was waiting for them to agree and tell him how much of a good idea that had been, desperate for them to be hopeful as well. It was absolutely killing Liam, them talking about this now with the blonde so clearly showing just how scared he was, holding Liam’s other hand so tightly that it almost hurt.

“Maybe, I’m not sure if it wasn’t already too late, but-“

“Shut up, Z.” The blonde half snapped at the boy who had now sat down on the floor again because there was no more space on the couch and this whole morning had already been so damn eventful that it felt like they had been awake for hours. Which they kinda had considering that Liam and Niall had been up all night, possibly for the last time ever. 

“BUT, I didn’t know you guys were swapping other bodily fluids as well, so maybe that helped.” For a moment, Liam thought Niall would just get up and physically hurt Zayn, but he remained seated after a moment of silence.

“We didn’t have sex next to you, okay?” They still had cum on their clothes, which luckily no one had seen so far because it wasn’t too light yet and they were still covered with the blanket. “Also, you were asleep anyways, so it’s not like you would have ever found out.”

“Zayn might be right though, I mean, if you had sex and if… you know… like getting a STD.” Oh.

Liam wanted to answer, but somehow he couldn’t think of anything to say and Niall didn’t say anything else either, instead they just looked at one another, probably both thinking about a few days ago, at least Liam was. It sounded slightly odd, the idea of Liam being immune because he had sucked Niall off and swallowed his cum, but if it was true… 

“Not to interrupt anything, but does that mean you’re a bottom, Liam? I’m just slightly surprised is all.” Okay, now they had _definitely_ asked way too many questions.

“Lou, there’s other ways to-“

“Okay, this is enough now. We don’t know what will happen or why I don’t have any symptoms yet, but we’re glad you guys are back and… why are you even walking around so early in the morning?” Liam was trying his hardest now to switch the topic, even if he realized that he had kinda done it in a depressing way. It was just so weird to talk about it like it was all just a joke or as if Liam really was immune because they didn’t even know that. And what if this was his very last day and it would have started with Niall getting his hopes up even more?

“We’re less likely to run into other people when it’s not too light outside, sometimes we walk at night instead of during the day because it’s easier to kill a few infected than it is to deal with real people… why did you guys stop following the route? We tried to get back on it, actually, we just, uh, have a hard time reading the maps.” It almost made Liam smile now to think about how Harry had driven them in the middle of the night, not reading any street signs whatsoever. They might have already reached Toronto if he hadn’t done that. 

“We made a new route because those guys I was with are also going to Toronto and we can’t run into them again.” Zayn explained, giving them the short version because they’d have a lot of time to catch up anyways. At least the others, Liam wasn’t so sure about himself. “We should probably start walking, we’re only wasting time.”

So they made sure to pack up their things and Liam made sure to force Niall to let him switch the bandages on his arm while the blonde simply eyed the bite on the brunette’s arm the whole time. Everybody was probably able to see the stains on their clothes though they weren’t too noticeable, but at least nobody said anything about it once they were outside. It was really weird because as hopeless as Liam felt, at the same time he suddenly felt a lot more hopeful now that Harry and Louis were back.

Because even if something happened to Liam, now he wasn’t terrified anymore about Zayn leaving Niall alone, because even if he did, Harry and Louis surely wouldn’t and now that they seemed to somehow now how to take care of themselves, there was an actual chance that they would make it.

 

\------------------

 

“I told you to go for it, didn’t I?” It seemed as if Harry had been waiting to blurt out with that all day long and he had finally given into the urge, causing Niall’s cheeks to turn red because Liam was right next to him.

“Um, yeah. Do we have to talk about that now?” Niall only whispered the last part, hearing the brunette snorting next to him, holding back his laughter. 

“No, but I’m happy you guys figured it out. I mean, not that everyone didn’t already know anyways, because I pretty much knew that you guys had a crush on each other ever since you slept with your head on Liam’s shoulder in that barn and if it took me and Louis to almost die for about two weeks for you guys to get together then at least it wasn’t all for nothing.” Right.

“Uh, thanks, I guess. Did you really almost die?” They were all sitting in some shed that they had found, eating something because it was getting dark and the only reason Niall had tried to uphold a conversation with somebody all day and now was so that he didn’t have to think about the bite on Liam’s arm. Or the growing hope inside of him because the brunette still wasn’t showing any symptoms. 

“Not really, maybe once or twice. We were scared shitless though when we saw you guy’s messages, we even thought about just staying there because it honestly seemed safer for us. But hey, we’re all still here.” Harry probably didn’t realize what he had just said and Niall really didn’t want him to, so he attempted to return the smile before sharing a look with Liam before closing his eyes as the brunette leaned in to kiss his forehead. Fuck, Niall wanted him to be alright so badly and all the signs were pointing to it, but then again, a superficial cut could have possibly delayed his reaction to it, none of them were experts after all. 

“How far away are we from Toronto? Like, approximately?” It was Louis who had asked and Niall didn’t even attempt to answer because it wouldn’t have been correct anyways. He had asked Liam the same a few days ago, but after everything that had happened, he had simply forgotten about it. 

“Two to three weeks, but we only got half the way done ever since you drove us to Texas and considering all the delays we’ve had so far… we will probably need a lot longer than that.” Probably, but they had known that all along anyways and if Liam was immune to the virus then Niall didn’t even care anymore, he wouldn’t ask for anything else other than for the brunette to stay with him. “And you guys need warmer clothes as soon as possible.”

“Okay, _dad_.” Louis joked and Niall felt a smile tugging on his lips when he saw Liam rolling his eyes. Everything could have been fine now, all of them back together and getting along, Liam genuinely caring for the others as well and just because the blonde didn’t wanna start crying yet again, he tried pretending for a bit that this was how things would be from now on. 

“You can also keep walking around like that if you want, I’m sure that’ll be great when it starts snowing and your shoes get wet.” Liam was just so cute, he’d pretend to get upset and everything, but he actually just really cared about them and the fact that he cared most about Niall got the younger’s heart beating faster just thinking about it while looking at the brunette’s profile. 

A world without Liam would have surely not been one Niall wanted to be in and yes, he wanted to get home and he wanted to see his family again, and even though the blonde had kinda been interrupted this morning when he had tried telling the brunette, it didn’t change how he felt. He had proper fallen in love with Liam though they didn’t know each other for that long, the fact that they spent all day and night together and everything they had been through… Niall didn’t think that his feelings were out of place.

He had almost told Liam this morning, right then and there without planning to, but they hadn’t had a moment for themselves anymore since then. Niall probably wouldn’t have tried it had Liam not been bitten because he would have been way too scared of the reaction and now that yet another day had passed without the brunette getting sick, the blonde was yet again pushing it back. Liam wouldn’t suddenly turn over night, that was impossible, so obviously Niall would still have time to tell him in any case really, he just wasn’t sure if he’d be brave enough again. 

Also, now that Liam had gone so long without symptoms and though the blonde really tried not to, he had grown so hopeful that he thought that maybe he wouldn’t have to tell Liam just yet, maybe everything would be just fine and then they’d all get to safety and… and Niall could still tell him then that he loved him. 

“Nialler?” The blonde had to blink a few times to notice that Liam was talking to him because he had just mindlessly been staring at the older boy thinking about how crazy he was about him and how gorgeous he was. “Everything okay? You zoned out for a second there.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine… you?” It had become Niall’s habit to ask Liam for his well-being and though the brunette had surely gotten annoyed with it, he wasn’t showing it.

“Me too.” Liam smiled a bit before leaning in to kiss the blonde on the lips, his arm so tight around Niall’s shoulders that there was not a centimeter of distance between them. 

“You guys really didn’t waste any time since we last saw you, huh? I- Liam!” Niall had no idea what had just happened because he had still been kissing Liam, but when he pulled away he realized that the brunette must have blindly reached around to punch Louis’ arm. “Great, thanks, I spilled half my bottle.”

“More like one sip, don’t be so dramatic.” The blonde was holding back his laughter, just shrugging his shoulders when Louis glared at him for a second. 

“I feel sorry for Zayn, he was all alone with you guys… for how long actually?” They had of course talked about everything today, but then they had quickly switched to more normal topics, which Niall had very much welcomed because it was a nice distraction. Plus, he still had a billion questions for Liam anyways and thinking about maybe not getting to know the answers to them was pretty damn scary. 

“Only for a day.” Zayn was the one who answered, clearly sharing a look with Liam and maybe they silently agreed that they wouldn’t talk about their disagreement anymore because neither of them said a word and Niall felt relieved. He was just so glad that they were all back together, now Liam just had to stay symptom free and then everything would be fine. “But seeing as they had sex next to me this morning… “

“Oh my god, we did _not_ have sex.” Liam let his head drop against the wall behind him over dramatically, making the blonde smirk as he turned his head to kiss the older’s shoulder over his jacket. “Kinda weird that you guys are so obsessed with me and Niall anyways, just saying.”

“What else is there to distract ourselves with? You guys have made out in front of us 10 times today, so clearly you don’t care about being obvious.” True. “Plus, we’re just happy for you guys, seriously, I think it’s really cute.” 

The brunette was undoubtedly rolling his eyes now, Niall didn’t have to look at him to know, instead leaving his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and trying not to let his eyes fall closed too often. “Definitely cuter than you and Harry, that’s for sure.”

“Oh yeah? You’ve been together for like three seconds compared to us.” Well, Louis wasn’t wrong even though every day out here felt like a week.

They went back and forth like this for a while, just harmless bickering and if Niall was being honest, he quite enjoyed just listening, just hearing his friends talk and laughing once a while, it was something he hadn’t heard in ages. Eventually, his eyes did fall close though he tried to keep them open, but Liam was just so warm and the way he was evenly stroking the blonde’s arm was making the younger boy even sleepier than he had been before.

Of course Niall didn’t want to waste any time with Liam, but it was out of his control, he had been up all night and then they had been walking all day and he did eventually pass out without wanting to while the others were still talking, for a moment almost managing to forget about the bite on Liam’s arm. Almost.

Niall didn’t know whether he was dreaming or how much time had passed by, but he was sure he heard Liam talking to someone in the middle of the night, probably hours after the blonde had fallen asleep because he was somehow lying down now and he had blanket over him. 

“Promise me you’ll take care of Niall if anything happens to me? And that you’ll make sure you guys won’t get split up anymore? I just can’t stand the thought of getting sick all of a sudden and… if I imagine it the other way around, I’d go crazy. When Niall was missing two weeks ago, I thought I’d lose it.”

“I know, Liam, but I promise we’ll take care of him in case anything happens, now or anytime in the future. It is slightly weird that you don’t even feel slightly ill, all the people I’ve seen who have gotten bit already had really high fever at this point.” It was undoubtedly Zayn who Liam was talking to, which Niall really hadn’t expected because of them fighting, but then again, maybe it was all just a dream. “It seems like you could be immune. I hope you are.”

“Me too… “ There was a bit of silence in which Niall almost drifted off once more, now more certain that this conversation had indeed taken place and that Liam had moved him in his sleep so that his head was now in the older’s lap, Liam’s fingers softly playing with his hair. “I’m sorry for doubting you all the time and calling you a liar. I’m just terrified a decision I make is gonna put Niall in danger and when you told us the story about that other group… I didn’t wanna take any risks.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Ever since I met you guys I’ve known what you really care about and why you are doing all this, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t really like you in the beginning, but you’ve all been growing on me somehow. Especially after those two weeks. I don’t know what to think about the Toronto story still, but I still wanna go there, with you guys, and in case anything happens to you, I promise I’ll get the others there anyways.” Had Niall not been so tired and on the edge to sleep, he might have actually moved a bit or somehow shown Liam that he was awake, but it just seemed like too much work. 

“Thank you, seriously. I’m glad we took you with us, both times… even if it wasn’t my decision either of those times.” Liam let out a soft chuckle at the end which Niall still felt though because he was so close to the brunette and when he moved just the tiniest bit, Liam had already moved his hand to cover one of the blonde’s ears, probably afraid to wake him. 

“I would have probably acted the same in your position. But seeing as I didn’t lie about that group or Harry and Louis, you can trust me enough to just go to sleep because you probably didn’t sleep last night either, am I right?” Not completely actually, Niall had been up all night worrying and trying not to cry and attempting to capture the way it felt to be in Liam’s arms just in case he’d never feel it again, but the brunette had definitely fallen asleep a few times. Which was completely fine of course, he had let Niall sleep all night the night before so he had needed it. 

“I probably fell asleep a few times, but I could definitely need some sleep… just wake me if you get too tired and not the others, I feel like Harry and Louis haven’t been able to sleep without being scared ever since we lost them.” Liam really was the sweetest person on this planet, there was no denying that.

Zayn must have agreed or something because it got quiet once more after that and Niall had fallen asleep again a few minutes later, Liam probably along with him, his hand still resting in Niall’s hair.

 

\-------------------

 

Three days passed by and Liam never did as much as cough. Well, he did cough one time because he swallowed the water he had been drinking too fast and Niall’s eyes had almost fallen out of his head as he had hurried to turn to him to make sure he was alright. Liam wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that he hadn’t gotten sick from the bite, he didn’t want to be relieved too soon, but all signs were pointing to him being immune to the virus for some reason, whether by Niall’s doing or not. 

The other three had already stopped worrying, Liam could tell because they never brought it up anymore whereas Niall continued to ask Liam for his well-being, continued to put his palm against Liam’s forehead randomly during the day, never leaving his side whether it was day or night. Though Niall and Liam had kinda stopped talking about it as well, it was obvious that it was still present in their minds and especially whenever they came across infected, it was usually Niall who insisted on killing them or letting one of the others do it but holding the brunette back. 

Also, it started snowing in those few days and though Harry and Louis found some warmer clothes and shoes, all of them were still freezing and especially at night whenever they weren’t walking anymore. It worried Liam that it was getting colder so much more quickly and that the few times when Niall wasn’t wearing gloves, his fingers felt like ice blocks against Liam’s. 

“… and what if we draw the curtains and everything? No one will even see the fire.” Harry was literally seconds from lightening the fireplace in the house that they were spending the night in and Liam was running out of arguments as to why he couldn’t. “We’ll put it out later once it’s gotten a bit warmer, we’ll freeze to death otherwise.”

“Fine, light it then, but make sure you draw the curtains before you do it.” The only reason why Liam had given in was because he had thrown a look at Niall, who was sitting next to him with his legs across the older’s lap, lips having turned slightly blue. “Are you cold, baby?”

“A bit.” Niall shrugged, probably trying to make it look like no big deal so Liam reached out for both of his hands. “What’re you doing?”

“Trying to warm you up.” Liam made sure to keep both of Niall’s ice cold hands between his, rubbing them before bringing them to his lips to kiss the back of his fingers, feeling slightly helpless though because there wasn’t much he could have done. 

Harry and Zayn needed quite some time to get the fire going and by that time Liam had made Niall half sit on his lap so that they could share their blankets, having taken off their jackets so that their body warmth would warm them more quickly. The blonde was still shivering a tiny bit though no matter how tightly Liam held him and rubbed his back and arms. 

Those few days had actually been the first time that they were really all getting along and that everyone was here, that they weren’t close to running out of supplies or not trusting one another. Yeah, there was the thing with Liam’s bite, but the chances of him having such a late reaction were pretty much nonexistent, so actually, things could have been going good for once. 

_Could_ have, but there was just always something not going as planned.

“I’m not hungry, I just wanna sleep.” Liam knew that Niall had been tired all day long, they all were, but the blonde had been walking rather slow today so Liam had let himself fall back with him of course, hoping that it was nothing. But this was a little strange.

“Babe, you haven’t eaten all day, c’mon.” The brunette was worried about Niall, how he was still shivering even though he was all curled into Liam’s side cuddling into him and Liam himself actually didn’t feel cold anymore now that the fire had been on for a bit and they were all eating. 

Niall allowed Liam to feed him like two bites before refusing and burying his face against the older’s shoulder and before Liam could have tried to convince him to eat some more, Niall had already leaned away from him again just to sneeze twice in a row.

Of course that sound made the others stop talking to each other to look over and judging by the looks on their faces, they were equally as alarmed as Liam. One of them catching a cold was pretty high on the list of things that they had been trying to avoid at all cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys :D
> 
> so finally harry and louis are back and liam seems to be immune (for whatever reason ;))! i hope you all enjoyed the chapter and i hope youll all have a great week, let me know what you thought if you want to <3


	9. The Hotel

“Bless you, love.“ Niall barely heard Liam because he was just so tired and exhausted from this day that he couldn’t even be worried about his nose feeling stuffy or his throat hurting.

“Thanks… “ The blonde put his head right back into the crook of Liam’s shoulder, well aware that everybody was looking at him now, but he had just sneezed, it didn’t mean anything, so he closed his eyes, hoping he’d feel better in the morning.

“You okay?” Liam probably thought he was being subtle stroking Niall’s hair before briefly letting his hand rest on the younger’s forehead, feeling his temperature like Niall had done so many times the other way around. Niall was still worried about Liam of course, but it had been 4 days now and the brunette was all healthy, so obviously Niall’s hopes were pretty damn high. “You’re a bit warm.”

“’s the fire and you.” At least that would have made sense, Niall didn’t feel like he had a fever, he was just tired and all around he didn’t feel too great, but that didn’t mean he had a cold. “I’m okay.”

“Alright… just go to sleep then, babe, you’ll feel better tomorrow.” Liam had given in easily, not trying to make the blonde eat more food, for which the blonde was really grateful because swallowing kinda hurt a bit and also, he genuinely wasn’t hungry. 

The others might have had an opinion on that as well, but Niall had pretty much slept in two minutes later, still feeling a little cold but not too much having Liam and the blankets to warm him up and he knew that the brunette wouldn’t move away from him during the night and make sure he stayed tucked in. Niall and Liam basically hadn’t had more than a meter of distance between them ever since Liam had been bitten and the blonde didn’t even think about changing that. 

It wasn’t a good night, Niall didn’t know who was taking watch, whether it was Liam or not, he just remembered waking up a lot and the brunette talking to him, still holding him, and in the end Niall wasn’t even sure anymore if he had even managed to sleep for any longer than an hour at once because in the morning, he didn’t feel any better at all.

“Can you maybe give me my water?” Niall had to clear his throat, which was quite painful and Liam probably noticed him pulling a bit of a face because it was inevitable. They had all just woken up, getting ready to keep on walking, which was actually the very last thing the blonde wanted to do right now.

“Sure, babe.” Liam kissed his forehead before moving to get to their backpacks that they had put in front of the couch, letting in some cold into their cocoon of warmth and Niall felt another shiver going through his body. “Here, you should probably take some of that as well.”

“Thanks… what is that?” The blonde took the bottle of water from his boyfriend before the brunette let a pill drop into his palm. “I’m not sick.”

“It’s just to-“

“You were coughing the whole night keeping us all up and you kept whining about being cold, so I think you do need that.” Louis threw in before Liam had been able to finish his sentence and the brunette threw a look at him that Niall was barely aware of because he suddenly felt really damn stupid. He didn’t even remember saying anything about being cold during the night or coughing. 

“Sorry about keeping you guys up, um… I can take watch tonight.” Niall offered before putting the pill in his mouth and swallowing it with some water, hoping that it would cure the ache in his throat. And the slight ache he felt everywhere else in his body.

“No, you’re not. You’ve got a cold, Ni, if you take it too lightly it’s going to get even worse.” Liam was brushing the blonde’s hair out of his forehead, his hand so warm that Niall wanted to lean into it more, but at the same time he couldn’t do that because it would have only convinced the brunette even more that Niall had a cold. 

“If he’s really got a cold we should probably all keep some distance from him.” What Zayn was saying was of course true, but it did cause Niall to panic just slightly because he really did not want Liam to keep any distance from him. “And find more medicine, because if he gets really sick then we’re gonna have a problem.”

“It’s only a cold, a small one, I only had to cough a few times.” Niall tried to talk himself out of it, though what he said was only partly true and he knew that they were all looking right through him, especially Liam. 

“It’s fine, Ni, I’m sure you’ll feel better in no time. I got some more stuff in my backpack from when we’ve found all that medical stuff a few days ago.” Liam almost made it sound positive and he didn’t move away from the blonde, which was a huge relief. At the same time though, Niall couldn’t help but to be annoyed at himself for getting sick, they were all back together and apparently Liam was immune to the virus for whatever reason and now Niall had to go and catch a cold. Talk about bad timing.

Both Liam and Harry found some other medicine stuff in their bags for Niall to take and though they all tasted like shit, the blonde took them without whining about it like a child. The only relief in all this was that at least his symptoms weren’t at all the ones he would have experienced had he been infected by the virus, because then he would have coughed up blood and he wouldn’t have had to sneeze. 

Though Niall had still been trying to deny feeling bad when he had been taking the medicine, it got slightly harder to pretend once they had all gotten their stuff together and left the house. It was ice cold and though it wasn’t snowing right now, Niall was actually pretty sure it would at some point today because there was still some snow on the ground and the sun was completely gone. He did have on a shirt, a hoodie and a jacket as well as gloves, but it still felt like too little.

“Have you run out of questions?” Liam was squeezing Niall’s hand and the blonde smiled at him though he actually wanted to start crying from being so damn cold. Which was ridiculous, he wasn’t 5 years old and he would survive, it was just a stupid cold and he simply needed to keep his jacket fully closed from now on. 

“Are you guys still keeping that up?” The others had known they were playing this silly game to stay distracted and Niall just nodded at Louis though he wasn’t actually sure what to ask Liam today, his mind kinda working a bit more slowly than usually. “You should ask me something.”

“I literally know the name of every person in your family and where you grew up as a child, I don’t think there’s anything left I could ask you.” It was true, both Harry and Louis weren’t shy at all to share details about their lives, it was why Liam had been so annoyed with them in the first place and it had made Niall laugh quite a bit when he had told him about it. 

“Try it then, ask Liam something and then see if you know it about me.” Not a good idea, especially because of what Niall had actually been planning on asking Liam, so he just shook his head, laughing when Louis rolled his eyes. “You’ve had so much time on your own and I could have died out here alone and yet you still want me to leave you alone? Rude.”

“You didn’t almost die.” Liam threw in, to which Louis only shrugged at first and Niall didn’t even want to imagine how scared Harry and Louis had been for their lives, neither of them having real experience in fighting or protecting themselves and of course being scared to lose each other. 

“Well, if there’s a good thing that has come out of this it’s that at least we now know how to survive, somehow at least. How’s your bite, actually? I completely forgot about it.” Niall felt his body stiffening up a bit at that question, throwing a look at Liam who seemed rather relaxed about it though.

“It’s healing, just like Niall’s was when we first found him.” At this, Liam squeezed the younger’s hand again and Niall tried not to start worrying. There was no point, it had been 4 days, Liam would have had to at least have _any symptom_ by now.

“So do you think it really was Niall’s blood? Or… you know.” Louis elbowed Liam at that, smirking like an idiot. The thing was though, it was actually more likely that it had been Niall’s… well, that it had been Niall’s cum that had made Liam immune rather than his blood. Then again, neither of those two seemed all that possible.

“I don’t know what it was, I might have been immune all along.” Liam shrugged, apparently not that interested in finding out and if Niall was being completely honest, neither was he. He only wanted Liam to stay with him and nothing else, he’d never let the brunette get bitten again anyways.

“Maybe we should all exchange … _blood_ with Niall then, just to be sure.” The way Louis was grinning made it pretty clear that he didn’t actually wanna do that and also, that he was implying something totally different.

“I’m not having sex with you, Lou.” Niall just said it straight out, maybe slightly too loud because it caused Harry and Zayn to stop and look at them as well. 

“Do I wanna know what this is about?” Harry pulled up an eyebrow, looking from Niall to Louis and the blonde simply rolled his eyes, kinda done with that conversation because he did actually have things to ask Liam, but not in the presence of the others. 

“I was just suggesting it’d be beneficial for all of us to somehow come in contact with Niall’s immunity, just to try it out in case we get bitten anytime soon.” Well, if they really would have wanted to, Niall wouldn’t have cared cutting his arm again though he wasn’t sure if Liam would have even allowed him to do that.

“I doubt that Niall made Liam immune within a few seconds, and even if you did it now and get bitten in a few days then I still highly doubt it’d help you. It’s more likely Liam was immune all along or that the bite was simply too superficial. I mean, most people I’ve seen getting bit had junks of their flesh missing, so… “ Zayn was once again being the only reasonable one here, for which Niall was for once grateful because explaining it this way, there was 0 chance Liam just had a late reaction. 

“You just always gotta spoil everyone’s fun, don’t you, Z? I was just joking anyways, I’d be way too scared Niall would infect me rather than making me immune, I mean, who knows what’s wrong with you guy’s bodies.” Louis shrugged again before suddenly asking Harry to get him something from his backpack and Niall used the chance to walk a bit more slowly, Liam automatically slowing down with him like he always did.

“Do you want me to carry you for a bit?” When Liam suggested that, Niall first of all didn’t even realize what he meant because he had actually been about to say something completely different.

“I just… wait, what?” Would he have really done that? Just because Niall had a cold?

“I can give you a piggyback ride for a while if you’re exhausted, one of the others can carry my stuff in the meantime, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” Liam shrugged, as if he really thought the others would be happy carrying his stuff so he could carry Niall and the blonde was for really tempted to say yes for a moment. But he didn’t of course because it’s not like he was incapable of walking and also, Liam needed his energy. 

“Thanks, Li, but… I’m good. I’m gonna save that offer for when I’m dying from sleep deprivation.” The blonde joked, but actually that wasn’t too unlikely to happen. “I just thought we could walk behind the others for a bit is all.”

“Oh.” Was all Liam said, probably realizing that the blonde wasn’t actually too exhausted to walk faster but that he had only been wanting to be alone with him. The smile that spread on the brunette’s face right before he leaned over to kiss Niall’s cheek had been way worth doing it already. “We can certainly do that. Does that mean you do have more questions that aren’t suitable for the others?” 

“Kinda, um… but they’re not like… inappropriate questions or anything.” At this, Niall felt his cheeks becoming a little hot as he recalled the times he had actually been brave enough to ask such things and of course it made Liam laugh remembering it as well.

“Not as inappropriate as when you asked me whether I’ve got any kinks in bed?” Right. 

“I was just wondering and I was trying to be funny, I didn’t think you’d even answer that.” Which Liam had done, in way more detail than Niall had expected but it had only been when the brunette had tried to make him believe that he was really into watersports that the blonde had realized that Liam was only making fun of him. So actually, he didn’t even know whether Liam did have any kinks or not. “Anyways, I just wanted to like… I wanted to ask whether you, you know, in case we do ever get back home and stuff, like, _potentially_ … I was just wondering if, like, not in connection to me or anything just-“

“Babe, you can just say it, you know.” Liam softly interrupted Niall’s rambling and the blonde’s inability to just get to the freaking point, which kinda was a relief but not really. 

“Do you… did you ever want kids?” Niall decided to put it in the past tense in the last moment because he had no idea how the brunette would react. He had a lot of these kinda questions for Liam, questions they would have usually talked about had they met in a normal situation and started dating, but then again… maybe they wouldn’t have started dating in that scenario, maybe it would have just ended like a lot of other crushes Niall had had where he simply never managed to talk to the other person. 

Liam took some time to answer and the blonde was getting more nervous with every second passing, thinking of ways to talk himself out of it. “Yes, definitely. I always wanted kids, um… I mean, I was, or am, a teacher so obviously I like kids, but… I don’t know if… like, if we did get back home and everything would be like it was, I don’t know if I’d still want kids.”

“Why?” Actually, Niall knew the answer already so he felt a bit stupid for asking, but he also didn’t just wanna drop the topic again.

“Even if things at home were still normal… it could happen there as well, it could happen anywhere. I always knew what kinda times we’re living in but... I’m not sure if I could live with myself knowing I had kids that could possibly end up in this situation. And even if I adopted kids or something, I would still be worried about them and I’d want them to live happy lives and not… through an apocalypse. Also… those kids that had turned, remember? The ones that I… you know… they could have been my kids, they were _somebody’s_ kids and they were innocent and they could have potentially been cured had they been bitten like, I don’t know, in two months or something, but I had to… I had to kill them. And then my parents and my sister… kinda makes me afraid to care about someone. ‘s why I’m so terrified about something happening to you.” When Liam finished, he was smiling rather sadly at the blonde and Niall tried not to let those tears spill over right now. “Do you? Want kids, I mean? If we get back home and everything’s the way it was?”

For just a second, Niall wanted to say yes, but then Liam’s words were too present in his mind and he wanted to say no and then in the end, he ended up saying neither. “I want you.”

Obviously that caught Liam off guard, he opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again and Niall looked away in embarrassment because he suddenly wasn’t sure anymore whether things between them would change in case they got back home. “You already got me.”

“I know, I just… I mean that, you know, if we get rescued and stuff and… I know we don’t even live close to each other and we probably would have never met without all this happening, but, um… I wouldn’t, like, not wanna be with you anymore even if you never wanted kids.” Okay, this conversation had gotten slightly deep without the blonde planning on it, but then again, those kinda conversations were probably necessary to have. Even if they reminded Niall of the bite on Liam’s arm but seeing as it had been so long now… he felt like it was alright to talk as if the brunette was immune because there was a 99% chance that he actually was.

“You shouldn’t give up something you want for somebody else though.” Liam said it without hesitation, as if this wasn’t even about their own relationship or anything. 

“I know, but I don’t even know if I want kids or not, I mean… not like we’ll get home anytime soon. Or ever.” Now Niall was trying not to think too much about what Liam had said because it suddenly made him worry about their future, provided they even had one. 

“Maybe we will and then we can talk about all these things again, and if we don’t… you still got me.” Liam smiled a bit at the last part though it actually wasn’t a happy thing to talk about but Niall still tried to return it. “I mean, it’s hard to talk about all the _what if’s_ , we might have a completely different outlook now if we were already back at home and a few months had passed.”

“But… you’d still wanna be with me even if we got back home? I mean… we don’t really live close to each other and-“

“Ni, of course I’d still wanna be with you, what kinda question is that? Did you think I’d just say goodbye to you and never look back?” Well, sometimes Niall had thought that when he had thought about it in too much depth and about how desperately in love he was with Liam, but the older boy seemed completely baffled by that question.

“No, I just… I was just thinking about it and… and I got a bit into it and then I suddenly wasn’t sure anymore and anyways… I really wanna be with you, now and… and even if we get back home and stuff, I mean, I never really wanted to stay at home anyways once I’m done with uni. And I am, I mean, I WAS almost done, so… “ So basically, Niall was speaking the truth about having planned to leave Ireland, but he was making it sound as if he had just made all of that up because he was kinda nervous. “So yeah, um… good talk.”

“You’re so damn cute, you know that?” Liam was just laughing softly, squeezing Niall’s hand more tightly and the blonde simply couldn’t bring himself to look up because he was way too blushed right now. “We’ll make it work, no matter what happens, we made everything work so far. And for the record so you don’t have to worry about it anymore, I really wanna be with you, now and in the future, whether we get back home or not. Okay?”

“Okay… I like how you’ve become so positive compared to when I first met you and you said we’d all surely die soon.” Niall was only bringing that up to switch the topic and distract from his own embarrassment and Liam probably knew exactly what he was doing because he just laughed again anyways. 

“No one’s gonna die.” The way he said it was as if they hadn’t all feared for his life a few days ago but the thing was, Niall really believed that he meant it and he trusted Liam, now more than ever because it was true, they had been through all this and they were all still here, alive and well.

Except, maybe not _that_ well in Niall’s case.

 

\----------------------

 

Niall didn’t feel that great at night, Liam could just tell by the way the blonde kept cuddling into him and trying to put up a brave face. Deep down, Liam was scared, he didn’t know if it was just a cold or if it’d develop into something worse than that, so he kept giving Niall the little medicine that they had, making sure to search the houses as thoroughly as possible for more whenever they came across any.

The only relief was that at least they could treat a cold or a normal illness, whereas Liam’s bite could have ended quite terribly. Then again, it really pained the brunette to see Niall like this, watching him cough and sneeze and shivering against him at night and despite the fact that he kept telling the brunette that the pills he kept giving him would surely help soon, nothing really seemed to help and it only seemed to get worse over the course of the next 3 days. 

“I think we should maybe take a break or something, just for a day or so.” Liam brought up the idea when Niall had already fallen asleep as he usually did now with everybody else still awake. The blonde was all curled up into Liam’s side, face pushed against the side of his neck and the even puffs of his breath giving Liam goosebumps. They had started taking turns between night watch between only the 4 of them and just letting the blonde sleep, for which Liam had been more than just grateful, the fact that nobody had ever even brought it up.

“We can do that, I’m fine with that. I think Niall’s body really needs to recover for a bit.” Harry immediately agreed to Liam’s plan and the other two didn’t seem against it either so that was good. Liam had been slightly afraid of their answers because they weren’t too far away from Toronto anymore, only about two weeks. It was getting dark more quickly though and it was also colder, so they had been walking a bit more slowly, so it was hard knowing when they’d actually arrive.

“But we should probably try to find a better place to stay tomorrow, this right here isn’t really ideal, we can’t even make a fire.” Zayn was right, they had once again only found a shed because there weren’t that many towns, but Liam really regretted that choice now that Niall was once again shivering in his sleep. He had a fever, his forehead literally burning up underneath the older’s palm whenever he checked and he really wasn’t sure what to do other than to keep hoping he’d feel better soon. “I’m not sure if one day is enough though. For Niall to get better, I mean.”

“It probably isn’t… “ Liam of course knew that, but what were they supposed to do? They had gotten so far and they were so close and of course they could have simply taken a week off, but they would have had to keep searching for supplies and somehow keep themselves warm and alive. Though the others seemed okay not walking for a day or so, Liam couldn’t expect them to just sit around and do nothing and he needed them now more than ever, because he needed to take care of Niall and if they had been alone now, he would have had to drag the blonde along or leave him somewhere all by himself while looking for supplies. 

“I’m actually surprised no one else has gotten sick yet, you especially, Liam, because you’re constantly touching him. It’s about time we get to Toronto.” Hearing that out of Zayn’s mouth was really weird, Liam actually shared a look with Harry and Louis, who seemed equally confused.

“Do you suddenly think that there’s actually something there?” Harry sounded hopeful when he asked, as if he wanted Zayn to say yes just so he could believe in it himself, something which Niall had also done multiple times. Liam knew that it was because they all wanted to believe in it so badly because they wanted to go home, but at the same time they knew it wasn’t very likely. Which was also why Liam was both curious but also terrified about getting to Toronto. 

“No. I mean, there might be, who knows, but if we get there and there’s literally nothing there then we can finally stop pointlessly walking around and just wait.” Right, that hadn’t been very motivational at all.

“But you said that that other group that forced you to go with them was also going to Toronto, so it’s not like we’re the only ones who have heard about it.” Harry’s very last straw, but the other boy was quick to destroy that idea as well.

“Doesn’t mean anything, you guys have heard it from Niall and Niall’s heard it from some other people, doesn’t mean it’s true just because a few people believe in it. But I guess we’ll see, I really hope you guys are right though, I really do, I’m just thinking about what to do in case you’re not.” Liam really got it, he was constantly thinking about that as well, and ways to console Niall and to deal with their very last chance of getting back home or finding out whether their families and friends were still alive being taken away. “Also, I’m kinda worried what it’d mean for us if they really do still evacuate people there. I mean, Niall and Liam both got bitten, they could technically spread the virus. All of us could, actually, because we’ve been exposed for so long.”

“But then that includes literally everyone by now and even if they just kept us there somewhere and not let us go home for a while, it’d still be a hundred times better than being out here. And they could tell us whether it’s happened anywhere else.” And maybe, just maybe, they still had phones or some other way to communicate and then Niall could at least talk to his family, that was really all Liam wanted for the boy. 

“Yeah, but all that kinda sounds like a fairytale, doesn’t it?” True, it totally did, even if Harry rolled his eyes and Louis just shrugged, Liam knew that Zayn was right because he had a hard time believing as well. “Anyways, who takes watch first?”

“I will, I wanna keep an eye on Niall.” Liam immediately spoke up, also because it would have been his turn anyways. 

“Okay, but really wake me this time and don’t stay up all night again or you’ll get sick too.” Though it kinda sounded like a joke, Zayn threw a pretty firm glance at the brunette that just made Liam nod in agreement, even though he wasn’t quite sure whether he’d actually do it.

The others didn’t go to sleep immediately, but they did all lie down and kept talking for a bit and eventually, the whispers between Harry and Louis stopped and it was dead quiet except for the wind outside and one of the boys moving in their sleep or Niall breathing against Liam’s skin. Liam actually did look at the watch this time, but only briefly because he had to use a flashlight and he didn’t want to risk waking the others.

It was 7 pm, which was crazy to think about but it just got dark so quickly now and they were all just pretty much on their absolute low. Actually, it would have probably been smart to just take a break and find somewhere to stay for a few days, but there was always the thought in the back of Liam’s head that what IF they had a chance of getting back home and they were just wasting their time waiting, doing nothing at all and possibly missing out on their only chance?

Still, they needed that one day off because he wasn’t sure how much more Niall could take, the blonde looked absolutely terrible, he was pale and he was burning up and whenever they did as much as stop for a second to look at the map, he hugged Liam for some warmth, leaning his whole body into the brunette as if he couldn’t manage to stand up any longer. He probably couldn’t, to be honest, Liam had given him multiple piggyback rides today and he was pretty sure the blonde had actually fallen asleep for a bit only to immediately go back to sleep as soon as they had sat down here and after Liam had forced him to eat. 

If they had let him, Niall would have probably slept all day and maybe they should have done that, but they needed to get to a better place before that, a warmer one. Liam felt quite helpless sitting there and stroking Niall’s hair, checking every five minutes to make sure the blonde was completely covered in two blankets, his shaking luckily having stopped. 

There was absolutely nothing the brunette could have done and that was the very worst part, he could only wait and hope and try his best to take care of the blonde with the limited resources they had. This was how Niall must have felt when Liam had been bitten and it only made the brunette feel more terrible if he was being honest. 

A few hours must have passed before Liam was startled slightly by Niall moving for the first time, only a little bit, but it was actually him whispering that surprised the brunette. “Li? Are you awake?”

“I’m here, babe, go back to sleep.” Liam automatically held on tighter to the boy, pressing his face into his hair to kiss the top of his head but keeping it there for a bit afterwards. 

“I can’t… I’ve been awake for a while trying to go back to sleep but I feel so bad… “ The way Niall was only whispering, sounding half asleep and his voice cracking a little bit was honestly breaking Liam’s heart. So far the blonde had kept pretending it wasn’t all too bad, he had never just once admitted to Liam that he actually felt bad.

“I know, love, I’m sorry… is there anything I can do?” Probably not, they were almost out of medicine as well and who knew what would happen then, Liam was absolutely terrified about finding out.

“No… just don’t let me go.” Niall mumbled into the older’s neck, his fingers twisted so tightly into Liam’s clothing that the brunette could actually feel it. 

“I won’t, Nialler, I’d never. You know what, tomorrow we’ll find a better place to stay and then we’re gonna take a break from walking, okay? And you can just sleep for however long you want and I’ll cuddle with you the whole time, promise.” Liam was trying to make it sound appealing when really by now it was a necessity for them to take a break, pretty much Liam’s last resort in an attempt to make Niall feel better. 

“But I wanna go to Toronto… “ It was hard knowing whether Niall would remember this conversation tomorrow because he sounded quite whiny and as if he was half asleep, but of course it was still pulling on Liam’s heart strings, especially the last part and the way his voice broke. “I wanna go home… “

“I know you do, baby, and we will get to Toronto, I promise. If we take a break we’ll be much quicker afterwards, it’ll be like we never even took a break at all.” That was a lie, but what was Liam supposed to say? “And then you’ll feel so much better, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine, Ni, I’m here and I’m gonna take care of you.”

“I know… I just… everything hurts.” Niall admitting it so openly meant he really felt like absolute shit or otherwise he would have overplayed it and Liam would have been lying had he said that it wasn’t causing him to panic. 

“Do you maybe wanna lie down? I’ll lie down with you and I promise I won’t let you go.” They were both sitting up though Niall was kinda leaning into Liam so he wasn’t sitting up straight, but it probably wasn’t the most comfortable position to sleep in either. Not that the ground was a much better option.

“No… I’ll just be cold if I move… I just wanna sleep so it can be tomorrow quicker and maybe… maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow morning.” He wouldn’t, if anything, he’d feel worse in the morning and this knowledge was absolutely killing Liam inside. 

“I’m sure you will, love. Are you sure you can’t go back to sleep?” Liam had now resorted to slowly rocking them both, just anything at all to maybe help the blonde to get more sleepy again because he really needed the rest.

“Can you… can you just keep talking? About anything, I just wanna hear your voice.” That request caused Liam’s stomach to grow a bit warmer despite the situation they were in and he made sure to press his lips to Niall’s hot forehead, as far as he could reach it, searching for one of the younger’s hands underneath all their blankets to intertwine their fingers.

“Of course, babe, anything you want.” So that’s what Liam did, at first not really knowing what to talk about so he simply talked about the moment he had first realized just how much he really liked Niall, when they had been in the barn and just the thought of Niall fighting out there had caused him to panic. Liam wasn’t quite sure what got into him, but he then just continued to talk about all the things they could be doing when they got back home, though of course there was no guarantee that they would.

It was just nice to imagine all these things, pretend for just a little bit that they could actually become reality one day. At the same time though, it made Liam kinda sad, to actually talk about all these things he wanted but at the same time realizing just how far away they were and how unlikely to actually happen. The only good thing that came out of it though was that Niall seemed to have fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of Liam talking because when Liam whispered is name again after stopping talking for a moment, there was no response. 

Liam didn’t stay up the whole night, but he did wait for a while to see whether Niall would wake up again before trying to reach Zayn without moving too much and risk waking the blonde. It wasn’t a very relaxing night, Liam woke up pretty much every time Niall did as much as move his head a millimeter to the side and unsurprisingly when it was light outside again, they all just felt even worse than they had before going to sleep.

 

\-----------------

 

“Did you fall asleep?” Liam decided to check because it seemed the blonde had gotten heavier on his back, but maybe that was more due to the fact that the brunette had been carrying him for this long. 

“No… “ Niall’s voice was so quiet that Liam barely heard him, there was way too much wind and it had also started snowing half an hour ago and they were literally in the middle of nowhere. So much for finding a better place to stay at, had the others not been so far ahead of them already, Liam would have suggested they simply turned around. If they didn’t find anything soon, the brunette was sure that they’d all freeze to death because it literally felt like there was a storm coming or something. “Let me down.”

“Why?” Honestly, though Liam’s back was hurting and though he wanted nothing more than to just sit down and take a break, he knew Niall felt even worse than him, the blonde was coughing and sniffing constantly, his voice sounding rough and as if he was half asleep. He hadn’t even eaten anything a few hours ago when they had left the shed they had spent the night in though Liam had tried at least 10 times to make him, the blonde had finally told him he would rather not swallow anything because it hurt too much. 

“Just let me down.” Niall moved until Liam couldn’t hold him anymore, so he stopped and carefully let go of the younger’s legs until he had slipped down from his back, almost instantly feeling better though at the same time feeling guilty for being relieved. “You need a break.”

“Babe, you’re not that heavy, okay? I can carry you, I really don’t mind.” Liam had made sure to pull the blonde as close as possible as soon he was standing up straight again, making sure they kept moving even though they were even slower now than Liam had been before. 

“No, I can walk, ‘s okay… I just don’t wanna talk too much.” After saying it, Niall cleared his throat, almost immediately pulling a face afterwards because he was clearly in pain and Liam wanted to cry. He felt so bloody useless, he couldn’t do anything at all for the blonde except feeling bad for him and wishing he could have been the one sick instead, but obviously, that wasn’t going to make Niall healthy either. 

“Okay, but tell me if you need to take a break, yeah?” Leaning over to kiss the side of Niall’s head, Liam waited for the blonde to nod briefly before wrapping his arm around the younger’s shoulders, trying to somehow warm him up even though it probably wasn’t helping all too much.

The thing was, Liam was kinda sure they had gotten off their route in all this mess, Zayn was walking way ahead of them and Harry and Louis were somewhere in the middle, pretty much since an hour now. It hadn’t been a good idea leaving the shed, but then again one day of not walking wouldn’t have cured Niall and they couldn’t have stayed there forever, they needed to get closer to a city or some place with supplies and one where they wouldn’t freeze to death at night. So they hadn’t had a choice and in case Niall got even worse, it was better to look for a place now while he was at least still able to walk. 

Since they weren’t talking to each other because Niall was probably only focused on putting one foot in front of the other and because his throat was hurting, Liam had a lot of time to think about stuff, which he wasn’t really all too happy about. It’s just, it was beyond frustrating that things kept going wrong and that there was always something more to worry, as if the fact that they were in an apocalypse wasn’t bad enough already. Honestly, the infected were Liam’s smallest problem, especially because they had barely encountered any ever since it had gotten so cold and they had also seen a lot of dead bodies scattered randomly, no doubt infected that had died from natural causes. Which should have been a good thing, but how could anything be good if Niall felt so bad?

They probably walked for another 45 minutes or so before they finally saw some collection of houses once more and by that time, Liam and Niall were so far behind the others that Zayn had time to clear and search for supplies before they even got there. Liam would have suggested they just stayed in one of the houses because the blonde was seemingly starting to feel worse, but he didn’t really get the chance to.

It was only when Zayn stopped way ahead of them and once they had already entered the small town they had reached that Liam realized why the boy had kept going and not just settled for the first few houses, in which he seemed to have found nothing anyways. He was waiting for them in front of what appeared to be a small hotel or something, but it was hard to tell until they were standing right in front of it because of how badly it had started to snow, the wind so strong that Zayn actually had to raise his voice even when they were standing right in front of him.

“I didn’t find anything in the houses, I figured if we need a place to stay for a few days this would be best.” The fact that Zayn was talking about multiple days now was both a relief but also a little frightening because he had only said it after throwing a look at Niall, who was letting himself fall into Liam’s side so much that the brunette was almost carrying him again. “Just stay behind me, I’ll go in first.”

Liam, Harry and Louis just nodded while Niall didn’t do anything at all and Liam didn’t know why, but he felt slightly nervous about this for some reason, maybe because the door of the hotel was closed and it seemed as if someone had put wood planks in front of the windows, but it was hard to tell with all that snow. Also, Liam didn’t really have too much time thinking about it anyways, because he got even more reason to feel worried a second later when Zayn failed to open the door or kick it in.

“Fuck.” He sounded quite frustrated, which was slightly unexpected, but Liam felt quite the same. “I think someone is in there.”

“All the windows are blocked… maybe we should leave.” Louis shared a look with Liam, mirroring his worries and the brunette actually made sure to step away from the view of the door a bit, pulling Niall with him, just in case.

“No, there’s nothing in these houses, no medicine, nothing, whoever is in there probably has a shit ton of stuff and we need it and we also need a place to stay.” Without waiting for answer, Zayn started smashing his fist against the door as if he was knocking and in any other situation Liam would have immediately told him to stop making so much noise but due to the fact that there was pretty much a storm going on around them, he didn’t say anything. In fact, Liam was actually quite happy about Zayn being so determined. “Hello?! We need some help out here!”

“I don’t think they’d just open the door to anyone who w-“

“Who is there?” The voice from inside was barely noticeable, but Zayn immediately stopped knocking and Harry shut his mouth, clearly stunned for a moment. 

“We just need a place to stay until the storm passes!” Zayn yelled back, shaking his head at Liam because he probably had guessed that the brunette had been about to say something as well.

“There are enough houses, just stay in one of those.” The person inside answered, which wasn’t really a big surprise, it was what anyone would have said. 

“We’re out of water and food and we already searched all the houses, half of them got kicked in doors and smashed windows.” Maybe a lie, Liam hadn’t even looked at those houses too closely, he had been more focused on not letting Niall slip. The blonde had gone over to simply hugging the brunette, his ice cold face pressed against Liam’s neck and his whole body shivering against the brunette’s. “Please, one of us has a really bad cold, we can’t go anywhere else. We’ll leave as soon as the weather has gotten better.” 

There was no more answers from inside and Liam almost thought that that was it, but after a minute or so, the person seemed to have thought it through. “Stand in front of the door, all of you.”

For a moment, Liam really didn’t wanna do that because they had no idea who these people were or how many there were, but it’s not like they had a choice, did they? So they all silently shared looks before doing what they had been told, hopefully not looking like much of a threat when the person inside was probably looking at them through the small hole in the door but it was impossible to tell of course. 

“Do you have any weapons?” No idea what the use was of this question, because obviously they had weapons or they wouldn’t have survived for this long.

“Yes, but they’re in our backpacks.” Zayn was actually telling the truth and as if to prove it, he put up his hands.

There was more silence and nothing happening and Liam made sure to kinda move Niall a little bit behind himself so he could shield him with his body if necessary because it could have been anyone in that building, even that group they were trying to get away from. When the door opened though, they were all clearly surprised. 

It was only one person apparently, a man who looked as old as Liam’s grandfather and now the brunette understood why he had opened the door when probably nobody else would have. “Get inside, quick.”

They didn’t have to be told twice and though the hotel wasn’t exactly THAT warm inside, it was about a hundred times warmer than outside, the noises from the wind outside being cut off once the man had closed the door behind them again, making sure to barricade it once more. 

“Did any of you get bitten by these monsters?” The man asked, specifically eying Niall, so Liam made sure to immediately say no, because they obviously wouldn’t go around bragging about their immunity to strangers. “You can’t stay for long.”

“We won’t, we just needed a place to wait out the storm.” Zayn promised, though the man could have probably guessed that they wanted some of their supplies as well and that they wouldn’t have said no to have a place to spend the night. The thing was, Liam had no idea why this man had let them in, he was old and he would have stood no chance against them, but then again, they were only standing in the entrance hall of the hotel, there might have been other people somewhere in here as well. “Do you live here?”

“Yes, me and my wife have owned this hotel for forty years, we haven’t left since it all started but we’ve had people staying with us for a while, but they’ve all left again.” Slightly worrying, Liam shared a look with Zayn when they followed the man across the entrance hall, all of them vary about the situation. This was just strange, but the man very obviously had no gun on him and he seemed to be at least 70 years old. 

“Why did they leave?” Zayn asked, his hand having gone to where his gun was in his backpack despite Liam’s warning glare. 

“They wanted to get to safer places or find a camp. Some of them even thought they’d get evacuated… but no one’s come here since weeks now.” The hotel wasn’t that big, but it was big enough that Liam made sure to remember the way back to the door, just in case. 

“How did you manage to stay alive for so long if you’ve never left?” A good question, they HAD to have tons of supplies and possibly medical stuff, otherwise they wouldn’t be alive anymore.

“It’s a hotel, we just got our food delivery before things went really bad. And people in this town all came to stay here looking for shelter and they helped collect supplies, we’ve used up a lot though.” Liam wasn’t sure if he believed all of that, but then again, he really had no reason not to. Actually, the fact alone that two elders had managed to stay alive for this long was surprising, but it was also quite sad to think about because they couldn’t have left this hotel, even if they had completely run out of supplies. 

Which was exactly why it made absolutely no sense that they had been allowed to come inside.

As it turned out, they weren’t being led into some trap like Liam had feared but rather into the kitchen, so automatically as if this is what the man did to everyone happening to stroll by. Zayn kept up interrogating the man until they met his wife, who seemed surprised to see them but not at all scared or as if she was worried that they might rob them or eat all their food. To be honest, it just seemed like 2 old people trying to help others and not wanting to give up their home because they knew they had no chance out there anyways, but after everything that had happened, that explanation was a bit too simple for Liam.

“We can’t offer you a lot, but I did make something to eat just now.” It was strange, standing in an actual kitchen where people were still preparing food even if of course the stove wasn’t working anymore.

“We got our own food, thank you though.” Liam immediately opted out, which brought him a glare from Louis, but like, it was already a risk being in here, they didn’t need to take it even further and possibly get poisoned or something.

“Actually, I don’t have anything left.” Louis might have been lying, but Liam resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the other boy, instead bringing his attention back to Niall, who seemed as if though his knees would buckle in any second.

“Well, by all means, please sit down.” These people were just too nice, but seeing as standing around here wasn’t going to solve this mystery and Niall was visibly exhausted from it, Liam decided to take the offer. 

The other three very quickly warmed up to the couple though Zayn was eating his own food like Liam, he was talking quite a lot, luckily not about Niall’s and Liam’s bites though. The brunette stopped listening after a while, for the 3rd time trying to get the blonde to eat something and he did, but only a few bites before finally giving in and putting his arms on the table so he could rest his head on top of them. This wasn’t good.

“Nialler… do you wanna lie down?” Liam talked quietly though the others were now laughing at the other end of the table, about some story the older man must have told them. This was a bit surreal, but Liam had no time to worry about it because he had enough to worry about already.

Niall didn’t answer, he simply shrugged as far as that was possible, shuddering when Liam started to slowly rub his back, despite the layers of clothing. He needed some sleep and a break from everything, a longer one than just a few hours or a day but Liam had no idea if that would even still happen now.

“Is your friend sick?” The woman suddenly asked, startling Liam just a little bit.

“He’s got a cold and a fever since days now and… we’re running out of medicine.” Liam explained, not really thinking about what he had said but he decided that he didn’t regret it in the end when she suddenly got up.

“Well, if you need medical supplies, we have collected a lot over the past few months.” There was no chance for Liam to say no or stop her from leaving the kitchen, mostly because though he didn’t fully trust these strangers, there was possibility that it’d could make Niall feel better so obviously Liam wouldn’t immediately stop the blonde from taking any of their medicine if it turned out to be safe.

The woman returned a few minutes later, while Harry was busy giving a very detailed description of where exactly he lived in the UK and Liam was only listening with one ear because he was more busy with rubbing Niall’s back and stroking his hair though the blonde refused to lift his head again. He might have even slept in, Liam didn’t wanna check in case it’d wake his boyfriend.

“You can have all of these, they should help him, just make sure you read the prescriptions.” Liam was stunned when she placed the still closed packages in front of him on the table, he had been kinda scared she’d bring him already opened stuff or just pills or something where he couldn’t have been sure where it had come from, but this… this might have just saved them.

“Thank you so much, really, I… we’ve not been able to find anything for days. Do you not need them?” Kinda strange, but then again, they probably wouldn’t get sick in here, would they?

“We’ve needed them a few times when someone’s come in with a cold, but we had a lot to begin with and we’re far from running out. I doubt a lot of people are going to show up anymore after you.” The way she said it even shut up the others, because it was clear what she was implying with this, but nobody really said a word afterwards and Liam tried not to be untactful and make Niall take 5 different things at once. “I don’t think the weather will get any better anytime soon, you can spend the night if you want. There are enough beds after all and clothes left behind by people, in case you wanna change, just take what you find. You can also get yourself cleaned up, we’ve got enough water.”

“How do you have enough water?” Again, yet another statement that made Liam wanna leave or search the place or just… ask even more questions.

“We have a well in the cellar, we can pump it ourselves.” And who knew what else they had down there. “We boil it before using it for anything, just in case.”

“Don’t you want to like, save it for drinking?” It would have seemed smarter to do that than to offer it to complete strangers they had met 30 minutes ago, but then again, Liam wasn’t going to complain if all this was true.

“We will run out of everything else before we run out of water and if we do, it’ll most likely be too late anyways.” Oh. “But you don’t have to take any of these offers of course.”

“We-“

“We’d really like to though, thank you.” Louis interrupted Liam, probably thinking the brunette had been about to ruin it for all of them and Liam refrained from rolling his eyes.

They filled some more minutes with mindless chatter before Liam decided that it was okay to ask whether he could take Niall to lie down, making sure to take all of the medicine and their stuff with him though. The others followed as well when the elderly man took them upstairs to the rooms and Liam made sure to hold Zayn back for a second, just enough to whisper into his ear quickly.

“Can you make sure to clear the rest of the building once he left? Or ask him for a tour or something?” It was a hotel after all, there were multiple floors and Liam would have searched the building himself if he hadn’t had Niall to take care of, who had genuinely slept in before and hadn’t been happy at all when Liam had gently woken him.

“You’re paranoid as hell, but yes, I’ll do it. Just for you.” The last sentence came out sarcastic as hell and Zayn just grinned at Liam, probably because he saw just how much he was holding back with a rude answer. He was thankful after all, because he really needed to focus on Niall now.

The thing was, nothing about this was sketchy, every question they had had a logical explanation and they didn’t run into any other people, so Liam would have LOVED to just relax and be happy about this, but he actually doubted that he’d ever be able again to fully trust another person that wasn’t any of the other boys. 

There were quite big rooms with two double beds and a couch, so they all figured it’d be best to stick together, but after Zayn had gone to do what Liam had asked him to and they had all gotten a bucket of water to clean themselves up, Liam and Niall were alone in the bathroom of the room they had put all their stuff in, Harry and Louis using the one next door.

“Can’t I just go to sleep?” Niall was looking worse than ever sitting on the closed toilet, and Liam felt so sorry for him that he just wanted to say yes, but he couldn’t just yet.

“In a few minutes, babe, I promise. You just gotta take a few things first and then we’ll get cleaned up, but I promise I’ll do it quick.” Liam had made sure to read through the prescriptions and make sure they had all been sealed before giving any of them to Niall. 

Just to be safe, Liam made Niall swallow the pills with water from their own water bottles and though the blonde pulled a bit of a face, he didn’t refuse to take anything Liam handed him, simply trusting the brunette with no questions asked. 

“Do you need me to help you to take your clothes off?” Of course it wasn’t supposed to come off as like, a sexual thing, but it was still nice knowing Niall hadn’t lost his humor just yet.

“Jesus, why didn’t you ask me that the other two times we got off together?” The blonde joked, but at the same time his movements were really slow when he got up and started to undress, seemingly already shivering.

It should have been strange because they had never seen each other completely naked before, but if anything, it was worrying. Liam refrained from looking into the mirror himself, but just seeing Niall, he knew he probably looked as unhealthy as the blonde. 

“Okay, c’mere, I’ll do it so you don’t have to move too much, yeah?” They got in the shower much like they had a while ago when they had found that crashed food truck, only together this time. “You can also sit down if you want.”

“No, I’m good… thank you.” Niall sounded slightly shy, but he didn’t seem to mind at all that Liam was going to clean him up instead of doing it himself.

“Tell me if you feel dizzy or anything, I’ll try to do it quick.” Liam promised, kinda feeling bad about not just letting Niall sleep, but when would they ever get the chance again to get clean?

Liam used one of the towels that had still been in the bathroom, making it wet before gently starting with the blonde’s face and Niall let his eyes fall closed after shuddering from the first contact, but he didn’t say anything nor did he move away. It wasn’t sexual or anything, but it still felt a lot more intimate than that for some reason.

The blonde had so many more small cuts and bruises than Liam would have thought, so he tried to be extra gentle wiping over his skin, his mind wandering a bit once he got to Niall’s healed bites and the cut on his arm that he had made trying to save Liam. They didn’t talk during it, but Liam pressed a kiss to the younger’s forehead midway through just because he wanted to say sorry for taking so damn long and it just made Niall smile.

Once he was done, Liam made sure to tell Niall to keep his eyes closed as he poured the rest of the water over him, having taken a little bit of his own bucket because the blonde was way more important than him.

“C’mere, I don’t want you to get even sicker.” Liam made sure to dry Niall off immediately and though the blonde attempted to do it himself at first, he quickly gave up on it after a moment. The fact that he was maybe enjoying Liam taking care of him a little bit was a nice thought, something which Liam couldn’t have said about a lot of things. “I don’t know if these will fit, but… our clothes are all really dirty.”

“But if I wear sweatpants then I’ll be wearing them in case we need to leave during the night.” Niall seemed a bit vary about the choice of clothing Liam had made for him before when they had been shown the room with all the spare clothes in, but he still put them on with the brunette’s help.

“Don’t worry, we won’t have to. They’re just two old people and… Zayn’s searching the whole building just in case, but I think we’re safe for the night.” Though he wasn’t convinced by his own words, Liam hoped that they would at least calm down Niall, ruffling the blonde’s damp hair a bit once he was dressed again, kissing the tip of his nose. “You can lie down, I’ll just get myself cleaned up and-“

“I’ll wait in here until you’re done.” Niall almost immediately interrupted Liam, not leaving him a second to protest by simply hugging him really tightly out of nowhere. “Thank you for taking care of me, Li… “

“I’m always here for you, love, you know that. I’d do anything for you.” There was a bit of a lump in Liam’s throat when he hugged the younger boy back as tightly as possible, pressing his face into the side of his head and just holding on for a bit.

Niall ended up sitting on the floor while Liam was getting himself cleaned up afterwards, almost falling asleep there as well before the brunette was finally done, making sure to put his boyfriend into bed with two blankets over him. 

“How are you feeling?” It was a weird feeling, to sit on the edge of the bed after having tucked Niall in and looking down at him while stroking his fringe out of his face, almost as if they were living normal lives.

“I don’t know… like before, but cleaner.” The blonde was still talking really quietly and his eyes were dropping closed when Liam leaned over him to briefly kiss him on the lips because that’s all Niall allowed him to do in fear of getting the brunette sick as well. “I just hope the medicine will kick in soon… “

“I hope so too, babe… “ For the first time in a few days, Liam actually felt a bit hopeful. Seeing Niall all tucked up in bed, somewhat clean and after having taken medicine that was actually aimed towards the symptoms he had was more than Liam could have hoped for. “You haven’t asked me a single question today.”

At this, Niall stayed quiet for a moment, his eyes flattering closed again when Liam stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers, very surprised by the response. “Do you love me?”

Niall barely only whispered the question, not opening his eyes, as if he was afraid of the answer or somehow unsure and though Liam hadn’t expected to be asked this question, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind when he leaned down to kiss the blonde again, just briefly, before answering. “More than anything.”

“I love you too… I wanted to tell you so often during the past few days, but… I chickened out every single time.” The blonde let out a small laugh when Liam had leaned back, looking at him again with really tired eyes but otherwise looking more than happy, just like Liam felt. 

“Well… you can tell me now as many times as you want.” Liam tried to joke and it did make Niall smile but that immediately ended in him yawning. “Okay, enough talking, you need to sleep.”

“Will you stay with me?” Niall asked as if he wasn’t sure, so Liam pretended to be really offended by the question just to make the blonde laugh again because he had missed that sound so much.

“Where else would I go, hm? Close your eyes, babe.” The blonde didn’t have to be told twice, leaning into Liam’s palm when the brunette cupped his cheek, just looking down at the blonde before deciding to speak one more time, wanting to know what it felt like to actually say it out loud to the younger boy. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Li.” Niall turned his head to kiss Liam’s palm, still smiling when he finally settled down completely.

He fell asleep probably within five minutes while Liam just remained sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at his sleeping boyfriend, his heart filling with so much happiness and love that just for a little while, he allowed himself to forget everything else that they had going on, because what they had was special and nothing and nobody could have taken that away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey :D
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed the chapter, i know a lot of you were waiting to read about sick niall haha! also, in case anyone wondered, i cannot for the life of me figure out chapter titles for this chapter or the last and i deeply regret starting to do that haha!
> 
> also, there wont be too many chapters left but i do kinda have something planned that might make the fic longer than expected so who knows haha
> 
> if you want leave me a comment, i promise i always answer & i really enjoy reading them <3


	10. Toronto

Liam remained on the edge of the bed while the blonde slept, continuing to stroke his hair and mapping his face with his fingers, barely touching his skin though in fear that it would wake Niall. He hadn’t slept in a real bed ever since he had gotten sick, so maybe he’d finally get some quality sleep and feel at least slightly better in the morning.

Harry and Louis came back while Liam was still busy staring at Niall, as if that was somehow going to cure him. Then again, it wasn’t pointless either because it actually had a calming effect on Liam to just watch his boyfriend sleep, all safe and sound and hopefully warm enough for once.

“Are you-“

“Shh.” Liam made sure to immediately shush the other two as soon as they had walked in, not even bothering to really look at them but at the same time he was pretty sure that at least one of them was rolling his eyes right now. 

“We all know he won’t wake up even when we’re talking, we do it every night.” Louis was right, but at least he had done Liam the favor and lowered his voice, gently closing the door as well. “How’s he feeling?”

“The same, but I hope he’ll feel better by tomorrow.” Though those two strangers were nice, Liam wasn’t sure if they’d let them stay for any longer than this one night. Also, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to. “Have you seen Zayn?”

“No, we just used the bathroom in the room next door, he’s probably still busy searching the house.” Harry and Louis went to sit on the other bed, both of them looking really different somehow now that they had gotten clean, it was quite strange seeing somebody without dirt in their face. “Do you really think these people would wanna kill us or something? They’re pretty old.”

“I don’t know, it just seems really strange to me. Nobody can be that nice for no reason months into an apocalypse.” Liam was really hoping that they were just being nice, but he also thought that the others should have at least been a tiny bit worried with him. 

“They know they will die anyways once their supplies run out. If I were them I wouldn’t wanna drag that out unnecessarily long. Maybe they let us in because they were hoping we’d kill them.” Right, now Liam really had to pull a face at Louis and so did Harry, the oldest boy acting surprised by the reaction. “What? It’s possible. They can’t leave this hotel, no one’s coming by anymore, they’re all alone, maybe they just wanted some company. At least now we know where we can go in case Toronto turns out to be a fail.”

“I thought you believed in that whole story.” Not that Liam was surprised hearing any of them say stuff like that anymore, they had been out here for way too long to still believe in miracles. Although, Liam’s immunity kinda was one. 

“I don’t know, I want to believe in it, but what’s the point, right? I wanna be prepared in case we get disappointed.” Harry also nodded to that, which kinda made Liam feel better for a second because he had been quite afraid of them finding out they’d never get back home, but of course that only lasted for a second. “Niall’s the only one who really believes in it, I think. He’ll be crushed if there’s nothing there.”

“I know.” Liam couldn’t help but to be slightly upset because Louis was saying it as if it wasn’t something he had thought about every single day.

“But he’s got you at least, so he’ll be fine. And then we’re all just gonna live in here until we eventually run out of supplies.” Motivating.

“Can you get any more pessimistic, Lou?” Harry asked, snorting when the older boy simply shrugged. “In case that really happens I just feel bad for Zayn, he doesn’t have anyone. I mean, he does have us, but you know...”

“At least he’d quickly get over it if any of us die.” Liam threw in because it was something he kinda envied Zayn for. Not that he would have ever wished he hadn’t met Niall, but it was definitely easier to deal with things out here when there was no other person to worry about.

“Yeah, but is that really a good thing though? You only got motivated to even go anywhere at all when you started to like Niall, do you wish you wouldn’t have met him?” At this, Liam turned his head to look down at the blonde’s relaxed face once more, already knowing his answer anyways, but maybe looking at his boyfriend kinda turned his brain to mush.

“No, I’d never wish that, I love him.” It kinda just slipped out, Liam really hadn’t meant to say that out loud in front of the others, maybe ever, because he knew exactly what their reactions would have been and of course he didn’t get disappointed.

“Awww, you guys are so cute. Did you tell him that you love him already?” Okay, Harry was way too nosy, so Liam just rolled his eyes at him, shrugging because he saw no need to answer to either of them, but it seemed that that was enough confirmation anyways. “Wow, I can’t even imagine Niall’s face when you told him, he was so obviously crushing on you after like one day and even though you were threatening to kill him.”

“Okay, can we just not talk about that please? I don’t think he was cr-“

“Oh, he totally was, Li, we all know it, we all noticed. He even told me when you went missing.” Well, Liam highly doubted that actually, but then again, he didn’t really care, he just wanted them to switch the topic because his cheeks were kinda growing hot and red from it. 

Liam made sure to start talking about something else after shrugging, simply telling the others that they needed to stop taking everything from those people without questioning it but Harry and Louis didn’t seem very impressed being patronized like that. Luckily Zayn came back a few minutes later, not bursting into the room and telling them to pack all their stuff and get the hell out of here, so that was at least something. 

“The whole place is empty except us and those two. They don’t even have guns anywhere and when I went downstairs to get some water to get cleaned up, they were playing scrabble on one of the tables. I also saw their food stash and the basement, nothing strange about any of it.” Zayn was going straight for the couch while talking and though Liam was relieved about these news, he couldn’t help but still feel a bit worried, but he barely had any time to even open his mouth. “Liam, seriously, nothing will happen. Do you think they’ll just try to kill us at night and eat us or something?” 

“They might, I mean, at least it’d explain why-“

“It doesn’t explain anything. And even if they were trying to do that then one of us would be awake to stop it from happening. Nothing can happen to us, we’ll just block that door and they wouldn’t even be able to get past it. I told them we all just wanna go to sleep because we’re so exhausted and they actually wished me a good night, so relax, it’s all good.” Zayn was clearly annoyed with Liam and the brunette really got it, but he was just trying to make sure.

“I’m trying… thanks for checking all the rooms.” Liam tried it with a smile because he really did mean it, he just couldn’t turn his worries off like that. “I’m gonna go block the door.”

Nobody complained about that, they were all just getting settled in anyways while Liam made sure to push a cupboard in front of the door, which turned out to be slightly harder than expected, and right when he was done, he regretted having gotten up off the bed even more.

“Li…?” It was Niall’s voice, very quiet and barely noticeable but the others weren’t talking over him, so they all heard the blonde and Liam immediately felt his heart skipping a beat as he rushed back to the bed, ignoring the others’ reactions.

“Shh, I’m here, it’s all good, go back to sleep, babe.” He wasn’t really sure whether Niall had woken up or not, he just knew the blonde nodded a bit after Liam had leaned down to kiss his forehead, having gotten into bed with him now but lying over the blanket so he wouldn’t let in any cold. 

“’mkay… love you… “ Niall was again only mumbling it somewhere in the pillow, but of course everybody else still heard it and Liam’s cheeks were again really hot when he continued stroking Niall’s hair while answering him as quietly as possibly. 

“I love you too… “ There was no need in trying to whisper it because everybody else had stopped talking and Liam just fucking KNEW what their faces looked like though he refused to check.

It took a second or so before Louis apparently couldn’t hold back his giggles anymore and Harry actually put a hand in front of his mouth so he wouldn’t be too loud while Liam decided to block all of that out completely. This was so stupid, them being in this whole situation, everything they had been through and now Louis was just giggling like an idiot about Niall and Liam telling each other that they loved the other. Then again, it was also kinda lifting the mood slightly, just a few friends sharing a hotel room, making stupid jokes. 

Since it wasn’t really all too late yet and Niall was only sleeping because he was sick, they all stayed up for a while longer, discussing a few not so serious things and the others bringing up Liam’s and Niall’s relationship again of course, especially that moment when they had kinda walked in on them a few days ago. Zayn still seemed upset about the fact that they had done stuff next to him on the couch, actually warning Liam not to do anything again in here with all of them present, as if the brunette would have actually done that.

In the end, Harry volunteered to take the first watch though Liam wasn’t all too happy with that decision because he knew Harry long enough to know that he sometimes fell asleep during watch. Also, he seemed to completely trust these people for some reason, so he wouldn’t have really been Liam’s first choice. 

Just to be safe and though everyone groaned at his choice, Liam went to get his gun from his backpack to take with him to bed and put it on the nightstand before actually getting underneath the blankets with the younger boy, feeling Niall adjusting immediately when he spooned him from behind. They had never slept like this before in a real bed except that one time in the lookout post, but that hadn’t been nearly as comfortable as this right here.

Actually, Liam found himself quite enjoying it, letting his eyes fall closed but staying awake for a little while longer just to capture the moment, feeling Niall’s warm body pressing into his, and eventually, the blonde turned in Liam’s arms while still sleeping tightly, snuggling up against him and burying his face against the older’s neck. It actually made Liam so happy that he could have cried had he not been too tired for that, so instead he just held his boyfriend a bit tighter, just hoping that he would feel better in the morning. And even though of course Liam wanted them to reach their goal, he still couldn’t help wishing that the storm outside wouldn’t have passed by tomorrow so that they could stay here for a bit longer. 

 

\----------------------

 

When Niall woke up it was completely dark in the room and he almost panicked a little for a moment until he moved a tiny bit and realized he was lying in Liam’s arms, the older boy’s even breath being the only thing Niall could hear. The thing was, he didn’t actually feel all too terrible, it was really warm and comfortable, two things Niall had almost forgotten even existed. Also, the fact that Liam was holding him this tightly even in his sleep was really comforting as well, so Niall quickly calmed down again, snuggling more tightly into the brunette and waiting for sleep to overcome him once more. 

The next time Niall woke up, he had to blink a few times because his eyes were hurting from the light shining into the room, which would have made him a little worried however he could tell he was lying on Liam’s chest and he could feel the older’s fingers brushing through his hair, so that had to mean everything was alright. Though Niall was of course still somewhat exhausted, he also immediately noticed that his throat wasn’t hurting as much as it usually did whenever he woke up and though he still felt ill, it had definitely gotten better.

“Li?” Niall whispered after a moment, having let his eyes fall closed again because he saw no point in trying to keep them open.

“Shh, I’m here, love, you can sleep some more if you want.” Liam’s fingers were so gentle in Niall’s hair and against his skin that the blonde just wanted to let them lull him back to sleep, not worrying about anything else and simply pretending as if they could lie in this bed forever and just never move again. 

“Where’s everyone else?” The blonde wasn’t sure if they were the only ones awake or if the others had left, but it was completely quiet in the room, the only noise coming from outside, the storm from yesterday still not having passed apparently. Not really something to look forward to.

“Probably downstairs. It’s 8 in the morning, but don’t worry, they offered to let us stay for another night, so you don’t have to get up today if you don’t want to and you can just rest.” Liam’s lips felt warm against Niall’s forehead when he moved a bit and there was no denying that Niall immediately felt a hundred times better after hearing this. “How are you feeling?”

“Hmm, better, I think. My throat doesn’t hurt too much and I’m not cold anymore.” Also, even though pretty much every single part of Niall’s body was aching a bit, it was a lot less than it had been the past few days. 

“Okay, that’s good. Do you think you can sit up for a second and take some more medicine? We can also do it later.” Well, to be honest, Niall didn’t really wanna sit up right now at all, but he wanted to get better more than that so he just nodded against Liam’s chest, waiting for a few more seconds before forcing himself to get into a sitting position, his head feeling slightly dizzy from sleeping so much. 

Liam had immediately sat up with the blonde, keeping an arm around him and making sure the blanket didn’t slip too much while Niall was busy rubbing his eyes and attempting to keep them open for longer than two seconds at a time. “I must have slept for like 15 or more hours and I still feel tired as hell.”

“It’s because you slept too much, but you needed it.” The brunette was now sorting out Niall’s hair, feeling his forehead and his cheeks before leaning in to kiss the younger’s temple, and then his cheek and finally pecking his mouth, making the blonde smile though his eyes were still kinda hurting a bit. “I love you.”

That really caught the blonde off guard, especially because he had forgotten about yesterday for a moment and so his cheeks immediately turned hot and his heart skipped a beat and Liam probably noticed because he chuckled softly against the blonde’s cheek when he pressed his lips there once more. God, Niall could hear him say that all day long and he was sure his reaction would have never changed. “I love you too, Li… “

Instead of answering, Liam kissed him on the lips and Niall allowed him to do it for a bit longer than usually ever since he had gotten sick, making sure to pull away though when he was afraid the brunette was going to deepen it. He really didn’t wanna infect Liam with whatever he had, especially not now that he was finally feeling a little better.

Liam stole another brief kiss before reaching over to the bedside table where he had put all the medicine Niall had to take and the blonde finally managed to keep his eyes open, not very happy about the amount of stuff he had to take. “Okay, here’s some water… can you swallow it like that?”

“Yeah, I think so, I did it yesterday. I’m not gonna enjoy it very much though.” Niall pulled a bit of a face because none of these things tasted very good. 

“Good job.” Of course Liam was highly amused by that, just continuing to watch the blonde swallow everything he handed him, kissing his forehead again afterwards.

“’m not a baby, Liam.” Niall rolled his eyes but secretly, he didn’t at all mind and Liam probably knew because he just smirked at the blonde.

“You are though, you are my baby.” The way he said it made Niall’s stomach twist into knots, in a good way though and he suddenly wanted to giggle like a fucking idiot, but instead he simply blushed and hid his face against the older’s neck, who immediately wrapped him up in his arms, letting himself fall back against the pillows while pulling the blonde with him. “You’re so cute… and you should also eat something.”

“What if I’m not hungry?” Well, that had been a stupid question because Niall already knew the answer anyways.

“You still gotta eat anyways, babe, sorry. I won’t have you become healthy again only to watch you starve. Also, trust me, you’ll wanna have something in your stomach after the pills you’ve just taken.” Liam didn’t make Niall sit up immediately again though, for which the blonde was very thankful because that alone had felt a little bit too much right after waking up.

He did end up eating though, things from their own backpacks because even though Niall knew that they probably would have gotten something else downstairs from these strangers, he first of all didn’t wanna get out of bed for anything in the world right now and second of all, he knew about Liam’s opinion on all this. 

“Do you think that something’s off with these people?” Niall asked a while later after he had settled down once more, again with his head on Liam’s chest, his eyes open for now though, just enjoying the warmth radiating off of the older boy, his fingers absently drawing patterns on Niall’s arm. 

“I’m not sure, it seems they really are just being nice, but… I don’t know. Zayn looked through all the rooms though when you were already asleep yesterday and he didn’t find anybody else in here, so…they’re probably all downstairs playing scrabble or something.” Actually, that did sound like something Harry and Louis would do if Niall was being honest and the thought kinda made him laugh. “I think we’re good, if they had something planned they probably would have done it by now. Zayn was the one who went and asked whether we could stay another night, so it’s not like they were trying to keep us here for anything or so.”

“Do you think the others told them where we’re going? I mean, they probably asked that by now.” Also, what if one of them had accidentally mentioned Niall and Liam being immune to the virus, would that change the way these strangers thought about them?

“I don’t know, Harry and Louis might have but Zayn’s down there with them as well so I hope he would have stopped them just in case. It probably wouldn’t change anything if they knew though, everyone else who has stayed here has left as well.” At least that was what they had said though Niall couldn’t remember it that clearly anymore because he had been half asleep when they had reached this hotel and he actually still wasn’t sure how he had even managed to walk here from the shed that they had spent the other night in.

“If no one’s come back maybe that means they all got to where they wanted to go. And we are pretty close to Toronto now.” Niall knew he shouldn’t have said that, but it was already too late anyways and Liam’s silence after that was answer enough. “I know I shouldn’t make myself too many hopes, and I’m not, I just… I just wanna see if anything’s there, nothing else.”

“I know, babe… “ Liam sounded a bit sad afterwards, as if he was pitying Niall or something and he probably was if the blonde was being honest with himself. “I’m a bit… I’m afraid what’ll happen if we don’t find anything. I just don’t want you to be disappointed, and also, it doesn’t mean anything’s happened at home even if we can’t get there.”

“Yeah, but I feel like if everywhere else in the world was safe… somebody would have to be working on a solution, right? They can’t just leave everybody here and wait for them to die, can they?” Well, maybe they could, Niall suddenly wasn’t sure anymore and thinking about it wasn’t all too much fun either. “Anyways, I won’t be super disappointed or anything… just a little.”

“I know, Nialler, it’s okay. We’d all be disappointed, but we still got each other no matter what happens, yeah? We’re both immune to the virus, we’re gonna stay alive and we’ll just go somewhere else then.” Niall didn’t even wanna know how many times Liam had already secretly worked on a plan about what to do in case they had nowhere else to go, he was clearly afraid of what Niall’s reaction was going to be and though it made the blonde’s heart flatter to know just how much Liam cared, it was also a bit scary. “Right now you should only focus on getting healthy again, that’s all that matters and then we’ll see whatever else happens, okay?”

“Okay.” Niall agreed after a moment, hesitating for a moment before leaning onto his elbow so he could sit up a bit and actually look at his boyfriend, his concerned expression that seemed to have become normal ever since the blonde had caught that stupid cold. 

There were a lot of things the blonde could have said, but he ended up just staring a Liam and eventually reaching out to try and lift the corners of the older’s mouth with his thumb until Liam started laughing and Niall with him, happy about the mood having become less depressing. Obviously things were just depressing in general, but there was no need really to just keep on talking about it because it wouldn’t change anything about their situation. 

Niall did end up taking a few more naps but at some point Zayn came back to the room, complaining about Harry and Louis talking way too much downstairs and that he needed a break. So all three of them were kinda just relaxing, trying to energize as much as possible before they’d have to walk again tomorrow, something Niall really wasn’t looking forward to but then again, just lying around and not doing anything at all was making him a bit anxious as well. 

Eventually the others came upstairs as well, looking a lot less exhausted though than Niall would have expected, which was a little bit to his annoyance because that also meant they weren’t too tired to talk about him and Liam because apparently that was the only topic that kept everyone entertained. 

“Maybe you guys should get your own room.” Louis joked upon entering and Niall would have rolled his eyes had it not felt like too much work. 

“No one’s making you come in here.” Liam shot back, clearly annoyed when the others just laughed at his answer, sitting on the couch because Zayn had taken the bed to himself a while ago. “What were you doing down there for so long anyways?”

“We just talked to them and played some weird card games, I don’t know. I mean, they are letting us stay here and eat their food so we don’t really have a reason to be unfriendly, do we? I mean, I know you guys can’t come downstairs because Niall needs to rest and they were really understanding about that by the way. And before you ask, no we didn’t tell them either of you were bitten.” Harry immediately shut Liam down before the brunette had even had the chance to fully open his mouth. “We also didn’t tell them about Toronto, we were just trying to find out where the other people that have stayed here before have gone, but they said they had no idea.”

“Sounds a bit weird.” Liam was back at doubting the whole situation, Niall could just tell but he remained silent, just rubbing his hand over the older’s chest he was still lying on. 

“Not everything is weird, Liam, some things are just the way they are and there’s nothing to it. How’s Niall?” Harry probably wasn’t sure if Niall was awake or not so the blonde forced himself to speak up.

“I’m good. I mean, better at least.” A whole lot better and though he still had a cold of course, he didn’t think he had to die anymore as soon as he stepped out of bed. Then again, he hadn’t really gotten up today except for one time when he had had to pee because Liam was making him drink water all the time as if they weren’t almost running out. “I think I’ll be fine if we leave again tomorrow.”

“Yeah, let’s just see what the weather is like tomorrow before we decide, I’m pretty sure we’d be allowed to stay for way longer if we just asked or if there’s bad weather or something.” Harry almost sounded as if he wouldn’t have minded, as if he actually wanted them to stay here and it made Niall feel a little nervous. Harry and Louis were the only ones who had been as eager and hopeful as he was and it seemed that had somehow changed ever since they had been on their own and the blonde really didn’t want them all to lose sight of each other again. “I just mean because it’d be quite stupid to leave only for you to get worse again in a few days.”  
“I’ll be fine.” Niall maybe sounded a little bit like a stubborn child but he really did mean it even if it had probably come out slightly too aggressive because Liam immediately held on tighter to him, rubbing his back soothingly.

“Okay, I was just saying, we’ll see what happens.” The other boy shrugged, which Niall barely took any notice of though because he felt like he had kept his eyes open for way too long by now. “By the way, we’ve been drinking their water since last night, I don’t think it’s poisoned.”

He was probably referring to the almost empty bottle on the nightstand that Liam kept giving to Niall to drink from but Niall had no idea what Liam’s reaction was to that because the brunette never answered and the blonde couldn’t really look at him from the position he was in lying on Liam’s chest, even if he had opened his eyes. 

Nothing happened the rest of the day, they were all just hanging out and at one point the older couple must have come up to talk to them but the blonde barely noticed that because he was just falling in and out of sleep the whole time and Liam was covering his ear with his palm in order to shut out the voices, so that was rather nice. 

Niall could have easily spent a few more days like this, not worrying about anything and just sleeping whenever he felt like it, but at the same time he was determined to get to Toronto and to finally find out whether all their hopes had been in vain.

 

\----------------------

 

“Thank you so much again, we’d probably be dead now if it wasn’t for you.” Louis was being slightly overdramatic when they said goodbye, but Liam had to admit that he would probably forever be grateful that Niall had gotten so much better all thanks to them being able to stay here.

“You boys can always come back in case you don’t find anywhere else to stay. Do you have a plan where you’re going?” They were already down by the door, Liam was only listening to the conversation with one ear because he was busy pulling Niall’s zipper up even higher and adjust his scarf, to which the blonde only rolled his eyes but let him do it anyways. 

“Not really, but we’re going North I think.” Zayn lied to Liam’s relief though if Liam was being honest to himself here, he didn’t know why he was still worried about people finding out where they were going. But just in case this other group showed up here, he really didn’t want them to get any hints on where they had gone. 

They had a bit more small-talk, nothing interesting really, Liam made sure to thank them for the medicine and stuff and he was actually about to just pull Niall outside with him instead of dragging this out even longer, but he didn’t miss the comment the older woman made to Harry on their way out. 

“Well, if it’s any help, I heard the Toronto area is where a lot of people are going.” She just said it, just like that, Liam almost stumbled into Niall as he looked at the woman but she hadn’t at all sounded as if she knew what she was talking about.

“Oh, right, thank you.” Harry seemed startled, sharing a look with Niall before saying goodbye once again and he waited until they had walked away from the hotel and the door behind them had been closed once more. “Did you all hear what she just said to me? Do you think that means something?”

“I-“

“No.” Zayn almost immediately cut Niall off and Liam would have stood up for the blonde but Niall simply shrugged at him, instead reaching out for Liam’s hand. He was still a bit pale but he looked so much better now, a lot more energized and the weather was actually really nice so Liam was hoping it’d stay that way. “You guys need to stop making yourselves hopes anytime somebody says literally anything at all.”

No one really had a response to that because it was kinda true so actually, they all fell into a silence for a few minutes and Liam tried to be subtle about checking Niall’s face every few seconds, pretending he was simply looking around to reorient himself. The thing was, nobody was in good spirit right now, Liam knew that the other three hadn’t really wanted to leave just yet and Niall was still a bit sick and he himself was just worried, about everything and everyone as per usual. 

They had about 500 more miles to go and though that was a lot, it also really wasn’t that much at all considering where they had started and the fact that they could have possibly already been there without any of the things setting them back happening or Harry driving them into the wrong direction. But they possibly wouldn’t have met Zayn then and despite the fact that they didn’t always get along, Liam counted him as a friend and he trusted him even if they tended to disagree on certain things. 

As the day progressed, things started to quickly become more like they had been a while ago right before they had all gotten split up, Niall had apparently come up with even more questions yesterday while they had all just been lying around and they were less personal now so the others had great fun answering them instead of Liam and Niall pretended to be annoyed, but it was obvious he really wasn’t. Had it not still been so cold outside and had they not seen human bodies buried underneath the snow once a while, Liam could have pretended they were just taking a little walk as friends. 

A two-week one.

 

\--------------------

 

“I think we should, like, make a plan somehow, I mean… we can’t just walk into a city that big, we gotta be careful. What do we do in case we get attacked by someone? What if it turns out the whole city is full of infected? Do we run, or…?” Zayn was the first one to bring it up after 9 days of practically nothing happening, which, if Liam was correct, was the longest time they had ever gone with no incidents setting them back in their schedule.

“We stick together, no matter what happens, and we won’t just openly walk on the streets, that’d be stupid as hell. And no matter what, we can’t split up, no one can just start running away because chances are we’d never find each other again.” They had already had luck with that once, Liam doubted they’d have it twice. “I almost feel like it’d be better to go at night.”

“No, what if someone sees us and thinks we’re trying to rob them or something? They could be hiding in a building and just shoot at us, we wouldn’t even see it coming.” The other boy was immediately shaking his head from across the room, Liam adjusting Niall half lying on top of him a bit, the blonde just eating some nuts, his appetite luckily having come back a few days after they had left the hotel and by now, Niall was pretty much healthy again. Which, honestly, was the thing Liam cared about the very most.

“How would they shoot at us in the middle of the night? They wouldn’t even see us.” Liam was a bit stressed out if he was being honest, the day they’d arrive had always been so far away in the future and now they could have made it within 4 days, which was scary to say the least. 

“If they can’t see us how are _we_ gonna see anything, genius?” Right. 

“Can you guys stop fighting? I’m trying to concentrate here.” Harry called over from the corner he and Louis were sitting in, playing some card game that they had found a few days ago. They had also made Niall play with them a while ago but it had turned out he was a lot better at it than them for some reason, so needless to say, he had been banned from playing, which the blonde seemed to be really proud about still. “We should try and get a car and just drive.”

“Yeah and pull all the attention on us, right? Going at night would be better than that.” Zayn rolled his eyes at that because he was doing a lot of that lately, probably from the building anxiety they all felt. “This is gonna go so wrong, I can already feel it. We shouldn’t be doing this, I always knew it but it’s just become more obvious with every day. We don’t even know what we’re looking for, I mean, are we looking for other people or some underground lab or what?”

“We should go to the airport.” Niall threw in, which kinda made Liam wanna sigh but he held back of course, momentarily pressing his lips against Niall’s head in front of his. 

“Okay and then what? They’ll already have the doors of some plane open for us to get on?” Liam was really close to telling Zayn to get it together actually, but the thing was, he was also kinda right in being really skeptical about all this. Matter of the fact was they didn’t have a plan and they had nowhere to go.

“We’ve come this far, what else are we gonna do?” The blonde sounded kinda frustrated now, actually turning his head to helplessly look at Liam and the brunette felt his stomach drop as he held Niall tighter, kissing his temple softly. 

“We’re gonna do this, Ni, don’t worry.” Well, the two of them would, Liam wasn’t all too sure anymore about the others if he was being completely honest here, especially regarding Zayn. 

“I’m not going by night and not by car, it’s already risky enough, we don’t have to literally BEG to be killed. We’ll go during daytime and as soon as we reach that airport and nothing is there we’ll leave.” And with that, Zayn seemed to have decided that the conversation was over because he simply got up and walked out of the room to do god knew what, Liam only looked after him for a moment before focusing on his boyfriend instead. 

“It’ll be fine, baby, I promise.” Actually, it was a bad idea to promise the blonde anything at all, but Liam had already done it anyways, fully pulling Niall onto his lap because he was almost on top of him already. “Do you wanna sleep?”

“No, I can’t, I’m too nervous. I couldn’t sleep the last two nights either.” Of course Liam knew that but there was nothing he could have done to change it and though he had tried waiting for Niall to fall asleep before him, he hadn’t succeeded both nights in achieving that. “Aren’t you nervous?”

Niall’s head was on Liam’s shoulder because of how far he had already slipped down and Liam made sure to adjust the blanket again while thinking about what to answer. “I am, I think we all are. But even if we find nothing-“

“But that’s not what I mean. I’m more nervous about us losing each other, like something happening and then we’ll all get split up and never find each other again or one of us dying or getting bit again, worse this time and… Zayn is right, it’s really risky to do this and I feel bad because out of all of us I wanted it the most.” Niall was whispering the last part even though Harry and Louis were across the room anyways and Zayn had probably gone outside for a bit to catch some air. 

“You don’t have to feel bad, love, no one was forced to come here, everyone _wants_ to be here. And I promise we won’t lose each other, I’d never let you out of my sight no matter what happens, you know that. I know a lot of stuff has happened since we met, but… we got through all of it and we’re all still here and alive. If there’s really nothing in that city then the chances of us getting split up or getting attacked are really low as well.” It was true, Liam highly doubted that a lot of people would choose to live in a city during an apocalypse, even if it of course also had advantages. 

Niall hesitated quite a while before answering, playing with the blanket and Liam just watched him, wishing he could have seen his face when Niall was suddenly whispering even more quietly. “I just… I’m so scared to lose you. Or that you’ll get hurt… I’ve never been more scared than when you’ve got bitten and… I love you. I really do and I just wanna be with you and… it’s killing me thinking about something happening to you. Or losing you out of my sight, I… I wouldn’t know what to do.“ 

“Baby… look at me.” Liam’s throat felt a bit tight as he waited for the blonde to sit up a bit more straight again, sniffing when he turned his head to look at Liam and though the brunette hadn’t planned on it, he immediately leaned forward to peck the younger’s lips, gently rubbing his thumb over Niall’s cheek. “There is no way I’d let anything or anyone get between us, I’ll never leave you out of my reach once we’re there, I promise. You’re everything that matters to me, okay? You don’t need to be afraid, I’m here and I love you and I’ll do anything possible to get us through this and hopefully back home. And nothing is going to happen to me, we’ll be so careful and we’ll make a better plan beforehand in a few days, okay? It’s going to be okay.”

Liam wasn’t sure if Niall believed him or not, he just kept sniffing and eventually, he wrapped his arms around the older’s neck and Liam wasn’t really sure if he was crying or not, but he tried his best to comfort his boyfriend, rubbing his back in hopefully soothing circles. Honestly, the fact alone that Niall had completely gotten over his cold and was now all well already seemed like a bit too much luck for Liam, but he was trying hard not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong. 

Or the fact that though they were so close to their goal, they hadn’t met any other people in 9 days, nobody walking into the same direction for the same purpose, which was a little worrying, but not as much as the prospect of arriving and finding out it had all been for nothing.

 

\--------------------

 

From this point on, the next few days pretty much consisted of them trying to come up with a plan and trying not to let their nervousness and fear get the best of them while arguing. It was mostly Liam and Zayn arguing if Liam was being honest with himself, but that was simply because they still weren’t used to sharing the lead and at this point, there was no need to get used to it anymore anyways.

Niall was so exhausted after 4 nights of not or barely sleeping that he had at least gotten enough sleep before they were nearing the nearest city, still not having planned out fully what exactly they were going to do. It was difficult planning ahead when they had no idea what was awaiting them, IF anything was awaiting them, and though they did see more infected the closer they got to cities and houses, it still wasn’t as many as Liam had first feared.

They agreed on going in the morning, the whole thing feeling kinda surreal, to think that they were literally only hours away from where they had been trying to get to for weeks now. To think that by the end of this day, they could have been the happiest people on this planet or the most devastated. It was scary as hell waking up that morning, the mood at an absolute low, but Niall still didn’t reject Liam’s good morning kiss so that was at least something, right?

It was a half a day walk to the airport, but Liam kinda had a feeling that that would pass by a lot more quickly, especially because of how anxious they all were, slowly starting to get onto each other’s nerves. 

“It feels really unsafe walking between houses like that.” Niall noted at some point while they were walking behind the other three, the blonde holding Liam’s hand so tightly since an hour now that the brunette felt as if though he had cut off his circulation. Not like he would have told the blonde that. “I feel like someone’s gonna jump out at us at any moment or like, start shooting at us from the rooftop.”

“I don’t think that will happen, it’s really quiet and I doubt anyone is actually here defending the place.” Why would they have? There was nothing to defend, pretty much all windows were smashed and the doors kicked in, the streets filled with abandoned cars and broken glass and sometimes dead bodies that forced them to cover their mouths and noses. Nowhere they had been to had been as bad as here, but that was probably because it was the first bigger city they were actually walking into. And now Liam had confirmation that avoiding them before had been a good idea.

“Imagine having been in a city this big when it all started, like… I know the first outbreak wasn’t here but still. Some people might still be locked up in their houses and stuff just waiting for someone to come and get them.” The blonde sounded kinda sad talking about that and Liam really got it, especially the part about waiting and nobody ever showing up to come and help. Which was sad on a whole other level as well because that would have meant that there had been no evacuation, maybe ever.

“On a lighter note though, they could have also all been evacuated.” Liam tried to cheer them both up a little, they were talking really quietly though just in case and the brunette was looking over his shoulder probably every five seconds. 

“Then what about all the dead bodies?” Good point.

“They could all have been infected and turned before even getting here, I’m pretty sure by now no one who has gotten infected is still in their original spot.” Somehow, this made Liam think of the camp he had been in with Harry and Louis, suddenly wondering whether it was still standing, whether they had all left or started killing each other. If he had stayed there just one more day, he might have never met Niall. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s okay, you can say it, I don’t think we’re gonna find anything either. But I’ve kinda been trying to come to terms with it for a few days now, so… I won’t like, start crying or anything.” The blonde suddenly said, which really surprised Liam but also made his heart sink, especially when Niall added the last part. “Maybe only a little bit.”

“You wouldn’t be the only one who’d cry, love. But we’ve still got the whole day ahead of us, so… in case you got any more questions, now would be a good time to ask them.” Liam tried to smile at the blonde when he looked at him, leaning over to kiss his forehead and at least Niall managed something very close to a smile for a few seconds.

He actually needed a little bit to come up with new questions, which was kinda funny considering how he had always told Liam he’d surely never run out. It’s just, he probably hadn’t really considered before that the fact that they were in an apocalypse made a lot of things uncomfortable to talk about or to remember that would have literally been the most normal things before.

Still, time passed by more quickly whenever they were holding a steady conversation and Liam purposely did not look at the watch on his wrist just once, instead reading the map a few times because he didn’t fully trust Zayn to find the correct way ahead of them. He did though, despite Liam’s worries, and he furthermore killed all the infected for them by himself, which honestly, wasn’t that much work, but Liam still appreciated it. 

At some point, the street was blocked with so many cars that they decided to bypass it by taking a side street instead, which kinda brought them away from the way they had planned on the map, but it was much easier now finding places because they could actually read street signs and stuff like that. It was all good and fine for a while, Liam and Niall just walking in the back talking, Louis and Harry somewhere ahead of them and Zayn in the front and it was only when he suddenly walked backwards after turning around a corner that Liam got really worried for the first time.

“What’s wr-“

“Shhh.” Zayn was immediately covering Harry’s mouth when the younger boy spoke up, his face looking slightly distressed and Liam held on tighter to Niall’s hand, feeling himself getting slightly panicked as Zayn waited for them all to get closer and gather around him so he only had to whisper. “The whole street is filled with infected, we need to go back and take a different turn.” 

“What do you mean, it’s _filled_ with them? We’ve barely seen any since this morning.” Liam whispered, almost wanting to check for himself but then he decided not to when he saw the look on Niall’s face. 

“I don’t know, it looks like at least 50 and they’re moving, so they must have heard or seen something. We’re not alone in this city.” Zayn said it in a really dramatic way as if they were in a movie or something, but it was still the first time Liam actually realized the threat of other people having the same plan as them at the same exact time. “Let’s just go back down that street and don’t make any noise.”

So they turned around and Liam made sure to keep Niall as close as possible, not really enjoying the fact anymore that they were the last ones. Nobody spoke a word anymore as they walked back down the street as quickly as somehow possible, all of them throwing looks back over their shoulders every few seconds just to be sure that no one was following them. 

Zayn didn’t consult the others before choosing a new way himself, which kinda was a little irritating to Liam, but he had no chance to call out for the other boy and he also didn’t wanna start a fight now so he just let him be, hoping that they were walking into the right direction. 

For ten minutes or so, it all seemed to work out just fine, there was no sound anywhere and no more infected and though the street they were on wasn’t really the right one, at least they were safe. And then all of a sudden, everything started to go wrong. 

Liam felt like he was part of the plot of a really stupid movie when he realized that Louis was about to trip over the remaining parts of a car, and there was nothing at all he could have done to stop it from happening because he wasn’t quick enough. It’s not like the metal made too much noise, but it was dead quiet when Louis tripped and they all immediately stopped walking, looking at each other in shock. They weren’t far enough away from where they had seen the infected. 

“We need to get inside a house a-“

“No, we’ll get trapped!” Zayn immediately snapped at Liam’s suggestion and it would have been enough to cause a full blown fight between them due to all of their anxiousness being high as hell, if they didn’t suddenly have bigger problems at hand. “We have to-“

“Um, guys?” Harry tried, his face having become pale when Liam looked at him, needing a second to realize that his eyes were fixated on something behind them. It weren’t infected though, it was way worse and Liam only realized it for one reason. 

Niall’s old backpack that he still remembered so vividly because of how much of a shock it had been to see it on someone else, and now again on the same man, the same group. They had probably heard Louis tripping as well and god knew who else had considering how fucking quiet it had been before.

“Fuck… _fuck_. Run.” Liam didn’t wanna yell when he saw that other group coming towards them and the others were standing so close to him anyways that he didn’t waste another second and grabbed more tightly onto Niall’s hand so he wouldn’t lose him when he pulled him with him, running down the street. 

They had agreed not to do exactly that, not to just start running and lose sight of each other, but talking about it and actually getting into that situation was a whole lot different and there was only one single thing Liam cared about and that was Niall. Liam never checked whether the others were behind them, he just made sure to pull the blonde by his hand, holding on so tightly that he was scared he might break the younger’s fingers without even noticing.

There were still cars and other obstacles in the way and one time Niall almost fell, half taking Liam with him and afterwards the brunette had no idea anymore how they had managed to keep on running, like everything just went by in a blur until they took a wrong turn and almost immediately ran into the arms of a herd of infected.

Liam didn’t waste a single second thinking about killing them, because he had no idea what was going on behind them at this moment, so he simply pulled Niall along into another side street, only at this time realizing that the other three were all still there as well. 

But that quickly changed in the split of a second.

No idea who it was, whether it was that other group following them now or other people, but the first few gunshots shook Liam’s body to the core because of how unexpected and loud they had been, coming from somewhere behind them.

For a second, Liam was actually relieved, thinking that those other people were going to deal with the infected and draw them all to them, but a scream behind him made his blood go cold as he slowed to a stop automatically, still holding onto his boyfriend’s hand when he spun around to see what had happened.

The other three had been way behind them and Zayn had fallen and by the looks of it, one of the bullets had gotten his leg. Fuck.

Liam didn’t know what to do, his heart was bumping so damn fast when he looked further down the street and saw the other group still shooting at the infected, leading them closer with every second passing. They were following them, or otherwise that bullet wouldn’t have randomly hit Zayn and Liam had no bloody idea what he was supposed to do now.

“Li!” It took Niall to half yell at Liam for him to come back to reality, almost automatically jogging back a few meters towards Zayn and the others, who had helped him up. There was no way he was going to be able to keep on running, his jeans were already drenched in blood and from the looks of it, he could barely even step on it despite both Harry and Louis supporting him, his face scrunched up in pain.

“This isn’t going to work, they’re coming closer, I’ll carry you, I-“

“No, Liam, just go, all of you, just… just run! They’re already too close, there’s no way I’ll be able to make it, I-“

Zayn never got to finish because another bullet just barely missed them because of how far away that other group was, but they were clearly aiming at them and in a few seconds, they’d be close enough so that they wouldn’t miss anymore.

“JUST GO!” Zayn yelled at them, trying to get out of Harry and Louis’ grips and they eventually let go because there was no point in holding on anymore. Instead of even just trying to keep on running, he got his gun out, aiming at the other group and Liam didn’t know what the fuck to do because with Zayn shooting at them, more of them were now aiming at him as well and Liam had duck, pulling Niall with him, making sure to stand in front of the blonde.

“Zayn, _fuck_ , just come on! We can’t leave you behind!” He’d die, if they left him, he’d be dead and they all knew it, but he simply ignored Liam and the brunette was getting frustrated. “ZAYN!”

“Liam… Liam we should go!” Niall was crying, like, full on, pulling on the older’s hand and just when Liam tried to reach out for Zayn and try to get him to come with them again, he felt the sharpest pain in his upper arm that made the blonde scream. “LIAM!”

“Fuck… it just grazed me, I’m fine, I promise… “ Liam broke off, looking at the torn piece of his jacket quickly turning red and then looking at Harry and Louis and finally Niall.

And then they all just started running. 

The adrenaline pumping through Liam’s body kinda made the pain not so bad while they were running, but he could also feel himself becoming a little less oriented and there were still gunshots behind them and they had just fucking left Zayn there and everything had gone so wrong so quickly that it was hard to take in. Especially while running through a city they had never been in, not knowing where to go or what was going to happen.

Liam felt like they had run for ages and all he had tried to focus on was Niall’s hand in his, not letting go because there was no way he’d lose this boy, no fucking way. When the noises had stopped for a while, Liam pulled Niall into yet another side street, throwing a look over his shoulder before slowing to a stop so they could catch their breath for a moment.

“Where… where are Harry and Louis?!” Liam panicked when he didn’t see the other two, he had assumed they had stayed right behind them, but he quickly had other problems when he felt a piercing pain in his arm upon Niall touching it. “Fuck, don’t.”

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to… oh my god, Li… “ Niall looked close to crying again as he stared at Liam’s arm and then into his face, both of them still frantically trying to get some air into their lunges.

“It only grazed me, it’s not… it’s not in my arm. I’ll be fine, baby, don’t worry, okay? Please don’t cry.” To be fair, Liam wasn’t sure if it actually was in his arm or not, but it didn’t feel like it and yeah, it hurt, but it hurt more like a bad cut than a bullet in his arm. “Where did Harry and Louis go?”

“I don’t know, I… I was only focusing on you and… and we took so many turns and… fuck, Li, we lost them all, and Zayn was shot and he’s probably dead now and… and we just left him b-behind and Harry and Louis… and your a-arm… “ Niall was losing it, his tears had spilled over and he was shaking like crazy and Liam didn’t know what to do so he just pulled the blonde into his arms, holding him as tightly as he could with his arm pulsing in pain. 

“Shsh, it’s gonna be okay, Nialler, it’ll be fine. We’ll find Harry and Louis and my arm will be just fine, okay? Do you wanna sit down and take a break, baby?” There was nothing else to do anyways, plus them being all out here in the open was risky as hell and though Liam kinda wanted to resort to crying as well, he couldn’t do that right now. “Come on, let’s take a break, it’s going to be fine, love, I promise.”

Niall didn’t allow Liam to pull away at first because he was just crying and shaking, clinging to the brunette for his dear life and when he did, his face was red and wet and Liam wanted to cry with him. Instead, he kissed the younger’s forehead before reaching out to gently try and wipe some of the blonde’s tears away, only with one hand though because he couldn’t really move his other arm without being in pain. 

They did check the street they had come from for Harry and Louis, but nobody was there, also not in any of the other side streets, it was as if everybody else was just gone, as if they had just imagined everything that had just happened. There was nothing they could have done and also, Liam’s wound was now bleeding on the ground and he needed to at least wrap it up or something. 

Obviously they weren’t too far away from the airport, but once they had found a house to stay in for a moment and Niall had wrapped Liam’s arm up in bandages while choking back tears the whole entire time, neither of them got back up again and they just sat there trying to take in what had just happened. 

They had no choice but to keep on going really, they couldn’t go back to help Zayn and they couldn’t go outside yelling for Harry and Louis because it’d be way too loud and if Liam was being 100% honest right now, he knew that there was nothing in that airport or in this entire city, or the next. 

There was nothing left and nowhere to go and they had done all this for absolutely nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, thanks for reading :)
> 
> as i know what most people are going to be thinking after this chapter, i wanna address it right now instead: Leaving Zayn behind wasn't something they did because they were being selfish, there was no way he could have run and he knew that, he started shooting at the other group to give the others time to run away and there would have been no point in staying, especially because Liam had also gotten shot at this point, it would have killed them all or ended with them being injured and it definitely wouldn't have saved Zayn.
> 
> im sorry for the cliffhanger, but i kinda needed it to prepare for next chapter! as i already said in the beginning, this fic wont be terribly long so idk how many more chapters there will be but my guess is around 2-3!
> 
> let me know what youre thinking if you want <3


	11. The Airport

“We should go back.“ Niall couldn’t stop thinking about the others, Zayn especially, the way they had just left him there to die. It was wrong.

“We can’t go back, love.” Liam explained probably for the fifth time now, but he still sounded nothing besides guilty, his voice soft though whenever he talked to the blonde, probably because Niall was a freaking mess. “Harry and Louis gotta be around here somewhere, I’m sure nothing happened to them, they probably just took a different turn at some point.”

“But what about Zayn? Do you think… do you think he’s dead?” The blonde was actually pretty sure that he was, because what else could have happened? Zayn couldn’t have run and they had been shooting at him, at all of them, so how would he have survived?

“I don’t know, Nialler… if that was his other group and they recognized him, maybe they stopped shooting or something. He could have made up some story as to why he ran away from them during the night and… maybe he’s alright.” The older boy was just making all this up, Niall knew it but he nodded anyways, wiping his face once more because of the new tears that had spilled over. 

“How’s your arm now?” That was another thing Niall was asking every few minutes ever since they had sat down in this house that was a complete mess, but it was safer than standing outside in the streets somewhere. 

“It’s alright, the bullet just barely touched me anyways.” A lie, Niall knew because he had seen the wound and wrapped it up himself and though he was pretty sure the bullet had indeed only grazed Liam, there had been way too much blood for it to have already stopped hurting. 

Still, Niall couldn’t have helped Liam so he didn’t say anything and instead just turned his head, barely putting any pressure on the kiss that he placed on the older’s shoulder, above the bandage of course. “I’m sorry. I wish they would have shot me instead.”

“Babe, why would you wish that? I’m completely fine, yeah? I promise. We’re going to make it, Nialler, we’ll be just fine, we-“

“What was that?” Niall interrupted Liam after having heard something from outside, his heart immediately having sped up again as he sat up more straight, reaching for his knife. “I think someone is outside.”

“I didn’t hear anything, I- Niall, don’t.” They were both just whispering, Liam trying to hold the younger boy back when he moved to get up, but immediately wincing in pain because he had moved his injured arm to grab a hold of the blonde. “Fuck… “

“Are you okay?” The blonde whispered back in panic, at the same time though still nervous because of what he had heard and he couldn’t really see the door from where they were so that was either a good thing… or a really bad one. 

“Yeah… I’m gonna go, you stay here and-“

“No, you already got hurt.” There was just no bloody way Niall would let Liam go and judging by the looks on the older’s face, he wasn’t going to let Niall go by himself either. “Maybe it was nothing, maybe I didn’t hear right.”

“Maybe… “ Liam didn’t seem convinced, his fingers were still wrapped around Niall’s wrist as he pulled the blonde closer so that they were both pressed against the wall, moving very slowly towards the corner. 

Right before they were going to turn and check whether somebody was there, there was yet another sound, much louder this time, and a whisper as well that prompted Liam to rise his gun. Before Niall could have stopped him, the older boy had let go of his wrist and stepped around the corner, only for the blonde’s heart to literally stop for no reason at all.

“Shit, Li, it’s just us!” Oh.

Niall didn’t even hesitate pushing away from the wall as well to be able to see around the corner and he suddenly felt a million times lighter when he saw Harry and Louis standing there, slowly recovering from the shock of Liam jumping around the corner with his gun aimed at them. Without thinking about it, Niall simply walked around his boyfriend to hug Louis and Harry both at once, trying not to get too emotional, it’s just… fuck, he had thought that this time they had lost them for good. 

“Are you guys okay? Where’ve you been?” The blonde only pulled back after a while, kinda wanting to laugh and cry at the same time but he tried to keep it together.

“We’re good, you guys just took off and we kinda lost sight of you at some point. We were just walking because we got tired of running and we saw the blood on the pavement outside so we thought it might be from Liam’s arm but we weren’t sure. How is that by the way?” Harry was looking more closely at Liam’s bandaged arm when the brunette moved a bit so they could see, the bandages already having turned slightly red again, which immediately caused Niall’s anxiety to come back full time. 

“It’s alright, the bullet only grazed me.” Liam repeated the same thing he had seemingly told Niall a hundred times before and the blonde reached out for his hand, squeezing when Liam threw a small smile at him. “I’m glad you guys are okay, we were looking for you once we stopped running but… it’s dead quiet outside again.”

“I know, it’s kinda creepy, actually. Especially now that we know how quickly all that can change… what are we going to do now?” Louis looked at Liam when he asked because the brunette mostly made their decisions with Zayn, but… well, it was only Liam left now. 

“We should keep moving and get to that airport as quickly as possible.” Liam squeezed Niall’s hand once more before letting go, picking up Niall’s backpack from the floor and handing it to him before getting his own, the blonde immediately moving to help him put it on so he didn’t have to move his arm too much.

“Can you carry it? I can carry yours as well if it hurts too much.” Niall was closely monitoring the look on Liam’s face, but other than sucking in a breath once, the brunette seemed to be fine. Or he was pretending to be fine at least. 

“I’m good, love, thank you, it’s not too heavy anyways.” It looked kinda heavy though because so was Niall’s but the blonde just nodded, deciding to keep an eye on Liam though.

“What about Zayn?” Harry asked when they were all walking out of the house again, Niall making sure to grab a hold of Liam’s hand again because not only did he need the comfort, but he also didn’t want the brunette to walk out of his reach or for them to get split up. “Do you think that… you know.”

“I don’t know, um… but if we go back… I don’t know what will happen.” They all felt guilty and it was obvious, Niall was pretty sure he would have been crying right now had he not still been so afraid for their own lives and trying not to think about Zayn because there was nothing they could have done to help him anymore now. “I wouldn’t have left him behind if he hadn’t told us to, I would have carried him.”

“We know, Liam, and Zayn knows that as well… he wanted us to leave, there was no way it would have ended well had we all stayed.” Which kinda implied that Zayn was most likely not alive anymore, but the thought made Niall feel sick to his stomach so he tried to focus on Liam’s hand in his instead and the street ahead of them.

“Yeah… I still wish we would have stayed with him. But he’s injured and the only thing we can really do is try to get to that airport as quickly as possible and if there really is something there… maybe the people there can help us to go back and look for him.” When Liam said it, it was obvious that he didn’t actually think that this would happen, he was probably just trying to justify not going back because even though they all knew it would have been a really bad idea anyways, they were still aware that they COULD have done it, potentially.

They fell into a silence then, only momentarily though but Niall knew what they were all thinking about anyways. What Niall felt most guilty about was the fact that he had caught himself being relieved that it had been Zayn and not Liam who had been shot and though he knew that it was normal to think that way, it still made him feel extra bad for not going back. Maybe they should have though, there was a possibility that Zayn was still alive and just injured, possibly bleeding to death or something, but then again… that other group was there as well and they would have surely won had it come to a fight. 

Besides all that, Niall also doubted that they’d even find the way back. 

They had to stop in another side street so that they could read the map again and then look for a street sign in order to plan a new route though by now they all knew the chances of them finding anything at the airport were pretty much zero. Even Niall knew that by now, but he felt like he was coming to terms with it since this morning. He had Liam and the brunette had now twice survived something that could have potentially killed him and what more could the blonde have asked for, really?

Plus, they had been reunited with Harry and Louis as well, so it seemed as if though their luck had already run out.

Because of what had happened before, they tried to be even more careful and quiet and though they did talk to each other, but they mostly tried to whisper. This time, they didn’t walk with as much distance between them anymore as before just in case and even though it was completely unnecessary. They didn’t see any other people and only few infected that were just standing around, only moving when they saw them and Niall was relieved when Harry and Louis killed most of them. 

The sun was about to come down by the time they reached the airport, all of them exhausted and at their absolute lowest, so it didn’t exactly help that they were all slapped in the face by reality.

There was nothing there, no other people, no rescue, no evacuation and though Niall had thought he had already come to terms with it, he still burst into tears the moment they had entered the main building of the airport and made it to another floor in order to have a better view outside. Yes, there were still planes and stuff of course, but they were all alone otherwise and it was the very first time that they were without a goal or a plan.

“C’mere… “ Liam pulled the blonde into a hug as soon as Niall had felt the first tear spilling over, seconds later quietly sobbing into Liam’s shoulder as if that was going to make any difference. It wasn’t even that he was so surprised or anything, he was just so bloody tired and exhausted and they had lost Zayn and now they’d never find out if their families and friends were still alive back at home. And even worse, if they were, they’d still never see them again. “I love you so much, Nialler, I’ll never let anything happen to you, I promise… “

Niall would have loved to answer, but his throat was really tight and he wasn’t even sure if he had heard everything Liam had said so he just stuck with clinging to his boyfriend and trying not to cry too loudly. Then again, it wouldn’t have really mattered if he had cry loudly or not, they were inside a building anyways and even if infected had come, they could have easily killed them.

No one spoke a word and Niall refused to lift his head from having it buried against Liam’s shoulder so he had no idea what the others were up to, whether they were crying as well. Yes, there was a possibility that there were people somewhere else in this city, but what was the point trying to find them now? They couldn’t have brought them back home either, they obviously didn’t have a cure or the resources to help anybody so there was no reason risking their lives finding out. 

They were never going to get back home, they had given Zayn’s life for it and now they were all trapped here anyways for the rest of their lives.

 

\------------------------

 

“Did you find anything?” Liam felt slightly nervous each time Harry and Louis went off to explore the airport further and then came back with no news. He would have suggested they all went together, but he couldn’t really do that when Niall was still crying into his shoulder, refusing to speak. This was what Liam had been so afraid of for so long and now that it had happened, it was even worse than expected. 

“Nope. It’s completely empty except for us and a few infected and dead bodies.” Louis sat down next to Liam and Niall, apparently giving up on searching because they all knew it was pretty much pointless anyways. “What are we gonna do now?”

“I don’t know… “ It was the first time Liam said it out loud, told the others that actually, he had no bloody idea what they were supposed to do now or where they should go. They could have gone back to that hotel, but that was a two weeks walk and who even knew if anybody would still be there when they got there? Also, what then, would they just live there until they’d eventually run out of supplies? “What do you guys wanna do?”

There was no answer, Louis just shrugged and Harry barely reacted as he sat opposite them, leaning against the window overlooking the landing area of the planes. They had reached their goal and now they had nothing left except each other and Liam wasn’t even sure how long that was going to last considering everything that had happened to them on their way here. Zayn could have still been here with them if they done things a little bit differently. 

Niall refused to engage in the conversation, he was completely done and exhausted and Liam really got it, but it was killing him to see the blonde like this, not being able to help him after having had weeks to prepare for this moment. Maybe deep down Liam had thought that they’d get back home without even realizing it, maybe he had just been as hopeful as the blonde and the only reason it didn’t hit him as hard was that most of his family was already dead. 

“We can keep searching the city tomorrow or make sure we cover the whole airport building just in case. We should also try to find more supplies and… and then we can still decide where we’re going to go, maybe look for a camp or… we could also stay here somewhere.” Considering that the other group was still around here as well, that probably wasn’t the best idea but Liam was trying hard to give them all options so the situation didn’t appear as hopeless as it actually was. “If everything fails we can always go back to the hotel.”

“We should have stayed there all along.” Harry threw in, which made Niall twitch in Liam’s arms but the blonde didn’t say anything. “Zayn would be still alive.”

“He would, but for how long would we all stay alive in that hotel? Seven people would use up a lot more supplies than just two and also, we had to come here and see if anything’s here, we couldn’t just ignore the possibility.” Also multiple people had mentioned Toronto now so Liam did believe that there were evacuations or something similar here once, but who knew how long ago that was? “Zayn could still be alive now.”

“How? He was shot in the leg, even if they spared him he’d bleed to death or be torn apart because he can’t run away. And I’m pretty sure they didn’t spare him, they were shooting at us and running after us. If we go back all we’re going to find is his dead body.” The way Harry just said it straight out made Liam flinch a bit, right before guilt was overcoming him yet again, even worse than before. “Or nothing, if-“

“I don’t think we need a visual.” Liam interrupted before Harry could go on to talking about Zayn having been eaten by infected, it truly wasn’t going to make things any better. “There’s nothing we can do for him now, we gotta try and stay alive ourselves.”

“We should go somewhere else, it’s too open here and we’re going to lose all the light soon. There’s a bathroom down there, we can just spend the night in there.” Louis didn’t actually wait for an answer, he just got back up, slightly too fast for Liam because he wasn’t quite sure if Niall would be up for going anywhere at all. “I’ll look for something to put in front of the door.” 

Harry didn’t actually go with him because Louis only went away a few meters and Liam was pretty sure nothing was going to happen to him within those few minutes. So instead, he tried to get Niall to talk to him at least, his heart feeling quite heavy when he pressed his lips against the younger’s head.

“Baby?” Liam tried, half whispering but not really because it was only them and Harry anyways and it didn’t seem as if Niall really cared about that sort of stuff anymore. “Do you think you’ll be okay getting up? Just so we can walk over to the bathroom? I can carry you if you want.”

“No… I can walk.” Niall didn’t lift his head immediately, he just took a shaky breath before slowly sitting up more straight, rubbing his eyes with his fists before lowering them, letting Liam see his red and tear stained face. 

The brunette didn’t really know what to say for a moment so he just looked at Niall, squeezing his shoulders before reaching out with his free hand to gently stroke the blonde’s cheeks with the back of his fingers before leaning in to peck him on the lips. Niall didn’t really react too much, but he also didn’t pull away or anything so that was a beginning. Hopefully. 

Just this once Liam didn’t say anything at all because he had run out of words to say to try and make Niall feel better, which maybe was one of the scariest feelings ever. Instead, he waited a few moments before attempting to get up, relieved when the blonde went with him, refusing to leave any kind of distance between them though.

Harry walked with them to the bathroom, showing them the way, and Louis came along with what appeared to be barriers of some sort in order to block the door. Liam actually highly doubted that they were going to need them, it’s not like infected could open doors and seeing as they were pretty much alone in here… even if that other group reached the airport, they would never find them in here during the night and one of them would keep watch just in case.

There was nothing to lie comfortably on really so they were just sitting or lying on the floor with the blankets that they had and at least it wasn’t too cold in here because of how far they had actually walked into the airport. Though of course they had been out here for weeks, sleeping in an completely empty airport was maybe the creepiest place that they had ever spent the night in. Just because everything that Liam would have usually associated with airports was gone completely and when it got dark, it got REALLY dark. 

After Niall had changed his bandages with the most empty expression on his face, Liam volunteered like so many times before to take the first watch and tonight it was probably the very hardest to do so because they had all thought that maybe those times were over, that maybe by the end of this day they could have been in complete safety. But instead they had lost Zayn and they had nowhere left to go.

“You can sleep, I won’t sleep anyways.” Niall whispered to Liam a while after they had all fallen into silence, the blonde having snuggled up against the brunette, the blanket wrapped so tightly around him as if he was afraid someone might tear it away. 

“You should try, baby, it-“

“I can’t, Li. I’m scared of falling asleep.” The blonde’s voice cracked a little at the end so Liam tightened his arms, leaning his cheek against his boyfriend’s head. 

“I’m here, Nialler, there’s no need to be scared, okay? No one can get in here.” Maybe they could have, but Liam highly doubted that they would even want to if he was being honest.

“’s not what I’m scared of… I don’t… I don’t wanna relive all this while sleeping. And Zayn… “ Niall just stopped talking right then and there, sobbing quietly and Liam felt tears building up in his own eyes. None of them had really cried about it, but not because they didn’t care but rather because they didn’t know what had really happened and they were all trying to ignore just how much had gone wrong so damn quickly. “L-Liam… “

“Yes, love?” The brunette was kinda scared of what was going to follow, he also didn’t know if Harry and Louis were listening, which they probably were because even though they were lying quite a bit away from them, Liam was pretty sure he could hear them whispering once a while.

“D-Do you think… that m-maybe… maybe we’ll f-find another p-place where… you k-know… “ Niall stopped talking because he had to take too many breaths to calm himself down, but there was no need for him to finish anyways because Liam knew what he had been trying to say. Exactly what he had feared.

“Maybe, yeah. We won’t just sit around and wait, okay? We’ll just keep looking and who knows what will happen, this doesn’t mean anything at all.” What else was Liam supposed to say, really? At this point he really didn’t think that their families and friends were still alive either, but he couldn’t say that to Niall obviously, the blonde was way too upset and disappointed. 

“B-But… w-what h-happened to Z-Zayn… it could h-happen to a-all of u-us… if it h-had b-been you… “ The blonde was full on crying again and Liam felt a tear on his own check that he didn’t bother wiping away because it was pitch black anyways. “W-When I s-saw your a-arm bleeding… I thought t-that… that y-you’d d-die… “

“I know, Nialler, but I’m completely fine. We’ll be even more careful now and we know that other group is somewhere around here and that there’s a bunch of infected, so we won’t be as careless as we were today and then nothing is going to happen to us. We’ll make a completely new plan tomorrow morning, okay?” Not sure what sense it made to make a plan, but Liam just knew if they didn’t, they’d go completely insane. 

“I j-just… I just wanna k-know what’s g-going on at h-home… “ There was no point trying to calm Niall down by lying to him or pretending that things were going to be fine, because they weren’t fine and chances were, they never would be again.

“Me too, baby… “ Was literally all Liam could think of because it was true, he had wanted for this to work out so damn badly, he wanted Niall to be reunited with his family and for all of them to be able to get back to their old lives, even if it’d be hard. But nothing had ever been as hard as living through the past few months and knowing that maybe things were just going to get worse…. It was going to drive them all insane sooner or later. “I love you.” 

“I l-love you t-too… “ Niall sobbed into Liam’s shoulder, not too loudly though but the other two were probably still able to hear him very clearly. Not like they ever said anything about it, Liam was pretty sure all of them could have cried right now and maybe they were, it was too dark to tell.

Liam really tried his hardest to help Niall fall asleep, he would rock the boy and stroke his hair and anywhere he could reach really, whispering to the blonde so he knew he wasn’t alone and that Liam was still awake with him. Eventually, it appeared the blonde had somehow tired himself out from all the crying and then it was Liam’s turn to have a small, or actually not THAT small, breakdown. 

Everything appeared so damn hopeless in those few dark and quiet hours and Liam could just see them all still walking around in a year until eventually something would happen to them or they’d be unable to find anymore supplies or someone else would kill them and then… and then that would be it. What was the point, really? Like, yeah, Liam wanted to be with Niall and spend time with him, but like… what were they gonna do? What exactly were they surviving for if there was nothing left out there anywhere in the world?

At some point, Liam’s anxiety got really bad and he genuinely thought about waking Niall just to talk to him before quickly realizing that that would have been the dumbest idea ever. The blonde had needed ages to fall asleep and he’d be even more freaked out if he knew just how freaked out Liam was, so the brunette just kept on sitting there, trying not to go insane.

It was completely quiet in the bathroom except for Harry and Louis moving once a while and Niall breathing against Liam’s skin, but that wasn’t as bad as the darkness. Liam was keeping his eyes closed almost the entire time because he was unable to fall asleep anyways, so he didn’t even bother checking the time or waking one of the others. 

Which was also why he genuinely thought he was having hallucinations when he saw a flash of light for just a second behind closed eyes. Liam flinched so hard that he almost let go of Niall as he opened his eyes, thinking he had just almost fallen asleep or something. For a moment, it was pitch black, as if nothing had ever happened, but once the brunette was listening a bit more closely, he was suddenly sure that somebody was outside.

Liam’s first instinct was to just wait it out, because those people must have walked past the door, probably using a flashlight or something to search the place and the light must have come in through under the door because they had only blocked it kinda poorly. The brunette thought about waking the others, but then he decided it was probably best to stay quiet, suddenly convinced that it was that other group out there, the ones who had shot Zayn and were now looking for them. 

When the whispers and the quiet footsteps outside didn’t stop though, Liam simply couldn’t take it anymore. He very gently move Niall’s body until the blonde was lying on the ground, making sure to push his own blanket underneath the younger’s head and rearrange Niall’s blanket before tiptoeing towards the door, using his own flashlight so he wouldn’t stumble but making sure to cover it with his shirt so that it wouldn’t shine out from under the door. 

Liam didn’t really know what to expect or why he was being so reckless, but he pressed his ear against the door in hopes of maybe figuring out what those people wanted. The thing was, if that was the other group and if they were indeed looking to find and kill them, they would have probably just tried bursting in here, right? Then again, why would they look for them in the middle of the night, and more importantly, how would they have even known that they were here in the first place? They could have been anywhere at all in this whole city, why here?

It was impossible to make out what the whispers were about and Liam didn’t know what to do, almost running straight into the door when he felt something against his arm. Louis must have woken up or already been awake and he was suddenly standing next to the brunette, pulling an apologetic face when he noticed just how much he had scared the other boy. At least he didn’t say anything, simply threw a questioning stare at Liam, or something similar at least because the lightening was too bad to really tell. 

Seeing as Liam didn’t know what was going on either, he just shrugged at Louis, trying to decide what to do. The smartest thing was to just wait and hope these people would go away, but if they spent the night here as well or tried to get in here at some point, they’d be trapped in this bathroom, there were no windows or anything because it was an airport and it already gave Liam anxiety to just think about it.

So he and Louis just stood there for what seemed like ages, waiting and not talking to each other, and Liam actually thought a few times that the people outside had left, but they appeared to have come back at some point, giving them the biggest shock of their entire lives.

“Is anybody in there?” The knock against the door wasn’t loud and neither was the voice asking, but seeing as it had been so quiet, it scared the shit out of them, causing Niall and Harry to jump up as well.

Liam just looked at Louis with wide eyes before looking over to Niall, the blonde immediately coming over, holding onto the brunette’s arm. Neither of them said anything, but they were all nervous and about to lose it, Liam’s fingers were cramping around his gun as they all waited. It had been a male voice on the other side and honestly, Liam was slightly confused as to why they would ask, as if they expected a serious answer.

Liam was still sure that it was that other group, but they all got surprised one more time when a different voice spoke up, a female one this time. The group that had been shooting at them and that Liam had met when he had been searching for Niall had consisted of only men and though it was definitely possible that they had met her somewhere along the way, they would have still seen here a few hours ago when they had been running from them.

“We don’t wanna hurt you, we have food and water if you need anything.” Okay, this had been less than expected.

Still, Liam didn’t wanna answer, didn’t wanna give away the fact that they really were in here just in case because this kinda sounded like a trap. His plan wasn’t quite working though because despite the fact that he himself was keeping quiet, Harry surely wasn’t.

“Why would we trust you?” The younger boy simply spoke up, shrugging when Liam glared at him momentarily, wanting to curse Harry but then holding back because the damage had already been done. 

“You don’t have to, but you definitely wouldn’t regret coming out of that bathroom.” Well, that wasn’t very convincing, was it?

“How’d you even know we’re in here?” Harry asked back, giving away the fact that they were multiple people which Liam couldn’t really decide whether to find good or bad. Honestly, at this point, they were all dead. 

There was no immediate answer, which already made the whole thing even more sketchy than it had already been anyways. “We always search the place and this door was open last night.”

“Why are you searching the place?” The answer to this one was kinda obvious really, but Harry probably didn’t know what else to ask in order to drag out the conversation. Not that it would have helped them or anything because Liam couldn’t have come up with a plan to save them even if he had had an hour to think. Niall was holding his hand so tightly now that it hurt. 

“In case people turn up. Listen, you don’t have to come out of that bathroom right away, but you’ll have to come out at some point probably.” There it was, they were dead, that was it.

“Is that a threat?” It was Liam who asked this time, feeling both scared but also angry at himself for having agreed to stay in here. Then again, where else would they have gone, really? It was just stupid that they had stayed in the main building and also, who knew whether these people would have searched the whole place anyways. 

“No, it’s not a threat, just a fact. But you can stay in here as long as you want, nobody is stopping you. When you’re ready to come out though maybe we can talk about a few things.” Honestly, the woman sounded rather nice and everything, but none of this made sense to Liam because why would a random group wanna kill them? But also, why would they wanna help them?

They all just looked at one another in the light of Liam’s flashlight, trying to decide on what to do. It was true, they’d have to come out of that bathroom at some point and even if they waited, say, a few days, they’d just slowly run out of supplies without being able to restock and then they were screwed anyways.

There really was no choice if Liam was being honest with himself here and maybe it was the fact that they had nowhere to go and no plan on how to carry on, neither of them seemed all too put off by the idea of simply walking out of here and checking what these people actually wanted from them. 

The only thing Liam was really afraid of was Niall getting hurt, or him getting hurt and being unable to protect the blonde, but there was no way of knowing what would happen and if it didn’t happen today, it could have happened any other day. Still, Liam pulled Niall with him to go and hide their backpacks, just in case these people were just trying to rob them or something. 

It was Liam who unblocked the door and pretty much volunteered to go first despite Niall’s quiet protest, but he did allow the brunette to do it under the condition that he wouldn’t try pulling him behind him like he usually did whenever they somehow got into any kind of danger. The truth was, it wouldn’t have saved the blonde anyways, it was just Liam’s protective side coming through, wanting the blonde safe more than anything in this world.

The fact that nobody was trying to kick in the door once Liam unblocked it pretty noisily was maybe a good sign, but it probably didn’t mean anything at all seeing as they had nowhere to go besides out of the bathroom. Liam would be lying if he said that he wasn’t nervous as hell, that he didn’t feel the urge to pull the blonde behind him or to tell him to wait inside, but it was already too late for those kinda repercussions anyways.

Since Liam hadn’t really looked at his watch, he was surprised to see that it was already kinda light once he opened the door, slowly, trying to prepare himself for anything at all really. He hadn’t put down his gun and no one was going to make him, this was way too risky and whoever those other people were, at least they hadn’t asked them to leave their weapons behind or anything. Actually, they hadn’t really said anything that would have been weird, except for the fact that despite their denial, their statement had still sounded like a threat.

Liam didn’t know what he had been expecting, maybe to be jumped at or shot at or for that group to kill them just like they had killed Zayn yesterday. He certainly hadn’t expected seeing three strangers though, in what appeared to be completely clean and well fitted clothes, not an inch of dirt on them, no nothing. As if they had all just been hiding somewhere when all this had started and only come out today.

“Are any of you hurt?” The woman was rather short, not at all looking as if she was going to jump them any second, she wasn’t even openly holding any weapons and upon looking closer, none of them were. They all just seemed slightly concerned for some reason. What was wrong with these people, honestly?

“Why?” Liam asked as soon as he had fully stepped out of the bathroom, Niall squishing his fingers between his and Harry and Louis probably somewhere behind them but the brunette really didn’t wanna risk turning his head away from these strangers. 

“Because we have medical supplies, in case it’s urgent.” What?

“What exactly do you want from us? If you were searching the place for supplies then you’re wasting your time, everything’s already gone and-“

“We’re not searching for supplies, we have enough of them. We were looking for survivors.” The way she said it almost made it sound like they were all heroes or something, but what confused Liam even more was the fact that she would even use that word.

“Okay, um… we can probably talk about it if you guys are on your own and looking for a group or something. I just… I’m not quite sure I understand why you made us come out of that bathroom just now.” Liam would have exchanged a look with the others but he didn’t because they couldn’t have told him what was going on either. All he knew was that this was fucking weird.

“We can help you guys, we’re not looking for a group, we already have a place to stay. And I understand if you’re being suspicious after being out here for months but if you come with us-“

“No.” The brunette immediately interrupted without thinking, throwing a hopefully subtle look to either side, just to make sure there weren’t other people hiding somewhere.

The woman hesitated for a moment, her eyes getting stuck on the gun in Liam’s hand before she briefly turned around to exchange a look with one of the men she was with and the brunette already got ready to shoot. But he never did.

“I assume you’re Liam?” Okay, literally what the hell?!

“How do you know his name?” Niall was quicker to speak up than Liam and the brunette had actually thought about denying it, but where would the point have been really?

“Your friend. He told us that you had probably come here and-“

“Zayn?!” Niall interrupted her, taking a step forward and though Liam was equally excited to hear these news, he made sure to hold his boyfriend back. This didn’t have to necessarily mean anything good. “Is he alive? Where is he?”

“He’s alive, we found him last night, we heard all the noises and the shooting. He’s not doing too well, but he was stable when we left to go out looking for you guys and I’m pretty sure he is going to make it. If you come with us we can take you to him and discuss everything else as well, we’ve got our car outside and the drive isn’t too long.” The only reason why Liam wasn’t freaking out just yet was because all this sounded a little bit like a dream, like almost exactly what someone would have said to them if they had killed Zayn after making him tell them where the rest of his group was. “We can help you, we’ve helped so many others since all this started, you won’t regret saying yes.”

She sounded pretty convincing, Liam had to give her that, and also pretty nice and not like a threat at all, but the thing was though, why would anybody be that nice? And where did she wanna take them? Apparently they had a place somewhere where they were not only able to keep themselves completely clean but also to take in others and in all honesty… what did they have to lose?

Well, except being trapped in somewhere and then possibly being eaten by some cannibals or something. 

“What else did Zayn tell you about us?” Liam was pretty sure he had just cut off one of the others in their attempt to say something but they all trusted people a little too easily and he was afraid of them saying anything that could possibly have put them in danger. Or, actually, even more danger than they were already in right now.

“Not much, he told us how he met you guys and how long you’ve needed to get here, how you all got split up and about the hotel you’ve stayed in a while ago. And your names, but I just thought you might be the one who he described as being the most suspicious one.” Okay, when exactly had Zayn had time to talk that much?

“He got you there, mate.” Louis half whispered from behind and Liam would have glared at him but he was slightly more busy trying to figure out whether they were about to make the biggest mistakes of their lives right now. 

“Look, we don’t know you, you could have possibly killed Zayn and eaten him or-“

“We definitely didn’t eat him. Or anybody else for that matter.” The woman interrupted immediately, sounding slightly appalled but Liam decided to ignore it. 

“What exactly do you want from us? And why would you wanna help us?” Liam just wanted to know the facts now, like, they were standing around here not really saying anything and they were all getting their hopes up that Zayn was alive and that maybe they weren’t lost after all and the brunette really wouldn’t know what to do if this turned out to be yet another disappointment. Or something even worse.

“We’re looking for survivors every day, we haven’t seen a lot lately, but we take them back to the hospital where we’re staying and make sure to get them away from here as fast as possible. Look, we’re not just some random people, we’re volunteers from a government institution. We have doctors who are currently treating your friend and who can treat that wound on your arm, there’s no trick to it, we literally are here just to help.” Oh.

“What do you mean… get them away from here?” It was Niall who asked and Liam knew what he was thinking right now, probably getting his hopes up really high right now and Liam disliked these people just for that alone. There was no way they could bring them back home, it was just way too unrealistic. 

“If possible… to Europe, and then back home, as I assume in your case.” The second she said it, Liam could hear Niall taking a deep breath, probably not having heard the hesitation in her voice, or the _if possible_. 

“Does that mean… does that mean everything is fine everywhere else in the world and everyone else is still alive?!” Now Niall clearly couldn’t hold back anymore, his eyes were sparkling and Liam saw the smile starting to form on his face. Of course they all would have been completely over the moon if this was true, but the possibility of them all getting disappointed pretty much made it impossible for Liam to be excited or even just hopeful.

“There have been cases in other countries, but they have all been brought under control very quickly. So as you probably understand, it is not that easy to just evacuate everyone and bring them somewhere else where they might cause a bigger outbreak in another country. I can promise you though that no matter what, we can definitely keep you safe and establish contact with your families at home.” Right, this all sounded nice and fun and whatnot, but Liam actually had even more questions now than before. 

Honestly, he was really trying not to overshadow the others’ obvious happiness about these news, but he couldn’t just believe all this without even questioning it. “So, you’re telling us that basically the rest of the world is completely fine and yet you three are the only one’s here helping?”

“There is no cure for the virus and there likely won’t be one. When the outbreak started no one was let out or into the country for a month until people were slowly being evacuated. I’m not sure if you guys have the right picture of this scenario, but there aren’t a lot of people left to safe, I don’t know where you guys originally were when it all happened, but it is possible that you were in the wrong place at the worst possible time. Obviously there were more people like us shortly after it had happened, but as I said, we’re volunteers and yes, there are more of us, but… you’re the first people we’ve actually found in well over a few weeks. Look, I know this is all a lot to take in, but if you come with us we can talk about everything and I’ll explain it in more detail. And you can see your friend.” Shit, there was absolutely no way that the others would say no to this. 

Liam hesitantly agreed, for the first time turning to really look at his boyfriend’s face only to see it stained with tears. Happy tears as Liam realized quickly after the first shock, something he would have never in a million lose expected to ever see on the blonde’s face. They needed to say yes and go with these people, they had come all this way just for this and there literally was nowhere else to go. There weren’t any other options really and all there was left for Liam to do was to silently pray that his boy wouldn’t again be left completely heartbroken.

 

\----------------

 

“Are you not happy?” Niall whispered to Liam as soon as they had gotten into quite a big van that fit them all nicely, but was also causing the brunette even more anxiety for some reason. They had gotten all their stuff out from the bathroom though the woman had promised them that they wouldn’t need any of it anymore, which, again, was slightly weird. 

“I’m just… not fully convinced.” Liam whispered back, but he made sure to smile at his boyfriend, brushing some hair out of his face before pressing his lips against his forehead. He wanted Niall to be able to talk to his family so badly that it was almost killing him to think about it. “If Zayn is really alive and we get to see him… “

“I think he is.” The blonde seemed convinced and actually happier than Liam had ever seen him. It was really good to see him that way after yesterday and Niall crying through half of the night, but the brunette was also aware that this happiness possibly wouldn’t be lasting for very much longer.

Getting into a van with complete strangers who claimed they had your friend and could bring you back home seemed like a very bad idea, during and also outside of an apocalypse and yet they had done exactly that. Liam would have insisted on sitting in the front with either of those strangers, but he hadn’t wanted to leave Niall to sit somewhere behind him, so he had quickly changed his mind again once they had gotten into the vehicle.

“I hope so, love.” Liam studied Niall’s face for a moment before simply giving in to his urge and kissing the younger’s temple. These people must have already noticed how close they were, they could have used it against them and Liam should have really thought about that before they had walked out of that bathroom holding hands.

“How long is the drive?” It was Louis who asked from behind Liam, sitting between Harry and the third stranger, not at all sounding as if he was worried but more as if they were all taking a roadtrip or something. 

“About twenty minutes. We try not to go too fast so we can scan the streets while driving.” Right, Liam could probably deal with twenty minutes, but now that they had given them a number, he just knew he’d freak out the moment they’d go a little bit over that time after checking his watch. 

Driving through a big city that was completely deserted was kinda even more creepy than walking through it because now they didn’t have to do anything else other than to just sit down and wait, staring out of the windows and seeing all the damage that this apocalypse had brought. At the same time though, Liam was also trying to think of a strategy because he couldn’t have lived with himself just going into this completely unprepared.

He could tell that the others were also slightly wary, but not even nearly as much as he was. Niall was holding his hand really tightly still, eventually letting his head rest on the older’s shoulder while Harry and Louis kept asking the man next to them questions, which he answered all without a problem or hesitation. Either they had all learned that story really well or they were speaking the truth, but it was just in Liam’s nature really to expect that it was probably the first.

The drive did indeed turn out to be about twenty minutes, mostly because it appeared that they had made a way for themselves beforehand, moving aside all the abandoned cars and whatnot so that they’d have it easier getting around the city. Liam knew when they arrived because they drove past two people looking heavily armed and already his stomach dropped yet again. 

The woman had already told them that their base or whatever was in a hospital, but it appeared that they had multiple buildings and the fact that there seemed to be so many people still while they had been in an airport 20 minutes away thinking that this was the end for them was a little bit crazy to think about.

“You can take your stuff with you of course even though you won’t be needing it any longer. But I understand if it makes you feel safer.” She added the second part because Liam had already completely ignored the first one and taken his backpack with him out of the car once they had gotten out. There were other cars parked next to them as well, caged in by a fence that had only been opened briefly to let them in, guarded by even more people with guns. What had they gotten themselves into?

“We need to see our friend.” Was the first thing Liam said, making sure Niall stayed as close to him as possible because somebody could have been starting to shoot at them from out of a window literally any second. 

“Of course, I’ll take you to him and then we can discuss everything else. If his physical condition doesn’t allow you to-“

“I don’t care about his physical condition, we wanna see him.” Honestly, what was she thinking?

“Li, it’s okay.” Niall half whispered to him, squeezing his hand and trying to calm him down but really, how would Niall know if it was okay or not?

The woman just nodded, studying Liam’s face a bit longer before motioning to them to follow her inside and Liam made sure that he and Niall were last, which of course made Harry roll his eyes as they passed them by, but the brunette honestly didn’t care. He wanted this to work out, he wanted for all of this to be true, but he didn’t wanna die in case it wasn’t.

The thing was though, as much as Liam was trying to stay ready to protect himself and the others, he couldn’t deny that he was slightly distracted once they had walked up a flat of stairs. There weren’t a whole lot of people, but a lot more people than they would have ever expected to see concentrated in one building ever again. Plus, nobody was interested in them, not a little bit even, because they all seemed busy doing stuff, almost as if they were working in a real hospital or something and it was super strange to say the least.

“I’ll just go and check how he’s doing, one second.” When the woman left them standing in the hallway for a moment, Liam had to admit that he had calmed down just slightly even when she went out of view for a minute or two. It was hard not being a little bit infected with how happy Niall seemed to be and though he was clearly trying to suppress his smile, it was just obvious that he was about to literally burst when the woman came back. “Alright, he’s awake, everything’s good so far, come on.”

 _So far_ didn’t exactly sound too promising, but maybe Liam needed to stop questioning every single word coming out of this stranger’s mouth. They walked down a few more aisles, taking so many turn that Liam wasn’t even sure if he’d find a way back outside this building anymore in case they needed to, but it turned out that they probably didn’t. 

Up until the very moment where they entered the room Zayn was supposedly in, Liam doubted that he was still even alive, much less in here, but his feelings of worry and doubt disappeared within less than a second when he locked eyes with his friend. 

“Zayn!” Niall let go of Liam’s hand in favor of half running over to the bed Zayn was half sitting on, hugging the older boy in a kinda awkward way because of the position they were in, but it still made Liam’s heart swell. Fuck, he was so relieved right now, he could have cried. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry.”

“I’m doing alright, don’t worry. I’m so glad they found you guys, I really wasn’t sure if they’d be able to convince Liam to come.” Zayn smiled, but he looked a bit rough once they came closer and he hugged Louis and Harry and finally Liam, who couldn’t really think of the words to say to properly apologize. 

“Z, I’m so sorry we left, we should have come back for you, I-“

“I’m glad you didn’t and you don’t have to be sorry. I told you to run, didn’t I? And I’ll be fine, these people are super nice, I’m pretty sure they can get you guys back home.” He said it while looking at Niall with a smile on his face and Liam threw a look back at the door only to realize that the woman had simply left them alone as if she trusted them to not just run away. Or she didn’t care if they did, either of those options was a good one. 

“Well, she said she _hopes_ that they can get us back home… but what happened after we left?” Liam needed to know even if it probably wouldn’t ease his guilt in the slightest. He leaned against the bed where Niall had sat down, keeping his arm around the boy and Niall almost immediately leaned more into him.

“Well, they kept shooting at me but eventually gave up because there were too many infected, so I got myself into a house and hoped that they wouldn’t come looking for me. It was the group I was with, in case you guys didn’t notice, but yeah… obviously they came for me, but it took them a whole while actually. I thought they’d either kill me or I’d bleed to death anyways, but… then this van showed up and people with guns and shit and…. they took us all back here and they helped me and eventually once I noticed that they were exactly who we have been looking for, I told them about you guys and where you have gone and stuff so they could get you here as well. By the way, remember when that old woman at the hotel told Harry to go to Toronto? Turns out they have so many supplies because they get them from here.” Wait… 

“So they know they could stay here but they are choosing to stay at that hotel? And why couldn’t they have just told us all that?” Honestly, Liam had no reason to be angry, but he still kinda was because… what the hell?

“They wanna stay at their hotel, they’re old people. And I guess they didn’t tell us because they didn’t think we’d believe them, or maybe they thought we’d rob them or something if we knew that they’d get more supplies in a week or so anyways.” Zayn shrugged, obviously not caring all that much, but Liam noticed his face scrunching up just slightly when he moved his leg underneath the blanket. 

“Hold on, you said the people who shot you are also here?” Harry asked and Liam hadn’t even noticed that Zayn had told them that because he hadn’t really considered that it was a possibility, because… what the fuck?!

“Yeah, but like… I already talked to them, it’s not like… I mean, I don’t know if they really would have killed me, like… and they couldn’t have just left them there obviously, they are out searching for survivors every day, but the people here promised me they’d deal with it and that I’d never have to see them again. Also, as soon as we all realized that we were basically getting rescued… things kinda changed.” It was beyond Liam how Zayn could have just forgiven these guys and not cared one bit that they were somewhere here as well, probably still with Niall’s backpack, but there wasn’t really anything he could have done against it, was there?

Before they could have discussed any of this in more detail though, the woman from before came back with someone else, who was definitely dressed like a doctor, but there really was no way to tell whether she was or not

“I promise you can all have some more time to catch up with each other soon and to ask questions, but we’d just like to clarify a few things before we get your arm fixed up and I’ll show you where you can get cleaned up. Now, we’d just like to ask a few questions and it’d be really helpful if you could answer them truthfully because we wanna work on getting you guys home as soon as possible.” Somehow, and Liam really didn’t know why, but he yet again had a bad feeling about this.

Still, they all just agreed, but the moment the second woman opened her mouth and asked the very first question, Liam literally felt his stomach drop in the most uncomfortable way possible. “Have any of you been bitten by one of the infected people?”

It was only then that Liam realized that being immune maybe wasn’t the best thing that had happened to him and Niall after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii :) I hope you all had a good week and if not i hope this one will be better!
> 
> i also hope you all enjoyed the chapter and id love to know what guys thought! i put 13 chapters for now but there MIGHT be a bit more i just gotta see how it goes! 
> 
> i am already planning what to write next and im going to go back to look through the comments on my last fic again where everyone wrote what they would like to read, but please feel free to share your ideas/wishes/suggestions here as well! :)
> 
> !Also important for the next update! I will either upload the next chapter a day early or just earlier on Friday bc I'm actually meetin Niall on Friday so I won't be home until late! :)


	12. Home

Niall’s heart was beating really fast as a result to the question they had been asked and he was about to open his mouth, just tell the truth because he saw no reason in lying, even if it could have gotten them into trouble. What he should have definitely expected though was his boyfriend being a lot quicker than him, tightening his arm around the blonde as if to tell him to just go with it.

“We wouldn’t be here all healthy in case we’d been bitten, right?” Liam asked as if it was obvious, as if none of them had been bitten or even just scratched, as if they were just unknowing people who had just happened to survive until now. 

Niall felt himself getting even more nervous though after the brunette had spoken up because he was kinda afraid of these people getting angry at them for lying or something and then maybe they wouldn’t wanna help them anymore. Although, they were also helping the people who had almost killed Zayn and it wasn’t for them to decide who to help, right? Like, if this really was a government institution then they were obliged to help everyone. At least that’s what Niall told himself.

“Well… not necessarily.” It seemed that they had bought Liam’s question, sharing a look before the woman dressed in doctor’s clothes came a bit closer. “We would still like to do a blood test on all of you just to be sure.”

“But we’re fine, we have no symptoms, we’re all healthy.” Of course Liam wouldn’t just say yes, he’d ask them to explain every single thing to him and though Niall would have probably never done that himself, he knew where his boyfriend was coming from and he was really thankful that he was looking out for all of them. Still, Niall also wished that Liam would have had an easier time to just relax and trust people after all the signs were pointing to them actually being honest with them. 

“Yes, but you have been outside for months and I really don’t want to scare you, but you could all potentially carry the virus after being exposed for so long even if it’s unlikely.” Shit, well, Niall and Liam were absolutely _screwed_. 

“So, what, we could still infect other people or what?” Liam sounded quite aggressive while asking, probably because he wanted to show them that he wouldn’t allow them to just do something to them or maybe also because he was afraid of them taking their blood and finding out that both he and Niall had been bitten. “So what about all the other people who you have sent home then? They’ve been exposed as well.”

“I’m not saying that just because you’ve been here for so long that you could never go back home or that you will infect other people. But you have to understand that we need to make sure and it is only a blood draw, we can do it in here, it’s no big deal at all.” The woman explained it rather nicely and Niall somehow trusted her, he was just afraid of what would happen if she saw their healing scars.

“If you gotta take our blood anyways why’d you ask if any of us has gotten bit?” A good question, although it did make Liam sound slightly suspicious, something which Niall immediately noticed when the two strangers shared a very brief but definitely noticeable look. Shit. 

“Precautions. I suggest we just get it over with so that we can treat that wound on your arm as quickly as possible.” Right, Liam was still bleeding through the bandages and actually, Niall would have preferred had they treated Liam first before doing anything else, but he just knew that the brunette would have never spoken up or asked for any help. Plus, he had been shot on the same arm that he had been bit on, so maybe it was a better idea to just wait until they had given their blood.

They all agreed to it after Zayn briefly threw in that they had already taken his blood before as well and though that didn’t really mean anything, it’s not like they really had a choice. Liam had no problem making them use his other arm without the scar because they didn’t wanna make him move his injured one, but Niall had to be really subtle about which sleeve he pushed up, all the while feeling like a criminal or something. Maybe it was stupid as hell after everything he had done and seen, but his stomach still turned when the needle entered his arm and he held tighter onto Liam with his free hand, trying to focus on breathing more evenly.

“Okay, good, thank you for cooperating, we’ll have the results as soon as possible. I could show you all where you can get cleaned up now if you want? And I can take you somewhere to get your arm treated.” The woman directed the last part at Liam and Niall just knew exactly what the brunette was thinking about them all splitting up without him even saying anything at all. 

“I’ll go with you.” Niall half whispered to Liam though everyone else had probably heard him as well, but Liam still looked at him, studying his face for a bit before looking at Harry and Louis and it was absolutely impossible to know what was going through his mind right now. 

“I wanna see where you’re taking the others first.” Liam decided in the end and though Harry rolled his eyes at this statement, which Liam simply ignored, Niall actually thought that it was a good idea and the woman seemed to have no problem with it anyways.

Of course they had to leave Zayn behind for all this because he couldn’t really move, but the boy just waved them off when they told him they’d be back as soon as possible. He seemed pretty comfortable here and he had been here for a while so Niall tried to take that as a good sign although the question before about them having been bit was kinda dragging down his mood. Like, he was aware that they hadn’t guaranteed them that they would be able to go back home or anything, so obviously there had to be a reason that they would deny them to leave and… if that reason was them having been bitten then Niall had no idea how to cope with that. 

So for now, he tried to just be somewhat calm and not make himself too many hopes although he kinda had a hard time not blurting out with questions about when exactly they could talk to their families. Niall would just have to trust that they were alive for now, he knew that they had other concerns as well but like… all he had wanted ever since all this had started was to talk to his family, so it was hard being so close to it and yet having no security. 

While they were again walking through the hallways, Niall tried to get Liam to relax a little bit, holding his hand really tightly and offering something like a smile whenever they looked at each other, but he wasn’t really sure whether it helped. The most surprising thing that happened to them ever since being taken here was probably finding out that they had functioning showers and also that they hadn’t been told jokes about getting cleaned up. 

Harry and Louis seemed absolutely thrilled of course and Niall would have maybe envied them had he not been wanting to stay with Liam. No shower in the world could have brought the blonde to let Liam go out of his sight and also, he was pretty sure Liam wouldn’t have let him anyways. Losing each other was the very worst thing that could have possibly happened at this point, they had been through it once, there was no need risking it another time for a stupid shower.

So instead, Niall went with Liam as they were being led to another room, an examination room by the looks of it, the woman just leaving them there after telling them she’d send someone in in a few minutes to get Liam’s arm fixed up.

“What are you doing?” Niall had sat down next to Liam on the examination table, wanting to stop the brunette from moving the bandage on his arm.

Liam didn’t answer, instead he simply scrunched his face up in pain when he got his fingers bloody from touching the wound or something and before Niall could have asked what he was doing, he already knew. The brunette was smearing the blonde down his arm and over the healing bite further down so that no one would see it and everyone would just think the wound had been bleeding all over him. It kinda had, just not enough. 

“Okay, stop, don’t touch it anymore, no one can see it.” The blonde grabbed a hold of Liam’s wrist after he was done covering the bite up enough, not wanting him to hurt himself or get even more germs into his wound. “How much does it hurt?”

“Barely, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Liam’s standard answer even though his face had just said something completely different a moment ago. “I just hope they get this done quickly.”

“Yeah… do you think that, um… that they’ll find anything in our blood? And that it’s gonna keep them from sending us back home? And what if they find out we’ve been bitten and then they get angry and-“

“Ni, they won’t, okay? I promise. They would have already gotten angry a long time ago otherwise because I wasn’t exactly the nicest… if they find anything in our blood then we’ll just talk about it, but if they don’t that means that we’re completely fine and no one has to know we’ve been bitten, okay? Either ways, I don’t think it’d change anything about us going home or not.” Right, because Liam didn’t actually think that they would get home, and Niall didn’t either, but why would these people just blatantly lie?

“I just hope they were being serious about getting in touch with our families… and friends.” Niall quickly added the last part when he realized how stupid what he had said had been, like, in front of Liam, just rubbing it into his face. “Sorry, I didn’t-“

“It’s okay, babe. I really hope they’ll get in touch with them too. I’m gonna ask right when we’re done here, okay?” Liam didn’t seem upset in the slightest, he just smiled at the blonde before unexpectedly leaning in to kiss him and though somebody could have come in at any moment, Niall of course didn’t reject him. 

They had to wait for a little bit longer than a few minutes and Niall could tell that Liam was getting slightly anxious, so he did try to open the door at some point, just to make sure they hadn’t been locked in or anything, but they could have literally just left if they had wanted to. Also, there was nothing strange about this room, nothing hidden in the cupboards or anything, so their paranoia slightly seized.

When somebody finally came, they were being equally as nice as the other people they had met so far and Niall would have relaxed had he not been absolutely terrified of Liam getting hurt, which was inevitable of course because they had to cut the bandage off and everything, but it just pained the blonde to see the tiniest bit of discomfort in his boyfriend’s face.

“Alright… what exactly happened here?” The man asked while inspecting the wound and Niall tried not to look, instead just holding Liam’s free hand between both of his, allowing the brunette to apply as much pressure as he wanted. Anything that could have potentially helped him really. 

“A bullet, like, grazed me. Last night.” Liam explained, his voice sounding a little strained and Niall felt his heart speeding up.

“This is going to need stitches.” The doctor informed him and maybe that weren’t exactly terrible news but they kinda were to Niall, because what if they hadn’t gotten here? Would the wound have gotten infected? Would Liam have potentially died from it?

Other than Niall, Liam didn’t seem to care all too much, he threw a look at the blonde while the doctor had gotten up to get some things, rubbing his thumb over Niall’s knuckles, as if the younger boy was the one who needed the comfort. There was no bloody way Niall would be able to watch this procedure so he just pressed his lips against Liam’s good shoulder before resting his head there, telling himself that it would be alright, that Liam could take it.

Honestly, the blonde felt like he was being a bit of a drama queen here because literally, Liam maybe only flinched once or twice and it only lasted for a few minutes before his arm was bandaged up once more and the doctor offered him something to clean himself up with, which of course the brunette couldn’t do. 

“Alright, we should probably change the bandages tomorrow, but you’ll be fine, it might just leave a scar.” Niall only lifted his head again when he heard the man getting up, slowly risking a look at Liam’s arm and then his face, but his boyfriend seemed to be completely fine. “Now… can you find your way back on your own? I need to go and check on someone else.”

“Yeah, sure… thank you.” It was weird just being left alone, but then again, it surely made Niall feel safer because that also meant that these people didn’t actually care where they went and it also seemed to relax Liam. 

“How’s your arm feel now? Did it hurt a lot?” Niall had hopped down from the examination table as soon as they were alone, standing in between Liam’s slightly spread legs instead to get a better look even though there was nothing to see except the bandages and dried blood on his skin. 

“It feels alright, it just burned a bit but he numbed the area I think, I wasn’t really looking.” The brunette shrugged, seemingly feeling a lot better now because instead of rushing them back to go find the others, he actually wrapped his good arm around Niall, pulling him in closer until he could kiss his cheek, and then again just because. “I’m starting to feel a little bit better about this place.”

“Yeah?” Niall was thrilled to hear that because if Liam thought this place was alright then it kinda had to be, right? 

“Yeah… I’m still not sure whether they’ll actually be able to help us, but at least we’re a lot safer here than anywhere outside. I mean… we’re all still together and alive and well, that’s something even if everything else fails, right?” The way Liam said it was almost as if he was trying to prepare Niall in case things wouldn’t go as planned, which was fine, because the blonde was trying hard to realize that himself.

Instead of answering right away, Niall just looked at Liam for a moment before wrapping his arms around the older’s neck, trying to be careful because of his wound but at the same time just wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible. “I love you, Li… and no matter what happens or doesn’t happen, as long as we’re together I’m gonna be fine. Even if it’ll take me a bit to get over it.”

“You’re so cute, babe.” Liam chuckled softly as he hugged Niall back, kissing the side of the younger’s head and before the blonde could have complained about Liam not saying it back, Liam seemed to have read his mind. “I love you too, Nialler, and I really hope everything will work out and that you’ll get to talk to your family as soon as possible.”

Niall didn’t know what to answer so he just held on tighter to the brunette, burying his face in between his own arm and Liam’s neck, fighting back tears. There was no reason to cry right now really, but after yesterday’s disappointment, Niall was still a bit emotional. But at least Liam’s wound was treated and at least they were all fine and together and considering everything that had happened in the past few months, this was actually one of Niall’s happiest days. 

 

\----------------------

 

“If you gotta go to the bathroom then I’m definitely not helping you.” Louis made sure to tell Zayn while watching him drink some water from a bottle that had been sealed before, because Liam had made sure to check. “You’re just gonna have to piss yourself, I guess.”

“And then you’re gonna sleep in here after everything smells of piss?” Zayn lifted an eyebrow at the other boy and Louis seemed to question his choices a little bit all of a sudden. 

“I’ll just request a new room, they gave Niall and Liam a room for themselves as well.” True, but only because they couldn’t have fit all of them in Zayn’s, something which Liam would have probably started a fight over a while ago, but by now it was literally whatever.

An hour or so had passed since he had gotten his arm fixed and they had all showered and gotten new clothes before gathering in Zayn’s room once more to answer even more questions. This time, the questions didn’t make Liam’s hair stand on end because they were asking information so that they could somehow try to contact their families for them but also making sure that they knew that it could take a while. 

Also, their blood results hadn’t gotten in yet and Liam tried to use the time that they were all just hanging out here by themselves to come up with a plan in case these people found out that he and Niall had gotten bitten. It wasn’t easy to think of something because Liam had no idea what that would even mean or what the consequences would be and it was scary as hell just sitting there waiting for someone to come into the room.

They were allowed to leave and go wherever they pleased, but neither of them had a desire to go anywhere at all and Zayn couldn’t have walked anyways so they were all just in here, eating the food they had been given. Maybe Liam would have tried to keep Niall from eating it, but most of the stuff had never been opened before and also… what would the point have been in trying to kill them now?

“… glad their room is two doors away, I don’t wanna know what they’re doing all alone if they can’t even hold back next to other people.” Oh god, now this was starting again.

“We didn’t have sex next to Zayn, okay? We did nothing besides kiss.” Well, and get off together, but Liam wasn’t going to say that obviously. It was so strange though, arguing about this while everyone was just sitting down in clean clothes and everything, actually having reached their goal after such a long time. 

“Okay, but you literally had cum stains on your shirts the whole day long, we just didn’t say anything because you’ve been bit and we all felt bad and thought you were gonna die.” Right. 

“Don’t say that so loud.” Liam tried to switch the topic, slightly embarrassed even though Niall didn’t seem to be at all for some reason. The blonde was just lying down with his head on Liam’s lap, eating probably his fifth chocolate bar. 

“What are you gonna do if they find out you lied?” Zayn was the one who asked, but he had lowered his voice at least and Liam didn’t really know how to react because he didn’t wanna freak out the blonde so he made sure to keep on running his fingers through Niall’s hair without a break.

“Nothing, we’ll just listen to what they have to say. I mean, I didn’t lie, I never said we haven’t been bit.” Also, they weren’t a threat to anybody, were they? Otherwise the other three would have also already gotten infected by them or they would have experienced some kinda symptoms, but it had almost been a month since Liam had gotten bitten and probably twice as much for Niall, so… “I don’t think they’re gonna find anything in our blood if I’m being honest, it’s been too long. Also, I wanna see if they’ll really manage to get in contact with our families first before I consider telling them anything at all.”

“I think they will, why else would they have told us that or asked us for all that information? Like, say they were trying to kill or eat us, why keep up that façade? I couldn’t even run away anyways.” Zayn seemed completely convinced that these people were speaking the truth, which was nice to hear because he had been the one doubting that they’d find anything in Toronto from the very beginning.

Much like Liam, but maybe slightly more extreme. “At least we don’t have to be scared about infected in here.”

“I stopped being scared of them weeks ago.” It was true, the infected had become their smallest problem, not only because they had met less and less over time but also because they had never really run into a lot of them at once. Except that one time at that barn where they had met Zayn, but that felt like years in the past to Liam. “We should still keep our weapons close, just in case.”

“We are, Liam, but we won’t need them, I can promise you that. The only bad thing that can happen now is they’ll tell us they won’t be able to get us home. Which, by the way, how would they even do that anyways? Like… were there planes at the airport when you went there?” Zayn’s concern seemed pretty valid, Liam hadn’t actually thought this far yet. 

“Yeah, but it looked like they’ve been in the same spot for ages. Then again, who knows? Also, maybe there are other people here who they’d send home as well, I’d just really like to know what a reason would be for them to refuse sending us home…. Are you gonna finish that?” Harry interrupted himself, pointing at something Louis had been eating and the other boy rolled his eyes but he did eventually hand it over to his boyfriend. The normality of this whole situation was just so bloody weird to Liam it was almost freaking him out. “At least they have some good food if we gotta stay here forever.”

Liam looked down to share a look with Niall at that, just to see if the blonde was doing alright from all this talk about them possibly having to stay here, but the younger boy seemed fine, he just continued eating, offering the last piece of his chocolate bar to Liam. Liam made sure the blonde ate it instead because they had pretty much been starving for months now and though he of course didn’t want his boyfriend to get sick from all the food, they all had a lot to catch up on. 

“If we do all get home and Zayn gets to be with his family in London, are we still all gonna hang out or would it bring back too many bad memories?” Out of everything, this was the weirdest question Louis could have asked and it did make Liam think for a moment. 

“I honestly think we’re gonna need some kinda therapy if we do get back home. Like, yeah, it’d be the best thing ever, but imagine waking up tomorrow and just having to pick up your normal life again with no one around you knowing what you went through.” Liam couldn’t actually imagine being back at his own apartment with his dog, waking up in the morning to go to work and coming home and just having a fixed schedule, eating whenever he wanted to, being clean all the time… it had started to sound like a fairytale. Also, Liam was pretty sure that those dreams wouldn’t just disappear and neither would the fear or the memories. 

“Is this you telling me you never wanna see me again if we get back home?” Obviously Louis was joking, but there also seemed to be some kinda truth in it because after all it didn’t seem too unlikely. 

“No, I just… I think it’s hard to talk about that right now without even know whether we CAN go back and then if we could… who knows what it’s gonna be like.” Right, Liam probably shouldn’t have worded it that way because it suddenly made Niall sit up and the brunette didn’t have to guess why. 

“So you’re not sure if you still wanna see me if we’re home?” Niall sounded both shocked and hurt and Liam wanted to slap himself across the face right now. 

“I wasn’t talking about you, Nialler, you know that. I was talking about-“

“But you just said we can’t know what happens or how we’d feel, so how would you even know?” Great, now the blonde was upset, leaning back just slightly when Liam reached out for him but enough so that the older boy let his arm sink. “What’s the difference between seeing me or any of the others? We’d all remind you of the last few months.”

“Niall, I never even said that I don’t wanna hang out with the others anymore, so why do you think I wouldn’t wanna be with _you_ anymore? I love you and I told you so many times that no matter what happens I’m still gonna be there and I wouldn’t even dream of breaking up with you if we get home.” They had already talked about this multiple times, but Liam knew that it was his fault for saying what he had just said and he truly hated himself for it. It’s just, things had changed so quickly and they had gone from having absolutely no plan at all to possibly getting the only thing they really wanted. “I’m sorry about what I said, baby. I didn’t mean it like that.”

The blonde didn’t answer, he just stared at Liam and the brunette had kinda completely forgotten that they weren’t alone in here when Niall simply reached out to hug him in a kinda awkward position, but it was fine as long as he wasn’t upset anymore. Them fighting now was the very last thing Liam would have wanted and even just arguing was pushing it because there was absolutely no reason to.

Luckily for them, the others seemed to decide that this small argument wasn’t worth commenting or making fun of, but Liam was most happy about Niall snuggling back into his side after letting go of him. They all silently agreed that changing the topic was probably the best choice and Liam had no bloody idea how, but they ended up playing Never Have I Ever, which for once actually ended with laughter rather than uncomfortable silence. 

 

\---------------------------

 

“I know I shouldn’t be complaining… but these beds are uncomfortable as hell.” Niall half mumbled into the darkness and Liam couldn’t help but chuckle, momentarily loosening his grip on the blonde, allowing him to change his position. 

“Have you never been in a hospital bed before?” They had pushed the beds together and Liam had also made sure that the door was blocked because they weren’t with the other three and though it was really tempting for both of them to sleep, Liam wasn’t quite sure if it was a good idea.

“As a child, but I can’t really remember that… it’s still a ton better than the ground, I just imagined something better I guess.” The younger boy snuggled closer into Liam, yawning quietly against his neck and Liam held him tighter again, making sure the blankets stayed around them. 

It wasn’t that late but it was dark outside and they had done nothing all day long except for sitting in Zayn’s room eating and talking, sometimes some stranger had come in to talk to them or to answer questions, but there were no news about their blood results or their families. Maybe it was better this way, for them to first get settled in a little bit because Liam doubted that they would be able to send them home within a day anyways, it’d probably take weeks, if not months. He just hoped that Niall was aware of that as well.

“You smell good.” It was true, they had gotten cleaner than ever today and put on new clothes and Niall smelled just like himself now, his hair smelling like the shampoo that they had been given. 

“You too… I hope we’ll never have to smell like dirt and sweat for months straight again.” Niall kinda made it sound like a joke, but Liam really hoped so as well. “Although, I’ve gotten really used to it, to all of it, also the not sleeping and not eating. I probably just gained about 12 pounds today.”

“That would be a good thing though, although I’m surprised that you didn’t get sick or anything.” They hadn’t eaten like that in forever and Liam had felt himself feeling a bit weird after a while. 

“I did feel a bit sick a few hours ago, I just didn’t say anything because I knew you would have made me stop eating and I really didn’t want to.” When Niall confessed, Liam at first thought about getting worried, but then he instead rolled his eyes before holding the blonde even tighter, getting his fingers to where the blonde’s ribs were and tickling him just lightly, getting a much bigger reaction than thought. “Liam, stop!”

“What, you’re that ticklish?” It was amusing Liam beyond anything because they had never been together like this, so carefree and full of hope and it was the best thing ever.

“Yes?!” The blonde sounded a bit breathless, wiggling in the older’s arms and Liam playfully poked him one more time before letting him be, pressing his lips against the younger’s forehead while he chuckled softly. “It’s not funny, Liam.”

“I think it’s a little bit funny. You’re so bloody cute.” He really was and Liam just knew without even looking at his boyfriend that he had gotten all blushed and that only caused him to be overcome by yet another wave of fondness for the blonde.

“I’m-“

Before Niall could finish, there suddenly was a knock on the door, not too loud but definitely loud enough for both of them to flinch and Liam sat up immediately, reaching for his knife. “I’ll go check, stay in the bed.”

“Liam… “ Niall whispered, probably trying to stop him, but Liam had already slipped out of the bed anyways, being hit by coldness and fear.

He knew there was no real reason to be afraid, but he still didn’t just unblock the door without waiting for a moment, another knock. “Yes?”

“Can I come in? I’ve got some good news for you guys.” It was definitely one of the women that they had met today, they had introduced themselves at some point, but there had been too many people for Liam to remember all their names. She did sound genuine and honest though and there was no reason for Liam to deny her access, so… 

He turned the light on before unblocking the door, as quietly as somehow possible, not fully opening the door though before he saw that the woman was alone and not holding any weapons or looking otherwise threatening. “What are the news?”

“Actually, they are for Niall.” She explained once Liam had let her in, making sure he was back by the bed before her though he probably could have saved himself the trouble. “We managed to get in touch with your family and if you’d like, you can speak to them.”

“I… _what?!_ Seriously, you… they’re alive?!” Neither Liam nor Niall could really take any of that fully in at first, they shared a look and Liam could already see the tears building up in the younger’s eyes so he reached out for his hand, squeezing a bit as he felt a smile forming on his face. “Yes, I wanna speak to them, I… can I? Now?”

“Definitely, that’s why I came, they know I’m going to call back in a moment, but you could do that if you want.” Honestly, Liam shouldn’t have been surprised upon seeing her handing a normal phone to Niall, they had also gotten electricity back to working in here, but he could still barely believe it. “I already pressed call.”

Liam sat next to Niall on the bed, watching the younger’s face as he held the phone to his ear, very visibly holding his breath and a single tear tripping down his cheek that Liam made sure to catch with his free hand. Kinda unnecessarily though because more followed just a second later when Niall almost squealed. “ _Mom?!_

The brunette hadn’t even noticed how close he had been to tears himself, he only realized once he felt them on his skin as he watched his boyfriend pulling his hand out of Liam’s to cover his mouth in shock. This was everything Liam had wanted for the boy, everything they had been working towards pretty much ever since they had met and to have that kinda security about their families still being alive and well at home… it was overwhelming.

“Y-Yes… it r-really is m-me… “ Niall sobbed into the phone, leaning into Liam when the older boy wrapped an arm around his shoulders for support, kissing the top of his head. “Y-Yes… I’m f-fine, I… I’m s-safe… y-yes… “

Liam had no idea what they were talking about obviously, but just the fact that they were gave him more hope than ever. These people hadn’t lied to them, they weren’t trying to trick them or kill them, they genuinely were trying to help and even if they didn’t manage to do anything else, they had already done enough now for Liam to feel about 100 times better. Yes, he wanted to talk to his sister and his friends, but now that he knew that they were all alive 100%, he could feel a huge weight being lifted off of his chest. 

The blonde had gone over to full on crying, his words barely recognizable to Liam after a while, but he was just filling his mom in and asking her a ton of questions and at one point, he did all of a sudden mention Liam and the brunette could feel his stomach drop a little bit. 

“Y-Yeah… his n-name’s L-Liam… he s-saved my l-life… “ Niall told his mother and Liam could feel his heart swell a bit and yet at the same time he suddenly had flashbacks to when they had first met, when he had held that gun to Niall’s head and how he had left the others behind and Niall had stumbled upon him again by sheer coincidence. All this seemed to be part of a different life now. 

Niall continued talking about Liam for a bit, telling his mother about him and at some point he leaned back just to look at the brunette with a smile and Liam kissed his forehead, rubbing his boyfriend’s back. All of this kinda felt like a dream of some sort, but Liam was sure it wasn’t one because he hadn’t had a single pleasant dream in months now and he was pretty sure his brain wouldn’t have even been capable of making one up anymore. 

The blonde talked to his family for ages, which was understandable of course, and when he hung up he only did it after the woman had promised him that he could call again any time he wanted. “Don’t worry, we’re working on making sure you get to go home. I also told the same to the other boys a while ago when I let… I think Louis? When I let Louis speak to his family as well. I’ll immediately tell you once we reached your sister, Liam.”

“Thank you. Seriously, I… I never would have thought that you’d genuinely be able to get in touch with anybody, much less our families.” Or that they were still alive, that they hadn’t been lied to about the rest of the world being just fine and if Liam was being completely honest, he still couldn’t quite believe it. 

“I know, but it’s fine, you’re not the first one being suspicious obviously. And you guys have been out there even longer than anybody else who we have taken in so far, I just really hope more people will find their way here.” She had told them already that this wasn’t the only city doing this and there definitely would have been closer ones while they had been walking, but it wasn’t like it still mattered now, right?

After Liam had chatted with her for another few minutes and she had jokingly commented the barricading of the door before leaving, Niall was still crying happy tears into the brunette’s shoulder. Of course Liam had heard everything the blonde had said on the phone, what he had talked about with his family, but he hadn’t heard the response.

“Is everyone in your family okay?” Liam asked after a while of just rubbing Niall’s back, trying not to rush him or anything.

“Yeah… everyone’s good. And everything at home is just like it was… they all thought I was dead and I just… I can’t believe that I actually talked to them, it’s been months and… thinking about it now it’s a miracle we made it here, isn’t it? So many things happened and we almost died so many times… “ True, Liam could barely believe it himself and maybe he never would. “I can’t believe they’re alive.”

“I’m so happy you got to talk to them, babe.” The brunette wrapped his second arm around Niall as well until they were hugging, letting his head rest against the younger boy’s as he rocked them a bit.

Now there were only two more things to get over with, their blood results and finding out whether they’d be able to go home or not.

 

\-------------------------

 

The next day went exactly like the other one and Liam felt slightly stupid for having fallen asleep at some point, randomly waking up in the morning with Niall fast asleep on his chest. Obviously nothing had happened and no one had come in, all their stuff was still there and Liam managed to calm down again a few minutes later, just lying there and letting the blonde sleep for probably another hour.

Afterwards they went to hang out with the others again, discussing the phone calls and everything and Niall got a bit sick again from eating too much, so this time Liam made sure to stop him at some point. The thing was though, although all this was quite nice and relaxing and stuff, Liam felt quite anxious at the same time, but he kept it to himself because he didn’t wanna stress Niall out, especially after everything had gone so well last night.

Still, the inevitable had to happen of course, and it didn’t really help all TOO much that everyone besides Liam had been able to talk to their family already. It’s not that he thought his sister didn’t wanna speak to him or anything, it just added to his anxiety because like… what if something had happened to her? It had been months since they had seen each other, something completely unrelated to all this mess could have happened and Liam might have never known. 

All this was kinda pushed into the back of his head though when they were being informed that their blood samples had been looked at and Liam’s stomach literally dropped. 

“You three… you’re all clear, your blood is fine.” Already when the doctor said that, vaguely gesturing towards Harry, Louis and Zayn, Liam knew exactly what was about to come when he looked up from reading his notes. “And you two… Niall and Liam? I need you to come with me.”

“For what?” Liam asked while very slowly getting up, Niall visibly shaking a little bit next to him as he did the same. Oh god, what if after everything had gone so well they’d now be told that they would have to stay here forever?

“Just to talk, nothing else. Maybe take another sample.” The doctor didn’t seem like a threat or as if he was planning on doing anything to them, he actually looked a little bored, as if he had done this way too many times. “It’ll only be a few minutes.”

Just because there was nothing they could have done anyways, Liam just nodded before throwing a look at Niall and then at the other three, all of them looking a bit nervous. Somehow though, Liam didn’t have as bad of a feeling about this as before, especially because the doctor seemed not at all freaked out or anything.

So they followed him out of the room, Niall immediately clinging to Liam’s hand and the brunette made sure to offer a smile whenever the blonde looked at him, rubbing his thumb along the younger’s knuckles while they walked down the hallways, not that far away and Liam for once actually managed to remember the way.

“Alright, just sit down wherever you want.” They entered what appeared to be an office or something and Liam suddenly felt like they were just in a completely normal hospital, just because everything in here didn’t at all look as if an apocalypse had happened. Liam wasn’t at all surprised when Niall almost sat on top of him again and the other man didn’t even seem to notice. “So… after looking at your blood sample quite thoroughly, you two have either been severely exposed to the virus somehow or you have been bitten.”

“Does that mean we could infect others and can’t go back home?” Niall immediately blurted out with his question, so it was really nice that the doctor answered without hesitation.

“No, otherwise we wouldn’t just let you move around freely in here. It’s not affecting you nor will it affect anyone else, the only reason we couldn’t send you back home would be if we had found anything that could be a potential danger to you or others, but you’re both healthy. For research purposes though, I’d still be interested in hearing what happened.” Okay, well, Liam could probably deal with that after hearing the good news.

“I was bitten, on my arm about… a month ago, it was only superficial.” Liam temporarily let go of Niall’s hand to move up his sleeve and show the doctor the healing scar. It really didn’t look bad at all, it might as well have been an animal bite. “Um… we thought that I would start to develop symptoms, but nothing ever happened. We put a lot of disinfectant on it though and Niall… Niall cut his arm to somehow try and save me with his blood because we’ve known he’s immune for quite a long time.”

“How did you know that?” The doctor was writing down notes while Liam talked and the brunette threw a look at the blonde, silently asking whether he wanted to say it himself and the younger’s voice sounded a bit shaky, but he still did it.

“I was bitten on my arm and my stomach, I thought I’d turn but then three weeks passed and nothing. I don’t really know how long ago that was, but… probably over two months? So yeah… “ Niall shrugged a little after finishing, obviously not sure whether he should have continued or not. “So are we really immune? Did my blood save Liam?”

“No, your blood didn’t save him, it did no harm, but it’s impossible that it made a difference unless you would have given him a complete transfusion beforehand.” Right, so they had just had a lot of luck then? “I mean, it might be possible that any kind of bodily fluids could have an effect on the virus, but we don’t really know anything about that.”

“Oh.” Was all Liam said, suddenly having very vivid flashbacks of sucking the blonde off. 

“Oh?” The doctor asked, clearly confused and the brunette shared a look with Niall, deciding that this was a medical professional, he surely wouldn’t judge them, right?

“Just, um… we did, uh… we kinda had sex a few days before that, so maybe… “ And then Liam awkwardly broke off because what the hell? Why had he just thought that that was a good idea?!

“Possible.” Was all the doctor said, but he did write down some more and Liam suddenly deeply regretted ever speaking up in his entire life. Which was quickly forgotten though when the man opposite them simply continued. “It’s hard to tell why people are immune to the virus, but almost everyone who has come here after the first month or two has been immune.”

“Wait… what?” One second… did that mean… “Are the other three immune as well?”

“It’s actually confidential information, but… yes, they are. As well as that other group that has come in with your friend and everyone who is working in here. Anyone who wasn’t immune would have caught the virus within a month or so and if they didn’t, it would have been highly surprising. Also, due to the constant but minimal exposure, you might have built an immunity as well, it’s hard to tell. Lucky for us though because there still is no cure, so we just gotta wait it out and keep on trying.” The doctor sighed, as if that was the most interesting part of what he had just said, as if he hadn’t just told them that not one of them would have had to be scared about getting bitten or scratched. 

“Wait, so… does that mean we can go home?” Just to be clear here, because that was actually the most important question Liam wanted another clear answer to.

“Regarding your health, yes. It’s more a question of when, they don’t always immediately send planes to evacuate survivors, but we will just have to wait and see. I’m confident though and also very thankful for the information you’ve given me.” He actually smiled at them, as if they were friends or something, as if they hadn’t both been terrified about this only for it turn out to be for research purposes only. “If you have any questions feel free to ask, otherwise you can now return to your room or wherever.”

“Alright…. thank you.” Liam almost got up immediately, pulling the blonde with him because he was almost bursting with excitement about letting the other three in on what they had just learned.

Almost as soon as they had left the room and closed the door behind them, Niall intertwined his fingers with Liam’s once more, a stunned expression on his face. “If all this is true, if almost everyone who is still alive is immune…why didn’t they just tell us that yesterday?”

“I don’t know… maybe they thought it wasn’t important, it does seem like they only take the blood samples for their research and just to be on the safe side. I mean, there could have potentially been something wrong with us so they probably didn’t wanna make us false hopes. It does make sense though… both of us randomly being immune always seemed slightly weird, didn’t it?” On one hand, Liam felt even more relaxed and calm now, on the other hand, the worries about his sister were suddenly coming back all at once. Also, it made him think about his family, his dad especially who had never developed symptoms because he had bled out too quickly… who knew, he might have been immune as well. 

“I guess. And here I was thinking I really saved your life with my jizz.” Niall making a joke now was a little bit unexpected, but it did make Liam laugh after having let it sink in for a moment, leaning over to press his lips against the blonde’s temple. 

It felt quite weird to be this careful, but like, a good kinda weird if that even made any sense. Somehow things just kept turning out in the best way possible after they had been so unlucky since… well, ever since they had met pretty much. 

When they got back to the room, the others seemed really relieved for some reason but at the same time they all hesitated quite a bit before Harry finally spoke up. “So… did they find out? About the bites?”

“Yeah, we told him, but he said we’re fine and we can’t infect anybody else. Oh, and all of us are immune to the virus anyways.” Liam just threw it into the room, biting back a smile and quite enjoying his friends staring at him in confusion. “He said most people are, or built an immunity over time.” 

“Wait, wait. So you’re telling me… you’re telling me we lost all that sleep for nothing?!” Well, seeing it that way… 

“Not really, I mean, just because they can’t infect you doesn’t mean they can’t eat you alive. Also, we were mostly keeping watch because of normal people and not the infected.” Then again… “But I gotta admit, knowing that would have made that day at the barn a lot easier.”

“Doesn’t mean we were already immune back then, that was like, ages ago. Did you tell him about Niall’s magical cum?” Of course Louis had to ask, of fucking course. 

“Yeah, and he said it could have actually been the reason Liam is still here.” Niall just lied straight through his teeth without hesitation and Liam had to bite back another grin, simply letting his arm fall around his boyfriend where they were sitting on the free bed. 

“That’s gonna make a great story in a few years. If we become famous and get invited to interviews and shit, I’ll take dips on telling it.” Louis said it like it was already certain that they would be going home soon, like there was nothing stopping them now and if Liam was being honest, he didn’t really see a reason either.

But there was still one more thing he was waiting for and that was his sister picking up the damn phone. Somehow Liam had a feeling that this conversation wasn’t going to be as filled with happy tears as the others’.

 

\----------------

 

Niall kinda felt like he was high after the blood thing was over, almost as if anything was possible now. His family was well and alive and he’d most likely get to go home again, with Liam and the others and just… after living this hell for so many months, the blonde couldn’t even imagine anymore what it was like to live a normal life. He was slightly worried about going back though, especially because he was still experiencing his nightmares almost every night despite Liam’s presence and just overall, he was aware that his mental health probably wasn’t the greatest.

Also, there were more issues Niall realized would come with them going back home. First, he and Liam lived in different countries, they’d definitely have to spend some time apart once they were back and figuring all this out, hopefully getting settled back in, but then again… did Niall WANT to get settled back in? He wanted to be with Liam more than anything in the world, but Liam had a job and an apartment and a dog and yes, Niall hadn’t ever planned on staying in Ireland forever, but like… his family was there and he hadn’t seen them in what felt like years. Plus, he didn’t even have his degree yet and he had no idea when he’d be finished with his studies after those few months.

Niall also felt like an idiot for thinking about this stuff in so much depth without talking about it to Liam, but the thing was, he couldn’t really bring it up because he knew it made the brunette feel like shit whenever he brought up the word family. Especially because he was the very last one to be able to talk to his sister.

It was late afternoon after they had had that talk with that doctor about their immunity and Niall wasn’t really sure whether Liam wanted him to come with him to their own room so he could talk to his sister alone because Niall didn’t think that the other three even knew about what had happened to Liam’s family. Before the blonde could have asked though, Liam had already kinda thrown a very obvious look at him and he reached for the younger’s hand as soon as Niall had gotten up so the blonde thought that that was a good sign.

This time, they sat on the floor in their room, having been left alone with the phone and Niall stayed quiet while Liam just stared at the number on the screen, hugging the older’s free arm to his chest while leaning his head against Liam’s shoulder. There was nothing else Niall could have done to show him support and he didn’t wanna interrupt whatever was going through Liam’s mind right now or make him feel rushed or anything. 

When he did call though, it was kinda unexpected to hear him speak. 

“Hi, it’s- yeah, I’m good, I’m fine, everything’s okay.” Liam was probably calming his sister down and Niall could only relate too well, he had barely been able to say anything through his mother crying when he had called. “How are things at home?”

Niall just stayed quiet while Liam listened to his sister and asked her basic questions, almost as if he didn’t quite know what to say to her. Of course the blonde knew why that was and what Liam was avoiding and he could feel himself tensing up when the topic between them clearly changed.

“No, um- No, they… they won’t find them, I- No… I don’t know if I should tell you that over the phone… I don’t know, but-… they, um… mom and Ruth, they… they got bitten and… and they turned, I… I had no choice- No, there was nothing anybody could have done, okay? There is no cure, Nici, you know that…. What was I supposed to do? They turned and they weren’t themselves anymore and me and dad had to defend ourselves and… they got him, pretty badly and… he lost a lot of blood and- Are you seriously asking me that question right now?” That didn’t sound good at all. 

The blonde didn’t know what to do, he obviously couldn’t interfere but he sat up a bit more straight, watching Liam’s profile while evenly rubbing his arm, hoping that it would somehow help him to calm down a bit. 

“You genuinely want me to tell you how I killed them?!.... It’s not my bloody fault, you weren’t there, you have no idea what it was like, how can you even say that?.... Honestly, you think I don’t know you wish that you’d rather I was dead and mom and dad were still alive?... Yeah, right, as if I’m gonna believe that… Well, if you’re lucky they won’t ever send us back home again, then you never have to see me again… Whatever. I need to go now- So, what if it’s a lie? I know you’re upset and I’m sorry, but it wasn’t exactly easy for me either and- yeah, bye.” And then that was it.

There was silence between them as soon as Liam had hung up, Niall didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if Liam would have even wanted to so he just very slowly wrapped his arms around the brunette and when there was no resistance, he pulled softly until Liam’s head was resting in the crook of his shoulder. 

The blonde didn’t know what to say or what was going through the older’s head right now, all he knew was that he needed to do _something_. “Li… it’s not your fault, she’s just upset and-“

“Maybe it is my fault, maybe I could have done more, maybe… “ Liam broke off then, taking a shaky breath and Niall barely had any time to prepare himself because he had never seen Liam so broken. “I k-killed them… I-I… s-stabbed t-them…”

“You had no choice, Li, everybody would have done the same in your situation, I… it isn’t your fault, it’s terrible that you had to do it and I wish I could somehow help you forget about it, but I can’t and… I’m so sorry, Liam.” Niall felt tears building up in his own eyes upon hearing Liam cry and usually it was him who was bawling his eyes out in the older’s arms, so being on the other end really showed Niall just how helpless Liam must have felt all those times. 

Liam didn’t say anything else so Niall just made sure to hold him tight because that always helped him as well when he was feeling down. Honestly, he wished he could have called back Liam’s sister to yell at her, but who was he to decide how she should react to hearing that her sister and parents had died? It was an unimaginable situation for the blonde, it just hurt him so much to see Liam that way, he would have done anything at all to make him feel better.

Somehow Niall had waited for the older boy to break down at some point over what had happened, over everything they had been through, but now that he finally had, it was because of a reason Niall had hoped would be a happy experience.

Needless to say, they didn’t join the others anymore that day though Niall went over to get some more food even if Liam refused to eat it. He did stop crying at some point, but he seemed more than happy about Niall just lying in bed with him, spooning him from behind and the blankets keeping them warm. They didn’t talk much, but eventually Liam turned around to look at the blonde and before Niall could have said something, the brunette was already kissing him deeply and desperately.

 

\---------------------

 

Liam didn’t talk to his sister again, not for the whole following week that they spent in the hospital doing nothing at all besides waiting and hoping. Without Niall by his side, Liam was sure he would have long gone insane, maybe he would have even done something impulsive as simply taking off in the middle of the night or letting his frustration out on the others, but the blonde was there for him and Liam didn’t need anything or anybody else really.

A day after Liam’s phone call with his sister, a large group of people reached Toronto, which turned out to be Niall’s old group that had left him behind, but there was no bad blood between them luckily and even better, now that there were so many survivors at the hospital, it sped up the whole process of them being sent home. 

Still, Liam didn’t actually believe that they would get home until the very moment that they got on the plane after the supplies had been loaded off. It was way bigger than they were people, so Niall and Liam ended up somewhere completely by themselves, the brunette honestly thinking he was dreaming once the plane had taken off and they were both looking out of the window, at the damage beneath them that the apocalypse had left. Liam silently prayed that it would be the very last time that they would have to see anything like this.

They were going home and they were going to figure it all out together, after everything they had been through, Liam was certain that there was nothing in this world now that could have come between them and their way back to a normal life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early update because i don't know when i'll have time to otherwise!!!
> 
> so as you can probably tell the fic is coming to an end and i was planning on making the last chapter on them being back at home so i hope you will all wanna read that :D


	13. Fate

Hearing the sound of his alarm made Liam jerk into a sitting position within seconds even after the twelfth time. His hand somehow automatically searched for something to hold onto in order to defend himself and it took a moment before he managed to relax again, try to normalize his breathing and realize he was alone. Well, not completely alone, but seeing as Watson wasn’t really moving or barking from his place on the end of Liam’s bed, there probably was nothing at all to worry about.

Though Liam had thought he would never again have a problem getting up early, he had very quickly realized that that definitely wasn’t the case. It was just as hard as before, everything was, because nothing had changed, not even Liam’s apartment that his sister had been so close to selling before he had gotten home three weeks ago. They were on speaking terms, they had seen each other and talked, but Liam knew it would take time before they would be able to move past this. Maybe forever.

Somehow, things were surprisingly unexciting ever since that plane had landed and Liam had had to say the hardest goodbye in his entire life to Niall. They hadn’t seen each other in three weeks, not in person at least because they had both gone out to get phones the very first day and they were talking every day and texting, but it wasn’t the same. Liam also kept in touch with the other three of course, but because they had all just been trying to get back to their old routines and lives, they hadn’t met up and they only had a groupchat that Louis used the most to send them all memes, which felt kinda surreal to Liam because of the normality of it all. 

Liam had had to beg his way back into his job at his old school and they had only given in a week ago after he had gone to see a psychologist 6 times, and continued to see, and gotten himself tested on probably every single illness possible at the hospital. One thing Liam had done ever since getting back home that he definitely wasn’t proud of was giving an interview on the whole situation and he had only really done it because his bank had frozen all his accounts and it had taken a while before he had been able to get to his money.

Generally, he had had to do a lot of phone calls, like his landlord and his insurance, telling them all that he was indeed alive and not dead like they had all assumed. Now that all this was done though, Liam had nothing to do anymore except for going to work, going to his psychologist, getting pitied by his friends, eating way too big portions of everything and being paranoid as hell 24/7. And of course, missing Niall so bad that it hurt. 

He was trying hard though to get his life back on track on his own, not to forget but to put things into perspective and realize that everything he had done, he had done it to survive and to save the others. And even if they didn’t have full closure on how any of this had happened and why, Liam was trying to live with it, accept that it was in the past and that it hadn’t only brought bad things with it. 

Yes, he wished his whole family was still alive, that the nightmares would stop and the paranoia, that he could live like a normal human being again, but he would never wish he wouldn’t have met Niall. 

 

\----------------------

 

“Okay, does everyone understand that or do you need me to explain it again?” Somehow, the easiest thing for Liam so far had been going back to teaching although the headmaster had been kinda wary the first few days especially because the semester had just started again. It was fine now though and Liam was sure things would only get better with time. 

Liam waited a few seconds to give the kids some time to process the information, he still knew all their names of course and they had been super happy to see him again, giving him drawings and presents and it had almost made him cry. Their happiness was probably partly due to the fact that they had gotten one of the stricter teachers when he had been gone, as they hadn’t been shy about telling him, but it was still nice knowing that he wasn’t doing a terrible job at this teaching thing.

After another moment, one girl in the front row slowly raised her hand, looking kinda shy about it, but Liam still had no idea what he was actually getting himself into when he let her speak up. “Umm… is it true that you killed zombies in America?”

For a second or two, Liam only blinked, glad that he was leaning against his desk or otherwise he might have stumbled backwards. The kids he was teaching were only 8 to 9 years old and he had absolutely no idea how much they knew, if they knew anything at all. By the looks of it, they were all curious though, not just that one girl, and they had probably been too afraid to ask all week long until now. It was Friday and they only had 5 minutes left and Liam knew that he would have to answer this question at some point, so…

“No, I didn’t kill anybody. There are no zombies and there never will be, okay? Zombies aren’t real.” Of course the first part was a complete lie, but Liam wasn’t going to tell children that he had killed so many people that he had lost count. 

“But what happened to the people there? And why didn’t you come back for so long?” Another girl asked from somewhere in the back and usually Liam would have scolded her a bit for just speaking up without raising her hand, but in all honesty, he kinda forgot to do that. 

“They got a bit sick and… I couldn’t come back immediately because the planes weren’t working anymore. But it’s all good now.” While lying, Liam felt shivers going up his arms as he thought about all the people who were still there, all the people who hadn’t been as lucky as him and who would die there. 

“What if it happens here as well?” Almost immediately, the kids all broke out into whispers and Liam had to swallow hard because that was his own biggest fear as well, even if he knew that there was no way. It had been months since the outbreak and the infected were slowly dying, soon no trace would be left of the virus. 

“It’s not going to happen again, I promise, you don’t have to be scared. They have it all under control over there now and it’s going to be just fine, yeah?” Liam knew about all the theories as to what had caused the outbreak, he had been awake a few nights just googling and reading the news, and that had definitely calmed him down a bit, but for the kids, he was going to pretend that it was absolutely impossible that it could ever happen again. “How about we don’t have any homework over the weekend?”

As expected, that caused a lot of happy faces and it seemed that the conversation had already been forgotten, which was what Liam had been aiming to achieve. He made sure everyone started packing up their things because the class was over anyways and Liam just silently watched, making sure to smile though when they all said goodbye to him before leaving until he was the only one left. 

Liam didn’t pack up his own stuff immediately, he needed a few minutes to think about what had just happened and the lies he had told. Afterwards, he made sure to lock the room, saying goodbye to the few colleagues that were still there before slowly starting to leave the building. 

Even though Liam hadn’t really been sure about it at first, he had started driving his car again that his sister’s boyfriend had been using for a while when he had been gone. The parking lot was almost empty by now when Liam walked out of the school, searching for his keys in a side pocket of his backpack while walking towards his car. He was honestly looking forward to getting home, having Watson jump up on him overly excited to see him again, not doing anything for the rest of the day except for calling Niall and talking to him until they both were too tired to keep it up.

The blonde was going back to uni and Liam knew his schedule by heart already and he knew that Niall only had two classes Friday mornings’, so the blonde wouldn’t be busy for the rest of the day other than that. Little did Liam know though that he wouldn’t have to call him after all.

“You’re late.” Upon hearing the voice, Liam promptly dropped his keys that he had just found, immediately feeling his heart speeding up when he looked around to see if it really was who he thought. 

It was.

“Niall… “ Liam didn’t know what to say or how to react, he didn’t even pick up his keys, he just stared at the blonde standing in front of him by his car, his mouth slightly dropped. Shit, it was so fucking good to see him.

“Hi, I thought-“

Before the blonde could have finished, Liam had already pulled him into the tightest hug possible, feeling Niall’s arms immediately wrapping around his neck in return, both of them holding on so tightly to each other that it actually hurt. There were tears building up in Liam’s eyes before he even noticed, being able to hold his boy again, breathe him in and just know that he was safe and alright in Liam’s arm was the most overwhelming feeling ever after three bloody weeks. 

“I love you, I love you so much.” Liam wasn’t thinking, he just blurted out with the very first thing that came to his mind, pressing his face against the younger’s shoulder. “Fuck, I missed you like crazy… “

“I missed you too, Li… and I love you so much as well. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, I was trying to make it a surprise.” The blonde let out a breathless laugh, tightening his arms impossibly much.

“Oh, it definitely is a surprise, Nialler, don’t worry about that. How… how did you even know what my car looks like?” Honestly, Liam had no bloody idea how Niall had pulled that off, he was just so fucking happy that he had. Obviously they had had to wait two weeks before they had been cleared to travel again but this week had been busy and they hadn’t agreed on a date yet or who would visit who and… Liam was just so happy. 

“Remember when Louis randomly asked you to show him your car? I asked him to do that. And I know when you get off of work on Friday’s and what school you teach at because you told me and it wasn’t hard to find at all. I just needed to see you so badly and I couldn’t wait any longer and I don’t have uni again until Tuesday.” Wait… so he was gonna stay?! “I mean… not that I wanna invite myself to stay at your apartment, but-“

“Of course you’re staying with me, babe, you don’t need to even think about that. In what world would I have ever not wanted you to stay with me? We even talked about it.” Multiple times actually, and Liam didn’t know whether he should be worried that maybe Niall had thought that he needed to ask, but it seemed the blonde hadn’t really been too worried anyways.

“I know, I know… just seemed kinda bold simply turning up to someone’s work to stay with them for a few days is all.” Niall shrugged a little bit, as far as possible with Liam holding him so tightly.

“I’m not _someone_ though, I’m your boyfriend.” Liam felt really good about saying it somehow, just because he hadn’t said it for so long and even though he had told his friends about Niall, he hadn’t really seen them a lot. “I’m so glad you came.”

“Me too… “ The blonde mumbled somewhere into Liam’s shoulder and when he started to pull away gently, Liam wanted to resist at first, but then he let him and he definitely didn’t regret it when Niall looked at him for about two seconds before kissing him firmly on the lips.

It felt so good to be this close again that Liam could have honestly cried, suddenly not knowing anymore how he had ever survived being away from the blonde for so long. He had had worries when they hadn’t been home yet, about their relationship and everything, but turned out they had been completely unnecessary. 

Maybe snogging in front of a school wasn’t exactly appropriate, but Liam didn’t really care, one because it was Friday afternoon and the building was almost empty and two, because he wouldn’t ever not wanna kiss Niall, no matter what situation they were in and especially after not having seen each other in so long.

When they finally pulled apart, Liam’s lips were tingling and hot and he left his eyes closed for a bit longer, leaning his forehead against Niall’s and breathing him in, trying to capture the moment for as long as somehow possible even though they wouldn’t have to say goodbye again for another few days. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Niall kissed him again, more slowly and softly this time and Liam cupped the younger’s cheeks just to feel him, make sure he was real, that this wasn’t a dream.

Eventually, they did decide to get into the car and Niall joked about how he had completely forgotten how to drive because his parents didn’t have a car and Liam told him he would teach him, the normality of it all making his stomach tingle. Because it was Friday, Liam kinda had to go to the store even with Niall with him, but the blonde didn’t seem to mind, he seemed rather content just holding Liam’s hand while the brunette was driving, looking out of the window to take everything in while occasionally asking the older boy a question about where things were in his hometown.

“Kinda weird, isn’t it?” The blonde commented while they were going through the store, he had volunteered to hold the basket even though Liam had told him five times that he would do it instead. “Like, just picking out anything we want and only taking one thing at a time.”

“Yeah… I’m not sure how long I’ll need until I get used to it again, but I don’t know if I ever will again.” Liam thought about this every time he went grocery shopping though he tended to avoid bigger stores because it made him feel a little weird, unprotected and paranoid somehow. “Do you want anything special though?”

“Hmmm, no, I’m good, thank you.” Niall answered after some hesitation and just because Liam knew the blonde’s eyes had been stuck a bit too long on the cereals, he asked him to pick out some for breakfast. 

All this felt so nice and normal and every time Liam looked at Niall or the blonde reached for his hand or threw him a smile, the brunette kinda wanted to burst out into tears just because he was so fucking happy. It wasn’t at all like they had feared, that looking at each other would cause them flashbacks and shit like that, it was actually quite the opposite. With Niall here, Liam knew he had somebody who completely understood him, who had been through the same exact thing and who would be willing to talk anytime if Liam needed somebody. They weren’t alone in all this, they had somebody they loved who was always there and that was the best feeling ever.

 

\--------------------

 

“Just as a warning, Watson is probably gonna jump up on you like a madman, but I promise he won’t do anything, he loves everyone.” They were walking up the flat of stairs to Liam’s apartment door and Niall could feel his heart beating faster with every step. He had seen all this before, Liam had facetimed him while going around his place and outside and stuff, but seeing it all in real life and with Liam there… it was completely different.

“It’s fine, Li, I’m not afraid of dogs. Not at all, actually, and I’ve been looking forward to meeting him.” Niall had also seen Liam’s dog before obviously and it always made his stomach warmer whenever Liam told him that Watson didn’t leave his side ever since he had come home. The blonde could only imagine how excited he must have been upon seeing Liam again, probably even more than Liam’s sister, who Niall still kinda wanted to have a fight with. “It’s so weird that I’m really here.”

“True.” Liam laughed a bit, giving Niall his bag to hold while unlocking the door and Niall didn’t know why but he held his breath when Liam pushed the door open, the familiarity of it all instantly hitting him in the face, much like the thought of how much the apartment just smelled like _Liam_. “Right, I- oh, hi, buddy, look who is here.”

The brunette definitely hadn’t promised too much, his dog was whining and wagging his tail like crazy, licking Liam’s fingers and then Niall’s while trying to jump up on them and the blonde felt happiness spreading in his heart. This right here was everything he had wanted to do for three weeks now and he already knew just how much he would hate to leave again. 

“I’d give you a tour, but I kinda feel like you already know where everything is and it’s not very big.” True, it really wasn’t, but it was still perfect to Niall somehow, not because he himself still lived at home and didn’t have his own place, but because it was Liam’s and the blonde could barely believe that they’d get to spend so many days here together, all by themselves. 

“I love it.” Niall just said it because it was true and Liam threw him a crooked smile as he took his bag and the groceries from Niall, moving into the kitchen with Watson following close behind. “It’s really clean as well, my mother would love you.”

“Why, are you so messy?” Liam laughed from the kitchen and Niall slowly started walking towards it, making sure to take everything in. He hadn’t ever thought he’d truly get to be in here somehow, that things would turn out this way, that something so terrible could end like this. 

“No, not at all, but my brother always was when he still lived at home. She’d love you for a lot of things though.” She probably already did even though she had never even met Liam, but Niall talked about him pretty much every single day. “Mostly for how happy you make me.”

At this, Liam stopped unpacking groceries for a second to look at the blonde, a smile spreading across his face when he pulled the younger boy in with one arm until he could kiss him on the mouth. “Not as happy as you make me.”

“Impossible.” Was all Niall answered against the brunette’s lips, wrapping his arms around his neck so they could be even closer and so Liam couldn’t protest.

Sadly, they couldn’t take this further because otherwise the groceries would have gone bad and Liam pulled away from a pouting Niall a few minutes later, laughing when the blonde pulled a bit of a face. He did give him a tiny tour afterwards before asking the blonde whether he was hungry and since Niall hadn’t really eaten in a few hours, he definitely didn’t say no to that. The blonde didn’t think he was too bad at cooking really, but he knew Liam was a lot better because he had lived on his own for a bit so even though he offered his help, he made sure to check with Liam first before he did anything at all. 

“Careful, don’t burn yourself.” Liam somehow seemed really concerned about the blonde’s safety once they were pretty much done and waiting for it all to cook properly, Niall sitting on the counter next to the stove, using a spoon to stir their food while the brunette kept a very close eye on him.

“I’m not a baby, Liam.” Niall playfully rolled his eyes, but he didn’t loosen his legs that he had around the older boy in order to make sure he kept on standing in front of him. 

“You’re my baby.” The brunette answered and Niall should have honestly expected that because he always said that, right before throwing that look at the blonde that could have made him melt and would have possibly caused him to pass out had he been standing up straight. “You’re so cute when you’re getting all blushed.”

“Only when I’m getting blushed?” The blonde jokingly asked, at the same time though feeling himself getting even hotter and possibly more red. 

“No, but _especially_ when you’re getting blushed.” Liam was grinning from one ear to the other, reaching out to touch Niall’s warm cheek with only one finger, tracing his tainted skin until he reached his lips and the younger boy felt himself sucking in a quiet breath. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Please stop.” Now Niall was REALLY getting red, which seemed to have been Liam’s goal because he just laughed softly, rubbing his thumb across Niall’s bottom lip while studying his face, as if he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t forget it or something. 

“Why? It’s the truth. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met and I thought that even before I’ve seen you after a shower, who else can say that?” Right, no one could and Niall would have thought Liam was just joking around but the brunette’s face was serious while he said it and he sounded completely honest and it only caused Niall to be forced to look away from his boyfriend’s face. Fuck, he was so in love with this boy and to hear him say all these things was really doing things to Niall he hadn’t known he was even capable of feeling. 

Liam tiled his head and kissed the blonde kinda unexpectedly, but of course Niall immediately went with it, his head hitting the cupboard as he relaxed his jaw with a sigh, allowing Liam entrance to his mouth, just wanting everything of him all at once. They had never gone past getting off together and blowjobs and of course Niall had wanted to many, many times, but it had never been appropriate, or possible.

Now though, they were all alone in an apartment and they had a bed and they were clean and Liam smelled so fucking good and his mouth tasted like heaven and Niall could have just died on the spot. He didn’t though, and neither did he try to take this any further because he was suddenly reminded of the food cooking next to them when a hot drop of oil hit his skin and he felt himself jerking back, kinda annoyed about it a second later though.

“Shit, are you hurt?” Liam immediately moved away from him to wet a kitchen towel, placing it on Niall’s arm before the blonde had been able to fully react to it. 

“No, I’m good, thank you… it was only a small drop, it doesn’t even hurt.” Well, the cold towel was possibly helping with that, but Niall didn’t wanna be a baby. Again. 

“Sorry, I should have paid more attention.” It was so Liam to apologize for that and Niall wanted to tell him that it was absolutely fine and that he wasn’t hurt at all, but the brunette barely took a break in between talking. “Show me what it looks like.”

Niall moved the towel, only to reveal the tiniest red spot ever and he would have felt like an idiot really had Liam not immediately lifted his arm and pressed the gentlest kiss on the burn. God, he was so fucking sweet, Niall still had no idea how he had survived without him for so long, literally. He already dreaded the moment he had to leave again to go back home, like yeah, spending time with his family and friends again was like a dream come true, but it had been three weeks now and it was Liam who Niall wanted to spend every second of every day with, if that would have been possible. 

“I think I’m gonna live.” The blonde joked, his smile becoming a bit wonky though when Liam returned it and his heart skipped a small beat. God, he was so gorgeous, Niall couldn’t even believe it, if Liam had let him, he would have been touching him all day long. 

“I sure hope so, but leave the towel on for a bit longer, just to be sure.” It was slightly weird hearing Liam telling him how to treat a wound because he had done it so many times already, but it was just one of many reasons Niall had always felt so safe with him, even when they hadn’t really gotten along yet. Liam always knew a solution for everything and if he didn’t, he was pretty damn good at pretending and making sure Niall didn’t freak out too much. “I’ll go get some plates.”

“Okay.” Was literally everything Niall was able to say before Liam was kissing him again, only briefly this time but it still left the younger boy wanting more of course, it always did. 

The thing was, though they had been together for a while, they had never sat down at a table together and eaten real food that they had cooked themselves and somehow just everything with Liam was exciting because they had never done it before like normal couples would have, but also simply for the fact that it was Liam. 

“Do you have to do work over the weekend or so?” Niall decided to check while they were eating because it only really occurred to him now that maybe he had interrupted Liam’s schedule or something, he wasn’t really used to any of his friends having full time jobs. 

“I just gotta prepare something but it won’t take long at all. And I didn’t give them any homework luckily so I won’t have to grade anything.” Liam smiled and Niall felt quite relieved even though he had known that there was no reason to worry. He knew Liam had wanted to see him just as badly as the other way around, but he had still thought a few times that maybe he should have checked instead of making it a surprise. It didn’t feel like that at all anymore though. “Do you have to study?”

“I probably should, but no. I mean, I lost a whole semester, but my professors are really understanding and stuff, they all treat me like I’m made of glass now because they think I’m gonna lose it any second.” They had already talked about that a few times, about how other people were treating them if they knew about what had happened to them. It really ranged from extreme pity to people being afraid to just stand near them in fear of the virus. “Maybe I will, I don’t know.”

“Why?” Of course Liam immediately sounded concerned as hell and Niall really hated himself for just having said it out loud without thinking. 

“I… I still have trouble sleeping, a lot, as you know because I can’t stop annoying you in the middle of the night, but-“

“You’re not annoying me.” Liam threw in and though he sounded completely honest, Niall still felt bad about how often he had kept the brunette up.

“I’m just really tired sometimes and the pills I’ve got aren’t helping that much either, so… but I’m fine besides that.” Well, kinda, as fine as they were all doing, but Niall didn’t have to tell Liam that, did he? “Maybe I’ll sleep better with you there.”

“I hope so.” Great, now Liam’s mood seemed to be really down and it was all Niall’s fault, his throat closing up a bit when the brunette reached out to put his hand over Niall’s, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. “You know I don’t mind when you call me at night, right? Most of the time I can’t sleep either, so you really don’t have to worry about keeping me up or anything, I want you to call me whenever you need to.”

“I know, Li… thank you. It’s easier falling asleep after we talked.” Or WHILE they were talking because Niall had randomly slept in during phone conversations as well because hearing Liam’s voice was really calming. So the blonde could only imagine that sharing a bed with Liam would be even better because he’d have the brunette right there with him and even though he knew he didn’t have to be afraid anymore, he still sometimes was whenever he was alone at night. Normal, his therapist had said, but the blonde would have still preferred had he been able to sleep with Liam every night. “But don’t worry, I’m good.” 

“I’m always worried about you.” Liam suddenly confessed and Niall wished he could have somehow talked him out of it, but he knew what Liam meant because he felt the same the other way around. It was hard being so far apart after everything, not knowing anymore what the other person was up to at all time, not being, literally, within a few centimeters of reach. 

“Me too… it’s just weird doing things alone.” It was true, like, of course Niall had friends and he knew people at uni and stuff, he had his family and everything, but he still did most things on his own obviously, sometimes he was alone at his parents’ house, alone in his bedroom, and most of all, he was always without Liam no matter what he did. “I’m sure it’ll get better though, it’s only been three weeks. My therapist said it would get better.”

“Did he think it was a good idea that you come visit me?” Liam just asked, as if he was genuinely interested in the answer and Niall tried not to interpret too much into it when he nodded.

“Of course, why would he think it was a bad idea?” Had Liam’s therapist told HIM it was a bad idea?

“I don’t know… I was just worried, I guess. You know what we talked about when we were still there… about how meeting up with the others could trigger flashbacks or bad memories.” Right. “I know we have that groupchat and everything and I’ve talked on the phone with Harry, but we never really talked about meeting up or anything. And I know you and me have talked about it a hundred times and I wanted to see you more than anything in the world, but I was still kinda scared that maybe you didn’t want to or that things have changed or-“

“Wait, what? In what world would I have not wanted to see you, Li? We talk on FaceTime every single day and I love you more than anything.” Had Niall given Liam reason to worry or anything? Although, he had to admit that he himself had sometimes had his worries as well so it was probably completely normal, right? Still, it pained Niall to think that Liam would ever feel this way, that he would have doubts about them. 

“I know that, I was just thinking, nothing else, sorry. I know you were having the same thoughts when we weren’t home yet, I just… I’m really glad you’re here and that you decided to surprise me.” Liam offered a smile and Niall returned it, feeling his heart growing a bit warmer at the same time, turning his hand so that their fingers were intertwined. “And just so you know, you can come stay with me whenever you want to and for how long you want to.”

“Thank you, Li. Who knows, I might be back really soon with all my stuff and then you’ll regret what you said.” Niall joked to lighten the mood a little and though Liam laughed shortly, he was shaking his head at the same time.

“That’s impossible, Nialler, and you know it. You could have come up to me before telling me you were gonna move in with me and I would have let you.” The way Liam said it almost made Niall cry because he just sounded so genuine, almost as if he was disappointed that Niall _hadn’t_ done that. “Do you want some more juice?”

“Um, yeah, thanks.” A bit distracted by the quick change of topic, Niall suddenly had a really hard time concentrating on his food or anything else that wasn’t Liam’s face. He was so in love with him and hearing how much Liam loved him back was just everything Niall could have possibly wanted.

 

\----------------------

 

“Remember that interview you did a while ago?” Niall asked while he was watching Liam brushing his teeth by the sink, talking around his own toothbrush while sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

“Mhm?” Liam made before spitting in the sink, kinda confused about the blonde bringing that up because they had already talked about that when it had happened. Also, Liam really didn’t like remembering it because he felt kinda weird about it now and because he had really only done it for the money. 

“Louis just sent me the picture they used for it and asked me if I wank over it.” Oh.

“Are you?” The brunette asked, kinda jokingly at first but then there was a bit too much hesitation so he turned around only to see how red Niall had gotten. “Seriously?”

“What? I didn’t even give an answer yet.” The blonde immediately got defensive, starting to brush his teeth a bit more aggressively now and Liam didn’t know whether he should be amused or flattered. Maybe both. 

“Why did you even tell me if you’re so embarrassed about it?” Liam watched while his boyfriend rolled his eyes before going over to the sink to spit out and wash his mouth, taking a bit longer than he probably would have done normally. Somehow though, this whole conversation was getting Liam feeling kinda hot as well.

“I didn’t think you would ask me this seriously.” Niall finally turned around again after putting away his toothbrush as well, but he cleared his throat a little bit too much. “It’s not my fault I have like… three pictures of you and that you looked so good in that one. Also, why does Louis even care so much anyways? He knows I’m here, he probably hoped I would put my phone away so you would read the message on accident or something.”

“What’s the third picture?” Liam tried to think about it, he had sent Niall a selfie once upon request and actually, he used to have been a lot different about this kinda stuff, but these normal things just didn’t really occur to Liam that much anymore.

“A screenshot when we were facetiming. Anyways, let’s not talk about it anymore.” The blonde was still bright red and Liam was biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t start laughing. “Are we really gonna fit in your shower together?”

“Yes, but you can shower alone if you think it’s weird that-“

“It’s not weird at all, I just told you I wank over a picture of you in a stupid newspaper.” True. “Also… we’ve never really… you know.”

“I know.” Liam answered without hesitation because well… it was obvious what Niall meant and Liam had thought about it quite a lot as well if he was being honest. How could he have not, really? “That’s why I said, if it’s weird… I wasn’t really thinking when I suggested it before.”

“I’m glad you did.” Niall answered immediately and without hesitation and they just looked at each other for a moment really, the blonde still blushed and everything, but it was still him who made the first move by simply starting to undress himself. How stupid was it really, that they were now suddenly embarrassed again when they had showered together twice already? When Liam had literally been standing in the shower with Niall, looking at his whole body close up while cleaning him up when he had been sick?

Everything felt so different now though, not in a bad way and not as if they weren’t close anymore or anything, because they had pretty much been touching nonstop since Liam had seen Niall by his car, but they were just in a completely different setting now, with their lives having changed so quickly and suddenly there was no threat anymore, suddenly they had nowhere to get to anymore. They had all the time in the world if they wanted to, all by themselves, without feeling hungry or being afraid or almost freezing to death. It was a really new feeling after it had been all they had known the entirety of them being together and knowing each other.

Liam did start taking his clothes off as well though, not really that shy about it once he was doing it. Niall hadn’t changed all that much, but he definitely looked slightly healthier, but maybe that was only due to the fact that Liam hadn’t seen him naked in a while. Not that he was staring too much or anything, but then again, Niall was his boyfriend, so why wouldn’t he?

“Wait, wait, don’t.” Liam barely stopped Niall from turning on the water once they were in the shower, already having gotten scared that the blonde would make them both jump by literally burning them. “It’s really hot when you first turn the water on.”

“Your shower sucks.” The blonde joked, chuckling when Liam rolled his eyes but at the same time he pressed himself impossibly close so he wouldn’t come in touch with the water and of course the brunette didn’t mind that at all. “When I got home first I spent like 2 hours just lying in the bathtub in my parents’ house and they thought I drowned. I never knew being clean could feel so fucking good.”

“I know, sometimes I go shower if I’m bored, just because I can.” It was true, Liam did a lot of things now just because he could, like, going to the store and buying things he didn’t actually need, or brushing his teeth 5 times a day. “Okay, I think it’s alright now.” 

Liam made sure not to startle the blonde when he moved them a bit, but Niall quickly stepped a bit away from him so they could both get wet, keeping his hand on Liam’s hip for a while though and the brunette tried not to think about all the possibilities they now had. First, they needed to shower before doing anything else. 

“Now I know why you smell so good.” Niall commented when Liam handed him the shower gel, sounding quite serious about it as well so the brunette didn’t quite know what to do other than to feel flattered. “Can I wash your hair afterwards?”

“If you want to.” Not sure what had gotten Niall so excited about it, but he was grinning when Liam agreed.

The shower was slightly small for two people at once, but that was completely fine for them because they didn’t exactly mind touching each other on purpose and on accident. Also, they were almost the same height, so when Niall told Liam to close his eyes so he could wash his hair, he had it fairly easy reaching the older’s head, even though he stepped so close that Liam could feel the blonde’s breath on his face.

It wasn’t Liam’s fault really that all this was kinda turning him on, they were just so close and Niall’s fingers felt really good massaging his scalp and moving through his short hair and then combined with the blonde standing so, so close to him… it was actually a wonder Liam was able to just stand still and not do anything at all.

When Niall was done and had made sure all the shampoo had been washed out of Liam’s hair, the brunette didn’t even really notice at first, only when Niall slowly retracted his fingers from his hair and then before Liam could have opened his eyes or reacted any other way, he suddenly felt the blonde’s lips against his. 

Niall wasn’t kissing him desperately or anything, he just slowly moved his lips against Liam’s while his hands came up to lightly hold the sides of Liam’s face. Water was still running down loudly over them and the kiss was wet and warm even before Niall rubbed his tongue over Liam’s bottom lip and the brunette immediately relaxed his jaw, fingers squeezing the younger’s hips as he pulled him in until they were as close as somehow possible.

It felt so bloody good, Liam felt shivers down his spine whenever Niall’s tongue met his and the younger boy would make a sound in the back of his throat, holding on even tighter to the brunette, somehow trying to get even closer even though that was impossible. He tasted like heaven to Liam, and though they had definitely already snogged today, there were no more unnecessary clothes in between them now and no other distractions going on around them, it caused more butterflies to come awake in Liam’s stomach than maybe ever before.

He didn’t even notice that he had been moving forward until there was nowhere else to go anymore because Niall’s back had hit the back of the shower, his fingers now curled into the hair in the back of Liam’s neck, making sure he stayed close while they were kissing. Liam kinda thrusted his hips against Niall’s without even thinking about it, the younger boy moaning quietly into his mouth, which only got Liam harder. Fuck, he wanted Niall so badly, all of him all at once, but at the same time he never wanted to do anything else other than to keep on snogging him like this, right here. 

“Liam… “ Niall half choked out after having moved his arms around the older’s neck, their lips still brushing while he talked and Liam kissed him a few more times before allowing him to talk again, his hands having slipped down to the younger’s arse in an attempt to keep him closer. He could have probably come like this, but it was clearly not what the blonde wanted. “Can we… can we wait for a few more minutes?”

“Okay… “ Liam stopped moving his hips against Niall’s in the slow rhythm that he had built, holding his hips again instead of his ass but going in for another kiss because he already missed the younger’s lips against his and his taste in his mouth. “Do you wanna go to my bedroom?”

“Yeah… “ The blonde leaned his head back against the tiles then and Liam slowly blinked his eyes open so they could look at each other, trying to catch their breath. Niall didn’t say anything for a bit, he just studied Liam’s face, rubbing his thumb over his skin and catching a few water drops before leaning in so he could kiss Liam’s cheek, and then his nose and his temple and before Liam could have gotten overly red, the younger boy was already back to kissing his lips again.

It took them ages until they made it out of the shower, Liam was rock hard by that time but he was holding back of course and he knew why Niall didn’t just want them to get off together in the shower but that knowledge only got Liam more turned on. They didn’t bother with towels or anything, they just turned off the water somehow and honestly, Liam couldn’t really remember the way to his bedroom next door and how exactly he managed to close the door with his foot so Watson couldn’t come in after them, he just knew that they barely stopped kissing for just a second.

“Fuck, I’m so cold.” Was the first thing Niall said once they had let themselves fall onto Liam’s bed, not as gracefully as the brunette would have hoped.

Feeling slightly bad about having ignored the towels, Liam made sure to bunch up his blanket around Niall while lying on top of him, hoping that he was going to warm him up a little bit. “Do you wanna go dry off?”

“No… kiss me again.” Niall was puckering his lips a bit and Liam laughed breathlessly before leaning down to kiss his boyfriend again, Niall’s arms wrapping back around his neck, making him shiver. Liam felt kinda cold as well, but that quickly passed once their kisses were getting more desperate again and Niall started moving his hips up a bit with a clear purpose.

It wasn’t the first time Liam was about to have sex, but it felt very different from literally any time before and he couldn’t help that though he was more than excited, he also felt his nerves playing up a bit. They had never really discussed it before, not in detail anyways and though they both clearly wanted it, Liam had to lean back for a moment before doing anything else, making sure that Niall was looking at him. Fuck, he looked so good with his skin all flushed and his lips all swollen, breath going a bit rigid.

“Do you… do you really want to? I’ve like, I’ve got nothing here.” Obviously, because Liam hadn’t expected for the blonde to show up today and even if he had, he wasn’t sure if he would have bought anything because… it would have seemed kinda suggestive. 

“I want to… if you do.” Niall sounded concerned for a moment, relaxing quite visibly though when Liam immediately nodded. “I don’t think we’d need condoms anyways… I mean, we’ve both been tested on literally any illness that exists like 20 times in the past few weeks.”

“True, yeah… but I was more thinking about lube and stuff.” Also, Liam didn’t even know how Niall wanted to do it and he himself really didn’t mind, so he waited for the blonde’s reaction to see what he would say.

“It’s okay, just… be gentle.” Maybe Liam was imaging it, but somehow Niall got even redder while saying it and just because he was so fucking cute that the brunette’s heart was aching, he made sure to lean down to briefly kiss Niall’s cheek.

“I promise I will. You can be on top if you’re afraid it’s gonna hurt.” Just to make sure he knew, even though Liam could kinda already tell from Niall’s expression that he didn’t.

“It’s fine, I trust you and… I think you’re a bit more experienced than me.” Upon saying it, he grinned a bit and Liam rolled his eyes. 

“I told you how long it’s been since I had sex the last time… also, it doesn’t matter who’s more experienced, it’s not about anybody else except you and me and we’ve never slept together, so… “ So basically, Liam had a right to be nervous about this, about wanting to make it as good as somehow possible. “I won’t hurt you though, I promise, and if I do you gotta tell me immediately, okay? I’m gonna take my time.”

“Or… or you could not take your time because I feel like we’ve waited 3 years to do this.” It did kinda feel that way, but no matter what Niall said, Liam wasn’t going to risk hurting the blonde in any way and he was sure the blonde would have preferred that over everything being over within a few minutes and him being in pain. 

“I’m gonna take my time.” Liam told him again, which caused the blonde to roll his eyes, but the fond look on his face made Liam’s heart beating faster as he leaned down to catch Niall’s lips in another kiss, just because he couldn’t wait any longer to feel them against his own again. 

They didn’t really do anything for a while other than snogging on Liam’s bed and thrusting their hips together, but at some point Liam just thought he was going to burst if they didn’t stop, so he started kissing down Niall’s jaw and neck instead, the younger boy sighing quietly, tilting back his head in order to give him better access.

Niall’s skin was so smooth and soft and somehow Liam couldn’t think about anything else other than bruising it up, making sure absolutely anybody who saw the blonde would know that he was taken, so that’s exactly what Liam did. 

“Fuck… “ The blonde half choked out when Liam started sucking on his sensitive skin right by his pulse, his fingers pulling almost painfully on the older’s hair while he was struggling to catch his breath. 

The fact that they had all the time in the world kinda made Liam not wanna get on with it at all, he just wanted this to last forever, Niall sighing and moaning above him underneath Liam’s touches while the brunette was appreciating every inch of his body because he finally could. After Liam had surely put three bruises on Niall’s neck and his collar bone though, the brunette did decide to move on, also because Niall kinda started to whine a little bit above him.

“Liam… please… I don’t wanna come before we’ve done anything… “ Niall almost sounded like he was crying when Liam was sucking his nipple into his mouth and Liam made sure to check whether he was, just in case. 

“’s not my fault you’re so beautiful.” Liam mumbled against Niall’s skin, mostly because of course it was true, but also partly because he knew it would annoy the younger boy and make him blush like hell. 

All Niall did as a reaction to that was whine again and Liam momentarily stopped kissing down his stomach to kiss his lips instead, smiling against the younger’s mouth because of how fucking eager he was for them to just get on with it. Liam got it of course, they had waited really damn long for this and it didn’t really matter if they did it quickly or not because they’d have many more chances to have sex, but maybe it was just Liam’s romantic side that was preventing him from going too fast. 

Still, he did at some point tell the blonde to turn around onto his stomach, very well aware that Niall was watching him while having his head resting on his arm. 

“Okay, I just got my spit, so… I’ll stop if you flinch.” Liam told the blonde because he kinda suspected Niall wouldn’t have told him had he been in pain and though the younger boy didn’t react, he still rolled his eyes a little bit and Liam smiled, leaning over him for a moment so he could place a kiss on the back of his neck. “I love you too, baby.”

“Love you.” Niall mumbled against his own skin before letting his eyes fall closed and the brunette again felt his nerves acting up a bit. 

Though they were both clearly nervous, Niall was actually doing really well after Liam had probably spent five minutes prepping him with one finger, making sure to lick around it just to keep it wet but of course also because it caused Niall to moan and make these lovely sounds that Liam felt in his groin. Fuck, he couldn’t actually believe that they were doing this, that he was about to have sex with Niall, the one person who he truly believed was the love of his life, it just felt so surreal that Liam almost forgot what he had been doing.

“You… you can do another. ’m good.” Niall was talking kinda quietly from above, letting out another quiet moan when Liam shifted the finger he had inside him. 

When Liam lined up a second finger, he could feel the blonde flinching a bit so he made sure to stop, ask him how he was doing and allowing him to adjust even though Niall pretended that he was really annoyed by that at first. Not like Liam cared about that, Niall’s well being and his pleasure was the single most important thing to Liam and the fact that the blonde stopped complaining a bit after a while only showed the brunette that he was actually grateful that they were taking their time. 

“I think… _fuck_ … I t-think that’s e-enough… shit… “ The blonde had turned into an absolute mess after only a few minutes, Liam now having three fingers inside of him, slowly thrusting them in and out, making sure to open the younger boy up sufficiently for his cock. Shit, he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to wait. “Liam… _please_ … “

“Okay, okay… “ Still, Liam moved his fingers a few more times, grazing the younger’s prostate kinda on accident, which only caused the blonde to whine even more. “Turn back around, I wanna look at you.”

Niall immediately did as he had been told as soon as Liam’s fingers had left his body, his face red and sweaty, but Liam barely had time to take it in because the blonde had already pulled him down for a kiss that tasted kinda salty and wet but also so fucking good that Liam could have gotten lost in it had Niall not been circling his hips a bit, quietly telling him what he wanted.

“Tell me if I need to stop, okay?” Liam felt breathless once they had pulled apart again, throwing a look at Niall’s nod before looking down as he grabbed a hold of his own erection, biting his lip as he made sure to spread the precum over his length before slowly lining himself up with Niall’s stretched hole. “Okay?”

“Yes.” Niall half whispered, one hand resting on Liam’s free arm and the other on the side of his neck, his face pain free when the brunette briefly checked before starting to push inside of him. “Fuck… just… do it.”

Liam ignored the request, he still went as slowly as possible, listening to Niall’s breathing and making sure to check his face every few seconds, just in case. At the same time, Liam tried really hard to hold back, not think about how bloody good it felt to be inside the younger boy, how hot and tight he was and how it would have felt to be thrusting into him.

Once Liam was bottoming out completely, they were both visibly holding their breaths as Liam fully lied down on top of the blonde again, covering his lips with his own and the blonde immediately accepted him into his mouth, wrapping his legs around the back of Liam’s thighs in order to keep him closer.

There was no more time to talk really, but Niall was kissing Liam so desperately, almost ripping his hair out, that the brunette kinda felt like it was alright to move his hips a bit, so he did and Niall only grabbed harder onto him, moaning in his mouth.

Liam built a very slow rhythm at first even though Niall was clearly trying to get him to fuck him harder, but he waited a while before speeding up a little bit, their lips slipping off of the other at some point, both of them just breathing and moaning against one another.

“Fuck… you feel s-so good… “ The brunette was already embarrassingly close, but judging by the noises coming out of the younger’s mouth, he wasn’t the only one. 

“M-Me too… please… h-harder… “ Was all Niall choked out, so that’s exactly what Liam did. 

He could feel sweat dripping down the side of his face while fucking into his boyfriend, getting a hand in between them in order to messily jerk him off at the same time and Niall was just a freaking mess at this point, still begging Liam to go harder and deeper until the bed was lightly bumping against the wall. 

Burying his face next to where Niall’s head was in the pillow, Liam was biting his lip bleeding in an attempt to hold back, feeling Niall’s fingernails probably drawing blood on his back as he brought the younger boy close and closer to his high. “L-Li… ‘m g-gonna… _ohmygod… LIAM_ … “

Niall came with the older’s name on his lips, spilling between their bodies and clenching around the older’s length, which was all Liam needed to be pushed over the edge as well. He fucked them both through it, seeing stars in front of his closed eyes as he tried to draw it out as long as somehow possible.

They were both more than exhausted afterwards, Liam just kinda collapsing on top of the blonde and Niall loosely wrapped his arms around him while they were both attempting to catch their breath. Liam had never felt this way before, it had never felt so right and intense with anybody else and judging from the look on Niall’s face when they finally looked at each other again before kissing, the younger boy felt quite the same way.

 

\------------------

 

“Louis just texted asking if we wanna meet up sometime soon.” Niall was evenly running his fingers through Liam’s hair while scrolling through his phone, feeling happier than maybe any time before.

“Hmm… all of us?” Liam was half asleep, he had his head resting on the blonde’s chest and they were both only covered with a blanket because they had been way too lazy to get up again after they had slept together. Which Niall still couldn’t believe, he couldn’t remember ever feeling so close to somebody, ever having these kinda feelings for another person and loving them so much that his heart could have literally burst from it. 

“Yeah, Zayn already said yes and Harry’s with Louis’ anyways, so… “ The blonde waited, not wanting to reply before Liam gave him a yes. “Do you want to as well?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” There was a yawn afterwards and Niall felt a smile spreading across his face as he leaned down to kiss the top of Liam’s head before texting Louis back. They didn’t talk for a few minutes and Niall also texted back his mom before checking his emails and realizing that maybe now was a good time to bring up another topic. 

“Actually, I… I wanted to tell you something, before you sleep in, I mean.” Niall had kinda planned to tell Liam only before he would leave or before he had confirmation, but now that this whole evening had turned out like the best fucking night of Niall’s entire life… he really wanted to tell Liam right now.

“Sure, what is it, baby?” Liam was clearly forcing himself to sound more awake, but he didn’t lift his head just yet, which was completely fine of course, he was understandably tired.

“So, um… I was thinking a lot when were apart and… I know that you have a job here that you love and an apartment and your dog and… and I’m still at uni, but also… those three weeks without you were kinda really fucking terrible and I just… I don’t think I can do a long distance relationship, so I… I put an application in for the uni here. And I know maybe we should have talked about it, but I-“

“Wait, wait. Seriously?!” Liam’s head had snapped up within a second, his eyes had grown wide and for a moment Niall wasn’t sure whether he was shocked in a good or bad way.

“Um, yes. I can’t be away from you for this long again and… I can just live in the dorms and I can see my family during breaks and stuff, I… I wanna be with you and I wanna be close to you and I can’t stand going back home again and waiting a whole week to see you again and… I know we should have talked about it and I understand if you’re angry-“

“ _Angry?!_ Fuck, Niall, this is… this is literally the best thing you could have just told me. There’s NO way you’re going to live in the dorms, you can stay here with me of course, I… I’m so happy. Oh my god, baby… did you really think it through though?” Liam seemed overly excited but also a little worried, but Niall was determined to change that, feeling himself relaxing now that he knew Liam was happy. 

“I did, I’ve thought about it ever since we got onto that plane… I love my family and my friends and everything, but… you’re the most important thing to me and I wanna be with you, _really_ be with you and I just know that this is the right thing.” Niall had also talked about it with his parents and of course he didn’t have confirmation yet that he would really get into that uni, but they had told him the chances were pretty high. And if he got rejected, they would find another way for sure.

For a moment, Liam just looked at Niall before his smile got even wider and before the blonde could have said anything else, he was kissing him firmly on the lips and then moving on to pepper kisses all over his face until the blonde was giggling like a fucking idiot. “I love you so much, fuck.”

“I love you too, Li… “ And no matter what had happened and what would happen in the future and despite the fact that they had met under such terrible circumstances, it had only built a solid base for their relationship that Niall was sure would get them through anything at all. 

These memories would never truly leave, but they could learn to live with what had happened, like Liam’s thumb brushing softly across the scars on Niall’s stomach hours later didn’t cause the blonde to flinch anymore because he knew that no matter what, none of this had been for nothing, he had met Liam because of it and Niall truly believed that it couldn’t have been a coincidence. More like fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry this is a little late!
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed this last chapter and the fic in general, if you want to, i would love to hear your thoughts on it! i kinda already have my next fic planned, but im always open for suggestions and ideas, so dont be shy to share them!!! 
> 
> thank you all so much once again for being so lovely and for sticking around and supporting me and leaving such sweet comments and so many kudos, it really makes writing so much more fun <3


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